Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady
by The Green Lady
Summary: Set from the beginning of OOTP to the end of DH, this is the behind the scenes romance of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks that slowly evolved and grew despite many different obstacles, setbacks, complications and helpful attempts from cousins and friends
1. Head Over Heels

"_I do not understand this. Again, its bad boy syndrome isn't it? It's very depressing...Girls, stop going for the bad guy. Go for a nice man in the first place. It took me 35 years to learn that, but I am giving you that nugget free, right now, at the beginning of your love lives…" J.K. Rowling_

* * *

_**PART I**_

_**MEET**_

**Chapter One- Head over Heels**

CLANGGGGGGGGGG!

"Tonks!" Kingsley hissed in exasperation. The metallic lids began rolling around on the empty street, creating a loud noise that echoed into the dark shadows all around them. Nymphadora Tonks sat there in a crumpled heap surrounded by the overturned rubbish that had fallen on her when she tripped over the dustbins.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed. "I didn't even see them!"

Kingsley extended a helping hand and Tonks took it gratefully.

"You have a banana peel on your head." Kingsley said in his deep voice. Tonks shook her head like a wet dog, sending bits of trash that were stuck to her all over Kingsley.

Kingsley calmly cleaned himself up with his wand and then tapped Tonks with it, getting rid of the rest of the trash. "You don't want to go in there getting off on the wrong foot, do you?"

"No. Thanks for getting all that scum off me."

"I meant the hair." Kingsley said looking pointedly at her neon orange ringlets that exploded from her head.

"What's wrong with it?" Tonks asked stubbornly.

Kingsley sighed. "You know what Mad-Eye is going to say about that, and I'm sure some of the older members might find it a bit…juvenile."

"Juvenile." Tonks repeated. "Well I can't help it that they find my personal style and modern fashion juvenile. If they get their knickers in a twist about it, well then I'll think about changing it to something more appropriate."

"Like neon green?" Kingsley asked.

"Exactly." said Tonks. "And as for my wardrobe…" she spun around slowly on the spot displaying her heavily ripped and patched jeans, her colorful shirt that had a large picture of Kirley McCormick on it and her rather cheap, sparkly jewelry. "If they think that's juvenile as well, I think their all a bit shallow to judge a book by its cover."

"Tonks, you don't need a cover-your personality is screaming all by itself with that outfit."

"Oh you are funny." She said sarcastically.

He smiled, a rare thing for Kingsley, "Come'on then. Let's go."

She was joining the Order. A fine and noble cause…and this was going to be her first meeting. She had never heard of Dumbledore's Order until she had been approached by Kinglsey, a recent member himself, at work.

It had been at the office party. She was rather smashed from the all the champagne she had had and somehow managed to bump into him. Their conversation had jumped suddenly from Muggle sky diving to Death Eaters. Tonks assumed she was responsible for that. It had been bothering her for some time how ridiculous the Ministry had been acting right after Dumbledore himself had announced Voldemort's return. Somehow, very stupidly on her part- she began angrily ranting about it to Kingsley for sometime before she started talking about vegetarian burritos.

And here she was. Kingsley as he later informed her had been watching her closely for the weeks that followed the office party and after carefully dropping meaningful conversations about the Ministry and Voldemort, eventually discovered her true feelings about the Ministry still ran the same course as they did when she was sober. He had talked to the Order about her and spoken to Dumbledore and when she herself had expressed a sincere interest, they had agreed she could join.

Merlin's beard, if she botched things up she would never forgive herself. This is what she really wanted to be doing- actually fighting evil and doing something worthwhile in this new and dangerous time. Right in the line of action- that's where she wanted to be, right where the fighting was at its thickest and most-

She tripped on an uneven bit on the footpath and stumbled into an overhead streetlamp.

"Tonks! Are you alright?"

Tonks tried to laugh and thought it came off sounding stupid. "I think I'm just a bit nervous. I always get more clumsy than usual when I'm nervous."

"You'll do fine. It's just a meeting."

"Yeah. Meeting. Great. Sure." she said swallowing nervously.

"Nearly there." said Kingsley as they rounded the street corner.

Kingsley had them walking there that night, he said it would be good to do so instead of apparating so that Tonks really knew where it was if something went wrong and she had to get there some other way.

It was very late. In fact, they had barely passed anybody on the dark London streets on coming over. There was a long row of fine houses that had obviously once seen better days. Tonks looked up at them counting the numbers as they passed.

Eventually Kingsley slowed down and stopped on the sidepath looking anxiously around and inclined with a nod to the house they'd be going into.

Tonks though she knew it was magically protected, saw the house right away. Dumbledore was the secret keeper of the headquarters and had already told her the location when he met to talk to her…

_The Order of the Phoenix…Number twelve Grimmauld Place…_

Tonks stared at it in disbelief for a moment, she had expected something….

Grander.

The old, shabby house with its grimy windows and unkempt appearance looked like an utter wreck. Perhaps it was prejudice from working with the Ministry for so long, but it looked like a dismal place to hold a headquarters. If they asked her for any ideas of what do, she was going to recommend starting up a new fund for a cleaner command center.

Tonks followed Kingsley up to the black painted front door where a silver door knocker in the shape of a snake hung. It looked downright creepy.

Kinglsey opened the front door with his wand. Tonks heard locks turning from within side the house and the door creaked open. Kingsley silently motioned for her to quickly head inside. She walked in and stared…

The inside unbelievably was worse on the inside than the outside. It was dark and spooky. Cobwebs and filth were everywhere, some moldy curtains on one side of the wall, peeling wallpaper-

"Come'on to the back." Kingsley whispered.

"Why-" Tonks started to ask before Kingsley cut her off with a 'shhhing' noise.

Tonks frowned but followed him down a hall, where a door with light shining from under it was waiting.

"Why do we have to whisper?" she asked quietly.

"Later." Kingsley said, as they reached the door and opened it.

It was a miserable, half-ruined back room. Several witches and wizards were gathered there talking quietly amongst themselves. As soon as she walked in everyone's eyes fell on her and the noise ceased.

"Hullo everyone." Kingsley said in his deep voice. "This is Tonks."

Tonks gave a cheery wave and nearly hit Kingsley in the face by accident.

"Oops! Sorry Kingsley."

"It's fine."

"Oh, welcome, Tonks!" said a plump, kind-faced woman coming up to her. Tonks knew her immediately.

"Mrs. Weasley!"

"Oh, Tonks dear- it's been too long!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed pulling Tonks into a crushing hug. Tonks thought Mrs. Weasley looked slightly more anxious and tired looking from when she had seen her last.

"How is everyone? Where's Charlie been these days?" She had been friends with Charlie- they had been in the same year when attending Hogwarts together.

"He's still in Romania. But Bill-" she seemed to snatch her oldest son right out of thin air. "He's here." She said with a meaningful look.

"Hullo Tonks." Bill said with a nod.

"Wotcher Bill." Tonks grinned. "Haven't seen you around lately, not since I dropped by that day at Gringotts."

Bill's eyes widened as she realized what she was on about, ever so casually he shook his head.

Mrs. Weasley looked at her son fondly, missing the shake. "Oh yes, Bill's been working there- he enjoys it a lot."

"I imagine he does." Tonks smirked.

"Right!" said Bill briskly. "How about you meet everyone else?" He pulled Tonks away from his beaming mother and up to the other witches and wizards.

"This is Sturgis Podmore." A square jawed wizard with thick, straw coloured hair inclined his head. "This is Emmeline Vance and Mad-…er, I mean- Moody, you know him already I believe."

Mad-Eye Moody's small, dark beady looked her up and down- pausing on the bright orange hair. He let out a scathing snort of disgust and turned away.

"We've met on occasion-good to see you again too Mad-Eye." Tonks said cheerfully.

He let out a derisive, harsh laugh and clunked away as everyone began chatting again.

"So-" Bill said quietly- "Do you mind not telling my Mum that you've seen me already?"

"Couldn't resist." She grinned. "How is the leggy French bombshell? What's her name again? Fanny?"

"Fleur." Bill said looking uncomfortable; looking about as if Mrs. Weasley would pop up suddenly and overhear them.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Bill, do us both a favor and tell your Mum that you're having regular make-out sessions with this Mademoiselle Blondie so that she won't be scheming to get us together. Don't look- but I can see her across the room and she's watching us now."

Bill turned anyways to catch a glimpse of his mother watching them intently before she pretended to be fixing an offset candlestick.

"See?" Tonks laughed. "Hurry up and tell her."

"It's not very serious between us though."

She shrugged. "It looked pretty serious to me."

"Oh, Tonks!' Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, coming over to drag Tonks over to two new Order members that had just walked into the room, "This is Hestia Jones and Elphias Doge."

The two of them nodded, beaming.

"Welcome." Elphias said in a wheezy voice. "It's always wonderful to see a new face."

"Thanks."

"Another auror, Kingsley mentioned you to us!" Hestia said brightly. "My, my, you are young! How old are you?"

Tonks's smile was rather pained now. She had been afraid of this happening. She was obviously one of the youngest people there-and without a doubt the most "juvenile" looking as Kingsley put it. She opened her mouth to reply when suddenly right behind her came a man's voice. "Welcome to the Order…Nymphadora."

Tonks turned around and saw the one person she had most wanted to meet that entire night. A tall, gaunt man with long black hair was standing stiffly in the doorway. His grey eyes had an empty, fathomless look in them as he stared at her.

Tonks had had no idea what to expect when she saw him. Dumbledore and Kingsley had both talked to her before hand so that she wouldn't be shocked by her cousin's presence and they had both reassured her that he was entirely trustworthy. Dumbledore had gone through all the trouble of personally coming to her messy, dirty laundry covered apartment flat a few days ago to sit her down and tell the whole story of her cousin's innocence and how he had been apart of a terrible miscarriage of justice. The story was so bizarre and so strange it took Tonks awhile to swallow- but she was forcing herself to hold off making any assumptions until she could make her own judgment about Sirius.

Her mother didn't speak of her favorite cousin if she could help it. Tonks had been about seven years old when Sirius was sentenced to Azkaban so she hardly remembered her cousin that her mother still had torn feelings about. Her mother at first wrote letters to the ministry, pleading for a fair trial but her requests went unanswered and although her mother for awhile said there was more to the story than they all knew- eventually fell into silence and avoided speaking of him at whatever cost.

She had expected herself to be angry, frightened, and even coldly indifferent but what she hadn't expected was what she was feeling right then.

Everyone in the now silent room was waiting for her response on baited breath.

Tonks smiled and went up to Sirius Black, a convicted murderer and ex-inmate of Azkaban and hugged him.

Sirius looked startled and awkwardly hugged her back, looking as though he had forgotten how.

"It's Tonks cuz-" she said. "Only people who want to be the receiver of a 'Toe-fungus' hex call me Nymphadora."

There was a sigh of relief from the surrounding members. Mrs. Weasley was dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.

"Tonks…" Sirius croaked. "I never thought I'd say this, but I've never been happier to see someone from the family again."

Tonks beamed and felt proud and glad that she had already made a good impression on her older cousin.

Sirius stared at her for a moment. "You're…quite grown up."

At least somebody thought she wasn't a child.

Mrs. Weasley suddenly started up a conversation with Elphias and Hestia that was loud enough to give her and Sirius a private conversation of their own.

"And you're quite…" Tonks paused and tried to think of what to say besides, 'scary looking', "Er-"

There was a ghost of a smile on her cousin's gaunt face. "Frightening?"

"I was going to say you still have a good sense of humor." Tonks invented.

He looked unconvinced. "Then in my case I believe it's called: 'Gallows humor'."

"Black humor." Tonks said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "That would be highly ironic."

Tonks realized it was going to be very difficult to carry on a conversation with her cousin since she couldn't very well ask him, 'So, what have you been doing for thirteen years? How have things been?'

Fortunately, Sirius carried it on, "So how is your mother?"

Tonks bit her lip. "Well to be honest, I try to avoid going home as much as possible. You know- chastising me about my choice in clothes, food, boys, etc… But the last time I saw her she seemed to be doing well."

Sirius looked as if he wanted to ask something else- but he paused for a moment before saying as lightly as possible, "That's good. And your father?"

"He's good." Tonks sighed. "Still putting up with Mum at least which is something."

Sirius nodded.

Tonks had managed to think of something to ask that did not tread upon the large and looming topic of Azkaban. "So this place…some headquarters huh? Personally," she said in a lowered voice. "I think its bloody awful. A real piece of shit."

Sirius let out a loud, barklike laugh that startled her and some of the other members. Obviously that didn't happen too often.

"What?" Tonks asked, completely bewildered.

"Tonks, do you know what place this is?" Sirius asked.

She looked around, and raised an eyebrow wondering if this was some sort of trick question. "Yes…#12 Grimmauld Place, London…the Headquarters to the Order of the Phoenix."

Sirius chuckled. "And what else?"

Tonks shrugged. "Someone's creepy old home?"

"Correct." Sirius said, he went over to the nearby bookshelf and patted it- sending up small clouds of dust. "It's my creepy old home."

Tonks stared at him, aghast. "What?"

"This place." Sirius said grimly. "Is the Black family home. I lived here when I was younger."

"Oh! Sirius…I'm sorry. It really is a lovely place-just needs a bit of dusting I'm sure and-"

"Tonks-" Sirius grinned. "It is a piece of shit. And I believe we could add- 'nuthouse' to that description as well."

Tonks grinned back nervously still afraid she had insulted Sirius and his family home.

"Your mother actually ran away from here when she ran off to go marry your father."

"But I thought she lived in-"

"Her family spent that summer here, where she met Ted- your father- and ran away with him several months later." He leaned against the shelf, smiling reminiscently. "Ah, that was a wonderful day. I nearly died of laughter from that. Best thing she ever did."

It was the weirdest thing to be standing there talking to a family relative whose face she had only seen on 'most wanted' posters. He seemed so…normal.

He turned to face her again. "One of the last letters your mother ever sent me was telling me how you were a Metamorphmagus."

"Yeah. That's true."

He raised an eyebrow. "Let's see it then."

She scrunched up her face and closed her eyes, thinking hard. When she opened her eyes she grinned at Sirius's surprised expression.

"My female look alike." He said with a smile, tugging one of the long black ends from her head. "Very good."

She had mirrored her cousin's own ghastly, once aristocratic Black appearance. Gotten it down to the last eyelash.

"Is the meeting going to start soon?" Tonks asked her cousin.

He nodded "As soon as Dumbledore and a few others get here."

"Oh, okay then….er, where's the loo?"

Sirius smiled. "Upstairs down the landing and at the end of the hall on the left. You don't have to be THAT nervous."

"Who said anything about being nervous?" Tonks said. "Maybe I just drank too much coffee before I came here."

"Alright then, be careful."

Tonks frowned and wondered if that was joke. It was either his 'Black humour' or it was 'Azkaban has addled his brains humour'. She wasn't sure which one was worse.

She left her cousin and the rest of the Order members behind as she went back into the entrance hall and slowly climbed the stairs. As she saw the line of elf-heads on the wall, she began to wonder if her cousin's warning actually had a valid point behind it.

What a crazy place.

She found the toilet and while washing her hands stared at her reflection, or rather- her cousin's.

It didn't look totally like him she realized. There was one thing no matter how hard she morphed she never was going to get.

His eyes. Her's were sparkling, a little nervous looking but most defiantly, the eyes of Nymphadora Tonks despite the grey colour.

But Sirius…his eyes had an almost dead, emotionless look in them. Even when he smiled, it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

And the eyes were window to a person's soul. She had heard that somewhere.

What did that mean for Sirius? He couldn't truly be like that on the inside as well? Could he?

Of course, his friend had been murdered and he had unfairly been sent to Azakaban for thirteen years. That might have had something to do with it.

She shut her eyes and changed her appearance again, back to herself with the exception of the neon orange ringlets. She was going to have to work on her cousin. At the moment, he was still a bit of an enigma to her.

With a sigh she left the toilet and headed briskly back down the hall towards the stairs. _I suppose things could be much worse. _She reasoned. _At least I haven't made a fool of myself or-_

She suddenly tripped on a wrinkled section of the rug and went flying- not just a small trip either- but a full out somersault that sent her rolling head over heels until she lay still on her back staring dizzily up at the ceiling. Her one saving grace was that the hallway was empty-

"Are you alright?" came a nearby voice.

_Shit. _Tonks thought and sat up; trying to focus on her spinning surroundings- there was a man standing over her, looking very concerned. He looked about the same age as her cousin-but his light brown hair was streaked with grey. He was very pale and thin- rather sickly looking when it came down to it, but his warm brown eyes were full of concern as he knelt down next to her.

"That was quite a nasty spill." he said. His voice was rather hoarse as if he didn't use it often enough. "Are you hurt?"

"Wha'? No- no, I'm fine." Tonks said shaking her head to clear her dizziness. "Stupid stuff like that happens all the time to me."

The man extended a pale hand and Tonks took it gratefully- and stood up. She stared at the man- he was rather handsome. Obviously too old for her, and defiantly not her type- but there was something about him that made him very attractive all the same despite his tired appearance. He was wearing some very patched and shabby robes over a ratty tweed sweater giving, giving her the impression of some old library loving, book hugging scholar. He looked like a bloke who would rather stay inside and read a heavy novel with a cup of warm tea rather than go out to a Quidditch game and the pub afterwards with some mates.

Ew. Tweed. Who on earth wore such a thing? It was like something her muggle grandfather used to wear before he died. Ah well- his lack of fashion was by no means any concern of hers.

"You're new to the Order aren't you?" He asked with a warm smile. "Welcome."

"Thanks. My name's Tonks."

"Tonks?" the man asked raising an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "Alright- it's really Nymphadora. Nymphadora Tonks- but please don't make me say it again and don't EVER call me it."

"It's a lovely name."

Tonks let out a loud snort of sarcastic laughter and immediately felt horror wash over her. She had snorted- the horrible snorting laugh that she sometimes let loose without warning.

The man smiled kindly at her.

"Er, so what's your name?" Tonks asked in an attempt to steer them away from her obnoxious laugh.

"Remus Lupin."

"What are you doing for the Order? That is, if asking won't get me killed or anything."

His smile widened. "We're not Ministry Unspeakables."

"I know that. It's just that with the way everyone is hardly talking about their work I keep thinking that were dealing with more secretive work than the Department of Mysteries, and it doesn't help that everyone goes around whispering."

"Well that's only because of the obvious complications of this place, but as far as headquarters go- it could be worse-"

Tonks wondered what he was talking about; she looked around the dirty, dusty and gloomy hallway with raised eyebrows looking for the 'obvious complications'. "Huh." she said.

"Kinglsey told us that you're an auror as well. Quite a noble profession." Remus said quietly.

Tonks felt proud at that. "Ah, well…" she said modestly. "Only qualified a year ago."

"-and received top marks on concealment and disguise." Remus added.

She looked at him in surprise.

"Kinglsey told us you're a Metamorphous."

"Did he?" Tonks asked in exasperation. _Thanks Kingsley, go tell everyone why don't you?_ "Oh, well yeah- it's true."

"I think you'll find it helps a great deal when working with the Order." Remus said. "You don't have to worry about potions or any transfiguration disguises at all."

Tonks stood there waiting for the inevitable request that always followed after people finding out she was a Metamorphous… 'turn yourself into something'… 'what can you do?'… 'can you make your nose grow?', and other things like Sirius himself had asked her to do moments before. In the past people had suggested lots of strange and occasionally insulting things for her to do with her appearance that usually made her feel like a walking freak. She didn't mind so much as she used to- because she learned that taking it with a grin was better then not doing so. But Merlin's beard she still encountered some occasionally appalling people (most of them men) with their suggestions of what to do with herself and no matter where she went, or who was asking, the requests always came.

She waited for a request…

And waited…

It never came.

"Have you met anyone else from the Order yet?" Remus asked as he started to head down the hall.

She was stunned. He hadn't asked. And he knew what a metamorphous was obviously…she followed him and forced herself to answer his question.

"Well I know Kingsley and Moody already…and Dumbledore of course, and I met Sirius, Hestia, Emmeline, Elphias, and Sturgis already. Oh and the Weasleys of course."

"Sounds like mostly everyone has arrived then." Remus said quietly. "Probably a few running late but we should be starting any minute now."

They started to head down the stairs and Tonks felt a flutter of nerves again as she thought of the meeting that was to be starting any minute.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "A little nervous." She admitted, lowering her voice as well though she still had no idea why everyone did so in the main hall.

He smiled warmly at her and something about it suddenly made her legs turn slightly wobbly as if she had just been hit with a jelly-legs jinx. She would have thought she had been hit with a jinx had it not been for the strange lurch in her stomach that accompanied the strange sensation. She managed to smile back before colliding straight on into something hard at the bottom of the stairs and falling flat on her face with a huge thud.

She had tripped right over a large troll leg that looked as if was used as an umbrella stand. The loud crash as the stand and her fell to the floor was loud enough to echo through the silent, dark house. Before she could open her mouth and apologize however an immediate, earsplitting shriek came from nearby, causing her to jump.

The moth eaten curtains on the side of the wall flew open to reveal the portrait of a hideous old woman with messy grey hair and rolling eyes who was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"TRAITORS! LOVERS OF MUDBLOODS!" she shrieked.

The rest of the sleeping portraits along the walls woke too and started to shout. Tonks winced from the amount of noise they were all making and started to sit up as Remus tried to pull the dirty, heavy curtains back over the portrait of the crazy old woman.

Her yellow eyes fell on Tonks. "YOUUUUU!" she screeched and suddenly began clawing at the frame as if she wanted nothing more than to strangle Tonks where she lay. "TRAITOR! DIRTY, HALF-BLOOD, CHILD OF FILTH! FREAK!"

Remus abandoned the curtains and helped Tonks to her feet again as Sirius and a few other members of the Order including Molly Weasley came running in. Mrs. Weasley began stunning the other portraits with the help of Hestia Jones.

Sirius and Remus pulled the curtains together over the mad portrait in what looked like a way they had done all too often. Eventually the noise in the hall fell to silence and Sirius turned back to Tonks who was standing there awkwardly by the fallen umbrella stand.

"That would be your great-aunt." Sirius said to her while going over and picking up the stand to place it beside the stairway again.

"So that would be…your mother?" she asked in astonishment.

He nodded and smiled bitterly. "Let me tell you, the likeness of that bitch never ceases to astonish me."

Before she could say anything else, Mrs. Weasley came forward with a deep frown on her face and began leading her away. "Come this way dear, the meeting is just about to start." She gave Sirius a rather disapproving look over her shoulder as they went down the hall.

Hestia, Sirius and Remus followed in behind them.

The room was much more crowded now with many more new faces. At the front of the room now stood a familiar wizard with a long white beard that beamed at her when she entered the room.

Within seconds of their arrival he held up his hands for silence and the room did so, staring from him to her.

"My friends," said Dumbledore. "This is Nymphadora Tonks, the newest member of the Order. She is an auror as many of you know and is quite eager to help us."

"Wotcher!" she greeted everyone with a cheery smile.

Some of them smiled back but most just turned their attention back to Dumbledore.

"If we could begin tonight's meeting-"

The many seats in the room were gathered close together and people began to sit in them at random. Tonks flopped down into one of the seats and smiled as she watched Mrs. Weasley drag Bill over to sit next to her.

Bill gave her an apologetic smile and she rolled her eyes before shaking hands with an excited looking Dedalus Diggle who had just taken the seat on her left.

Sirius sat across from her, Remus Lupin taking the seat next to him. Tonks wondered if they were friends because they seemed to be talking with obvious familiarity between themselves.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and the room immediately fell into respectful silence.

"Tonight we have a few tasks we need to review-"

Barely had Dumbledore spoken those words when the door swung open again and everyone turned to see who it was.

She gasped outloud as she recognized the man that had just swooped into the room- his dark eyes swept about the place and fell on her.

She gulped and tried to sink lower in her chair knowing that the orange ringlets exploding from ontop of her head were not helping in the slightest.

"Severus-" Dumbeldore said cheerfully. "This is Nymphadora Tonks. I'm sure you remember teaching her when she attended school."

Snape's eyes narrowed. Tonks stared into his cold, black eyes feeling apprehensive. She had no doubt that he remembered her. He was one of the teachers that had made her life hell for as long as she had to take potions. Although to be fair, she hadn't made his life any easier in return. He sneered at her before finally moving away to the dark corner to take a seat in one of the stiff-backed chairs.

She noticed Sirius and Remus exchange dark looks.

Dumbledore continued on as if nothing had happened, "Tonight we have a few important things to consider…"

Tonks listened with rapt interest to Dumbledore talk about the Ministry and the work that everyone else was already doing in the Order. The amount of work that was taking place right under the Ministry's nose to fight Voldemort was amazing. A few witches and wizards got up several times to explain how their individual missions were working out. Tonks didn't realized how much time had passed until Dumbledore spoke up again after Mr. Weasley had finished talking.

"Before we conclude tonight's meeting, I would like to put forward an important task that needs careful consideration. I am speaking of a daring and risky plan-"

This sounded promising. She leaned forward in her chair eagerly.

"…that will be able to stage a safe operation in order to get back Harry Potter from his Aunt and Uncle's house."

There was a murmur of interest from most of the members. From what it sounded like to her, only a few had met Harry personally and most hadn't seen him in years. Tonks was one of the ones that had never met him herself.

"We need a group of people who would be willing to volunteer to pick up Harry. An advance guard perhaps to provide protection as we get him, sometime around late July to August. If anyone interested could just raise their hand-"

Hands shot up from the all over the room, Tonks's was one of the fastest.

The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched. "Very good. That's more than enough."

"I'm thinking ten or so would be a good number." Moody said suddenly, his magical eye swiveling around.

Dumbledore inclined his head. "It seems to be a good idea."

Moody clapped his hand together enthusiastically. "We could have a direct guard and then perhaps a system where we could immediately get reinforcement if we were to be attacked. What we should work on now is how to get there without breaking any laws and without being noticed by both the Death Eaters and the Ministry-"

"What if," Dedalus piped up. "We were to apparate to the village and-"

"His muggles are relatives Dedalus." Mr. Weasley reminded him, looking very tired.

Within seconds the room was full of suggestions.

"We could-"

"How about-"

"-break into the floo department-"

"-a portkey might not be such a bad idea-"

"-of course he'll have his school trunk though-"

"-a few memory charms-"

"-no, alright, what if we-"

"-disguise the garden gnomes!"

"-never mind, forget that, how about-"

"Flying!" came a sudden voice over the rest of them.

The voice was just loud enough for everyone to fall silent and turn to the speaker.

Remus Lupin was quite composed but his eyes were alight with an eager and excited spark.

"Flying." He said again, though much more quietly. "Flying wouldn't break any legal laws. Harry has a broomstick, and I've seen him play quidditch before, he's as good as-" he stopped short looking as if he were on the verge of saying a certain name.

"James." Sirius finished for him softly.

Remus turned to his dark haired friend. "Yes."

There was a short silence as everyone watched them till Moody broke it with a loud noise of disgust.

"It doesn't matter how well the boy can fly!" he growled. "With broomsticks we run a much higher chance of being seen by muggles! And we make for an easier target if we were attacked."

"And breaking into the Ministry and illegally taking over one of the main floo grates seems safer?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

Dedalus pinkened. "Well it was just an idea."

"Personally," said a cold and terribly familiar voice from the corner. "I would not be concerned so much with Potter's flying ability but rather is known inability to follow basic authority."

Tonks felt the tension in the room rise dramatically as Snape's and Sirius's eyes locked in a cold, steely challenge.

"Harry's not a prat." Sirius growled. "He'll know that the Order is there to protect him and get him out of there."

"Potter has always been known to pull certain…theatrics in dangerous times." Snape sneered.

"He's done no such thing!" Sirius said loudly.

Snape opened his mouth to reply but Dumbledore cut them off.

"I'm sure Harry will understand the current situation Severus." He said calmly but there was a note of resolution in his voice that settled the argument. "Yes, Harry is known for not shying away from danger but in cases such as these I am sure he will understand the circumstances."

Snape and Sirius were eyeing each other with utmost loathing from across the room but seemed resolved to drop the argument for the time being.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "So now all that remains to us, perhaps we ought to have figured this out first…is how we are going to deal with Harry's muggle relatives. It would be best if they were out of the way at the time so that the operation can move without delay."

"Kidnap them." Moody immediately suggested.

Tonks rolled her eyes.

"And preferably a non hostile method, Alastor." Dumbledore said.

Tonks giggled quietly at the thought of Moody attacking Harry's relatives and clunking around trying to tie them up like hostages.

Moody whipped around at the sound of her laugh. "And what," he spat. "Is so amusing?"

"Nothing." Tonks said nervously as all eyes fell upon her.

"Why don't you try coming up with an idea then?" he challenged her.

Tonks glared at him not threatened by the challenge, but instead just plain infuriated.

"A letter." She said suddenly, the first thing that came to mind. "We can ask them to leave the house in a letter."

"'Ask them to leave the house in a letter?'" Moody repeated, sounding thoroughly disgusted.

"Yes." Tonks said quickly before he could come up with some snarky comment about it. "We invite them to go somewhere. Like a competition that they've won and they have to go collect a prize."

She had no idea where it had come from but it sounded not half bad. As the seconds lengthened, she felt more and more confident about it.

"It'd have to be one hell of a prize." Bill smiled.

"I'll write it!" she said cheerfully. She was feeling very confident about it now, a flow of numerous possibilities jumping in her brain of how to lure Harry's relatives away from the house. "I mean, if that's okay of course." She said hastily, looking up at Dumbledore.

He inclined his head politely. "I feel that it's a very good idea. I suggest you get to work on it quickly Miss Tonks."

"Absobloodylutely!" she said happily.

Some of the older members looked startled and Professor McGonagall actually closed her eyes and pursed her lips. Only Dumbledore seemed to be sincerely amused by her outburst.

"Right. Now that that's all settled. Miss. Tonks will work on the letter and the guard will come up with a safety system to fall back on before the tenth of August." Dumbledore said briskly.

Remus Lupin suddenly put up his hand. "If we go on the tenth, I won't be able to be a part of the guard."

"Ah." Dumbledore said slowly, looking seriously at Remus from over his half-moon spectacles. "That's right. I almost forgot."

Tonks stared curiously at Remus as he waited for Dumbledore's answer.

"We could move it up a day or two." Emmeline said. "Unless something happens and we have to get him out faster."

"I don't want the plan to change accommodations just for my sake." Remus said mildly.

"Harry needs a familiar face in the guard that he knows he could trust, Remus." Dumbledore said firmly. "Since it would be too risky for Sirius-"

Tonks wondered if anybody else had noticed her cousin stiffen at the headmaster's words as if he had been dealt a physical blow. Tonks turned to look at Snape who was still watching Sirius, and at Dumbledore's words, his lip curled into an unpleasant smile.

"-you would be the most logical choice." Dumbledore finished. "We'll move the date up to fifth of August then."

"Perfect." said Remus. "Is that alright with everybody?"

There was a general consensus of nodding and murmured agreement from the others.

"Then in that case I think this finally concludes the meeting, Alastor, I'm leaving you in charge of the details for Harry's operation."

"Fine with me, Albus."

Dumbledore smiled. "Then the meeting is over, the next one will be next Thursday for those that can make it, and I hope that most of you will be able to stay tonight for the fine dinner that Molly has cooked for us."

Everyone stood up, talking amongst themselves as they started to head out of the room. Tonks noticed Sirius stand up with a dark frown on his face and crossed the room quickly to get to Dumbledore. He started talking to him in a lowered voice and Tonks felt that she ought to stop staring and go join the rest of the Order that was well on its way to the kitchen.

But before she taken just a few mere steps from the room, she was cornered by her scowling former potions master.

"So-" he said coldly. "Moved onto bigger and better things then?"

Tonks set her jaw. "I'm honoured to be working for the Order."

Snape's thin mouth twisted into a small smile before he continued on in an almost amused voice, "So what will you be doing for the Order? Obviously not tracking, I recall you as a student stomping down the hallways. You'd be caught within seconds…and you have a hot-headed temper like your cousin, so no undercover work for you, hmm. Not much for you to do, is there? Unless there is some impressive talent- ah, dueling perhaps? Oh, but no- I recall that you weren't anything extraordinary when it came to that."

Tonks stared at him too stunned by the venom of his attack to come up with a good response.

"Oh that's right- you have that 'special' ability." Snape said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "A metamorphous…"

Suddenly a familiar voice came from Tonks's side. "Nymphadora's abilities will be very helpful to the Order." Remus said firmly. "Her condition is a useful one indeed."

"As useful as yours, Lupin?" Snape sneered. "My, you two have a lot in common."

With a final look of contempt at them both he strode out of the room leaving her hurt, confused and angry. She looked at Remus who suddenly looked very tired, and very, very old.

"Thanks." She said.

He shook his head. "Snape still holds very little amicable feelings towards me or Sirius, and I'm sure that being his cousin you too will suffer the old grudge."

"He hated me when I was at school though too." Tonks admitted. "In my first year I left a bottle of shampoo on his desk and he somehow knew it was me. He didn't forget about it either or let me forget it for the next six years."

Remus looked startled and then burst out laughing. She grinned but then remembered her cousin's reaction during and after the meeting.

"Is Sirius alright?"

Remus's smile waned a bit as he looked at her closely. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "He seemed a little angry after the meeting when he was talking to Dumbledore."

"Yes…Sirius wanted to be able to go and pick up Harry with the rest of the guard."

"Oh…" Tonks said slowly. Suspicious thoughts began to creep into the back of her mind. Perhaps Sirius was unhinged or worse, perhaps he was even-

"Sirius is Harry's godfather." Remus said.

Her eyes widened in shock. "I never knew that."

Remus nodded. "He is."

But before she could say anything again, she was cut off by an all too familiar voice-

"Nymphadora,"

It would have been impossible to forget that stern, brisk voice. Repressing a groan, she turned to see her old stern-faced Transfiguration teacher standing there.

"Hullo Professor." she said, cringing at the use of her first name. "I don't suppose you could just call me 'Tonks' now that I'm out of school, could you?"

Did that woman EVER smile? McGonagall gave her a rather cold eye before continuing on.

"It is a pleasure to have you working with us." She said crisply. "A few people want to meet you in the kitchen before they leave and so I think it is best if you came along."

She felt like she was being dragged around like a showdoll. She smiled though and said cheerfully, "Of course, yeah."

She looked back apologetically at Remus who smiled gently and followed her and McGongall down to the kitchen.

It was a cold, dismal place. With the rough-hewn stone walls and the simple wooden table, it wasn't exactly party material. And yet it obviously was supposed to be a party, most likely for her arrival into the Order.

Several members of the Order came up to talk to her during the dinner. She was treated a bit like a novelty for being so young in the Order and for being a Metamorphous. She received several requests to change her appearance and many were sincerely interested in her work at the Ministry with her being an auror that spent most of her time on the front lines.

At the end of the dinner, Dumbledore talked to her briefly before heading out himself, "It is wonderful to have you working with us Nymphadora."

"Thanks." Tonks said, "And, er- headmaster, not to sound rude or anything but my name-"

"Ah yes," he said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Forgive me, my memory seems to be failing terribly in recent years when it comes to concerning my former students. Tonks, yes."

Tonks grinned. "I have to work on getting everybody else to remember it now."

He smiled. "I have absolute faith in you. Good night Tonks."

"Good night Headmaster, oh and-"

He turned back to look at her.

"Thanks." She said. "For everything. For letting me join, I mean. It's a real honour."

He inclined his head politely. "The honour is mine, Miss Tonks."

And with a warm smile and a swish of his cloak he had left the room.

She looked around. Quite a few members had left. She wandered about aimlessly listening in on several conversations before she spied Sirius and Remus Lupin standing a little ways away from everyone else talking between themselves. She edged over cautiously to hear what they were saying. Remus Lupin was talking quietly in his hoarse voice,

"-I don't care what you say Padfoot, you can't poison Snape. Everyone will know it was-"

SMASH. Tonks out of shock dropped her glass which hit the stone floor and shattered into a million pieces.

Both men turned abruptly to face Tonks.

"Reparo." Sirius said lazily and the broken pieces flew together again. The kitchen which had instantly become silent began to slowly fill with cheerful babble again, seeing as everything was alright.

"What did you call him?" Tonks asked Remus curiously.

The two men glanced at each other and exchanged a knowing look.

"Why did you call Sirius, 'Padfoot'? I didn't mean to overhear, but I did."

"It's a nickname." said Remus slowly.

Tonks stared at Sirius. "Your nickname is Padfoot?" she asked, feeling quite shocked by what she was hearing.

Sirius nodded.

"No way." Tonks said weakly. "No bloody way."

"What's wrong?"

"You and your friends wrote comments all over the pages of my old charms book."

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked.

"No, you are." she grinned.

"Huh. Cheeky. Already joining the punning party I see…" Sirius grumbled. "Well it sounds like you got a hold of Remus's old textbook!"

Tonks looked over at Remus. "You were Mr. Moony?" she asked incredulously.

Remus gave a wry smile. "Is it that hard to believe?"

Tonks blushed. "Well…no, I suppose not-I mean- you just don't seem the type, judging from- well, maybe you are…er-"

Remus smiled kindly

Sirius didn't notice this. "Yes, Moony was Remus's nickname, James was Prongs and Peter-" his face darkened. "-was Wormtail."

"This is really freaky." Tonks said to Remus. "I had your old textbook."

"Yes, it certainly is." Remus agreed. "What year did you graduate then?"

"'91." Tonks replied. She quickly did the math in her head. _Oh…_she thought as she worked out the age gap between herself and Remus. _If Remus was in the same year as Sirius…thirteen, maybe even fourteen years_. Remus interestingly enough seemed to be thinking the same exact thing, judging from the slight frown on his prematurely lined face.

"What did we write in the book?" Sirius asked eagerly, completely ignoring the direction the conversation had been taking.

"Oh you know…silly stuff. I laughed outright sometimes in Flitwick's class while reading it and got usually got in trouble for not paying attention." Tonks thought back to picking up the spare book from the extra supplies closet that day, years ago. She had lost her own textbook to the giant squid in the lake when her sworn enemy at school, Victoria Penrose had gotten a hold of it and flushed it down a toilet. Tonks saw the book in her mind, the stained and cracked spine, the damaged cover, the first page…

"On the first page it read: 'Moony, I'm bored. Mr. Padfoot is wondering why even came to class today.'" Tonks said.

"And what did he write back?" Sirius grinned.

"'Stop writing in my books jackass, I can't afford a new one.'" Tonks recited.

Sirius let out a loud, barklike laugh, Remus looked embarrassed.

"I still don't understand why my book became your personal graffiti canvas. I remember telling you three countless times to stop." Said Remus

"Yeah well James and I never brought our books to class." Sirius said proudly as if his schoolboy disobedience was a badge of honour.

"And Peter always forgot his." Remus sighed.

"Really, it was the only logical choice. We didn't write in there all the time, just whenever we were supposed to be taking notes."

Remus let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm amazed you passed the class."

"You'd have to be an idiot not to pass it." Sirius yawned. "That class was dreadfully easy."

"Was any class not easy for you, Sirius?" Remus asked with a faint smile.

"Yes. History of magic. It was a terrible struggle to keep my eyes open. As a matter of fact- I failed most times."

Tonks laughed. "So are we poisoning Snape?" she joked.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Would you be interested?"

"Most defiantly." She grinned.

"Stop it." Remus said in exasperation more to Sirius then her. "We're not going to poison him."

Sirius made a derisive bark of laughter. "Oh come'on Remus. Lighten up. It's a just a laugh."

"I can't say I entirely believe you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your problem then, not mine."

"Saying that we're going to poison fellow members of the Order is hardly an example of all the things we stand and fight for."

Sirius muttered something under his breath that sounded very much like, 'He'd deserve it' as Remus shot her an apologetic look.

"Oh, Tonks dear!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, bustling over dragging her oldest son over again. It took Tonks all of her willpower not to start laughing at the sight of Bill's face. "Bill was just on his way out and but is coming over to say goodbye."

She all but threw Bill at her before backing off to stand by Remus and Sirius.

"Er, bye?" Tonks grinned.

Bill looked slightly exasperated. "Bye Tonks." And lowering his voice so that his mother or anyone else wouldn't hear he added, "Sorry about this."

"I dunno why you just don't tell her you're already seeing Fanny." She hissed.

"Fleur."

"Whatever."

"Alright," Bill said loudly. "I'll see you soon." He turned back to Mrs. Weasley who was beaming at them both. "Bye Mum."

"Goodnight Bill dear." She said going over to him and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Take care."

Bill left and Mrs. Weasley turned back to her with a huge smile. Tonks bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Well, wasn't that nice that you two got to see each other again?"

"Oh yes." Tonks said. "It sounds like Bill is doing great back here in England."

"I always thought Egypt wasn't very practical. He was too far from home really." Mrs. Weasley said, leading her away from Sirius and Remus and back over to some more of the other Order members again. "But now he's back and although he's in the Order he has a nice, practical job working at Gringotts where he'll at least be able to-"

Tonks inevitably lost focus of the conversation as Mrs. Weasley talked on about Bill. To her relief, Mr. Weasley came over with a few other Order members who hadn't gotten to talk to her yet and wanted to see for real if she truly was a Metamorphous.

Eventually as the evening dragged on, Tonks found herself standing alone by the dresser feeling very out of place and very awkward. She was the youngest one there, one of the few women and she felt she was way out of her league standing next to such experienced and prestigious witches and wizards.

_Why the hell did I even join? _She wondered miserably.

Suddenly there was a gentle voice beside her. "How did you enjoy your first meeting?"

She turned to see Remus Lupin standing there holding a glass of wine. He still looked rather pale and tired but he was smiling kindly at her.

She tried to smile. "Well, I'm starting to regret that I got drunk in front of Kingsley at the office party and started blabbing about what I really thought of the Ministry."

He laughed at that. He really did have a very nice laugh. Like Sirius, it sounded as if he didn't do it often enough. "I felt the first way myself when I joined the first time around. I was more or less your age at the time. Of course, most of the Order members from the first time around were very young at that time too."

"Kinglsey told me that. He heard that from Mad-Eye."

Remus nodded. "It was just as dangerous then as it is now, but on the bright side, we're much more prepared."

She wasn't entirely sure what to say to that so she just nodded in reply.

"What are you going to write in that letter?" he asked her.

"I dunno. I'm thinking about it though. I'm trying to figure out what would be enough to lure them away for awhile."

"From what I've heard, their very tidy."

"Tidy…" Tonks frowned. "Bugger. I lived with my father who is a right old slob. He worked as an auto mechanic."

"Perhaps you could ask Arabella or Mundungus about the place. They've seen it the most since they've been assigned to guarding the place the most these days."

She looked at him curiously. "You've met Harry before, right? That's the impression I got anyway."

"Yes. I have."

"What's he like?"

He looked surprised. "Well," he said slowly. "He's a very brave young man. Most people don't give him enough credit for that it I think, and he really has done some amazing feats for his age."

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "Dunno really. Just wondering. I mean, he's fifteen or so now, right?"

"He turns fifteen on the 31st." Remus said.

"Right. So he's a teenage boy. He's not that old and yet he's done more stuff than some witches or wizards will ever do in their lifetime."

He looked surprised by her modest observation. "Yes. That's true."

"I wonder if people forget sometimes that he is just a teenage boy. I mean, obviously he's an incredible wizard but he's also a hormonal adolescent."

Remus's lips turned into a faint smile. "You're right."

She sighed and turned her attention back to her drink. "I mean I still remember what it was like at fifteen and I'm sure you do too. It's a totally wretched time."

"It is."

"Hmph." She snorted. "And now with the Ministry treating him like some sort of stand-in-joke these days…I knew the kid had to be decent."

"Well you'll have the chance to meet him yourself on the fifth."

She grinned. "Oh good. I can't wait."

He took a sip of his wine, surveying her thoughtfully, a slight frown on his face.

"A knut for your thoughts." She said cheerfully.

"It's nothing."

"No! Tell me! What were you thinking?"

Remus looked at her a little longer before saying, "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

The serious tone did not go unnoticed by her. "Alright." She said slowly.

"You'd be helping the Order if you did this- though no one else has volunteered to do it."

Tonks set her jaw but was could feel butterflies taking nervous flight again in her stomach. If NONE of the other Order members would want to do it- why ask her?

Remus glanced across the room where Sirius was talking to Kingsley and Sturgis. "It's about Sirius." He said quietly.

Tonks stared at him blankly. "Sirius?"

Remus nodded. "I'm very worried about him. Thirteen years in Azkaban may have unhinged him but I'm afraid that keeping him a prisoner in this house is doing a lot more damage."

Tonks waited for an explanation.

Remus sighed. "Everyone here in the Order knows of his innocence now, but unfortunately- until Voldemort comes out in the open and we have a chance to catch Peter and prove Sirius's innocence- he has been ordered by Dumbledore to remain here at Grimmauld Place. It's been killing him. He was on the run before and as strange as it sounds- he was happy then. I've known Sirius for many years, ever since we were at school together and he has always been a risk-taking, adventurous man. Keeping a person with those traits locked up for their own safety can do a lot more to their morale than any other weapon used against them. Moreover, of all places to keep him- he's being forced to stay in a place that he has loathed for as long as he could remember. In some ways it's almost worse than Azkaban- because being locked up here where all those bad memories he had, physically took place at one time- well…you understand what I'm saying, don't you?"

Tonks nodded, she was finally starting to understand the complex personality behind her cousin's unreadable exterior.

"My point is-" Remus said. "I haven't seen him this happy in weeks. He seems to have taken a liking to you- Perhaps if you could come by the house every so often when your not on duty or working…of course I understand your very busy with everything else and you have a social life outside of the-"

"No! I'd love to see more of him. It's only right after all this time that we start seeing each other more."

Remus beamed at her. "Thank you."

The odd jelly feeling in her legs returned accompanied now by a small warm tingling through her limbs that left her a little light-headed. Or maybe she had just had to much to drink. That had to be it. "Yeah…" she said. "Sure thing." She glanced over at her cousin who had just left Kingsley and Sturgis to go and fill up his glass of wine again. "I think I'm going to head out soon though tonight. I have work really early tomorrow."

"Of course."

"It was really nice meeting you." She said honestly.

"Likewise. It was a pleasure." Remus said, inclining his head to her.

She gave him a quick smile before leaving him to go over to her cousin who was pouring so much wine into his cup, it was nearly overflowing.

A pleasure? Dear god he was old-fashioned. Very nice man though. She attempted to shake off the weird tingling and unsteady legs by the time she reached Sirius.

"Ah, Nympha-"

She gave her cousin a threatening glare.

"-Tonks." He finished. "Sorry about that. How do you like the meeting?"

"It's not so bad." She said. "Could use a bit more music though and perhaps some dancing."

He grinned. "I can't imagine half the members here dancing."

"I can, but it's not a pretty sight. I'm having painful visions of Mad-Eye doing disco."

Sirius snorted. "Does he know how cheeky you are behind his back?"

"A pretty good idea, yeah."

"And yet you're still in one piece?"

"That's because he's madly in love with me. Shh! Don't tell." Tonks said sarcastically.

Sirius let out a barklike laugh and took an enormous sip of his wine. "Saw you talking to Remus over there, hope he didn't bore you out of your mind."

"No, not at all. He was really quite nice."

"In a nice, boring, Mr. Moony way."

"He just seemed really tired though."

"Well he should- full moon was just a few days ago." Sirius said dryly as he drained his wine glass. He looked up to see the horrified look on Tonks's face and groaned. "Oh bollocks, pretend I did not just say that, will you?"

Tonks was stunned. She wasn't stupid- she was bright enough to fit it all together. She remembered him at the meeting putting up his hand saying how he wouldn't be able to be apart of the guard that night. The nickname, for godsakes…"Is Remus, a…a…?"

"I did not just say anything." Sirius said filling his glass again.

Tonks looked across the room where Remus was conversing with Elphias Doge and Mr. Weasley now, looking deep in thought and nodding at Mr. Weasley's words. He looked so…

Normal.

Tonks felt guilty for thinking so, but it was true. She worked at the Ministry- she had seen werewolves before, arrested one actually and had to bring one to custody, but most of them were a bit-

Wild looking. Estranged from society, acting more like animals in human form than their actual human selves.

And Remus Lupin, he was quiet, serious, and thoughtful and moreover a very kind man- he had saved her from Snape, cared about his friends, he was respectful to her and he had a very nice laugh- well…it just didn't seem to fit.

She wondered for a half second if Sirius had been pulling her leg, but his reaction was too sincere to doubt otherwise.

Remus seemed to feel her eyes on the back of his head. He turned and when he saw her watching him, gave her a hesitant smile. Slowly, she smiled back.

And she realized something.

That it didn't matter.

A werewolf…but a nice, sweet one…with a very kind personality, if not slightly old-fashioned and with a fine piece of arse-

Tonks stopped her thoughts short wondering where that last bit had come from and shook her head wondering if she was going mad.

It didn't matter he was a werewolf- he was good man. She knew it probably sounded corny, but she had been raised by her mother who had always told her to look beneath the surface of people to see what they were really like before judging them. Besides, he hadn't labeled her for being a freaky metamorphous girl that could grow weird noses and so she certainly would not judge him for having a condition that he most likely had no control over. She would get to know him better in the weeks to come before coming up with a true opinion of what he was like.

She sipped her own glass of wine and smiled to herself. As far as her first Order meeting had went- it was a very eventful and interesting one indeed.

* * *

_Authors note: Damn this chapter was LONG! I'm sorry. I hated writing this chapter if you want to know the truth. But it was necessary. Now you know the Order and the members. Duh. No more explanations and crap and the timeline is established. And of course Remus and Tonks had to meet! Still though…v. v. long! Don't worry. The rest are nowhere near as long and their much more entertaining. _


	2. The Hunters and the Hunted

**Chapter Two-The Hunters and the Hunted**

"I suppose I'll be on my own then." Remus Lupin sighed as he pushed his graying hair out of his eyes.

Sirius was building a house of cards out of the Weasley twin's deck of Exploding Snap. Ever since the Weasley family recently moved into #12 Grimmauld Place, things had been much livelier. "I'm sure someone is free Moony." he said as he added another card to the house.

"I've asked around already, everyone is already paired up for another mission or is too busy with other work."

"What about Kingsley?" Sirius suggested. "Isn't he off this weekend?"

"Yes, but it's because he's been falling behind at work since he's been juggling the whole Order business. He told me he has to catch up or Scrimgeour's going to get suspicious."

Sirius placed the last card on the house before it blew up in his face. Blinking the soot out of his eyes he said in a restless sort of way, "Well there has to be someone who can go with you. You can't track Oedipus Moore all by yourself."

Oedipus Moore was an extremely powerful and wealthy wizard. His pureblood family in the past had had important secret ties to dark wizards. The Moore family gave money in exchange for protection and positions at the Ministry. The Order had gathered barely enough knowledge to suspect that Oedipus himself was carrying on family tradition and was passing off family gold to some probable Death Eaters. Now it was getting imperative to discover if he was in league with them or not and Remus felt privately honoured that Dumbledore had appointed him to such an important task.

Unfortunately because of the dangers it might involve it was strongly advisable when tracking to travel in pairs. Remus had no one at this point to go with him and had no idea how he could possibly face Dumbledore and tell him the disappointing news.

"What about Dedalus Diggle?" asked Sirius.

"I've already asked him. He's taking up Hestia Jones's place for Emmeline's mission. She's got a bad case of Sniftinwaffle."

"What about Arthur?"

"He's going to track Nott that night with Mad-Eye."

"Poor Arthur." Sirius said with a bitter smile. "Well…" he thought for a moment with a rather sour look on his face. Remus knew just how much Sirius was dying to get involved and get outside the house but couldn't. He suspected he was the only one who did know how badly his friend was suffering in this gloomy house.

"It's fine. I'll think of someone eventually." Remus said hurriedly.

"What about Tonks?" Sirius asked in an irritated voice. "My cousin…"

"Oh…Nymphadora was it? I completely forgot about her." He confessed.

Sirius put his feet up on the nearest table. It gave a shrill squeak of protest and he kicked it back angrily. "I don't think she's on duty this week, and she's not busy or sick. She's really nice too-I've been talking to her a lot recently. She stops by the house a lot these days when she's not working or anything."

Remus felt a swell of admiration for Tonks. So she had taken his advice after all, and from the sounds of it she was doing well to cheer up her bitter, restless cousin whom she had thought until only recently was an insane, merciless, mass-homicidal maniac…

"Do you know if she's stopping by tonight?" he asked Sirius.

"No, but she might be here tomorrow. Do you want me to ask her about the mission?"

"That would be a great help." Remus said as he picked up his large pile of papers. He was only halfway through them and they were due very soon. "Bloody anti-werewolf legislation." He muttered angrily.

"Moony if I were you, I'd just put a check in the 'yes' box for everything. It would make life a lot easier."

"Thank god you are not a werewolf then, they'd have locked you away if you did. All of these papers are carefully examined and reviewed…they are hardly a laughing matter."

"What do you mean if you don't pass they immunize you and put you to sleep if you don't pass?" Sirius grinned.

"Probably." Remus said with a wry smile. "No, they review them to see if I'm still eligible for proper citizenship by taking into account my past record and current behavior."

"Proper citizenship." Sirius snorted. "The law doesn't give werewolves proper citizenship to begin with."

"I know."

Sirius grabbed some of the many papers from the pile and starting reading them. Within seconds, his brow furrowed as he asked incredulously, "What the hell kind of a question is this?"

"Which one is it?" Remus asked warily.

"'Do you have an unsatisfying lust for human blood in your transformed state?'" Sirius read out loud. "Of course you do! You lose your human mind as a werewolf! You turn into a murderous beast that hunts humans! These stupid, sodding-" and he began cussing out the anti-werewolf legislation so badly that if Molly Weasley had heard would have resulted in him having his mouth scrounged out with soap.

"And what the hell is this one?" Sirius asked as his eyes caught another. "'When was the last time you felt the compulsion and desire to lick another animal?'" he looked up over the large stack of papers at Remus. "Moony," he said in a deadly serious voice, "When was the last time you wanted to lick me?"

"I've never wanted to lick you; I've always found owls more attractive." Remus said sarcastically. "Wait until you read the 'Personal Questions'."

"There's a personal question page in here?" said Sirius as he began rifting through the papers.

"A few pages. I believe that it starts on page 58."

Sirius found the page after searching around abit and found it. His eyes widened in disgust. "This is obscene!" he said loudly. "I'd take this to court!"

"I couldn't even if I wanted to. We 'dangerous half-breeds' don't have rights to begin with." Remus said darkly, feeling very bitter over the whole thing.

"I'm sorry mate."

"I really do hate them." Remus spat. Sirius watched him with interest. It took a lot to get him angry and he supposed that for people watching him, it was interesting to observe. "As if it weren't hard enough with all the transformations and the prejudice, now we have to fill out this worthless, draining report."

"I agree with you, it's totally unfair."

"Unfair!" Remus exclaimed and stood up abruptly- the neatly organized papers spilling to his feet. Sirius looked startled. "It's horrible! No one more then I believes that werewolves should be registered to protect others, but this!" he indicated to the pile of papers. "I've never been able to get a job after this came out a few years ago. Not decent jobs either mind you, just a job. Every few years I have to fill out all these stupid files all over again and I have to be ready to present them to my employer when they hire me. Isn't the knowledge that I'm a werewolf and I have to provide a legal record and identification enough?"

"Remus?" came a concerned voice from the doorway. Remus turned around to see Molly Weasley wearing a flowery apron, cautiously. She was looking at him apprehensively, a concerned look on her face. "I'm sorry to bother you dear, but Mad-Eye's just arrived downstairs and he wants a word with you."

"Oh. Right…of course. I'll be right down Molly." Remus said, trying to compose himself again.

Mrs. Weasley glanced about the room as if trying to see if they were up to something while Sirius glared at her in a defiant sort of way. Unable to find anything to scold them about she shut the door and left.

Sirius picked up one of Remus's papers that had fallen to the floor and held it up. "I say we burn it in protest."

Remus smiled. "We can't do that Padfoot."

Sirius looked disappointed.

"I'd better go talk to Mad-Eye." Remus said as he headed towards the door.

"Oh…well, be careful." Sirius said airily.

"I will." said Remus, his hand on the knob when suddenly there was roar of rage from downstairs and the portraits in the hall all began to shout.

Remus turned to face Sirius who was starting to build another house of cards again with an innocent expression on his face. "What did you do now Padfoot?" he sighed.

Sirius looked up, pretending to be shocked. "What are you talking about?"

Mad-Eye Moody's yells of rage could be heard thundering up the stairs as Sirius's mother began shrieking her usual insults.

Sirius cocked his ear towards the door, listening for a moment. "It sounds like someone picked up that bronze vase…you know, the one that Mad-Eye's likes to check most of the time for 'unnoticed foes'?"

"And is that bronze vase jinxed, perhaps?" Remus asked. There were now noises from downstairs: successions of small explosions and from under the doorway were flashes of scarlet light. "A Gryffindor noisemaker jinx, like the one we created and used on Filch in our 4th year?"

Sirius leaned back in his armchair and grinned slyly up at his friend. "It might be."

Remus shook his head but could not stop the smile from spreading across his face.

* * *

He had managed to get in touch with Nymphadora Tonks. To his relief she was available and seemed rather enthusiastic. From what he had observed she was putting a lot of heart and soul into the Order these days but still always found the time to give him a cheery 'Wotcher' whenever they briefly passed eachother. He spent the next few tedious days with a moody Sirius at Grimmauld Place, and managed to drop off his papers for the werewolf registry in enough time so that when Friday rolled around- he had plenty of time to meet Tonks at Diagon Alley that night. They had agreed to meet in front of Gringotts where Dumbledore had told Remus Oedipus would be.

He was walking to Diagon Alley by way of Muggle London. He could have apparted of course but he needed to think for a little while and reflect upon a few things. Oedipus Moore was in polite terms a sneaky git. He was too good at not being caught. He would most likely leave Gringotts with the Death Eater money-(if he truly was giving them money, Remus reminded himself) and take enormous precautions to make sure he wasn't being followed. Being from a well-to-do family however could give him some difficulty if he was trying to avoid drawing attention. As Remus stood there in the light drizzle, at a corner light in Soho, waiting for it to change he hoped that Tonks was a good tracker since experienced and careful tracking would be essential for this type of mission. Of course she was an auror so she must have had to do relatively well-

"Hey!" came a brusque and unfamiliar voice from behind, interrupting his thoughts.

Remus turned quickly to see a young, tattooed man wearing more leather and chains then an escaped lunatic from an asylum. He looked like the type of person Sirius back in the day would have bought a drink for at a bar after beating the shit out of him earlier.

The boy waved a grimy take-away menu in front of him. "Do you know where this place is?"

"What place?"

"Chinese grub man! Lee Ho Fooks!"

Remus shook his head. "Never heard of it. Sorry."

"Aw shit." He grumbled. "I would murder for some beef chow mein."

Remus didn't doubt it. The young man looked positively criminal.

"Come'on Michel!" yelled another man from across the street. Remus saw some of the man's friends, all similarly garbed waiting for him across the walkway.

"Shit." The boy grumbled and walked off without a goodbye or thank you.

Remus rolled his eyes and continued walking inwardly thanking the lucky stars that Harry hadn't turned out like that. He could have turned out to be slightly mad like Sirius, but luckily he had turned out to be a very decent boy. He wasn't as conceited as James had been at that age, but he did have an enormous disregard for the rules that would have made Lily cringe. He smiled sadly as he thought of what his two long dead friends would have to say now if they could see their son.

Upon reaching Gringotts, Remus immediately settled down on the steps and unfolded a paper that he pretended to read as he periodically checked his watch. Tonks would be there any minute hopefully-

The doors of Gringotts swung open and Remus looked up hopefully expecting to see Tonks or even perhaps Oedipus Moore himself, but to his disappointment it was neither, only a young blonde-haired women walking cautiously down the marble steps.

To his utter astonishment the blonde-haired women turned and made a bee-line straight for him as she walked down the stairs of Gringotts.

"Wotcher, Remus." She said quietly as she approached him.

"Tonks?!?!" he said incredulously as he stood up.

"Ah! Monsieur, it 'as been too long!" she said loudly in a flawless French accent as she threw her arms around him. Remus was startled, and nearly fell over from the the sudden imbalance. "Do you remember me? You probably do not! It 'as been a few months!"

Remus stared blankly at her as she winked, her bright blue eyes sparkling.

"You interviewed me at 'The Three Broomsticks' that time for a private interview you forgetful man! About my work after ze Triwizard Tournment!"

"Oh, right." Remus said, hoping Tonks knew what she was doing and that they had to stay close to Gringotts and certainly be keeping a watchful eye out for Oedipus Moore. "How are you these days, Miss-?"

"Very well, zank you." She said beaming as she quickly cut him off. Her small teeth were very white and straight. Then with a quick glance over her shoulder as she flicked back her long mane of blonde hair, she lowered her voice and dropped her French accent but still retaining an animated expression as she talked quietly to him. "I've been inside for the past half hour disguised as Fanny, French bon-bon so that I could get into Gringotts and talk to Bill. He's going to kill me later, but he told me he hadn't seen Oedipus all day until about 15 minutes ago when he personally appeared at Gringotts himself. Me and Bill watched him go with a few goblins down to the most secure vaults to make a withdrawal and he's about to come out within the minute."

"Brilliant." Remus said hoarsely.

"When he walks out, we can slowly start walking down the steps and pretend we're going to get a drink somewhere so we can talk."

"I'm thinking he'll probably try to throw off any would-be trackers but he won't go to any grimy or seedy place. People would notice such a prestigious figure. He's from a very well-to-do, pure-blood family-"

"He's actually distantly related to me." Tonks grumbled.

"-and although he doesn't know he's being tracked, he's not stupid and he doesn't want to draw attention to himself."

"Sounds logical. Keep a sharp eye then and I'll do the same."

"So how do we know eachother?" Remus asked with a nod to her disguise.

"Just as I said earlier. You interviewed me for an article or something after I finished the Triwizard Tournament."

"And yet we remain on a friendly baisis because?"

"Oh I dunno. I just needed to come over and talk to you." Tonks said with a smile. "Make something logical up, your Mum was French and so we had a lot in common as we smoked a few fags over some snail food or whatever."

Remus blinked. "Alright, that sounds plausible."

"Good because it's all I can think of at the-"

"There he is!" Remus hissed.

Tonks almost jerked her head around to stare over her shoulder but caught herself just in time and stopped, fixing her loose white blonde hair with her hand as if that was what she intended to do all along.

Remus had indeed seen the grey-haired Oedipus Moore walk out of Gringotts. He was carrying a midnight black sack in his hands, one that matched the same colour as his stately robes. He looked about quickly before he made his way quickly down the steps.

"Oh, oui monsieur! You are too kind!" Tonks exclaimed loudly, falling back into the French accent. "I would love to go for a drink."

Oedipus Moore barley glanced sideways at them both before continuing to descend the marble stairs.

"I know a good place just up the road." Remus said with casual ease as they slowly followed after him.

"Zat would be lovely." Tonks said. "So do tell me, 'ow is your muzzer these days? Did she enjoy her stay in Rouen?"

"Loved it. She's planning on going back next summer." Remus said, keeping an eye on Oedipus who was quickly making his way through the crowd. Remus frowned. He had not expected this. The wizard was all but running as he made his way through the crowd towards a certain direction.

"Go!" said Tonks. He didn't need telling twice. He picked up his pace as Tonks followed right behind him and started to track him as he took a sharp turn onto Knockturn Alley.

Tonks swore under her breath as they dove down the dark and sinister alley where the most suspicious and unnerving of wizards were lurking in the shadows, eyeing Remus and Tonks as they made their way down the windy road.

Oedipus looked over his shoulder and caught sight of them a good ways behind him. Before he or Tonks could do anything however to continue their innocent passerby façade he broke into a sprint and disappeared into a small crowd in the middle of the road.

"RUN!" Tonks hissed. "Run before we loose him!"

Remus ran forward through the crowded street, keeping his eye on the grey-haired wizard far ahead.

He narrowly dodged a man wheeling a side cart of various bottled potions and ran ahead.

Within seconds, a deafening loud crash came from behind him and he knew before even turning around that Tonks had not been so graceful in avoiding it.

The cart had completely overturned and some of the green jars had smashed to the ground spilling most of the odd coloured and foul smelling potions all over the road. Tonks was sprawled out on the ground, drenched in what looked like cat sick.

"Go!" she exclaimed. "Go find him! I'll catch up."

Remus turned and saw with a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that Oedipus Moore was nowhere to be seen on the crowded street. He looked around in vain but knew it was already too late.

He turned back to Tonks and helped her to her feet. "Doesn't matter now. He's long gone."

"Gone!" Tonks cried. "What? NO!"

She looked about desperately but when seeing he was completely right, her face fell.

"YOU STUPID, CLUMSY GIRL!" screamed a lean, unshaven man, the obvious owner of the cart who was now striding over to them. "YOU'VE BROKEN MY EFFECTS! YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Tonks said nervously as she dropped to the ground and attempted to pick up some of the broken bottles. A small crowd had gathered, talking and murmuring amongst themselves as they watched the scene before them.

"I'LL SUE YOU!" the man shouted, his face rapidly turning a dark purple.

"Is that really necessary?" Remus asked the man as he turned on him. "It was just an accident."

The man stuck out his jaw in a determined sort of way. "She broke 'em!"

"And I'm sure you'll agree that with your cart parked in the middle of the street like that- it was simply an accident waiting to happen."

Tonks looked at him in surprise, obviously startled from his cool firmness with the man.

"I have a right to put my cart wherever I pleases." The man leered.

"Then perhaps the side of the road would be a wiser choice for next time." He took Tonks's arm and started to pull her away but the man jumped in front of them with a laugh.

"You think you can get away so easily? I'll report you! That's broken property! Now pay up!"

Remus turned and stared at the man coldly for a moment before glancing over the man's shoulder at the broken cart. He stepped around the man and walked over to one of the smashed bottles and picked up a shard that was drenched in the odd, silver liquid. He examined it for a moment, turning the shard around on all sides.

"What're ya doing?" the man said suspiciously. "Pay up and get on your way before I have to get-"

Remus sniffed the silver liquid delicately and smiled, his suspicions confirmed. He looked at the man.

"What is this stuff?"

"None of your bloody business!"

"From the sign on your cart, it says your selling 'Re'em blood' he said, nudging the sign with his toe. But this-" he said holding up the liquid drenched shard. "This isn't Re'em blood at all."

The man paled. "Look'ee mate. You pay me up now and I won't report you."

"Won't report us?" Remus said, taking a few steps forward. "From the looks of it sir, it's us who should be reporting you." He lowered his voice. "It is illegal to sell homebrewed potions containing Ramora scales these days and I understand there are a few cells in Azakaban reserved for those that break that specific statue in the Class A Trading Restrictions."

The man recoiled as if Remus had physically hit him. "That's er- ah, very true. I mean…your right, it was just an accident- of course, I should get a move on- er-"

Remus went to Tonks's side and lead her away from the now shaken man.

"How on earth did you know that it contained Romora scales?" she asked as they pushed through the slowly disbanding crowd.

"There are advantages to knowing the Dark Arts and different creatures." Remus said darkly. "I may be horrible at making potions but I'm good at telling them apart."

"Thank you." Tonks said quietly.

He smiled. "Your welcome."

They walked abit further before Tonks grimly spoke up, "Moore is gone now and it's entirely my fault."

"Don't be ridiculous." He reassured her.

She shook her head looking miserable. "No. It is. You shouldn't have brought me along. I always botch everything up."

"You tripped. It couldn't be helped." Remus said kindly. Inwardly he was wondering just how disappointed Dumbledore would be about their failed mission but he was determined to comfort Tonks at present.

"Well its over now." Tonks said flatly as she hung her head. "I suppose we ought to go back and face the music then, huh?"

Remus scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, er- not right away if you wanted."

Tonks stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him in surprise.

"I mean-" Remus said hastily, attempting to get his intentions across perfectly clear. " Perhaps we could just walk around for awhile. We're both in the Order but I still feel that I don't know you too well. Maybe if you wanted to…just talk."

She grinned. "Alright. I could do with some 'talking'." She fell into step with Remus again. "So where to?"

Remus shrugged. "I'm not sure. Any suggestions?"

Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment. "How about we just walk around until we find someplace we want to go?"

"That sounds fine."

"So." She said cheerfully. "Let's talk."

Remus smiled. "About my French mother over a plate of snails?'

Tonks laughed. "I forgot about that." After looking about to make sure nobody was watching, she shut her eyes very tightly and a moment later she looked like the Tonks that Remus was familiar with, with the exception of a short spiky purple hair style. "Au revoir Fanny bon-bon." She smiled at Remus. "Bill really is going to kill me later though. He really thought I was his girlfriend for a moment until I corrected him with a friendly slap, but he played along relatively well."

Remus was glad he was going to get to have a relatively normal conversation for once. Recently it had all been Order work for him or comforting a moping Sirius and here was somebody who seemed nice to talk to and fortunately didn't know about his condition. Nymphadora Tonks seemed like a potential friend as well as an Order alley and so he hoped to put off the unhappy truth about his condition from her for as long as possible.

"So…" Tonks said as they rounded a rather deserted corner. She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment for a moment and glanced around to make sure no one was listening,

"So, you're a werewolf." she said bluntly.

Well so much for that. Remus felt his blood turn icy cold and felt the blood drain from his face as he stopped short to stare at her. Unexplainably, she was smiling kindly, if somewhat apprehensively.

"Yes." he said quietly. "I am."

She looked apologetic. "Sirius let it slip."

Remus made a personal note to go kill Sirius in a very long and uncomfortable way when he saw him next. "Well, yes. He is right."

Tonks wiggled about uncomfortably. "This may be really personal so you don't have to answer it if you don't want to - but…how did it happen? It's just…your so…" she trailed off looking helpless. "I mean, I know that sounds terrible doesn't it? Horribly prejudiced I bet… But I dunno, I've encountered only one or two werewolves before and they're just…so different from you."

Remus after filling out several days of paperwork for the Werewolf Registry had no desire to talk about werewolves at all but he was so touched by her sensitivity he found himself answering her. "I am different from most werewolves." He said. "I tried to live alongside wizards. It is difficult- but I try…" He frowned as he thought of the first part of her question. "I was bitten as a young child. I was reckless enough to wander in the local woods at night on a dare and the result…" he smiled humorlessly. "Well, it changed the rest of my life."

Tonks was watching intently him, listening closely to every word.

Remus began to slowly walk down the road, with Tonks by his side. "My parents didn't abandon me as some might have, and indeed many parents have done before with their bitten children-they raised me with all intention of keeping me involved with wizarding society as much as possible and Dumbledore who was the headmaster offered me a place at Hogwarts despite my condition, and so it was on his kindness and generosity that I was able to attend school like a normal student and within a few years graduate from Hogwarts."

"What about full moons?" she asked.

"Dumbledore had the Whomping Willow planted on the school grounds the year I came. The tree guarded a hidden tunnel that lead all the way to the Shrieking Shack at Hogsmeade and I transformed there."

"The Shrieking Shack?" Tonks exclaimed. "That's the most haunted building in Britian! What's in there? Did you see any ghosts?"

"Its…not haunted." Remus said slowly.

"Not haunted? But all the screams and noises…" she trailed off and her eyes widened as the realization hit her. "Merlin's beard. That was you ?!?"

Remus hesitated. "It's…painful to turn into a werewolf. Since I wasn't around any humans to bite I often bit and scratched myself instead."

Her hand went to her open mouth as she looked at him in horror. "Oh, Remus!" she exclaimed. "That's terrible! You were just a small boy and you-"

"I imagine that some of the rumors got very far-fetched." Remus said with a wry smile. "And I'm sure a good many of them were much more exciting than the truth."

"You by yourself! Oh my god, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Little boys should not be alone, screaming in pain and agony."

Remus gave her a reassuring smile. "It wasn't so bad. I had friends and there were many times where I temporarily forgot about my condition and felt like a normal student."

He knew from the look on her face that she didn't believe a word of it and a small part of him found that he was grateful for her understanding. So he had lied. It was better than having her think of him as a very depressed and lonely, woe-is-me, pitiable bloke. In truth he rarely forgot his condition. He had had many nightmares at school where he'd wake up in a cold sweat imagining he'd bitten someone. And in the beginning, the lies to his friends were too much for him to keep up and kept him feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Inside, he had always felt like an outsider, different from all the other students unless he was with his three friends who knew his secret and still accepted him for it.

Tonks's eyes were filled with doubt still, but she asked another question. "Dumbledore told me Sirius learnt how to become an illegal animagus when he was still at school and that's how he escaped Azkaban. Did that have anything to do with you being a werewolf?"

"Yes." Remus said. He felt Tonks deserved to hear the whole truth with Sirius being her cousin and him now telling the whole truth about his real identity. "Sirius, James and Peter discovered that if they were animagi they could accompany me in my werewolf state since a werewolf is only in danger to humans. They studied hard for a few years and in the end of our fifth year figured out how to do it. Sirius became the black dog I'm sure you knew about already. Peter I'm sure you also know was a rat, and James was a stag. We used to wander the school grounds at night going off on various adventures."

"Moony…" Tonks muttered. "Ah. It makes sense now. And Padfoot…"

"And Prongs and Wormtail." Remus added.

"Clever." Tonks chuckled.

"We liked to think so." Remus smiled.

"My biggest accomplishment to date as school was the time I passed McGonagall's transfiguration class. Forget turning myself into an animagus. It's hard enough to get around in my own skin." Tonks laughed.

She didn't mind. She didn't mind…well maybe she did, but she was still treating him like a normal human which was infinitely better than most people handled it. There were very few people that took his true identity with stride. And yet here was Nymphadora Tonks still walking beside him with a smile on her face.

"So that's why you couldn't make the Advance Guard on the day we originally had it." Tonks said. "Full moon in a few days."

"Yes." He expected her to say something else about it but to his surprise she said something totally different.

"We'll be getting Harry in a few days." She said cheerfully. "You said you've met him before so I bet you'll be happy to see him again.

"Very much." He admitted.

"Oh, by the way, you also said that you've seen Harry fly before. Does he play Quidditch then?"

"Seeker."

"What type of broom as he got then?"

"A Firebolt."

Her eyes widened with shock. "A FIREBOLT?!?!?" she repeated. "No bloody way!"

"It's true." Remus smiled.

"A REAL Firebolt?" she asked.

"Yes."

"How the hell did he get it?"

"Sirius."

That was obviously not the answer she had expected. "Sirius! Sirius Black? My cousin, Sirius?"

"Yes. That one." Remus said, amused by her reaction. "He got it for him as a birthday while he was still on the run."

"Harry got a Firebolt from Sirius?!?! No fair! I'm his cousin!"

"And I've been his friend for more than half my life. Don't talk to me about fair."

She looked at him suspiciously. "Are you serious about this? A real Firebolt?"

"If you don't believe me you'll get to see just for yourself when we pick Harry up."

"You bet I will." Tonks grinned. "So where to now? I think we should probably get out of Knockturn Alley as soon as possible."

"Well, perhaps we get a drink in Diagon Alley or something if you feel up to it?" he asked. "It's getting late and a lot of the stores are closing down."

"Good idea. Pub or someplace else?"

"I'll probably just get a tea wherever we go."

"Boringgg." Tonks sang. "Well I dunno about you, but I'm craving a strawberry smoothie right now, though I have no idea why."

"Well," said Remus slowly. "I have no idea where we could-"

"I know a place." Tonks said happily.

Remus followed her to a shop that seemed to sell every sort of drink available but was now mostly empty due to the lateness of hour. Tonks pleaded with him to buy something else besides tea but he was insistent. Tonks got her smoothie and they sat down together at a small table by the shops open window.

They casually talked for some time about their school days and even touched upon their childhoods when Tonks had a confession to make,

"I used to be a bit of a tomboy when I was younger. I used to hang out with the neighborhood boys and run around causing trouble. For the longest time I didn't like dolls unless it involved decapitating them or cutting their hair into weird styles. I loved my pet Puffskein though, his name was Harold."

"Our family had a few crups." Remus said reminiscently. "But then again there were always magical creatures running around the place. My mother was an obsessive animal lover too so that didn't help much. She taught me an awful lot about magical beasts…good and bad."

"How do you know so much about Dark Arts though?" Tonks asked curiously.

"That was my father. He was an Auror and taught me a lot on that subject because I was so interested in it."

"You'd make a good Auror."

Remus looked at his plate, embarrassed. "I don't think so, I'm not sure if I'd have the making of an auror."

"Making of an auror?" Tonks snorted. "What is that? You don't have to look like Mad-Eye at the beginning or the end to have the making of an auror. Besides, you're in the Order Remus! And look at me!" Tonks said brightly waving her arms about and knocking over her glass of water by accident. "Oops! Sorry."

Remus fixed it quickly with a flick of his wand.

"See? I'm dead clumsy, still a qualified Auror though."

Remus shrugged. "I considered it at first- but…well….it's complicated."

"Bollocks. You should have been an auror. You'd have been the only auror that could get a day off each month. It's bloody impossible to get time off these days, though I have no idea why since the Ministry is acting so daft, ignoring the comeback of You-Know-Who."

"Not just because I am a werewolf, there was something else that I wanted to do instead for a career."

"Oh? What was that?"

"I wanted to teach."

"Teach?" Tonks repeated, looking amazed. "You're a Professor?"

"Yes." He said modestly.

Tonks grinned… "Mr. Lupin…Professor Lupin…it has a nice ring to it…Professor…"

Remus smiled.

"So what made you want to teach over wanting to be an auror?" Tonks asked, playing with her straw.

Remus thought about this for a moment. Nobody had really asked him before. "I'm not sure." He admitted. "I just always had that passion to want to help others and I felt that I had the knack to teach. As much as I thought I might want to continue in my father's footsteps I realized that it wasn't the right path for me in the end."

"I think that you'd be a great teacher."

Remus raised an eyebrow at that, not sure if Tonks was doing what he thought she was. He looked at her closely, she was still playing with her straw absentmindedly but she had a sly smile on her face- not totally unlike Sirius's- and her dark eyes were twinkling.

Impossible. He was going delusional. Perhaps he was hitting an early mid-life crisis. He was not going to tell Sirius that he suspected his younger cousin of flirting with him. For one- Sirius might just die of laughter.

Tonks gasped suddenly and looked up towards the ceiling. "I LOVE THIS SONG!" she exclaimed.

Remus raised an eyebrow. In his personal opinion it sounded dreadful. Lots of guitar, wailing bagpipes, drums and singers screaming their lungs out. "The Weird Sisters?" he guessed.

She grinned and nodded, "-you caaaaaaan't try to leave me-!" she sang.

Remus smiled politely, never in his entire life had he encountered someone like Nymphadora Tonks before.

"I've seen them in concert." Tonks bragged. "It was bloody amazing!"

"I've never been to a concert of theirs."

"NEVER?!?!" Tonks exclaimed. "Have you ever been to see a band in concert?"

"I went to a Screaming Skulls Concert back in 1975."

"Oh my god." She snorted. "You and Sirius need to get out more- well, Sirius I can understand- he was in prison- but where were you?"  
Remus shrugged. "Getting by."

Tonks shook her head. "No excuse. I'm going to have to work on you. When Sirius is pronounced innocent, I'm going to work on him too."

"The Screaming Skulls were a classic band."

Tonks laughed. "They were so old school, although to be fair- the drummer… what was his name?"

"Charon Miller."

"Yeah, him- he was actually pretty hot under all that face makeup."

Remus smiled slyly at that. "I dunno. But, Seigfried Yan Wong Geminus was a great guitarist."

"Didn't he think he was a reincarnated Chinese fire-breathing moth, though? He used to wear those sequined tights…"

Remus winced. "I forgot about that- god, the 70's were a scary time. Still, look at your band- the Weird Sisters- one of them has a Mohawk now, doesn't he?"

"Merton Graves."

"There you have it- all musicians are a little strange."

"Mohawks do not even compare with that hairy man in bright yellow tights. I saw that picture when I was little and I was scarred for life."

"Then I suggest you go ask Sirius to find his Seigfried Geminus costume someday."

Tonks who was halfway through her strawberry smoothie, chocked and clutched her nose to stop it from coming out her nostrils.

"What?!?!" she gasped. "Sirius has a Seigfried Geminus costume?!?!"

"I'm sure he'll deny it." Remus laughed. "But I happen to have a picture somewhere from that costume party where he dressed as Segfried and went as him in yellow tights and all."

"Oh my god…" she shuddered. "That is so horribly disturbing…I have to see it."

"I will try to find it for you then." Remus said as he took a small sip of his tea.

"Brilliant." She grinned. "So tell me about-Oh no! Quick! Hide me!" she attempted to duck under the table before he could ask her what was wrong. Unfortunately her foot hit another nearby table and sent it falling over with a tremendous crash.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" came a loud, confident voice. Remus turned around in his seat to see a tall, muscular blonde haired wizard striding towards them.

"Hain." Tonks replied looking very disgruntled and unenthusiastic. "What a surprise…"

"Where have you been Tonks? You've been so busy these days-" he leaned over and extended his hand to her with a charming smile. She got up on her own and brushed herself off, glaring at him. Remus decided immediately and most irrationally that he did not like this man. Nevertheless he stood up and picked up the fallen table before straightening one of the fallen chairs.

"Yeah well, I have a life outside of the office you know." Tonks grumbled.

"Yet I still don't seem to be apart of it." Hain said with a rather suave and worldly laugh.

Tonks attempted to smile and it looked to Remus more like a grimace.

Hain's eyes narrowed as Remus stood up straight and began placing the books neatly back on the desk. "Excuse me-" he said.

"Oh." Tonks said. "Remus, this is Apollo Hain, Hain, this is Remus Lupin."

Hain sized Remus up and down, his eyes lingering on his patched and shabby robes, his brown hair flecked with grey and his pale and sickly complexion. Finally he stuck out his hand and shook Remus's pale hand roughly in a display of tough manhood.

"Remus Lupin is it?" he asked with a cold smile.

Remus nodded.

"Hm. It sounds familiar. Have we met before?"

"I don't believe we have." Remus replied honestly. He looked into Hain's face and thought it looked familiar as well but could not imagine for the life of him why.

"Do you work at the Ministry as well?" he pressed.

"No."

"What do you do then?" he asked in an annoyingly superior way.

"Hain!" Tonks said loudly, "Why talk about dull things like work, eh?" she said it carelessly but her dark eyes were flashing dangerously.

"I'm just wondering, cupcake. We're all friends aren't we?"

"My name is Tonks!" Tonks snarled. "Not 'cupcake'!"

"Where do you work if you don't work at the Ministry?" Hain asked Remus, ignoring Tonks's outburst.

"I'm unemployed." Remus said quietly.

Hain looked very smug at these words, Remus watched him calmly knowing from past experience what the next inevitable question was going to be.

"Why?" asked Hain.

"Health reasons." Replied Remus.

"Is that so?" Hain sneered eyeing Remus's ill, tired complexion again.

"Remus is also a qualified Professor." Tonks cut in sharply.

Remus looked at her, slightly startled by the venom in her voice.

"Perhaps you taught me when I attended school!" Hain smiled humorlessly.

"Remus isn't that old Hain." spat Tonks.

"Is that a fact?" asked Hain nastily.

"Well-" Tonks said furiously, her dark eyes blazing. "Me and Remus would love to stay and chat but we really must be on our way." She said grabbing her smoothie from the table and with a knowing nod to Remus.

"Mind if I come along?"

"Yes." Said Tonks before Remus could even think of an answer. He thought that his reply however would probably have been the same as Tonks'.

Hain looked taken aback, but recovered quite quickly. "Perhaps we could go out for a drink then? What's the rush Tonks?"

"We're going dragon hunting in Norway-none of your bloody business Hain!"

"Well fine. Be that way, I'm off to go slay a few werewolves myself." Hain said jokingly and then suddenly his eyes widened. He stared at Remus who saw the recognition in Hain's eyes. "That's where I saw you!" Hain gasped. "You were in Beast Division the other day!"

Remus remembered him now too, when he had gone to the Werewolf Registration Office at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to drop off his file he had to wait at the desk for a long time as the wizard behind the desk took forever to make sure Remus's signature was on all the papers it needed to be. It had taken even longer then it should have due to the presence of the wizard's friend who was talking to the desk wizard while reading Remus's answers over his friend's shoulder as he stood by much to Remus's embarrassment.

The annoying friend of the wizard was Hain.

"Ah." said Remus lamely.

Hain stared at him with a look of fear mingled with horror and disgust.

"Well good, now we all know each other at last." Tonks said breaking the long silence. Remus looked at Tonks nervously but Tonks seemed unfazed and was staring at Hain with a rather peeved expression. "I'll see you on Monday, Hain." She said and began walking towards the exit of the shop.

"Tonks! Wait!" Hain cried racing up to her. "Can I have a word with you?"

Tonks stopped and faced her fellow auror, "Alright, but make it quick."

Hain looked over nervously at Remus as if he might suddenly grow six inch fangs and attack them both with foam and spittle flying from his mouth. Remus put his hands in his pockets and stood there patiently.

"I meant a private word." Hain hissed in a rather pointed way.

Tonks narrowed her eyes. "Whatever you have to say can be said right here."

Hain lowered his voice as if Remus somehow wouldn't be able to hear them any better. "Do you think….this is…" he glanced back at Remus. "…very wise?"

Tonks folded arms. "What are you talking about?"

"He's a werewolf!" Hain hissed.

"He's my friend!" Tonks said angrily. "And I don't see what business it is of yours!"

Hain opened his mouth to reply to this but Tonks had already turned away from him and was marching towards the front door.

"Come'on Remus!" she said loudly, "We're leaving!"

Remus couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face as he nodded his acknowledgment to Hain and followed Tonks out of the store.

The door shut behind them with a merry tinkle of bells.

"The NERVE of him!" Tonks raged, her dark eyes flashing angrily. "I can't BELIEVE him! ARGHHH!"

She threw up her arms looking absolutely furious.

"I take it that you don't get along very well with him." Remus said calmly. For some reason he felt as if he were several pounds lighter and he felt that the broad smile that he couldn't wipe off his face was making him look utterly absurd.

She let out a loud laugh at that. "No. He's just such a conceited arse. He just brags all the time about all the things he's done and he's so big headed he doesn't realize that everyone around him is retching into their wastebaskets. Sadly, his supply of girls he uses as arm candy is endless and when it comes to me, I'm afraid he is under the delusional idea that my greatest ambition in life is to be Fanny French bon-bon hanging from his arm."

Remus felt a strong but odd twinge of great annoyance at this information.

Tonks let out a heavy sigh and shook her head apparently to compose herself. "But enough about my obnoxious colleagues…Where to?"

Remus opened his mouth but suddenly felt his heart leap as he caught sight

of two men standing near the shadowy mouth of a side alley. He grabbed Tonks and swung her around so that he would be in front of her.

"Wha-" she said in surprise before she saw the two men and her eyes widened. "Oh, my giddy aunt." She whispered.

Oedipus Moore and a Death Eater that Remus knew by the name of Jugson were standing by the shop and talking quietly amongst themselves. Remus could not think of how they could get closer without drawing attention to themselves, and yet they were so close-

Tonks suddenly tugged hard on his sleeve and he looked down to see her handing him an odd flesh covered string.

"What on earth is that?"

"I'll explain later." She hissed shoving the string roughly into his ear. "Borrowed it from the Weasley twins."

Remus watched the end of the fleshy string crawl its way along the side of the wall and suddenly he could hear the conversation between Moore and Jugson as clearly as if he were standing beside them.

"-and that should be everything." Said Moore as he handed the sack of money over to Jugson. "I shall expect results of course."

"The Dark Lord will speak to Lucius Malfoy immediately." Jugson said, all but snatching the money from the other wizard. "You can expect a promotion soon enough."

"I should think that The Dark Lord might be grateful for more ears inside the Ministry."

"Indeed. And he will reward you all the more greatly when he decides to come into the open. Perhaps a new Ministry will be established and you can be sure that you will be one of those at the top of it."

"And until then I will be counting down the days with my new job at the current Ministry." Moore said smugly. "Now if you don't mind, I have other business to attend to."

Jugson gave a mock bow as Moore apparated away. He looked at the sack of gold in his hands and carefully pocketed it before apparating away himself.

"Well fancy that!" Tonks said from his side. "Death Eaters meeting in Diagon Alley. Who would have thought?"

"It is quite clever actually. Oedipus was very smart to think of backtracking." Remus admitted as he tugged the fleshy string out of his ear. "No one would ever suspect them of meeting there in broad public."

"Well they were off to the side a little bit."

"Still in Diagon Alley though."

"True."

"This was amazing." Remus said as he handed back the string to her. "And you said the Weasley twins had it?"

"Made it actually. I caught them using it one time trying to listen on me, Bill and Mad-Eye in the kitchen as we went over a few Ministry maps. I promised not to tell anybody in the Order about it if they promised to not use it again, though I highly doubt they actually listened to me. But when I found them that day, I insisted on borrowing it from them for one time in the near future and I thought it might come in handy today."

"Impressive." Remus said as she pocketed it. "And very clever, I have no idea why Zonko's didn't think of it before."

"Why didn't the Marauders invent something like that?" she grinned.

"We were too busy making a map."

"A map?"

"Long story." He said. "But thanks to you and the Weasley twins invention we have the information we needed. Oedipus Moore is obviously in league with the Death Eaters. Family gold for new titles and positions at the Ministry."

"Well, I was the one who botched it up in the beginning." She said. "Least I could do really."

"Everyone makes mistakes." He said kindly. "I wouldn't have had this mission go any differently than it already has and I wouldn't have wanted to go on it with anybody else." He turned to look at her and was surprised to see her pale face turning a slight pink.

"Thanks." She said quietly.

He smiled at her and quickly winced as she walked right into a brick corner of a small building. "Are you alright?" he asked, steadying her as she stumbled about.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Perhaps we ought to apparate back to Headquarters? Might result in less broken bones that way."

He nodded and they apparated together at the end of Grimmauld Place where they started to walk up to the road towards the dark and gloomy house up aways.

Remus let out a sigh of relief. Everything had worked out afterall. They had discovered that Oedipus Moore was in fact providing the Death Eaters with money, neither of them bad been seriously hurt (Tonks's acquired bruises had to count for something) and he had made a new friend by the name of Nymphadora Tonks. Just for a moment, everything seemed so blissfully calm, peaceful and perfect.

As they walked back together down the street, the clouds in the dark sky parted to reveal a bright, nearly full moon in the sky- Remus even after years of bad experience recoiled slightly from the blinding brightness and the almost full shape of the moon. The moonlight flooded the street and everything on it with a pale silver glow.

Tonks spoke up suddenly from his side, "You don't look so bad in the moonlight." she said with a playful smile.

And for the first time in his life as he stared back at Tonks, her pretty face half lit by the moon's silver glow, Remus Lupin thought the moonlight was absolutely beautiful.


	3. Strangers in the Night

_By the way, in case you haven't figured it out already, the POV changes a lot from between Remus and Tonks, but I think its pretty obvious when I do change it. Hopefully not too confusing for you all. And also, I would like to thank the two very kind people who reviewed my story. Feedback whether positive or negative is always appreciated and just because I do not beg for half a page for people to leave me reviews, does not mean I don't like them. ;)_

**Chapter Three-Strangers in the Night**

"If one of us dies-"

Remus felt a flash of déjà vu as he listened to the grizzled ex-auror in front of him. Not so long ago, they had executed the flawless Advance Guard to pick up Harry from his Aunt and Uncle's house and Moody had said the same thing. It had gone remarkably smooth thanks mostly to meticulous planning and a well thought out letter from the young auror standing to his right.

"Mad-Eye, please." Tonks said, hands on her hips. "This obsession with you and death is getting ridiculous. People are going to start thinking your paranoid or something."

Moody either missed the sarcasm or chose to ignore it. "Right, well that's that, we've gone over the routine. And again the signal warning if one of is captured or hurt stands as-"

"Mad-Eye, we KNOW." Tonks exclaimed.

He bristled as he turned on her. "You may be in a rush now young missy, but when your out on the line of danger, you'll be glad that you listened. Constant vigilance!"

"Perhaps we ought to go now before we lose track entirely." Remus suggested.

"And remember, with these three in question, it's 'Curse first ask questions later'." Moody said.

"Lovely mantra." Tonks snorted.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?!?!?!"

"I think that this overly dramatic meeting is a joke, yes."

Remus stared at Tonks in awe. She either was extremely daft or very, very brave.

Moody looked furious. "When you are out there on the lines, young Tonks and all you have is your-"

"-your own guts to rely on, when your brain is numb with terror and when your wand arm is frozen in fear- those guts are what determines if you live or if you die." Tonks finished dramatically for him.

For a moment, Remus thought Moody was going to explode but to his complete surprise, his face twisted into an unmistakable smile. "Good." He said. "Very good."

"And you thought I didn't listen." Tonks grinned.

"Can't deny that I suppose," he said taking a small swig from his side flask. "You and that blasted be-bop music that's addled your brain... Right-" he said abruptly, ignoring her sticking her tongue out at him and turning back once again into the cold, tough auror he usually was. "Lupin, Tonks- you two stay together on the corner of the alley. Me and Dedalus here will take the other end of the road."

Dedalus looked a little less short of completely terrified but he nodded furiously when Moody said his name.

"Good luck men." Moody growled.

"-and women!" Tonks said indignantly.

Moody snorted before turning away and hobbling down the road.

"AND WOMEN!" Tonks shouted.

Moody said nothing and Dedalus gave them a helpless look before trotting after the old wizard.

"I think Moody's sexist." She stared after the retreating figures of the other two wizards. "Is Dedalus alright you think?"

"He's fine. He's always been an excitable fellow but I think putting him next to Moody doesn't really help his nerves."

"Oh. Well I suppose we ought to go stand guard then, hm?"

"Yes." Remus said leading the way down the road.

"Er," Tonks said suddenly.

"Yes?" he said, turning around to face her.

"Do you really think that there's going to be an attack tonight?" she asked, skepticism written all over her face.

"Well there's always the possibility…" he noticed the raised eyebrow, "but to be perfectly frank, no. Not really."

Tonks grinned. "I thought so too. Well, good to know I'm not alone at least."

Remus gave a small smile. "Moody is somehow convinced that three Death Eaters could come to eat at one of the pubs on this road and so it would be perfect to follow and track them down. Unfortunately the last time he was this positive about the location of supposed Death Eaters, I had to spend almost two days outside a snow covered cave in the middle of a frozen wastleland."

"By yourself?"

"That was during the first Order, Sirius was supposed to come and take over my shift but never came."

"How typical sounding for Sirius." Tonks said rolling her eyes. "Did you get frostbite?"

"All for nought."

She laughed and Remus smiled at the young witch walking next to him. He hadn't gotten to talk to her much since their last mission together and was rather looking forward to doing so tonight. She was quite enjoyable to talk to. He looked about the alley and wished he had brought a warmer cloak. It was very cold already.

"I suppose we should wait here." He said gesturing to some overturned crates and barrels at the end of the alley. "How does that sound to you, Nymphadora?"

She scowled at him and he managed to hide his smile. He was growing very fond of irritating her like that. When he saw how much it bothered her that night he was introducing her to Harry during the Advance Guard, he had used it to his advantage every chance he got. They hadn't seen each other very much since then, just briefly passing one another at Grimmauld Place or other locations where they had to change watch shifts. Everyone else in the Order had started to call her by Tonks but he remained persistent, making an obvious point of calling her Nymphadora to her face every time they saw each other. And her reaction every time, was priceless.

"It's Tonks!" she said furiously, throwing herself onto one of the nearby crates. "Just Tonks! Tonks! Tonks! Tonks!"

"I heard you the first time."

She huffed as she folded her arms looking cross, but her dark eyes were twinkling. "Everyone else calls me Tonks, why not you?"

"I forget." Remus lied. "And I prefer to call people by their first names; it makes things much less awkward and uncomfortable."

"But Tonks is basically my first name." she insisted.

"You told me your name is 'Nymphadora Tonks'." He said. "And I'm afraid that the knowledge has stuck with me so that now I can only think of you as 'Nympadora'."

She visibly winced and he smiled as he turned away to look down the deserted alleyway.

"Has anybody ever tried to give you a nickname besides 'Moony'?" she asked suddenly.

"Unfortunately yes. But they were all so terrible no one could bear to use them, especially me."

"Tell me one."

"No."

"What if I was to give you a nickname?"

He looked over at her. "Then I'd never speak to you again."

Tonks grinned. "How about 'Remmy'?"

Remus visibly winced. "How about I start calling you 'Dora'?" he retorted.

She grimaced. "It's bad. But not as bad as the whole name itself. What about Rem?"

"How about 'Nym'?"

"Re?"

"WHAT?"

She shugged, "I dunno. Just trying to come up with terrible names. What if I just called you 'Professor'?"

"Please don't."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me feel very old." Remus admitted.

"Alright Professor." She said smugly. "So tell me, does Sirius have a nickname?"

"Besides 'Padfoot'? None."

"Maybe I'll start calling him 'Siri'."

Remus smiled as this triggered a once forgotten memory. "One girl he went out with at one time in school called him, 'Si-si', and he got so fed up he broke up with her within the week."

"Si-si?" Tonks laughed. "God no wonder." She sighed and shuffled her feet about on the crate, trying to keep warm. "Well you're lucky; at least 'Remus' is a good name."  
"If not highly ironic."

"Mine's ironic too." Tonks said. "'Gift of the nymphs', I mean- what was my mum on? I got the gift of clumsiness."

Remus smiled. "I still think it's a very nice name. Very elegant."

"Elegant." Tonks snorted. "Just what I want to be."

"Well unfortunately there's nothing we can do about them now. We can only blame our parents-"

"Perhaps weird names just run in the family, the meaning of my mum's name is kinda kinky sounding, it means 'the chained princess'."

"Ah." Remus said uncomfortably.

She grinned at his unease. "So, if my math is correct-you would have been at school the same time my mum was."

"She was a seventh year." Remus said immediately. "I was a first year."

Her grin widened mischievously. "Did you do the math already?"

Remus's mouth opened but he could not think of anything to say in reply to this. The truth was he had done the math, in fact, the first day he met Tonks. He had figured out the age gap between them and was slightly disturbed by the fact that he was closer in age to her mother than her. Not that it mattered of course; she was just a fellow Order member, and now a good friend, nothing more-

Tonks sighed loudly as she kicked up her feet. "The name is Tonks…just Tonks." She said holding her wand up in front of her as if it were a muggle gun.

Remus chuckled softly.

She looked at him curiously. "You actually got it. Hardly anybody gets that joke."

"Well I am a half-blood." Remus said. "Seeing James Bond at the local cinema was a rather large part of my childhood."

"I used to watch James Bond a lot with my father." Tonks said. "He loved muggle movies and so he insisted on getting a telly when him and my Mum married."

She leaned against the brick wall and smiled. "Martini dry, shaken not stirred."

"I could do for one of those right now." Remus sighed, stamping his feet to keep from getting cold.

"I could do for any alcoholic beverage right now. This has got to be the stupidest mission I've ever done. A few Death Eaters MIGHT be eating today, at one of the pubs down the road and MIGHT be walking this way and MIGHT be thick enough to randomly walk down this particular alley. So what are we doing here? If we want to track them, wouldn't we follow them into the nice warm pub?"

"I think that might be why Alastor has us waiting outside. He knows we probably can't resist the temptation."

"Well maybe you could resist it." Tonks said cheerfully. "But I know that I'd rampage into that bar so fast for any bloody-"

"Are you really cold?"

"Hell yes." She said, arms wrapped around her for warmth.

He untied his cloak and draped it gently around her rather thin frame. She looked up at him, beaming. "Thanks, but aren't you cold yourself?"  
"I'm fine." He said as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Well if your sure." She said suspiciously. "But if I see your teeth start to chatter just the tiniest bit, I'm giving it back."

"Alright, Nymphadora."

She snuggled under his tattered and heavily patched cloak and glared at him, but it quickly fell into a smile. "Nymphadora…" she said. "What on earth kindof a name is it?"

"It could be a Bond girl name." Remus suggested.

She looked at him in surprise and started laughing. "I'm impressed! I never even thought of that before. "It's such a corny and overly gaudy, weird name-"

"You don't give it enough credit I think, Nymphadora really is a lovely name."

"ARGH! That's it. I'm going to go and legally change it!" she declared, her hands over her ears. "It's so stupid-"

"Names are important." Remus said seriously. "You'll always have your name. You may have nothing else in the end but when you die, it's the one thing that stays and belongs to you for the rest of time."

"Very deep." She said looking up at him in surprise.

"But very true." He sat down heavily on a nearby crate and looked up the road watching a nearby couple looking in an old shop window. "I'm falling a bit behind these days with Order work. I need to talk to a couple of members, such as Hestia and Mundungus-"

"Mundungus was totally trying to feel me up before I came over." Tonks interrupted. "Ever since I asked him to describe the Dursley's home a few weeks ago, he's gotten the idea that I'm interested in him or something."

Remus grimaced at the rather unpleasant thought. "Did you give him an incentive perhaps?"

"Ugh no. I just asked him, 'Mundungus, you've seen the house Harry lives at…what's it look like?' He talked to my breasts the entire time."

Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"You think it's funny?" Tonks said in mock rage. "I was ruthlessly given the old eye by Mundungus Fletcher and you think its funny?"

"Hardly." Remus said seriously. "But your reaction is amusing."

"Men." Tonks said in exasperation. "You're all the same."

"I expect that you're receiving the most attention because your one of the few women…young women, I should add, that is single and attractive in the Order."

Tonks raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

Remus felt immediately awkward. He hadn't intended for it to sound anything other than an obvious fact. "Well," he said slowly. "That's just the way it is. I'm sure if Mundungus Fletcher thought his actions through and considered it, that's what he'd say too."

She laughed and Remus relaxed. He looked back up the road again and sighed. It was going to be a very long night. Possibly as bad as the empty snow-cave incident during the first Order.

"Hey-" Tonks said quietly. "Do you hear that?"

He frowned as he strained to hear something and did indeed here music from onhere of the nearby apartments playing.

"Isn't that-?"

Tonks jumped to feet still wearing Remus's cloak which was a little too big for her and dragged slightly on the ground.

"What's the name of that song?" she said spinning around to the beat of it. "It's a muggle song, I know-"

Remus listened to the lyrics and yet couldn't remember for the life of him what it was so he settled instead for watching Tonks dramatically slow dance with an imaginary partner to the song.

_Strangers in the night,_

_Exchanging glances,_

_Wondering in the night,_

_What were the chances?_

_We'd be sharing love,_

_Before the night was through…_

He laughed as she did a spin with her imaginary partner and pretended to be doing a bizarre mixture of the tango and a waltz. She looked over at him and before he could stop her, she grabbed hold of his hands, pulling him to his feet cutting him off before he could protest-

"It would be terrible of you to let me dance by myself." She said, taking unsteady steps around the alley while still holding his hands.

_Something in your eyes,_

_Was so inviting,_

_Something in your smile-_

_Was so exciting,_

_Something in my heart,_

_Told me I must have you…_

She led them nearly right into a dumpster and Remus caught her before she tripped. She moved forward only to step painfully on his toes. Half laughing she attempted an apologetic curtsey and fell backwards over a bunch of boxes.

_Strangers in the night,_

_Two lonely people-_

_We were strangers in the night,_

_Up to the moment _

_When we said our first hello,_

_Little did we know,_

_Love was just a glance away,_

_A warm embracing dance away, and-_

Tonks was laughing so hard she couldn't seem to summon the strength to stand. Her smile was contagious. Every time she smiled or laughed, he was doing it too. Remus was laughing as he tried to pull her up and was struggling to lift her back onto her feet which seemed too unsteady to support herself. Nearby a neighbor was shouting out of their window to the apartment that was playing the music complaining about the loud noise.

_Ever since that night,_

_We've been together._

_Lovers at first sight,_

_In love forever._

_It turned out so right,_

_For strangers in the night…_

"I give up!" Tonks snorted. "I cannot dance, I cannot sing- you're very lucky I didn't sing along to that or you'd be pleading for mercy. It's like the equivalent of Augury song torture or something."

Remus managed to pull her to her feet and straighten his cloak on her as she dusted off some of the dust she had collected.

"I think I have cobwebs in my hair." She said, shaking her head like a wet dog.

Remus wasn't sure if it would be rude to dust her hair off for her. Most women seemed very touchy about their hair.

But before he could think of what to do, she screwed up her face-eyes tightly shut and seconds later her hair turned into a baby blue coloured bob.

"What do you think?" she asked him, displaying her hairstyle.

"Err, its-"

"Don't answer that." She said screwing up her face again. A second later her hair was a bright Weasley red. "How about this?"

"I don't-"

"Wait a second-" she said hastily, screwing up her eyes. Her hair was now neon green. "Oh, I bet I look like an overgrown, mutant leprechaun or something. I don't know. What's your favorite colour?"

"I like pink." Remus said before he could stop himself.

"Oooh." Tonks said with a saucy grin. "You're a real man aren't you? Most blokes won't admit such a thing."

"When I say I like pink, I mean that I like it on you."

There was an awkward pause as Tonks raised an eyebrow as she stared at him.

"I mean," Remus said hastily. "It'd look terrible on me, but it suits you very well."

"How so?"

"Well…" Remus floundered for a moment before coming up with something to say. "Pink is a unique colour, mostly symbolic for feminine qualities and passiveness."

Tonks's face lit up in an amused smile. "Did I detect a note of sarcasm in that hoarse voice of yours, Professor Lupin?"

"Since when was it that professors were exempt from using sarcasm? And I don't believe that I was."

"It was clearly sarcasm. You were being terribly rude to my pink hair."

"Was I really? I'm so sorry."

"I still detect it…"

He chuckled and turned away, looking down the dark shadow covered alley. When he turned back to look at her, her hair was a bright, bubble-gum pink in a short spiky style. "Lovely." He said.

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"You're not just pulling my leg?"

"I'm not really the type of person that pulls anybody's leg."

"Sirius might beg to differ. All those school stories he keeps telling me seem to suggest otherwise."

"Which ones?" Remus asked in exasperation.

"Well he did relate to me an amazing and actually surprising tale about you and several suits of armor, a very complicated spell and an unsuspecting school population."

Remus smiled. "Oh yes, that was a good one."

Tonks pulled him down to sit beside him on a crate. He tensed automatically but Tonks was smiling strangely.

He cleared his throat and was about to say something stupid about anything at all when he felt a wand tip on the back of his neck.

His mind immediately jumped to the outrageous idea that the supposed Death Eaters had found them and were going to capture them both. He leapt to his feet sending up bright red sparks with his wand as the warning signal to Mad-Eye and Dedalus.

Tonks let out an unexpected scream of laughter and doubled over, falling onto the alley ground as she was seized with crippling laughter.

"What-?"

Two loud cracks filled the alley as Mad-Eye and Dedalus appeared, wide-eyed.

Moody immediately started sending jinx's in all directions, causing a nearby mangy, stray cat to let out a yowl of surprise and duck under the dumpster for safety.

"What happened?" Dedalus squeaked, looking from Remus to Tonks who was now snorting loudly.

"I have no idea." Remus confessed.

Tonks sat up with a gasp. "Remus! I-I-" But she burst out laughing again as she caught sight of him.

He turned to Dedalus, "What do you-" Then he stopped short as he watched Dedalus start to smile widely. "What's so funny?" he asked suspiciously.

Dedalus let out a high pitched giggle before he too joined Tonks in laughing hysterically.

Moody had ceased cursing the dustbins and turned looking furious to them all. "What-" he snarled as he clunked forward. "Is so damn FUNNY?!?!"

Remus shrugged helplessly and noticed Moody's gaze go to the top of his own head. With a frown he nervously felt the top of his head. It felt normal. "What?" he asked desperately.

Moody rounded on Dedalus and Tonks who were still laughing as they pointed at Remus.

"Pink…" Tonks wheezed, clutching her side. "I couldn't resist-" and she burst out laughing again.

"Pink." Remus repeated flatly. "My hair is pink?"

The roars of laughter confirmed his answer. Remus couldn't stop himself from grinning and before he could get a grip on himself he started to laugh as well. It really was funny if he were to admit it to himself. And quite clever.

"Will you all," Moody growled. "SHUT UP?!?!"

Dedalus and Remus managed to sober up instantly at the ex-auror's wrath but Tonks rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Oh, come'on Mad-Eye!" she exclaimed. "It was funny! Even Dedalus was laughing!"

What was left of Dedalus's smile vanished instantly. "No I wasn't." he said nervously.

Moody glared at Remus's hair. "This has got to be the most unprofessional and immature thing I have ever experienced! Tonks, you have ruined the entire mission-"

"Alastor-" Remus said, coming to the young witches's defense. "I was the one who over-reacted." He felt himself start to smile again from the ridiculousness of the situation and bit his lip to keep from laughing. Tonks caught his look and let out a small laugh.

"SHUT UP!" Moody snarled.

They both regained their composure as Moody turned away from them both with angry huff.

Remus tentatively looked over at Tonks who had been trying to look at him again from the corner of her eye. Upon catching the other's gaze they quickly turned away, covering their snickers the best they could.

Moody turned around, and Remus forced himself to appear as stern-faced as he could appear. He made a conscious effort to look far away from Tonks who he knew would only cause him to start laughing. Moody tapped Remus hard on the head with his wand and Remus watched his reaction to see what had happened.

The deep lines on the old wizard's face deepened as he tapped Remus again with the wand. And again…and again…

Tonks was now quite obviously snickering.

Moody rounded on her. "Alright lass!" he bellowed. "The fun is up! What's the counter-spell?"

"Counter-spell?" she repeated blankly. But Remus had been watching her eyes and knew she was lying. "I don't know it."

"Don't KNOW it?" Moody hissed.

She shook her head keeping her expression completely innocent. "I forgot."

"Forgot?" Moody repeated looking absolutely irate. "You FORGOT?!?!"

"Its fine Alastor, we'll take care of it later." He said quickly, rubbing his head where Moody had hit him hard with the wand.

Moody rounded on him. "You look ridiculous Lupin."

Remus nodded. "I'm well aware of it, but fortunately my hair color does not prevent me from participating in this mission."

"You look like a bloody poofer."

"Thank you." Remus said dryly.

Tonks snorted and Moody whipped around so fast, Remus thought he might fall over.

"And YOU, missy!" he bellowed, sending flecks of spit at her. "You have the most infuriating and most immature behavior of any auror I've ever met!"

"And you have a rubbish sense of humour." Tonks retorted.

Suddenly from the end of the alley there came the noise of a dustbin being pushed aside. All four of them turned, wands drawn towards the source of the noise. Tonks was the first to take few steps forward down the shadow covered alley, but she was all but thrown aside as Moody came up from behind and wrenched her backwards by the scruff her borrowed cloak from him.

"HEY!" she exclaimed.

"It could be dangerous." Moody said shortly as he moved forward.

Tonks drew breath quite quickly as she stood up to her full height, her face furious. "Oh yes!" she said angrily. "I couldn't possibly send a spell in the right direction because I'm a woman! My breasts might get in the way."

Remus felt his ears immediately burn pink at the topic of the conversation, but Moody simply glanced over his shoulder looking irritated.

"Stay out of this lass."

"No! I am a member just as well as you are and I'm an auror too. I know what I'm doing! Don't tell me it's too dangerous or some other porlock crap-"

"Just shut up and stay behind me."

"Oh you're right." Tonks said sarcastically, her eyes flashing. "What on earth was I thinking that I could help you all? I have a uterus! That promotes me to the rank of invalid!"

Remus noticed that she had the infamous 'Black' family look when she got angry.

"Excuse me Dedalus," she said pushing past the short wizard and sitting down on a nearby crate. "I have to sit down and take a breather- its just too difficult, my ovaries are tying me up today."

Dedalus looked absolutely terrified at the mention of female anatomy, he was practically stuttering. Moody turned back to Tonks, his face arranged in a furious scowl.

"Shut it." He said nastily as he clunked forward into the shadows. There was a brief moment of perfect silence and still before-

BOOM! Burning light filled the alley way with a burst of sound that was similar to that of several cannons. Dedalus gave a terrified squeal before toppling over but Tonks was still glaring at Moody who had set off the enormous explosion with his wand.

"And the purpose of that was…what?" Tonks asked dully.

"Frightened off any would-be attackers!" Moody shouted as he ran off down the deserted alley sending jinxes and spells in all directions.

Remus shook his head as he leaned over and helped Dedalus to his feet.

It was sometime before Moody came clunking back, empty-handed.

"So Mad-Eye, what was it that was too dangerous for me and my female wiles to handle?" Tonks snapped.

"Nothing. False alarm." He said shortly. "Come'on Dedalus." He rounded on Tonks and Remus. "And don't you two dare do something like that again!"

He apparated with Dedalus, cursing and swearing under his breath.

"It was probably just another poor alley cat." Tonks said.

There was a long, prolonged silence as Remus and Tonks stared at each other in the darkness. Tonks broke it first,

"Well Professor Lupin, do you expect me to talk?"

He smiled. "No Miss Tonks, I expect you to die."

She laughed. "Good, you caught it. I was afraid you weren't going to get it."

"My memory of James Bond lines remains flawless."

She crossed her arms, "Well I hate to tell you that what I said a moment ago still remains true. I'm not telling."

"Telling what?"

"The counter-spell." She said with a nod to his pink hair.

Remus straightened up. "I had expected as much." He said stiffly. "So what shall I be forced to do?" He began to pace the alleyway, pretending to be in deep thought. "I think punishment is inevitable for you now Nymphadora."

"Punishment?" she repeated, her dark eyes twinkling. "What did you have in mind?"

"The punishment has to fit the crime." He said coolly. "I've always been a firm believer in that."

"So…what? Are you going to make me wear one of your tweed jumpers or something?" she asked.

He stopped short. "And what, may I ask is wrong with tweed?"

"Nothing." She said sarcastically.

He smiled. "How much does tweed bother you?"

She shook her head. "Don't even think about getting any ideas. I already suggested it so I will be very disappointed if that's the best you can come up with for revenge."

"Oh don't worry." He said cheerfully. "It isn't. But now I'm curious. What's wrong with tweed?"

She looked at his moth-bitten sweater and raised an eyebrow. "Tweed is something my grandfather was buried in I think. Professor Dumbledore I bet doesn't even own anything in tweed. Tweed is the equivalent of the muggle dinosaurs…its old fashioned…no, not old fashioned…extinct."

"I like old fashioned." He said. Of course this was a lie. The reason he wore tweed was because he was too damn poor to afford anything else than this old, faded sweater, but he didn't tell her that of course.

"Remus you're not a dinosaur. You're the same age as Sirius, right?"

"I'm thirty-six." He said, forcing himself not to wince. Merlin's beard, he was headed, no- plummeting straight down the path of geezer hood and he wasn't even officially 'over-the-hill' yet.

"Thirty-six?" she repeated. "That's no excuse for ugly tweed."

"There are very few things a man of my age can get away with when dressing himself these days."

"Tweed is no excuse." She said firmly.

"Well I can't wear some of the outfits I've seen you wearing if that's what you have in mind."

"Band t-shirts are acceptable."

"The last one I saw was ripped."

"It was a style."

"Right across the top of the chest."

"You noticed." She remarked.

He felt himself flush the same colour as his hair and was grateful it was dark. "Of course I did, it was the oddest thing I had ever seen."

"I'm twenty-two, I can wear odd styles." She grinned.

There was a noise from the other end of the alley that lead to the open road, Remus turned with a sigh expecting to see Moody again but upon seeing who it was he felt his heart jerk to a sudden stop and the blood in his veins freeze as icy cold fear washed over him.

Three cloaked and hooded figures, were striding down towards them both. Though they weren't wearing their masks, Remus knew right away who they were-

Death Eaters.

This time it was the real deal.

There was Gibbon, Jugson and another tall, cloaked man that Remus didn't recognize but knew beyond doubt that he couldn't just be taking a stroll with the other two without being a Death eater himself.

He grabbed Tonks's arm and pulled her back into the shadows of the old dumpster with him. She didn't protest but leaned close to him, staring wide eyed The Death Eaters hadn't seen them yet and Remus hoped it would stay that way until they could get help from Moody and Dedalus to track them.

The Death Eaters were about to pass by, Remus tightened his grip on Tonks as she let out a small intake of breath as they drew closer.

They were passing by now, so close to them-

Squeak.

Tonks had just backed up against an overturned dustbin and its rusted side had scraped the wall with the tiniest of noises.

"STUPEFY!"

Remus pulled Tonks down just in time as a jet of red light smashed into the wall behind them. The Death Eaters had turned and were coming right at them. Tonks leaped to her feet and sent a spell at the one Death Eater that was closest to them. Remus jumped up beside her and sent up a shield charm for them both as two of the Death Eaters sent curses in their direction.

The spells rebounded and Tonks sent over another as she ran forward into the fray. As Remus ran after her and confronted the tall Death Eater, as she sent a hex over at Gibbon while at the same time swinging her elbow back and around hitting Jugson in the chest who doubled over immediately, gasping for breath.

Nymphadora Tonks obviously knew what she was doing. Remus was impressed how quickly she could go from such a fun-loving, laidback girl to a fearless, all-business auror. As she dueled Gibbon, a winded Jugson came up and attacked Remus who ducked the curse and sent a stunning spell back in his direction. The tall Death Eater took advantage of Remus's focus on Jugson to come up from behind and smash into him, sending them both crashing into a heap of rubbish. Remus was so surprised by the full-on body slam, his wand had slipped from his hand when he fell. He desperately searched for it as Jugson approached them.

The tall Death Eater lying next to him, pointed his wand at Remus,

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

Remus who had expected this, ducked as the beam of light sailed above him and hit Jugson straight on. He then lunged forward and knocked the surprised, tall Death Eater's wand out of his hand as they rolled about on the pile of rubbish.

Tonks seemed to have stopped Gibbon with the full body bind as she now turned her attention to a disoriented Jugson. The tall Death Eater, grabbed Remus and before he could stop him- swung him around, face first into the side of a rusted dustbin. Remus fell forward, his vision blurring as his head swam with the pain. He forced himself to sit up and look around to see where the tall Death Eater had gone.

The tall Death Eater was running over to Tonks-

There was a flash of silver.

_Dear god…_

The man had a knife.

Tonks's back was turned. She wasn't even aware of the immediate danger.

He didn't even pause to think about it. He just reacted.

Remus had no wand.

He had never been much of a fighter but without any hesitation, he jumped to his feet and raced forward up to the side of the tall Death Eater. He pulled back his fist and swung.

His fist contacted right into the side of the Death Eater's face.

_Bloody hell!_ A blinding shot of pain ripped up the whole side of his arm. He almost swore aloud. He must have broken half of his bones in his hand.

Fortunately, he seemed to break a whole bunch of other bones on the Death Eater he had just punched, including his nose which was now pouring out a heavy stream of red blood.

The tall Death Eater swung his knife about in a crazed arch, Remus ducked but as he did so felt the sharp tip graze the side of his face. He jumped back as the Death Eater, screaming from pain came at him swinging the knife wildly.

Remus felt his back bump up against the alley wall and he ducked again when the Death Eater swung at him. Desperately, he grabbed hold of the man's arm to avoid having the knife stabbed at him again.

As they struggled and grappled for control over the knife, their faces inches from eachother-two loud cracks filled the alley right before a flurry of spells exploded from behind the Death Eater in front of him. The Death Eater wrenched himself backwards suddenly and before Remus could register what had just happened, the man disapparated right before a bright red light from an oncoming stunning spell came at him from straight on. As the beam of light hit Remus right in the chest, the last thing he could remember before the crushing darkness overtook him was that he was going to kill Moody when and if he woke up.

* * *

Remus woke to pain as his head contacted with a thick, familiar doorframe. 

"Oops! Sorry Remus!" Tonks hissed as she and Dedalus dragged him awkwardly through the front door of #12 Grimmauld Place. "I would have woken you up earlier but we didn't have-"

"I knew it!" Moody exclaimed in the loudest whisper he could manage as they entered the dark, sinister front hall. "Didn't I tell you that they were going to be there! And they were!"

"Yes Mad-Eye, we know!" Tonks snapped, as she clung to the wall for balance. Remus slowly straightened up and rubbed his head.

"What happened?" came a familiar voice. Remus turned to see his unshaven and gaunt faced friend rush forward to them from the kitchen. "What the hell was-"

"Death Eaters!" Moody said triumphantly. "Right where I predicted they would be!"

"And-?" Sirius asked looking from an ashen-faced Dedalus, to a breathless Tonks and then to Remus.

"They attacked Remus and Tonks." Moody said carelessly. "They all managed to disapparate as soon as me and Dedalus got there."

"And Moody stunned Remus." Tonks said in disgust.

"I was aiming for the blasted Death Eater."

"You didn't miss much at all Remus," Tonks said, turning to him. "Mad-Eye made me and Dedalus grab you when we apparated here right after the Death Eaters left."

"Sounds like it was productive." said Sirius. Remus wondered if anyone else could hear the sarcasm lying carefully under the simple words. "Nice hair, Moony."

"I'll explain that later."

"I should find Albus- tell him what happened-" Moody was saying as he headed downstairs for the kitchen. "Tell him in person."

Dedalus looked as if he were about to pass out and Sirius actually appeared to have noticed. "How about we all head down to the kitchen? Make some tea or something." he suggested. Moody clunked away with Sirius and Dedalus following close behind.

Tonks looked over at Remus with a look of exasperation and her eyes suddenly widened.

"Remus!" she exclaimed leaning over, to look at him better. "You're bleeding!"

"I-what?"

Tonks reached out to touch the side of his face with her fingertips and when she pulled away they were red with blood.

"Oh." He reached up to touch the side of his face as well and saw her eyes widen even more as she stared at his hand.

"You stupid wanker. I didn't even notice this in the dark. Why didn't you tell me about it when you woke up?" She said gently taking hold of his hand. "It's broken- isn't it?"

He looked at his hideously swollen fingers, finally aware of the aching that had been throbbing there for some time. "I think so."

She sighed and pulled out her wand, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'git'.

Remus flinched as she tapped her wand to his hand, expecting something disastrous to happen but to his surprise his hand mended quite quickly and neatly.

She was smirking. "You didn't trust me, did you?"

"No, of course I-"

"Don't lie, I know you didn't. That's okay-but you should know that I am a champion when it comes to healing spells, having used most of them enough times on myself."

They were still holding hands. Upon realizing this, Remus dropped his hand quickly.

"So-" he said briskly as he headed down the stairs. "How does early breakfast sound?" His hand was tingling strangely and he was feeling oddly flustered. Probably had to be his riled nerves or something. Yes, that was it.

"Sounds great." Tonks said with a yawn as she followed him. "I'll come and help you."

"That sounds like a bad idea." Sirius said suddenly as he poked his head out from the bottom of the stairs to see what had become of them. "Tonks working in the kitchen."

"I'm hungry, and so is Nymphadora." Remus said as he stode into the underground kitchen.

Tonks playfully swatted his shoulder. "I told you not to call me that!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at them both as he went over and sat down in his chair, immediately tilting it onto its back legs.

Remus set about getting some porridge together as Tonks worked on finding some bread to use as toast.

"Do you want something Mad-Eye?" Tonks asked as she leaned forward in front of Moody who was scribbling away madly on some parchment.

"No I would not." He snapped.

"I don't see why you're in such a bad mood." Tonks said. "If me and Remus weren't there you never would have known the Death Eaters ever even went that way."

"If you weren't such a bloody immature klutz and you-" he said rounding on Remus. "-whose mind has gravitated back to the mind of an adolescent fifth year hadn't been horsing around we might have had everything work out the way I planned it to!"

"Everything did work out!" Tonks exclaimed. "Oh, and by the way- the music I happen to like and listen to is called 'pop' not 'be-bop'."

Moody made a noise of disgust before collecting his parchments and going over to the fireplace.

Tonks flicked a piece of bread at him as he threw floo powder into the grate and disappeared in the green flames. "Bastard." she said.

Dedalus was clutching his tea mug like it was the last safe refuge in the world. "I'm going to go upstairs and lay down."

"The sofa in the parlour is safe to sit on now." Sirius said.

Dedalus nodded numbly before he headed upstairs mumbling to himself.

"Hasn't changed much has he?" Sirius yawned.

"He always gets slightly unhinged after being forced to work with Mad-Eye. He'll be his old self again by tomorrow morning." Remus observed as he placed the bowl of porridge on the table.

Tonks sleepily reached across to ladle some porridge into her cup while pouring her tea into her bowl.

"Er, Tonks?" Sirius grinned. "Wake up."

She stared for a moment at what she was doing before the realization hit her. "BUGGER!" she said, nearly dropping the teapot.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter as Remus leaned over and helped rectify the situation with his wand.

"How sweet of you, you 'adolescent fifth year.'" Sirius smirked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I had no idea what he was talking about."

"Well, does it have something to do with your new hairstyle?"

"I did that." Tonks admitted proudly as she added some milk to her porridge. "I think it suits him wonderfully. Really brings out his 'feminine qualities and passiveness'."

"And why haven't you changed it back yet?"

"Because I won't tell him the counter-spell." she laughed.

Remus smiled. "Maybe I would like to keep the pink hair."

"And have Moody call you a poofer under his breath for the rest of the years to come? I know your lying; you're just pretending that you don't care so that I'll give you the counter-spell."

Remus sighed as he stood up to go and rescue Tonks's burning toast for them all. She let out a huge yawn as she stood up and picked up a pile of papers that were stacked, on one of the counters.

"Oh by the way, Remus, I need you-"

"So does England." He said immediately.

She stared at him blankly for a moment and then a grin broke out on her pale face. "Ooooh very good."

He smiled. "I try."

"Well thanks for having a conversation that includes everybody." Sirius grumbled.

"We're talking about James Bond." Remus said coolly. "Do you know who he is?"

Sirius frowned as he thought about this for a moment. "Did we go to school with him?" he asked finally.

Tonks let out a laugh at that. "Alright, we'll talk about something else. No more Bond lines. I was going to say that I need you Remus to help me go over some of this stuff here. Dumbledore wanted us to look these over before we give them back to Kingsley and Arthur."

"Alright…" he said bringing over the toast.

Him, Tonks and Sirius spent a few hours going over various maps, reports and papers until Remus set down one map he had been examining for awhile and looked up at his two friends.

Sirius was snoring, cradling his empty bottle of firewhiskey as he lay sprawled out on his chair.

He looked over across the table and smiled. Nymphadora Tonks was fast asleep, her mouth slightly open as her head rested on the tabletop next to her bowl of half-eaten porridge. She looked very cute, sleeping peacefully like that-

Cute? Where on earth had that come from?

He stared at her for a moment longer before drawing his wand from his robes. Revenge was truly a beautiful thing.

* * *

Tonks woke up with a start and looked about blearily to see why she had woken up so suddenly. 

Her eyes fell on the spilled porridge that her head had obviously rolled onto while she slept.

"Ughhh.." she said, running her hands through her hair which felt to have collected bits of cold, wet porridge.

Across from her, Remus was gone, along with half the papers- but Sirius was still there and all but sprawled out on the table now with his empty bottle of firewhiskey.

"Wake up you drunk." She said poking him hard with her spon.

He groaned and rolled over, his back to her. She used the spoon to beat him until he was forced to roll over again and face her.

Sirius slowly opened his eyes and let out a barklike laugh as he caught sight of her.

"What?" she frowned.

But he just pointed to the top of her head and started laughing loudly.

"WHAT?" she demanded.

But now she had a pretty shrew idea just what was so funny. She jumped to her feet and raced out of the kitchen and up the stairs where she knew there was an old dusty, cracked mirror hanging in the hall.

She gasped at her reflection. "Oh…he did not!" she hissed.

But he had. She reached out and tugged one of the many short grey locks from the top of her head.

Grey. Grey like…the grey streaks in Remus Lupin's hair. Retaliation. Ha. It was a rather weak form of revenge. She was a Metamorphous so it didn't really matter what he did to her hair, because she could always change it back. She was still the winner because eventually he'd have to come pleading back to her for the counter-spell to turn his hair normal again.

She smirked as she shut her eyes and willed her hair to go back to pink. When she opened her eyes however, she received a shock.

Her hair was still grey. Her mouth dropped as she took a step closer to the mirror and tried again.

_Oh, that bastard…what the hell kindof a spell did he use that could work on someone like ME?_

She tried again, and again, growing more and more frustrated with each hopeless attempt. In the end she was still stuck staring at her grey haired appearance with no idea how to change it back. She even tried using her own counter-spell for changing hair colour and it didn't work.

It seemed appearances were indeed very deceiving and Remus Lupin in his stupid tweed jumper was better at disguises than her. Beneath that mild-mannered, old-fashioned and overly polite exterior was apparently still the mischievous Marauder Moony.


	4. Reminiscing and Purple Pumps

**Chapter Four- Reminiscing and Purple Pumps**

It was very late when Remus Lupin walked into Grimmauld Place. The entire house was dark and disturbingly quiet. His robes and tweed jumper and were soaked from the pouring rain outside and his socks he could feel were completely drenched as well. After safely locking the front door behind him and hanging up his wet cloak, he put down his dilapidated suitcase on the front table before setting his wand on top of it.

He sighed. Sirius was probably upstairs passed out drunk again. Brilliant. Another lousy night moping up his friend's vomit and all he wanted to do was sleep-

He paused. He could hear voices from downstairs. Not coming from the kitchen- but from the small closet under the stairs that led to the dark basement room for storage. He headed over to find the door slightly ajar and he opened it- listening.

" –'kin piece of shit and that's why this crap makes me so godamn miserable and pissed-"

Remus rolled his eyes at the sound of his friend's slurred voice wondering what he was having a conversation with this time. Last week it had been a broken candlestick.

He reached the bottom of the stairs to only to receive a shock. Sirius was there but also with him was none other than Nymphadora Tonks- both of them stood on separate boxes surrounded by dark, murky water that was covering the floor by almost a half meter. A rusty pipe on the side of the wall had cracked and water was pouring all over the place. Worse still, Sirius was clutching a bottle of half-empty firewhiskey under one arm and wearing purple women's high-heeled shoes.

Tonks had a bucket in one hand and a large wrench in the other and was hitting the broken pipe with it- looking frustrated.

"-so then I ask myself, how come my life has gone so- Ah, Remus! Perfect- take over." Sirius said loudly catching sight of him.

Tonks turned, her hair- long and fiery red today was hanging in her eyes. "Remus!" she said happily, pushing the long strands off to the side. "What are you doing?"

"I was planning on staying here for the night. I needed somewhere to stay again. I have to be up early tomorrow to go tracking with Hestia." he said. "Nice hair."

She made a face. She was still bitter about the fact that in the end, she was the one that had to come to him for the counter-spell after the enormous hair-dying incident. Remus had fixed his own hair shortly after dying hers and he was still amused by how touchy she was by his revenge.

He turned to look at his friend again, "Why are you wearing women's shoes Sirius?"

"We have a bet." Tonks explained. "I have an office party to attend in two weeks and I want to start practicing walking in my high-heels so that I won't trip and fall." She lifted her robes a bit and Remus saw some sparkly baby blue shoes on her own feet. "Sirius here says it's not difficult to do and so we have a bet- I say he can't last 24 hours."

"I'm going on six hours!" he boasted. "It's easy!"

Remus bit back a laugh. "Where did you get the shoes?"

"My dear old Mum's closet." He said with a rarely heard, but all too familiar barklike laugh.

Remus sighed and waded across the room, not bothering to keep his already damp clothes dry.

"No Remus, your exhausted- go upstairs and go to bed- it should be SOMEONE else's responsibility to fix the pipes." She said with a nasty glare at her cousin.

"Good point." Sirius admitted. "KREACHER!" he bellowed.

"I meant YOU!"

"Kreacher might drown in all this water anyway." Remus pointed out as he climbed onto a box near Sirius.

"What a tragedy that would be." Sirius said sarcastically. He looked over across the room at where the steps to the door lay. "Where is that little piece of filth? He's supposed to come when he's called."

"Sirius-"

"Probably crying about how his mistresses, 'cross-dressing brat is defiling the house again'."

"Did he really say that?" Tonks asked with a laugh.

"Yes."

"Kreacher shouldn't be talking." Tonks chuckled. "Walking around the house in something that resembles a woman's thong."

Sirius, halfway through a swig of firewhiskey chocked on it and started coughing heavily.

"Sirius, that's not going to help you fix the pipes. Make it worse, most definitely." Remus pointed out with a nod towards the bottle.

"I'm going to tell him that the next time I see him." Sirius said joyfully to Tonks completely ignoring Remus's comment. "I always feel so much better after insulting him."

"Sirius-"

"Shut up Remus, I'm not in the mood to hear it."

"Fine." Remus said, leaning over further to inspect the pipe. It looked very bad on closer inspection.

Sirius was fiddling with a radio perched precariously on an old bookcase. Static filled the small room as he tried searching for a station. Suddenly- the radio waves ceased to fall on a familiar song.

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's-"

"I know Padfoot- I recognize it too."

"What?" Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow. "This song? It sounds like it was sung long before you two were even born."

"It was." Remus said. "But it used to be Frank Longbottom's favorite song. We had to share a dorm with him, and he used to listen to this type of music all the time."

"First the Screaming Skulls, now 1940's music that my grandparents listened too." Tonks said, shaking her head.

"The chorus is coming up!" Sirius said. "You'd better sing it with me Moony."

"I will not."

"Come'on, SING YOU STUBBORN ARSE!"

"No."

"I'll turn you into a rat and feed you to Buckbeak."

"Not going to do it."

"I'll throw out all the chocolate in the house."

That was a low threat but Remus refused to show he was affected by it. "I'll go out and buy some more."

"You don't have any money." Sirius sneered.

"Fair enough." Remus said, giving up at last.

Sirius threw his arm around his friend and teetered unsteadily as he stood on Remus's box with him and held out his bottle of firewhiskey before them like a microphone. Remus nearly gagged from the reek of alcohol and the stench of his 'unwashed-for-several-days' friend.

Tonks watched them both from her box, a grin on her pale face.

The chorus came and Remus and Sirius began to sing (and in Sirius's case rather drunkenly)-

"That blue eyed witch

She broke my heart

One small glance

And I fell apart

Where are you now

My blue-eyed babe?

You took my love

And then gave it away!"

Tonks snorted with laughter and applauded.

Sirius leaned forward to bow and would have fallen off the box if Remus hadn't caught him in time.

"Alright." Tonks said firmly, "Your singing is amazing, WWN material, really- but I'm afraid we have to fix this pipe by tonight. Any suggestions?"

Sirius was too busy taking another swig of firewhiskey to respond.

"Is it just this pipe that broke?" Remus asked Tonks.

"Yes."

"How long ago?"

"We came down not more than a half hour ago when we heard the noise of the water."

Remus frowned and examined it more closely. "I don't think it's the pressure itself- more likely the corroded rust that caused the pipe to wear away at its already significantly weaker points."

Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Alright Remus Lupin- plumber magnificent-"

"Hardly." Remus said briskly. "I'm a simple teacher, remember?"

"Well then, Professor-" Tonks grinned. "You fix it up."

Remus sighed and gave her a warning look. "Please don't call me Professor, Tonks- I've told you before already, it makes me feel very old."

"Harry and the other kids did."

"Yes, but I'd prefer if you didn't."

"Professor…" Tonks said leaning forward to poke him teasingly with the wrench.

He sighed. "What is it, Nymphadora?"

She drew back, a look of surprise and disbelief on her pretty, heart-shaped face. "Oh well fine- if that's the way you're going to be then, you evil git."

Remus smiled and straightened up. "Right- do we have any tools besides those?"

Sirius shrugged. "There's some upstairs I think."

"I'll get them." Tonks offered, taking off her pretty shoes before sliding off her box and wading through the water to get to the stairs.

"Cheater!" Sirius bellowed.

"The bet's on you Sirius- I know I can walk in these." She said smoothly.

Remus bent over again to examine the pipe when suddenly Tonks let out an angry cry.

"Oh I don't believe this!" she exclaimed. "It's locked!"

Remus's head shot up. "What?"

"It's jammed- its locked from the outside."

Sirius rounded on Remus. "WHY DID YOU LOCK US IN!"

"I didn't!" Remus exclaimed nervously. "I didn't even shut the door behind me!"

"It's impossible for Remus to have locked us in." Tonks said from the stairs. "The lock is on the outside of the door."

"KREACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius roared kicking Tonks's bucket she had left on the box.

Remus ducked the bucket and frowned. "It's alright though- you two have your wands right?"

There was a long silence.

"Right?" Remus asked again, a bit more urgently this time.

"Er-" Tonks said, coming down the stairs again and poking her blushing head from around the corner. "Actually mine is upstairs in my cloak pocket."

Remus closed his eyes and turned towards Sirius.

"Sirius?"

"Godamnit Moony, why're you looking at me? I misplaced mine days ago. There's no point in having it if all you're going to do is stay locked in a house that your old hag of a mother-"

"But you have yours!" Tonks interrupted, looking at Remus. "Right?"

The silence lay stretched out again over them all.

"It's upstairs on the front table." Remus said quietly.

The steadily dripping water was the only audible sound in the room.

"Ohhhh…holy…shit." Sirius groaned.

"Oh my god!" Tonks cried, looking slightly hysterical. "If Mad-Eye ever hears of this it'll be my arse. I'm an auror! 'Constant vigilance' and all that crap! I'm supposed to have my wand on me at all times!"

"It's not your fault." Remus reassured her.

"Mad-Eye won't get to you first, don't worry Tonks- we're all going to drown in this rapidly rising water." Sirius said cheerfully.

"Thank you, Padfoot- that comment really was not necessary." Remus said, eyeing the dirty water below.

"Shut up. You're a prat Moony- you left your wand on the front table!"

"You're a drunk- shut up."

"Wait a second, this is stupid-why don't we just apparate?" Tonks asked them both.

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "You can't apparate on any of the lower levels in this house."

"Why not?" Tonks asked in surprise.

"My parents didn't trust me." Sirius said simply. "Afraid I might try to get out or worse, invite my half-blood friends to this place. As if…" he added darkly as he eyed the grimy room.

Tonks flopped down heavily on the bottom of the stairs. "What're we going to do?" she groaned.

"Get drunk?" Sirius suggested.

"Kindof hard to do so when you've drank it all already." Remus pointed out.

"Not so." Sirius said with an evil grin.

"Oh?" Tonks asked, perking up.

Sirius crawled over a few more boxes before going over to a halfopen, moldy green crate in the corner that Remus had never noticed before. He pulled out another bottle of firewhiskey from it- and another.

"So THAT's where it's all been coming from." Remus said darkly.

"No- Dung was just looking for a place to leave it all for awhile and so he left it here- he should be back any day now to pick it up again."

"It'll all be empty thanks to you."

"God Remus, stop being such a gloomy bastard."

"Easy for you to say- you're not the one that has to clean up when you get sick."

"No one said that you had to."

"Fine." Remus snapped. "Next time I won't bother and you can just fall asleep in your own vomit."

Sirius grinned. "Very touchy these days- I was going to ask if it was that time of the month again for you- but I know better."

Remus gave him a nasty look.

Tonks sat there watching their banter with a polite smile.

Sirius tossed a bottle to her with a chuckle before handing one to Remus. "Though-" he smirked. "Friendly, perfect, good boy, Mr. Moony wouldn't do such a thing would he?"

Remus took the bottle from his friend with a scowl. "Try me."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and Remus took up the challenge at once. He tore off the cap and grabbing the bottle by the neck began drinking it down. It made his throat burn and tasted absolutely vile but he'd be damned if Sirius got him on something like this.

When he had drained a good amount- he stopped and holding the bottle in his hand, glared at his friend.

"Impressive." Sirius said the smallest of smiles on his face.

Tonks looked rather dumbstruck. "Did I really just see that?" she asked in an awed voice.

"Moony's a better drinker than he lets on sometimes." Sirius yawned. "Doesn't do it enough though. Probably should."

"You do enough drinking for the both of us I think." Remus said, sitting himself down on one of the boxes. He wondered why he had been provoked by Sirius- he wondered if it had been Tonks's presence that partly made him reckless. He would probably regret this later.

Tonks opened her bottle and took a sip, watching her cousin collapse onto one of the boxes as well. "So." She said cheerfully.

Sirius leaned back against an old dresser and sat bolt upright-

"ARGH!"

"What's wrong?"

"Something poked me!"

Remus rolled his eyes and leaned over to see an exceptionally piece of sharp wood protruding from one of the drawers. He tugged at it until it came loose and tossed into the murky water.

"You alright?" Tonks asked her cousin.

Sirius was rubbing his back. "Yeah…" he said sourly. "Am I bleeding, Remus?"

"It couldn't have hurt you THAT badly." Remus said quickly scanning his friends back for puncture wounds. Not bad enough to scar you for life."

"Oy- you want to see something?"

Remus raised an eyebrow warily. "Do I?" he asked pointedly.

Sirius wasn't listening- he pulled up his ragged robes a bit and displayed his left- high-heeled shoed foot to him and Tonks. "Look!"

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Scar." Sirius said. "Right there going across my ankle? See?"

Remus looked more closely and indeed saw a thin, pale scar running across his friend's foot and ankle. "Hm. How'd you get that?"

"From my motorbike- the time I got in that terrific accident and ended up in a muggle hospital."

"Mine's not that bad." Tonks piped up. "I have one though-" she screwed up her eyes for a moment thinking hard. Then she leaned over and picked up her robes high enough to see her pale knee- one of them having a molted scar on it.

"Got it when I was a kid." she said. "Usually hide it with morphing these days but got it when I tumbled down the stairs and smashed right through the glass door. Of course I kept picking at it so it wouldn't heal and here's the scar still."

"Ouch." Sirius said.

"I think of everyone- Harry probably wins the scar contest." Remus said.

"True." Tonks agreed. "Without a doubt."

"I dunno." Sirius said slowly. "Remus could give him a run for his money."

"Sirius, that's not even funny. Harry's scar is much more…"

"Scar-ish? Manly? Sexy?" Sirius sniggered. "I dunno why you put so much effort into hiding it all the time Moony- women would love it."

"Where's your scar?" Tonks asked sitting up further on her side of the room, looking closely at him as if it might just miraculously appear.

"On my arm." Remus said mildly.

"You could totally come up with a good story for it too- like you were attacked by a mob of killer geese-"

"'A mob of killer geese?'" Tonks repeated. "Honestly Sirius, what goes through your drunken mind I wonder?"

"That's exactly what I'll tell women- a mob of geese attacked me and left me with this one nasty scar on my arm-"

"How did you get it?" Tonks asked curiously.

Remus hesitated before answering her. "I received it when I was little and bitten by a werewolf."

Tonks's face contorted into a sad, surprised expression. "Oh, I'm sorry Remus-"

"No, don't apologize. It's fine." Remus said with a reassuring smile.

"Well whatever you say bit you- women would totally find it sexy." Sirius said.

"I don't know what woman in her right mind would say such a thing."

"Hey! Tonks is a woman! Lets ask her opinion!" Sirius said suddenly.

"No."

"Why not? Get a real woman's opinion, eh?"

"No, I won't-"

"LADIES AND GENTS!" Sirius bellowed as if he were speaking to an imaginary audience. "TONIGHT REMUS LUPIN WILL BE GOING THE FULL MONTY!"

Tonks laughed.

"Shut up, Padfoot." Remus smiled. "Just shut up."

"STRIP! STRIP! STRIP!" Sirius chanted. Tonks applauded wildly, playing along.

Remus sighed and reluctantly pulled off his wet sweater.

Sirius wolf whistled. Remus glared at him and set about trying to roll up his sleeve.

"Merlin's balls, how many layers do you wear Moony?" he snorted as he watched Remus struggle with his shirt. "Just take the damn shirt off as well."

Remus blushed. "No." He was very thin, pale and his back still had ugly scars on that were still healing from the recent full moon. The last thing he wanted was Tonks to see him like that.

"Do you want me and Tonks to take it off for you?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

Tonks perked up at this Remus noticed, much to his mixed and pleasure and dismay.

"No. No. I'll do it myself." said Remus as he continued rolling up his sleeve. Finally he reached his upper arm and pulled up the rest of his shirt-exposing his old scar.

There was a moment of silence. Remus started at the water covered floor-embarrassed. It was a terrible, hideous scar and why he had showed them knowing that it would only worsen Tonks' opinion of him must have stupidity and temporary insanity. That or the alcohol which was making his head buzz…

"I like it." Tonks said. Remus looked up at her in disbelief to see she was smiling at him. "It looks real tough."

"I have to say-in a completely heterosexual way-" Sirius added hurriedly, Remus thought the effect was ruined as Sirius was still wearing women's purple high-heels. "That it's sexy and you should stop wearing so many heavy, skin covering sweaters."

"And I concur!" Tonks said loudly with a rougish wink.

Remus smiled. "Cheers, mates."

"Well-" Sirius yawned, "Moony wins the scar contest then and you have a real woman's opinion that it truly is a sexy scar."

There was a moment of silence where they all stared at each other sleepily from their boxes.

"You know what might go really well with those shoes, Sirius?" Tonks asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Those yellow, sequined Siegfried Geminus tights."

Sirius's head snapped up and he turned to glare at Remus whose face was expressionless- except for the corners of his mouth which he couldn't stop from twitching.

"You told her about that?!?!"

"I was going to show her the picture."

"You son of a bitch!" Sirius said affectionately. "I can't believe you Moony…well I'm slightly reassured that at least she'll never see the actual picture of it though-"

"Why not?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Because Remus incidentally is also in that picture dressed as Charon Miller, the drummer of the Screaming Skulls." Sirius smirked.

Tonks turned immediately to stare in amazement at Remus who was unable to hide his smile now.

"NO WAY!" she exclaimed.

"Alas, it's true." Remus said in mock tones of embarrassment. "It was a costume party so all of us went as band mates from the Screaming Skulls."

"I want to see this picture!" Tonks shouted.

"No." Sirius and Remus said at the same time and then burst out laughing.

"Pleeeeeease?" Tonks begged.

"Now Tonks-" Sirius said steadily, wagging his finger in front of her face. "-it's hardly appropriate for young ladies such as yourself to see something like that- although Lily herself was dressed as….who was she again?"

Remus furrowed his brow as he thought about that for a moment. "Carna Henderson, I believe-popular female singer of her at that time." He turned to Tonks and added in knowing tone, "Sirius had a poster of her on his wall."

"I did not!" Sirius said loudly.

"Yes, you did."

"It wasn't me- maybe James…that's why he married Lily- I'm sure."

Remus leaned over to Tonks. "It was Sirius's poster." He whispered.

Tonks giggled.

"But that's right!" Sirius said, with a bark of laughter, not having noticed Remus and Tonks's conversation. "Lily was Carna Henderson that time and was carrying that riding crop."

"And that is another reason of why that picture is under lock and key- not only were we all completely smashed in it, but we are all dressed as 70's sex symbols. Imagine what Harry would think of us and his parents if he ever saw it."

"I think he'd appreciate it." Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. "He might want to jump off a broomstick and die as well."

"I think it provides an interesting portrait on what his parents were really like. The kid probably considers them demi-gods from what people tell him nowadays, something which NEITHER of them were."

"Especially James." Remus said.

"I was going to say Lily." Sirius grinned.

"Alright- so they both were too…."

"'Naughty' I suppose would be the word to use if you wanted to put it in polite terms." Sirius laughed.

Remus sighed and shook his head.

Sirius looked thoughtful. "You know, those tights really did cause quite a bit of trouble for me now that I think about it. I had a girlfriend; I forget her name now-"

"What a surprise." Remus said dryly.

"-and she was looking around for something at my place and came across the yellow tights. She thought I was seeing someone else, another girl-- so she threw a fit and I was too embarrassed to tell her that they were really mine- so I lied to her instead and said that I was seeing someone…she threw a toaster at me…and we broke up shortly after."

Tonks giggled.

Sirius leaned back, smiling reminiscently before a slight frown appeared on his face. "Something smells funny." he said, leaning over his box and sniffing the air closest to Tonks.

"Probably the tester perfume my friend let me borrow." She said. "It's vanilla scented."

"Vanilla? Vanilla is so plain." Sirius snorted.

"It has the reputation for being plain." Tonks said. "Doesn't mean it is though. At one time in history it was considered very unique."

"I prefer chocolate." Remus said.

"Moony, you'd eat anything if it was coated in chocolate."

"Probably."

"Ah-ha! You just admitted your kinky side!"

"What?"

"You said 'you'd eat anything coated in chocolate' which means-"

"Oh god." Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Sirius."

"Coated in chocolate…" Sirius snickered.

Remus buried his head in his hands, completely exasperated.

Tonks started laughing.

Sirius took another long swig of firewhiskey before asking Tonks, "So is there a bloke in your life now young Tonks?"

"No." she said airily as she took a swig of her own firewhiskey.

"Why?" Sirius asked, looking surprised.

"Because there just isn't one right now."

"You're twenty-two!"

"You're thirty-six."

"But you're not stuck in your parents' old house. What are my options? Buckbeak? The portrait of my Great-aunt Cassiopeia?"

"You won't be stuck in here forever."

"Sure." Sirius said gloomily.

Tonks turned to Remus. "Well what about you Professor?" she asked. "Is there a woman for you?"

Sirius started laughing loudly.

Remus felt his ears turn red. "No, there isn't."

She raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "What's so funny?" she asked coolly.

"The thought of Remus actually dating someone!"

"Well what's so funny about it?" Tonks asked him. "He's not stuck in a house, and he's a very nice man."

"I'm a werewolf Tonks." Remus gently reminded her.

"So?"

He was so taken aback by her unexpected reply he could only stare.

"What?" she asked. "There's got to be some women out there that don't mind your condition and see past it just to be with you."

"I'm afraid that I haven't encountered any woman that thinks like that yet." Remus said quietly. "Lycanthropy is a frightening prospect to put up with, and most women are quite sensible to seek their futures with someone else."

Tonks looked incredulously at him as if she couldn't believe that anyone in their right mind would think such a thing.

"Well, that's complete bollocks I think." she said. "You're so nice…"

He decided it was time for an immediate change in the conversation. "Thank you Nymphadora."

"TONKS!" she cried, before taking another long drink from her bottle of firewhiskey.

"We're old blokes now, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed in a drunken half sob, as he threw an arm around him. "We're going to die, and then we're going to die and become worm food- the worms will be crapping us all out in the soil and we'll become trees-"

"You are amazingly drunk right now." Remus smiled.

"But Tonks is right-" he said, shaking his arm roughly. "We're old. We're the male version of moth-ball smelling spinisters who knit bizarre tea cozies for their cats. No woman would ever pick us poor sods over someone younger and-"

"Oh, I prefer older men-more often than not." Tonks said with a wink in Remus's direction.

Halfway through a large sip of his whiskey, Remus gagged and ended up coughing most of it all over the place when he heard Tonks's words.

It was going to be a long night…

* * *

Several hours later with the filthy flooded water below, having risen a few more terrible inches, Remus was very cold and utterly exhausted. They had attempted to play several drinking games, an unsuccessful attempt of 'Eye spy' where all Tonks kept spying was a bottle of Firewhiskey and even tried singing a few more songs from the broken radio before Sirius bumped into a pile of stacked boxes and sent the radio smashing ontop of Remus's head. Now, after spending the past half hour trying to fix it, and with a pounding head-ache Remus was carefully setting it back ontop of the bookcase.

"I'm just saying it everyone else is thinking it-" Tonks said suddenly.

"Firewhiskey!" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus just shook his head.

"Come'on Moony-" Sirius said as he grabbed drunkenly onto the front of Remus's robes and pulling his friend into a half bow as he fell to his knees. "Wha'da ya thinking?"

"I'm thinking you've had way too much to drink." Remus said pulling his robes free of Sirius's grasp.

"That blue eyed bitch!" Sirius sang.

"-witch, Sirius!" Remus corrected him.

"She broke my fart-

She looked at me… and I lost my heart!"

"Close enough." Remus sighed as Tonks laughed hysterically and rather drunkenly.

Sirius fell forward onto the boxes and lay there humming the flattest version of the song that Remus had ever heard. Within seconds, Sirius was snoring.

Tonks grinned sleepily back at him from over at her box.

As his eyelids slowly fell and shut, he wondered what time it was. He wondered when help would come…or if it came…Order members occasionally didn't stop by the house for several days at a time. What if they were trapped down here and ended up going mad from the Firewhiskey and lack of food? Maybe he'd catch hypothermia and die. No, they'd probably all drown long before that…

"AGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Remus woke with a start, he had no idea just how long he had been sleeping, but he woke just in time as a red blur came smashing into him. Tonks had leaped from her box to his and nearly flattened him against the bookcase.

"Wha-?"

But Tonks was screaming hysterically as she clung to him. He looked down and let out a yelp of surprise at what he saw floating in the water.

Sirius had woken with a start like him and let out such a high-pitched scream, Remus winced.

A dead, half-rotting Puffskein was floating its way over to them, it's blank, grey eyes staring up at them and its once fuzzy body now resembled a moldy, half eaten block of swiss cheese.

The three of them all were squeezed on Remus's box and as the Puffskein suddenly turned direction in the water and began slowly drifting its way closer to them, they all screamed and desperately tried to scramble their way over eachother to get to Sirius's empty box.

Suddenly there was a creaking noise from the top of the stairs. "Is someone down here?"

Tonks screamed in reply. "HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!"

There were quick footsteps and Kingsley Shacklebolt appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking terrified. Upon seeing the three of them squeezed on Sirius's box in the flooded water, he began to laugh.

"KINGSLEY!" Tonks cried. "HELP US OUT!"

"How-on earth did- did you three-?"

"We'll answer it later, just help us get the hell out of here!"

A few eventful minutes went by as the three of them crossed to safety and managed to avoid the dead Puffskein.

Remus had never seen Kingsley laughing so hard. He all was all but wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as he climbed the stairs and they followed him into the entrance hall.

"Sirius," Remus said in his voice which was hoarser than usual from the screaming and all the firewhiskey. "You have a very feminine shriek."

"No, I don't." his friend growled.

"I just heard it too." Tonks said, looking very drained and disheveled. "It sounded ridiculous and if I wasn't suffering from a terrible hangover, I'd be taking the piss out of you right now. However, I'm going to get my wand, before some other freak disaster strikes us."

They all went into the kitchen together where Tonks checked the time, "Oh goody, just in time for work." she said grimly. "Why couldn't you have saved us later today Kingsley so that I wouldn't have to go?"

"Sorry," said Kinsley. "Next time I'll let you all drown instead. You're all very lucky I even came by; I was just dropping something off for Mad-Eye. I'm on my way out now actually."

"Cheers. I'll see you soon." Tonks said with a farewell wave to her fellow auror as he left the room. She yawned hugely and rubbed her eyes. "I'm making myself some coffee, I feel sick."

"I'll have some too." Sirius groaned.

"I'm going to make some tea." said Remus. His skull was pounding painfully something awful but he was determined to make the best of it.

"You and the blasted tea again." Tonks smiled.

"Nymphadora, you know I don't like coffee."

"My head hurts, and the sound of my first name just made the pain double."

"Well to me it just cleared up my head considerably. Nymphadora, Nymphadora…"

Tonks swore before going off into the pantry to find some coffee beans to grind.

Sirius looked at him closely before looking back to the pantry door, and then back to him again. "Were you just FLIRTING with my cousin there?"

"Of course not!" he said. "I was just teasing her about her name, it's just a joke we have- that's all, well now that I think about it, its not really teasing but-"

"Remus," Sirius said with a serious expression. "There's a name for that sort of behavior."

"Oh?" Remus asked curiously. "What is it?"

"Flirting." His friend said with a barklike laugh.

"DAMN!" Tonks exclaimed as she came back into the room. "There's none left."

"Shit." Sirius grumbled.

"Tea, anyone?" Remus asked holding up the kettle. He would have to think about what Sirius had said later when he was actually completely sober and his head didn't hurt like it did then.

"I'm going to go look for a remedy." Sirius said, as he quickly left the room.

"Probably another bottle of firewhiskey." Remus remarked drlyly.

Tonks sighed heavily. "I don't really want to stop him."

"Then I will. I can't afford to spend anymore time these days nursing my hung-over friend." He tapped the tea kettle with his wand and turned to go when Tonks's voice stopped him.

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Didn't the drummer Charon Miller, who you dressed up as for that costume party, used to wear lipstick?"

Remus smiled and tried to turn his head away but Tonks jumped in front of him, her dark eyes twinkling. "Didn't he?"

"I don't recall." Remus said lightly, but giving her the quickest of winks before he sidestepped her and started to walk up the stairs.

Tonks stared after him, her mouth hanging open in shock. It wasn't until he had reached the top of the stairs when she managed to recover her voice,

"I WANT TO SEE THAT PICTURE!!!!!!"

* * *

Tonks went to work that morning, trying her hardest not to look like a hungover zombie. Unfortunately several people at work did notice and asked why she was so tired which left her trying to come up with a decent excuse than the truth which was, "Oh, well I spent last night trapped in a basement with a convicted murderer and a werewolf." It sounded like the beginning of a joke or something.

At around noon, a long-awaited for package and letter came in for her at work and Tonks knew that she had to get back to Grimmauld Place that night to deliver it in person to the person it was truly for.

It was late when she left work and she was still exhausted from the night before but she bought herself a coffee and a copy of The Daily Prophet before she went over to Grimmauld Place. She was in the kitchen, drinking up the last of her coffee as she finished reading a Daily Prophet article about werewolves that she had somehow started and couldn't put down. She would go upstairs in a minute- she just wanted to finish it…

Moody suddenly clunked into the room and Tonks ignored him until she realized he had walked right up to her.

"We're learning self defense tonight." Moody growled.

Tonks looked up from her paper at that. "What are you talking about? No way."

Moody bristled. "Now see here Tonks- you're one of the few women in the Order and you're on the front lines a lot. Because you're a young female you have to learn defense that's fitting to your gender."

She frowned. "Mad-Eye, I went through this already in Auror training."

"You learned the 'polite' version." Moody snorted. "I'm talking about learning to quickly disarm an opponent and really take him down. The less accepted and more realistically common way."

"You mean the now illegal, Moody way."

"Exactly," he said, looking pleased that she had caught on so quickly.

"Well, who's going to teach me?" Tonks asked curiously.

"I am."

Tonks stared at him in horror as she felt her brain start to melt. It would be like fighting with a half-crazed, veteran grandfather.

"April Fools?" she asked weakly. "Please tell me that this is someone's idea of a very bad joke."

Moody's scarred and mutilated face turned itself into a frightening scowl. "Stand up."

"Wait! When are we starting?"

"Did you not hear me earlier, TONIGHT and NOW!"

This was utterly ridiculous. She nervously stood up wondering what on earth a 'self-defense' class with the craziest wizard alive was going to be like. But as crazy as he was, she had an enormous amount of respect for him and so she obeyed and stood up facing him, if not somewhat apprehensively. Moody obviously thought she needed instruction in self-defense and perhaps she might actually learn a thing or two from him…

"Gimme your wand."

"What?"

"You won't need it for today's lesson."

Tonks gulped. "As soon as you put down yours."

"What?"

"I'd prefer to be on an even footing I you please, constant vigilance- you know."

She thought he was going to be furious but to her surprise, his scarred face twisted into the smallest of smiles as he set down his wand on the table. His magical eye was watching it carefully though out of paranoia. "In a real fight you might not be on an even footing." He said.

"Yeah, okay."

"Now the first thing I am going to teach you- is what to do if a man tries to grab your shoulder from behind …"

An hour later, and with many bruises and bumps, Tonks was getting more and more irritated with the ex-auror who was constantly bellowing every mistake she was making.

"Have you EVER had a girlfriend?" she asked him angrily as she pulled free of his "attackers" grip.

He glared. "That is none of your business, young lady."

"Well you don't have one now and I can tell you why. No woman in her right mind would think this is romantic."

"It's not supposed to be!" Moody snarled.

"You need to get out more- go clubbing- I'm sure I could find SOMEONE your age that you could get along with. I have a couple of friends with good connections-"

"I'm not interested!" he bellowed, giving her a look that would have sent the entire Auror office running for cover.

"Sure you are." Tonks said. "You're a man just like anyone else. You just need get out more and fix some personal problems- hygiene, paranoia, bad language, rude behavior, perhaps investing in an eyepatch-"

"Cheeky girl." Moody spat- the venom in his voice would have killed a dragon.

"I don't understand what it is with men!" Tonks cried. "You're a man, you tell me! What is wrong with you all?"

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about- nor do I care."

"What is it?" Tonks exclaimed. "With certain…MEN in the Order giving up with themselves at such an early age! You're not dead yet! There's still life in you!"

Moody stared hard at her with his normal eye and unless Tonks's own eyes were deceiving her- she saw a faint smirk spread across his scarred face.

"I imagine…" he said slowly. "That some particular MEN in the Order have more than one reason for remaining bachelors."

"Their stupid reasons, whatever they are." Tonks said huffily. "Why do you men even need reasons?"

"I imagine it's because we feel the need to come up with as many excuses as possible so that we won't get stuck having to date women like you." He retorted.

Tonks gaped at him. "Oh, that was LOW." she said.

"Politeness is not one of my renowned virtues, lass. Honesty is."

She gasped at his double insult. "You-"

"Watch your left side!" Moody bellowed. "What kind of an attack is that? You left your whole left side exposed! Put that foot back- no! The other one!"

But Tonks didn't care and kicked his leg in anger anyways.

Unfortunately she had forgotten which leg contained a wooden stump and it was with that her foot collided with. The wooden leg came right off, falling with a loud crash and rolling across the dusty floor.

"OW!" she screamed, hopping around on one foot while holding the other foot which felt like she had broken several of her toes. Meanwhile, Moody was having troubles of his own. Only having one leg to stand on, he spun about wildly trying to find his wooden one which was laying under the table a good three feet away from them.

The door opened and Bill Weasley walked inside carrying a bunch of papers under her arms.

"Dancing class?" he smiled, watching them spin about.

"Self defense!" Moody spat grabbing a chair for nearby support.

"Seems to be going well."

"Owwwww…" Tonks moaned, clutching her foot.

"Lesson one is over!" Moody snapped. "We'll do this again later, some other time. Now get my leg for me."

Tonks gingerly hobbled over on her injured foot and dutifully retrieved Moody's wooden leg and handed it back to him.

Moody fixed his leg, cursing and swearing as a pale-faced Remus Lupin walked into the room.

"Bill, here's another report from Sturgis that I forgot to give you earlier." He was saying. He stopped short as he saw Tonks. "Hello, Nymphadora."

"I am going to hex you into eternity if you say that again." She threatened.

He smiled anyways and handed the paper over to Bill before looking down at the newspaper that Tonks had been reading earlier. With a slight frown he picked up the paper and began reading it.

"I'll get in touch with you later to arrange our next lesson." Moody growled as he picked up his wand. "Keep practicing."

Tonks glared at him as he left the room and looked back at Bill who was searching the kitchen cupboards for something to eat and Remus who was so absorbed in the newspaper article he looked as if nothing else in the world could possibly disrupt him.

"You would have gotten along well with this bloke that came into Gringotts today Tonks." Bill said as he threw out a can of stale biscuits. "Had a multi-coloured Mohawk and about a million piercings."

"Tattoos?" she asked curiously.

"Several." Bill said. "I was going to give him your number."

"Haha, your so funny." she said as Bill went off into the back pantry to search for something edible. She looked over at Remus who was still intently reading the paper.

"So how about those Chudley Cannons?" she asked loudly.

He didn't even blink.

Tonks rolled her eyes, grabbed her wand from the table and poked the back of the newspaper with it. She poked far too hard however and ended up putting a wand-sized hole right through the paper.

"Oops." She said honestly as she pulled her wand back out.

Remus looked at the hole for a moment, gave her a half exasperated look and buried his head behind the paper again.

"I think I'll get a permanent tattoo of my own." She announced loudly.

Finally, Remus's eyes appeared over the top of the Daily Prophet. "Where?"

"I dunno. Someplace where you can't see it until you've searched around a bit." she said with a mischievous wink.

Remus blushed and quickly hid his burning face behind the paper with the large hole in it.

Tonks looked at him curiously. He was so cute when he got embarrassed. And why something like a tattoo should embarrass him made all the more adorable. He was such a gentleman. A rare thing these days.

"By the way, I meant to ask you- where is Sirius?"

"Brooding upstairs again I should think." Remus said thoughtfully, putting down the paper at last even though his face was still brilliantly pink. "He seems to be doing that an awful lot of it these days even when he isn't drunk. I think he's fallen into one of his dark moods again."

"I brought him a present." Tonks said, picking up her package and showing it to him.

Remus eyed the wrapped platter of cookies in her arms. "Very thoughtful."

"I didn't make them myself, but their still special."

He smiled. "Thank you for doing this."

She knew what he was talking about and nodded. "I'll be upstairs."

* * *

"Sirius?" Tonks said as she cautiously cracked open the old, heavy door and tried to peer inside.

"Come in." came the gloomy reply.

Tonks opened up the door the rest of the way to see Sirius crouched in the dark corner absentmindedly stroking Buckbeak's feathery neck.

With the dark shadows over his pale, gaunt face and his fathomless, deadened grey eyes he looked positively frightening.

"How are you?" she asked him as cheerfully as she could.

"Fine." He said coldly.

She bowed respectfully to Buckbeak who had been eyeing her suspiciously. He relaxed after that and bowed shortly to her, allowing her to approach.

"I brought you a present." She said holding out her platter of cookies.

Sirius said nothing. He didn't even look up at her. The purple shoes were long since gone.

"Mind if I sit here beside you?"

Sirius gave a non-committal shrug.

Tonks sat next to him and showed him the cookies. 'Look!" she said brightly. "My Mum made them- so they're actually half-way decent. I could never bake something like this- I tried to make a cake once and nearly burned the house down. Mum never let me back in the kitchen again." Her smile faded somewhat as she stared at her cousin's unmoved face. It was if he were carved of stone. She wondered if he was even hearing her.

She sat there, trying desperately to think of what to say next when to her surprise, Sirius spoke in a voice that was so soft and tired, it scared her worse than anything else could have.

"God, Tonks-" Sirius said quietly resting his head against the wall and shutting his eyes. "You have no idea how terrible it was. Thirteen years on a godforsaken hell hole. The wind and the cold- the cold…It was there all the time- an ever raging winter. It went deeper than skin level- it got sucked into the marrow of your bones- right into your very core. And the screams- the people inside the place screaming out their worse memories and moments before becoming the shells of the men they once were. Thirteen years…" he shuddered. "Thirteen long years…"

She decided that it was then the last bit of her present could be given. "You know," she said slowly. "I remember my Mum used to cry a lot after you were first arrested. She was so convinced of your innocence. She personally begged the Ministry to give you a fair trial she was so convinced of your innocence. She didn't care what others said. She was always one to dream even when the facts were laid clear in front of her- so I think she always inwardly believed you were innocent." She stared at her cousin's waxen, emotionless face. "That's got to count for something, doesn't it? One person out there believed you all that time and actually fought for you?"

He sighed, but said nothing.

"When I was little," she said quietly. "I was playing inside the house and wandered into the room my Mum never told me to go into. There wasn't anything dangerous in it or anything, but she had a few prized possessions in there that were very delicate. One of them was a black vase, with greyhounds on it."

Sirius said nothing, but she could tell he was listening.

"I still don't know how it happened, maybe it was the breeze from the open window, but at any rate it fell off the display table and shortly after I went in there to play. My Mum came in when she heard the noise and thought I had broken it. I told her I hadn't done it but she didn't believe me, neither did my Father when he got home from work and so I was punished and I spent the rest of the day crying in my room I was so miserable."

She wiggled her feet about on the dusty floor as she continued on. "And all I could think of was the injustice of it all. I knew it was my Mother's favorite vase and I felt terrible I had broken it. I thought she would never forgive me even though I was innocent. That's all I wanted was her forgiveness."

"We moved on from the broken vase disaster and although she said it was alright and my punishment was eventually lifted, I knew for awhile after that she was very upset."

"Recently," she said slowly. "I wrote her a letter and told her the whole story from my point of view again and asked that if she believed my side of the story, would she still forgive me, and if she didn't believe me, would she still forgive me anyways?"

She handed him her mother's letter without another word.

He stared up at the cracked ceiling for a moment longer before turning to look at her and gently took the letter and opened it staring at the curvy script,

'_Nymphadora,_

_I have no idea why you sent me an owl but me and your father were pleased to hear from you. Perhaps you could drop by one of these days? I understand you're busy at work but it would be lovely to see you again. _

_Your question about the greyhound vase, of course I'd forgive you. I'd apologize too for ever accusing you. It's just that it was very suspicious circumstances at the time and my mind jumped to the only logical conclusion. But its all in the past now, isn't it? I've always said, 'Leave the past behind'. But I'm sorry that the vase was bothering you that badly. And yes, even if I didn't believe you, I would still forgive you._

_Your father wants me to ask if you've found another boyfriend. He still hasn't quite recovered since you brought home, 'Leafboy' or whatever his name was._

_Hope all is well and pop by whenever you can._

_Hugs and kisses._

_Mum'_

Sirius stared at in silence for a long time. For a moment, Tonks saw a strange flicker of some deep emotion in his eyes and could have sworn that just for a second, a tear was starting to form in his eye. Sirius blinked however, and as quickly as she had seen it, it was gone. He wasn't obviously any more cheerful to say the least, but the deadened look in his eyes seem to have eased up a little.

"Who is 'Leafboy'?" he asked, looking down at the letter again.

She groaned. "Ugh, please let's not get started."

"Who was he?"

"His name was Carlos Elrond Earthchild. We met on the subway. He was one of my old boyfriends. He was a musician with long beaded hair and he was a killer bongo drum player."

"Ah."

"My Dad didn't like him very much, especially after he informed my dad that his past life was mostly that of a pond-dwelling red painted gorilla.

"What, were you desperate or something?"

"No. He was a very nice man. Very unique personality."

"Ah." Sirius said, the smallest of smiles spreading across his face.

She grinned. "Let's just say that all of his many outfits would have made Siegfried Geminus look completely ordinary."

* * *

_Author's note: I still hate computers. A LOT._


	5. Chocolate

_Authors note: Wooo! Two chapters in one day! Go me! Alright...the next chapter might take a little while to put up but it is my hope to get as much of this story up before June 19th so expect it within a day or two. _

_Oh yeah, the POV in this short chapter switches to Sirius for a short time. I think this'll be the only chapter that does so, but yeah. Whatever. It's still readable. _

_I dunno if I ever mentioned the timeline of this story. Here's what you need to know... I have no idea. I'm kinda just writing for random days that took place between Order work and such from OOTP to HBP. The first half of this fanfic is OOTP, and the second half (you'll def. know when that takes place) is HBP. I think its obvious, but just putting it out there for those that were wondering._

_And thank you again to all my lovelies that dropped a review! And on that note, onward to the story!_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Five-Chocolate**

Tonks walked into the cold, dusty room being very careful not to make a lot of noise like she usually did. With nights getting so busy now with office work and such, she was visiting her cousin every free morning she could squeeze in. As she opened the door she saw her dark haired cousin, sitting in a tall, high-backed armchair and reading an enormously thick book.

"Wotcher Sirius!" she said cheerfully and then froze as she saw a familiar pale, gaunt man sleeping on the coach nearby. "Oh!" she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't bother." Sirius said loudly. "He won't wake up…watch."

Before Tonks could suggest anything otherwise, Sirius snapped his book shut and decisively dropped it onto the hard, wooden floor.

The book was heavy enough to make the floor tremble and the noise was loud enough to rival the explosion of a small bomb.

Tonks gasped and watched in amazement as Remus Lupin didn't move a muscle. He laid there, arm dangling off the couch and continued to sleep on with his mouth slightly open.

"See?" said Sirius. "He wouldn't wake up if a dragon came smashing in through the ceiling and demolished the entire house."

Tonks went over and sat in the other armchair opposite Sirius. "He's a very sound sleeper then?"

Sirius looked over at his tired, ill-looking friend and said, "No, he's exhausted. The day following the full moon he's so sore and tired he falls into this impenetrable coma."

Tonks looked at Remus sadly, "Poor Remus." She said.

"I offered to keep him company this time as Padfoot," Sirius said bitterly. "But he wouldn't hear of it. He kept saying it was too risky, even me being transformed and everything. I guess that all those full moons at school were different." He bent down and picked retrieved his book. Tonks caught a glimpse of the front cover, 'Persecution of the bestial, violent, half-breeds.'

Sirius saw the direction of her look and grinned. "It's great to get a laugh out of. I was reading it out loud to Moony for awhile until he fell asleep. Since then I've been reading it to myself."

"Could I borrow it sometime after you're finished with it?" asked Tonks.

"Interested in hunting down some 'dangerous, half-breeds cuz'?" Sirius asked slyly.

"No more then you are." Tonks replied coolly.

Sirius let out a barklike laugh, "Do you fancy Remus?" he asked.

Tonks gave a start when she heard Sirius's blunt and unexpected question. "What?" she asked, stalling for time as she tried to think of an appropriate answer that wouldn't cause her shame and torment in the near future.

Sirius's dark grey eyes were twinkling, the usual deadened look Azkaban had placed there for many years had been momentarily pushed aside.

"Do you fancy him?" Sirius repeated, a smile slowly starting to spread across his face. "Do you passionately love him? Do you find yourself more often then not, daydreaming about him in-ahem- more than simply platonic ways? Do you want to throw yourself ontop of him and start furiously snogging him? Do you want to-?"

"Stop it! I get the picture!" Tonks interrupted her cheeks rather pink from the spreading blush that she had no power to stop.

"Do you?" inquired Sirius.

"I don't see what business that would be of yours!" she said huffily.

To her dismay, Sirius was looking insanely smug. "I'm just curious."

"Well there's nothing going on between us of that sort if that's what you mean."

"Oh I know that. I was just wondering about the future."

"And what evidence do you have that would remotely suggest that there would be a future between us?" Tonks glared.

A knowing, smile spread across Sirius's face. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

Tonks flushed as she felt her heart leap. "What'd you mean?" she asked quickly, trying not to sound overly excited or hopeful.

"Nothing…nothing…" he said while opening his book. "If you don't even fancy him, what's the point in telling you?"

_Oh so that's your game._ Tonks thought angrily. _You want me to openly confess that I'm mad about him so you can rub it in. Well you shouldn't bother trying…I'm above such childish nonsense._

Sirius found his page again and began reading again. Tonks sat there trying to appear cool and reserved and not at all infuriated with her evil cousin.

Sirius flipped the page and kept reading.

"WELL?" she demanded, unable to keep up her act. "You can at least tell me!"

"Why bother?" shrugged Sirius.

"Well-" Tonks floundered. "It would be nice to…to just know. I mean-you can't just say something so…so…surprising and leave me hanging!"

"Why not?" he smiled as he looked up at her from over the top of his book.

Tonks opened her mouth furiously and paused trying to think of a good reason besides: 'Oh, I'm pretty sure that I've fallen in love with him and up until now I wasn't sure if he even felt the same.'

Sirius laughed again as he watched her struggle in silence for the right words.

"Fine, I'll tell you." He said with a mischievous look. He set down his book, stretched, yawned loudly, and began slowly and deliberately taking his time to get rid of the crick in his neck, crack his knuckles, stretch out his feet…

Tonks folded her arms and waited impatiently, tapping her foot on the cold floor.

"He looks at you…" Sirius finally began. "More often than is necessary in my opinion. At meetings, more then once, I've caught him staring at you when he should be paying attention to whomever's talking. Remus is the only one I ever knew that could stay fully awake and take notes for Professor Binns 'History of Magic' classes. If he could keep his undying attention on a boring history teacher who could put the whole world to sleep if he wished, its very interesting that he's not paying attention to the exciting Order meetings."

Tonks tried not to look excited on receiving this news but her look of happiness shone through on her face and Sirius seemed to have noticed it.

"And secondly," he continued lazily as he leaned back in the chair. "Since I've known Remus for many years, and have been a loyal, dedicated, and thoughtful friend to him-"

Tonks let out an incredulous snort at that.

"Well, the point is, I've known him long enough to get to know his true personality. Although a lot people don't know it, he hides a lot of feelings under that noble, self-sacrificing skin. That's not to say that he's not like that on the inside as well-" he added hurriedly as Tonks gave him a confused look. "But he hides a lot of his true feelings most of the time. I don't think I've ever seen him cry in front of anyone, he never yells and hardly ever gets angry. He always has a cool, level head in a crisis and whatever feelings he's having are shoved onto the backburner until he can deal with them privately and with a rational head...but I think at last he's finally experiencing a new emotion that he can't properly deal with due to inexperience." Sirius said looking triumphant and content as he finished his speech.

Tonks bit her lip, thinking for a moment before cautiously asking, "So you defiantly think he fancy's me?"

Sirius's dark eyebrows rose. "My dear cuz, I'd say that he most defiantly fancies you. Do you know, he called you sexy?"

"Now I know you're lying on that one Sirius." Tonks laughed.

"Well he did in a manner of speaking. He told me shortly after that first mission you two went on, that he thought you were very 'charming'."

"There is a huge difference between 'charming' and 'sexy', Sirius."

"Well that's Remus's way of saying you're sexy. He says funny words like that: 'charming', 'most agreeable', 'vivacious'…For him, it means the same thing as sexy, except he's a 'gentleman' and he won't say things that the rest of the world considers: normal."

"Well I think, that's charming." Tonks said sweetly.

"Whatever you think, it all comes down to the same thing. Remus is barely managing to suppress his newly discovered feelings. Of course, I'm sure Remus is trying to convince himself that he's experiencing an early mid-life crisis rather then admitting that his passionate, if not horny side that he locked away when he was young teenager had decided to surface."

"Are you expecting me to believe that he never once acted as a horny teenager?" Tonks asked with skepticism.

"To a degree. It's incredible isn't it? Remus was determined to stay a dedicated student, a loyal friend and overall a selfless boy. He was always trying to convince himself that as a werewolf, he would be crossing the line if he acted on regular teenage impulses. He fought with inwardly with himself a lot on that." Sirius laughed suddenly. "This is why it's so amusing to see Remus acting the way he is now. For years he was afraid to look sideways out of the corners of his eyes at a girl, and now he's pointblank staring at one who herself has just barely come out of the horny teenager stage."

"Haha. You're so funny, I forgot to laugh." She replied sarcastically.

"You should feel honoured that you're so 'charming' as to have brought Remus out of his incurable, 'women-are-off-limits' stage. For years we tried everything."

"I'm sure Remus appreciated that as much."

"Er, not really to tell you the truth- one time we locked him in the broom cupboard at school with Guinevere Pipher…she had great figure too- he was stuck in there for ages with her and by the time they both got out-"

Suddenly on the couch Remus rolled over. Tonks and Sirius both sat there in silence to see if he'd wake up but he slept on peacefully.

Tonks watched him wistfully. When she had first met him she thought he was nice enough and wasn't too bad to look at in a bookish, scholarly-professor sort of sense. But in time, he had more than just grown on her. Despite his prematurely lined face, his ill and tired look, his brown hair that was streaked with grey and his patched and shabby robes-she had unexpectedly, completely (and quite literally) fallen 'head-over-heals' in love with him. She realized then she had been staring at Remus for some time and turned around to face Sirius who had been watching her the whole time.

"Horny teenager caught in the act!" he hissed while his eyes were dancing with amusement. He shook his finger at her. "You wicked, naughty witch!"

"Oh shut up!" Tonks said as she jumped up and began to leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go and drop by the office."

"Oh fine then," Sirius said moodily. "Go ahead-I'll just tell Remus when he wakes up about the conversation we had when you decided to drop by for a minute."

Tonks froze in doorway and then turned around to face her cousin.

"Don't you dare tell him anything! I mean it! If you do, I will curse you so badly you'll-"

"Come'on Tonks, do you really think I'd tell him something this important to his face? Do you think I'm going to sit here and when he wakes up say, 'Remus mate, I was talking to Tonks the morning and she's mad about you.'?"

"Yes. That is exactly something you would do."

"Well fine I won't, though it would be great fun to do so."

"Sirius I'm going to hex you right here if you don't swear to me that you'll-"

"Fine! Fine! I won't tell him that you fancy him, but if I were you I'd tell him myself."

"When?"

"The sooner, the better or you might find yourself a victim of a werewolf 'attack'. Although I'm sure you wouldn't mind in the least would you? You sick minded, lustful-"

"I'll see you later Sirius." Tonks said unable to stop herself from laughing.

"See! You don't mind at all! You're laughing, amused by the dirty idea that-"

Tonks shut the door behind her with a snap and laughed softly. Remus might like her! He might actually fancy her! Of course, it was Sirius's word which meant that she was going to take all of it with a grain of salt but it was some encouragement nonetheless. Until now she had been thinking it was all unrequited. She headed down the stairs feeling so cheerful she felt she could float and attempted an excited little jig. She nearly smashed into the banister, caught herself and headed down the stairs off to work, softly singing a now favorite song of hers-

"I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand  
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain…"

* * *

The embers in the fireplace were a dying red and the room was now very dark. Sirius had returned an hour ago to find his friend still sleeping on the musty smelling couch. Tonks and a few other members of the Order had stopped by for lunch but Sirius had spent much of the day tending to Buckbeak, abusing Kreacher and half-heartedly attempting to clean apart of the attic. 

Sirius was standing by the fireplace gazing into the glowing coals-lost in thought when he heard a hoarse voice behind him.

"What time is it?"

He turned to see Remus blinking away the bleariness from his eyes, while starting to sit up.

"Too late for you to do anything you wanted to do today. You slept the whole morning, afternoon and evening."

"I did?" Remus asked quietly. "I'm sorry."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You don't have to apologize Moony, it's not like you missed much. Only a few members stopped by and from the sound of it, nothing new or exciting has happened." He managed to conceal the sourness and bitterness from his voice very well he thought.  
Not well enough. Remus's look was a little too understanding.

"Anyways-" Sirius said abruptly in an attempt to stop Remus's consolidation speech which would be rehearsed for the millionth time if Sirius didn't act quickly to distract him. "How're you feeling?"

Remus smiled and pushed some of the graying hair out of his eyes. "Fine thanks." He said, "Though I think I might need some chocolate."

"Oh, stop being such a woman Moony." Sirius snorted. "Although, while we are on the subject of women-"

"Stop it right there." Remus said with a dark look. "I'd rather not hear another one of your past adventures, exploits or anything of that sort that involve them."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond to this unfair assumption but Remus quickly added, "And I don't want to get stuck playing 'Truth' or any other vile form of entertainment with you either."

"You really do presume too much sometimes." Sirius sighed. "But no, what I was really going to say was, 'Do you fancy Tonks?'"

Remus looked startled and momentarily caught off guard before asking in a sharp voice, "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and with an affectionate grin continued, "Do you fancy her? Do you passionately love her? Do you find yourself more often then not, daydreaming about her in more than simply platonic ways? Do you want to throw yourself ontop of her and start furiously snogging her? Do you want to-?"

"You can stop right there. I get the picture!" Remus cut him off and began staring at the floor.

"Do you?" asked Sirius as he watched his friend look distractedly about, avoiding eye contact with him. This had been Remus's unique way of being embarrassed for as long as Sirius could remember.

"Well to be honest, I don't see why you are so interested." he finally said.

"Curiosity. She is my cousin you know."

Remus's brow was furrowed, he looked deep in thought before replying, "There is nothing going on between us."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "I know there isn't but I couldn't help thinking about the future perhaps."

Remus looked up suddenly. "What do you mean, 'the future'?" he asked watching him closely.

Sirius shrugged, "Oh, I've seen the way she acts around you."

Remus blinked and Sirius (who had been watching expectedly for this) saw the quick flash of hope in his friend's brown eyes before it disappeared under the unreadable expression. "What do you mean?" he repeated.

"I'm amazed you haven't noticed…and you being the more observant and watchful one of the two of us."

Remus said nothing but watched Sirius intently, waiting for him to keep talking.

Sirius poked the fire a bit with a medieval poker, knowing Remus was simply dying to know what he meant, but would never admit it openly unlike cousin Tonks. Remus would not allow his interest to get the better of him and would die before openly confessing that he was hanging onto Sirius's every word.

Sirius cleared his throat and leaned against the mantle and examined the poker with false interest before beginning. "Tonks is a very clumsy, ungraceful witch. But after careful observation I've noticed how more often then not she acts very, very clumsy around a certain someone."

Remus said nothing but Sirius could tell what he was thinking.

"I don't believe it's a coincidence." He continued. "The majority of her accidents occur shortly after you walk into the same room. She also gets much more embarrassed and flustered about them then she usually does. Of course it is awkward to be around someone you don't know very well- but then why isn't she awkward around me, or Mundungus, or Dumbledore, or any other member of the order that she isn't well acquainted wit?."

"What do you think that means then?" asked Remus.

"I think it means that she deeply fancies you."

There was a long pause as Remus stared into the small fire and Sirius watched him. Remus sighed somewhat sadly and put his head in his hands.

"Sirius, what should I do?"

"You want my advice?" Sirius asked in amazement. "Now there's a first! I believe you should corner her in the kitchen when no one else is around and snog her senseless-that is, if she doesn't attack you first."

"No you misunderstood me. I meant how should I stop and break this off now?"

Sirius stared at him in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"How can I stop this before it goes anywhere?"

"Why would you want to stop it?" Sirius asked him incredulously.

Remus looked at him and calmly said, "Sirius think about this rationally. Tonks is much younger then I am-"

"Oh for gods sakes Remus!" Sirius swore loudly. "You're not a pervert for looking at her legs rather then listening to Snape's talks! You're only human!"

Remus avoided Sirius's eyes to stare at the floor again. "Not entirely." He said quietly.

"Don't you start that shit again Remus or I'll shove this poker up your arse." He growled. "You are a human-a wizard."

"Ignoring that factor for the moment- she is still too young for me. It would never work between us. She deserves someone who could properly take care of her."

"Are you going by that stupid stance 'As long as their happy, I'm happy?' Like those crap stories where the girl runs off with another guy and the first guy is okay about it because he'd rather see her happy with someone else then less happy with him? Let me tell you something about those stories Remus- that's a bunch of dragon crap. If I loved someone so much that I felt they were the one and only-it would kill me to see them with someone else. Everyone is inwardly selfish like that, so drop the honourable act of chivalry because luckily there is no one else for Tonks except you."

Remus continued to stare at the ground-his eyes unreadable.

"If money mattered to Tonks, she wouldn't fancy you would she? And as for your condition, she doesn't care. You know, I've seen some of the books she's been reading. She's been researching werewolves for some time now."

Remus was silent.

Sirius took a deep breath and said softly, "Don't be a prat Moony. You love her, she loves you- why not live a little for once and see how it goes? You have a chance here- you life isn't over yet."

"We are at war Sirius." Remus said quietly.

"Oh Remus!" Sirius said in exasperation and stabbed the floor with the fire poker. "We're not outnumbered 20 to 1 this time! We're better prepared this time-"

"It still doesn't change the fact that it is war."

"If you're going to be so damn negative about this don't you think that it's more of a reason to start something with her? After all, you might not be alive tomorrow."

"That is exactly why I don't want to start anything. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to her-" Remus got up off the couch and began pacing. "More importantly, I wouldn't want her upset if something happened to me."

"That's life, its called 'taking chances'." Sirius said coolly.

Remus stopped pacing. "I'm not a risk taker." He said.

"You're a Marauder." Sirius snapped.

They stared at each other. There was a very long and swelling pause.

"I'm going downstairs to look for some chocolate." Remus said finally, breaking the silence.

"Fine." replied Sirius, picking up the fire poker and setting it back against the dark fireplace.

* * *

Remus frantically began pulling more ingredients and canned food off the shelves. He had been searching the kitchen for quite awhile and his quest for a piece of chocolate had yielded nothing. He moved aside a jar of jam and some stale biscuits only to find a half-empty box of dry oatmeal. 

He sighed and rested his heavy head against the cupboard. He needed chocolate…he was craving it and there was absolutely none to be had. He didn't even have enough ingredients to make his own.

Remus resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall several times. No chocolate…No chocolate…No chocolate…

"Remus?" came a tentative voice behind him.

He turned to see Tonks standing there, her arms full of bags. She looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

He gave a thin smile. "Fine, Nymphadora."

"Tonks!" she reminded him with a grin. "Lucky I went shopping for some food. There was nothing to eat here earlier for lunch so I went after work and picked up some snacks out of the goodness of my heart. But it's good to see that you're finally awake. Sirius said you'd be feeling lousy."

Remus felt all the blood drain from his face. "You talked to him?"

"Yeah." She said setting down some bags on the table. He noticed that in contrast to him, her pinks were rapidly turning a deep pink. "I stopped by earlier and we…talked."

"Oh." Remus said lamely.

As Tonks straightened up from pulling out the groceries to look at him again, Remus forced Sirius's advice of what he should do to Tonks the next time they were in the kitchen together out of his head, although a good part of him thought that it didn't sound like such a terrible idea…perhaps even- enjoyable- he shook his head, forcing out that particular thought. "So…err-"

"How are you feeling?" she asked him, cutting right to the point.

"Well I'm holding up alright. I think I'll make myself a cup of tea- we don't seem to have any chocolate unfortunately."

Tonks smiled slyly and went searching through the bags till she pulled out a large bar of Honeydukes Chocolate.

Remus's eyes widened as he stared at it hungrily.

Tonks chuckled at his expression and waved it around in front of him in a tantalizing sort of way. "Look who was thinking ahead on your behalf."

"Tonks, I'll be in your debt forever if you give me that." Remus said, his eyes never leaving the bar of chocolate.

Tonks's grin widened. "How bad do you really want it?"

Remus didn't bother to lie. "A lot."

"What would you do to get it?"

"Anything." Remus said wondering if it would be rude to tear it out of her hands.

"Anything?" Tonks repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes- I'd do any…" he trailed off as he realized that their conversation suddenly could have reached a whole other suggestive level that Sirius would have been proud of. "Er-"

She stared at him, and he stared back at her as an awkward silence filled the air between them.

Tonks broke it first. "Right- well, you're off the hook for now. Here you are." She said, handing him the bar.

Remus tore open the wrapping in a frenzied way and took an enormous bite out of it. "You are a lifesaver Tonks." He said weakly.

"Don't mention it."

Remus collapsed into the chair stuffing his face with the chocolate.

"D'ya want that cup of tea then?" she asked.

Remus swallowed the chocolate with difficulty. "If it isn't too much trouble."

"Nope. And I'd like to join you if you don't mind."

Remus was really quite tired, and his mind was swirling with the 'How-to-handle-the-moving-quickly-past-simply-platonic-friendship-with-fellow-Order-member-and-attractive-witch-that-was-nearly-half-his-age-issue' but he nodded and said politely, "Of course."

Tonks managed to put on the tea without a disaster and started putting the groceries away. "Sirius really ought to learn how to cook. We can't keep relying on poor Molly to do all of it. She's got enough mouths to feed as it were."

"I'm sure Sirius won't take up that suggestion too kindly." Remus smiled. "He's feeling too copped up as it were with the cleaning. I believe that the suggestion of cooking might just kill him."

"Well perhaps Kreacher then." Tonks said. "Oh- but never mind- he'll all poison us 'by accident'."

Remus gave a weak chuckle. "Probably would."

Tonks poured the now boiling tea into two dusty mugs and after putting the teabags in them brought them over to the table.

"So." She said. "Full moon last night."

Remus took the mug from her and said in an equally casual voice. "Yes."

She flopped down in the seat across from him. "Seriously, was it really bad?"

He was taken aback by her concern. No one had ever asked him what the transformation itself was like. They usually just asked if he was alright and left it at that. "Well…" he said slowly. "It wasn't too bad."

Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Liar. It probably hurts like hell."

Remus could only stare at her, speechless.

Tonks pushed a bubble-gum pink lock of hair out of her face. "You don't have to pretend it didn't. I'm not going to think any less of you if you started bawling right here into your mug of tea. I honestly don't know how you stand it."

Remus felt an overwhelming warm rush of gratitude for Tonks sweep over him.

"Seriously." Tonks said. "Was it bad?"

Remus sighed and took a sip of his mug of steaming tea. "It's painful still, yes. I've gotten used to it by now, but I'm beginning to feel that I am getting too old for it. The transformations seem to be getting more difficult the older I get."

Tonks looked at him her dark eyes filled with compassion. "Don't mind me being blunt and honest here- but you look like shit Remus."

Remus laughed. He appreciated her sincerity- it beat people talking to him in whispers as if he were dying and it beat obnoxious and clueless people that treated him like he was too weak to deal with it.

"And to think I thought it was bad with my own monthly curse." Tonks smirked. "I realize that I have no right to complain now."

Remus looked at her in confusion.

She saw his bewilderment and grinned. "Periods, Remus!" she laughed.

"Oh." Remus said, his ears turning slightly pink. "Right."

She snapped off a slab of chocolate and took a piece for herself, giving him a broad smile in the process

"Have you had a bubble-bath yet?"

Remus nearly gagged on the tea and succeeded in scaling his mouth with the enormous sip of tea he was forced to swallow. "What?" he coughed.

"A bubble-bath!" Tonks said cheerfully. "I imagine it would help a great deal the day after."

"I've never tried it." He said uncomfortably.

"NEVER?!?!"

"Usually I just spend the next day sleeping and the next few days after it, adjusting back to the normal schedule."

"No bath?" Tonks pressed.

"No bath." Remus confessed.

She looked utterly amazed. "What about a massage?"

"What?"

"A massage! Dear god Remus, do you do ANYTHING to help yourself after transformations?"

"Chocolate and tea go quite a long way." He smiled.

Tonks snorted. "No wonder you're so bloody tense."

"Tense?" he repeated. "I'm not tense."

Before he even knew what she was doing or could say anything she had stood up and crossed around the table, to stand behind him.

"Er- Tonks?" he asked somewhat nervously, craning his neck around to see what she was doing.

She put her hands gently on the back of his neck. "Yup." she frowned. "Just as I thought. Tense as a porlock in a quidditch stand."

"How do you-?"

"Your muscles right here-" she said seriously, pressing gently on his neck, "And right here-" she moved her hands a bit lower. "Are very clear indicators of a person's stress level. You are way too tense."

"Mm?" was all Remus was able to manage- it was very hard to act casual with Tonks's warm hands on the back of his neck.

"Very much so." She agreed, beginning to move the tips of her fingers up his neck.

Remus shut his eyes as he felt a rare shiver run from his neck all the way down his spine and sent half the nerves in his body to start tingling.

"So- uh" he coughed trying to act nonchalant about the massage. "How is…how is your-"

"Shut up." Tonks said cheerfully.

He let out his breath in a weary sigh and surrendered, letting his head fall forward onto his chest.

Minutes passed but Remus hardly noticed. Tonks's expert fingers gently kneaded his neck and shoulders and raked his back as he fell deeper and deeper into a blissfully relaxed state. It was almost like being under the Imperius curse- but Imperius didn't cause his skin to pleasantly tingle like fire upon being touched or send his heart beating so hard it sent his blood at an exhilarating and dizzying pace. While trying to keep his deep breathing steady, he closed his eyes and could almost taste the intoxicating and yet gentle scent of vanilla on Tonks that had become so familiar to him now-

"I smell sexual tension." said a familiar voice.

Remus's head jerked up, the spell broken, and when he saw who it was- rolled his eyes. "Were you hunting for it?"

"Perhaps." Sirius said, striding into the room. "Very thoughtful of you Tonks, a bar of chocolate- and a massage, Merlin's beard you are getting spoiled in your old age Moony."

"Bloody hell, after living with you- he deserves it." Tonks said, finishing up the massage with some sweeping strokes.

"Touché." Sirius grinned. "I see you're catching on very quickly on the ways of a Marauder. What the hell is this?" Sirius asked picking up one of the blue boxes on the table and turning it over in his hands.

"Macaroni and cheese."

"Never had it."

"Well you'll get to now. It's easy to make and it's delicious."

"I don't think Molly will appreciate us eating that over her own cooking."

"It's for you to make for yourself when there's no food around."

Sirius frowned. "I wouldn't even force Buckbeak to eat this rubbish."

"Have you ever had it?"

"No."

"Then you can't say anything bad about it until you've tried it."

Sirius yawned and threw it carelessly back onto the table. He started rummaging through the shelves and looked disappointed as he pulled out the last bottle of firewhiskey. "Oh, Tonks I was supposed to give you a message."

"What is it?"

"Mad-Eye wants to see you at 'the-already-preplanned-spot-that-was-discussed-and-later-arranged-for-the-specific-purpose'. I'm assuming you know what he's talking about because I didn't."

Tonks sighed. "Yeah. I know where 'the pre-planned spot' is. What time did he want to see me?"

"Why do you have to meet with him?"

"None of your business."

"Is it Order related work?" Sirius pressed. Remus knew the look in his friend's eyes all too well. Some might mistake it for blankness but Remus guessed that Sirius knew more than he was letting on and was asking Tonks the question for his own mysterious purposes.

"Maybe." Tonks said in exasperation. "When do I have to see him?"

"Well than tell us. We're in the Order too."

"It's Mad-Eye, Sirius. You know what he's like. It's not that important, trust me."

"Why are you being so stubborn on this, why's it such a secret?"

Remus finally spoke up. "Sirius, its Tonks and Mad-Eye's business, not yours or mine."

But Sirius would not be deterred so easily. "Are you two carrying on an illicit affair or something?" he asked Tonks.

Her mouth dropped. "OHMYGOD! EW! NO! SIRIUS! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Well then-"

"Tell me what time I have to meet with him!" she said angrily.

Sirius looked up lazily at the clock. "Oh. Oops. Ten minutes ago."

Her eyes widened in horror. "WHAT?!?!"

"I suggest you get a move on." Sirius said taking a swig of firewhiskey.

"I am going to MURDER you when I get back!" Tonks swore grabbing her wand from the table and bolting out of the room.

"The last thing our family needs is another prison inmate!" Sirius called after her. Remus stared after her even after she had totally left to avoid looking at Sirius who he knew was simply waiting to take the piss out of him.

"Still thinking of 'stopping it before it goes anywhere'?" Sirius chuckled.

Remus turned to see Sirius wearing a grin so large on his face it was in danger of falling off. "I don't know you're on about."

"Oh but I think you do." Sirius said. "A massage and chocolate after every transformation? Merlin's beard, I'd keep her around just for that alone."

"She was just being thoughtful."

"Don't make me laugh. She's probably been planning this for weeks."

Remus took a huge bite out of his bar of chocolate in order to avoid saying anything. Sirius took another gulp of the firewhiskey.

"You know-" Remus said. "You should've come by and told her Moody was waiting for her."

"And interrupt your cozy massage session? I wouldn't dream of it."

Remus said nothing and took a sip of his now rather cold tea.

Sirius let out a barklike laugh. "Moony, I think you ought to reconsider your earlier proclamation. You obviously harbour some sort of deep 'affection' for her and if you're willing to put up with that weird snorting laugh of hers and the clumsiness-"

"I think her clumsiness is very endearing." he said stiffly.

"Remus, what the hell? Just say she's a hott piece of work."

He frowned and stood up. In doing so, he realized he wasn't as stiff and sore as he usually was. His thoughts rather scattered and confused, he invented a hasty departure.

"I'm going to beg you to keep your nose out of this." He said shortly. "There is nothing going on between me and your cousin, and for safety's sake and her future happiness, that's the way it's going to stay." And on that note of finality, he turned abruptly and left the room as quickly as he could.

Sirius watched his friend walk from the room and smiled. So Remus was going to be a prat about this…well that's what friends were for right? To stop them from being stupid and help them when they truly needed it.

He chuckled to himself and started to pour himself a glass of firewhiskey, his mind already scheming on a possible plan that could work on making things move a little faster between his stubborn friend and equally stubborn cousin…


	6. The Biggest Fear

_Author's note: This particular chapter is and has always been dedicated specifically to Molly. One, because its your favorite chapter and two, because your ridiculous_ _fear_ _never ceases to amuse me..._

_Over a thousand hits for my story! YEAH!!!!! I luv you all! _

_Oh, and I noticed the chapters are getting smaller in length. Don't worry, they kinda even out from here on out, and as I looked over my notes this morning I realized that the story is definatly going to be 21 chapters as of this point. And I'm not saying it aloud in case I jinx it, but I think I will be able to get it all posted before the 19th of June! Huzzah! Lets give three cheers and one cheer more! _

* * *

**Chapter Six- The Biggest Fear**

"What do you mean I can't spend the night here?" Tonks cried. "This is my apartment!"

The poor wizard plumber sighed as he waded across the neon orange water up to his knees. Little pink seahorses the size of galleons were floating up to the ceiling in shiny bubbles making funny whistling noises as they went. "I'm sorry miss, but there is no way I can take care of this all by tonight-you'll have to sleep somewhere else until I can remove the water and fix the pipes."

Tonks stood on her kitchen table and silently cursed her bad luck. Where could she possibly go? The very thought of spending the night with her parents home made her cringe. Her mother would probably end up cooking her disgusting: "Tuna and cheese Casserole" that she had picked the recipe up from some god-awful magazine, complete with a large platter of broccoli. She'd most likely end up being drilled on her current love life as well which would result in her father ranting about all of her past boyfriends she had brought home at one time or another.

The plumber had seen her look of dismay and he added kindly, "Perhaps a friend's house if you didn't want to rent a room for the night?"

Tonks bit her lip and tried to think of someone who would be able to take her in at such late notice. Kit was still in Barcelona and she wasn't sure if her other friends were even at home at this hour- probably out clubbing.

Then it came to her. She smiled wondering why she hadn't though of it earlier.

"Yeah, I have somewhere to go." She told the plumber. "Look-I'm really sorry about this. I have no clue how the pipes burst and flooded so quickly- one minute I was pouring some water into the kettle for the tea and the next I had a little swimming pool on my floor complete with the seahorses-"

The man grunted, obviously not excited about the enormous amount of work he had facing him.

Tonks jumped off the table and began quickly wading through the orange water to her room. She could have sworn that just a second ago she had seen a small shark fin go past her table and she decided that the faster she packed and got out of the house, the happier the plumber would be.

* * *

Sirius looked delighted when Tonks walked in through his front door. His hair was longer than usual; his clothes were wrinkled and disheveled looking as though he had worn them for several days. Tonks noticed he could have done with a good shave too- and perhaps a very long shower. But at least he wasn't drunk, she thought, and so that made things easier. 

"Tonks!" he exclaimed as he came around the corner. "Where have you been lately? What's going on?"

"My apartment's flooded, I was wondering if I could spend the night here in one of the spare rooms."

"How did it flood?"  
"I dunno, I had just left the room after turning on the water to get some tea and when I came back it was everywhere. I have no clue how it happened- a pipe must have burst or something but now everything is submerged in about three feet of orange water and I have a mini aquarium of sea creatures floating up to my ceiling."

"You should have had me come over- you and me are great at fixing broken pipes." He said with the faintest of smiles.

Tonks laughed. "Sorry- next time perhaps."

Sirius took her enormous suitcase from her and nearly dropped it. Tonks had packed everything that she thought she might need and so she had squeezed enough shoes, clothes, soap, lotions, shampoos and other "essentials" to last her at least a couple of weeks.

Sirius swore as he steadied the suitcase and then looked back at her, "Did you pack enough?"

"I like to be prepared." She said brightly.

With a grunt, Sirius began carrying the suitcase awkwardly up the stairs. Tonks followed him and gave the curtained picture at the bottom a wide berth. She wasn't quite sure if her cousin's good mood would hold out if the portrait of his mother began shrieking and going typically berserk.

"Is anybody else here?" Tonks asked quietly.

Sirius shook his head. "I haven't seen anybody in ages. You're the first person to drop by since Dung stopped by a week ago."

Tonks felt a pang of guilt and pity. Sirius was still under strict orders from Dumbledore not to leave the house. It was easy to forget he wasn't allowed to leave the eerie, dark, cold rooms of Grimmauld Place.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Sirius stopped and asked- "Left room or right one?"

Tonks looked over at the two doors parallel to each other from across the hall. "What's the difference?" she asked.

"None really." Sirius said with a shrug. "The one on the right is a bit larger."

"I'll take it." Tonks smiled. "Unless anybody else is going to use it."

"No, no one else has been by and I'm not expecting any member to spend the night here until next week perhaps."

"Thanks, so much Sirius." Tonks said as he opened the door to the room to the right and went inside.

Sirius dropped her suitcase at the foot of the large four poster bed. The room was dark and dusty but it was all Tonks needed. "Do you want dinner or anything?" he asked her.

"No thanks, I already ate but I might have a snack."

"I'll be down in the kitchen for now then. You should probably unpack."

"Bollocks. Who cares about that? I'm coming too."

Sirius grinned and led the way out of the room. Tonks felt glad she had dropped by. Sirius in her opinion was in sore need of some company and she was quite sure that she could cheer him up.

* * *

It was very late when Tonks finally crawled into bed. Her and Sirius had spent hours talking and raiding the kitchen. They talked about everything from the Order, to their own mischievous adventures at school. The most fun had been abusing Snape over enormous frying pans (they had run out of clean plates and bowls) of icecream. She knew it was time for bed when she fell asleep in Sirius's bowl of macaroni and cheese. Sirius woke her up to tell her to get upstairs and he'd clean up a bit before going to bed himself. 

Now, a half hour later Tonks wished she had properly unpacked- it was hard to find everything- she was so tired it took her several minutes to pull on her fuzzy pink jim-jams the right way. She spent another good chunk of time trying to find her toothbrush which she unbelievably in spite of everything else had forgotten to pack, and angrily ended up throwing her toiletries into the large closet at the foot of her bed to avoid tripping over them on the floor. She quickly climbed into bed, barely awake and after snuggling deep into the blankets felt herself falling into a deep sleep.

Tweet.

Her eyes snapped open. The room was very dark and still. What had she just heard? It had to be her mind playing tricks on her or something. Feeling greatly annoyed she rolled over and shut her eyes trying hard to get back to sleep.

Then she heard it- the flutter of feathers in the corner of the room. Tonks felt her blood turn to ice. It couldn't be-

Slowly she turned her head and peered over her blanket with terrified eyes staring at the half open closet at the foot of her bed.

The entire room was cast in dark, foreboding shadows. The loudest thing in the room was Tonks's heart pounding furiously against her chest. Was it possible?

'Tweet'

Tonks's eyes widened and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She ducked her head underneath the blanket and lay there, cowering in fear.

What was she going to do? She couldn't yell for help, Sirius would never let her live that down…the possibility of ignoring the little bird and trying to sleep with it being in the same room as her was out of the question. Maybe she could leave and go sleep on the couch in the living room….

Then she remembered the empty guestroom across the hall, no one was staying there and it beat spending the night on the cold, blankletless couch. She could sleep there and tell Sirius at breakfast she thought there was a bird in there in her room and would be so kind as to get it out for her?

Now however, she was faced with the daunting challenge of running out of the room without the bird following and attacking her. She shuddered. Just a few feet away from her was the beaked, feathery-winged terror.

Tonks took a deep breath and then with the speed of a terrified unicorn threw the blankets to the floor, ran to the door, flung it open and slammed it shut behind her.

With the irrational thought that the bird had gotten through the door after her she sprinted across the hallway with her arms over her head. She reached the other guest room and in a panic crashed through the half-shut door.

Tonks jumped, and flung herself flat out onto the small bed expecting to land on the soft messed up blankets and mattress.

To her terror, she felt herself land on something hard. She felt the lump under the blankets move and to her increased horror- realized she had landed on a person.

She sat there frozen with fear and then let out a high, blood-curdling scream.

A tousled haired head appeared from out under the covers and stared up at Tonks with a look of complete confusion and terror. The man suddenly sat bolt upright and seemed to have recognized the pink haired witch sitting on top of him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Sirius was in hysterics. 

After appearing in the doorway looking aghast, deathly pale and with wand drawn out as if he were expecting to come across a murder he had fallen into crippling laughter and had not been able to stop.

All three of them were in the kitchen where Remus had suggested they all go in order to get a cup of tea and some chocolate.

"It's not that funny." Tonks snapped as Sirius fell into another fit of laughter.

Sirius was laughing as though he hadn't experienced something so hilarious in thirteen years, which- Tonks reminded herself, was most likely the case.

Remus was unwrapping a large slab of chocolate he had brought with him, still shaking uncontrollably. He had been quite unnerved it seemed by the whole ordeal. As Sirius tried to explain through gasps of laughter, Remus had arrived much earlier than he had expected and come to stay at Grimmauld Place shortly after Tonks had gone upstairs to bed. Sirius had given him the spare guest room and was planning on telling them both the next day that the other was staying as well. Tonks tried to imagine how she would have felt if she was sleeping and someone had jumped on top of her and begun screaming hysterically. She thought Remus was handling the situation rather well.

"Here," said Remus as he handed her a piece of chocolate. Tonks blushed and accepted it gratefully. She was very embarrassed to say the least and was hoping neither of them would ask her why she had run into Remus's room to begin with.

"Thanks." She said to Remus. "WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?" she yelled at Sirius whose loud bark-like laughter was hardly subsiding.

Remus with a shaky sigh went over and took the jar of tea leaves from Sirius and went about bruising himself to make some tea.

"It was an accident." Tonks said to Sirius. "You don't need to beat it into the ground."

"Why- on earth, did you even- run into- his room?" Sirius gasped as he struggled for breath.

Tonks scowled at him.

Remus coughed as he put the tea leaves into the three mugs. His back was turned to Tonks and Sirius but she could tell that he was just as embarrassed and flustered as she was.

He really did look handsome in his simple pajamas and his blue bathrobe-it was very old and worn…incredibly frayed and threadbare, but he did look so nice in it- alright- perfectly snoggable when it came to that-

Tonks realized that she had to come up with a logical excuse to Sirius's question and tried to come to terms that the truth would probably be the easiest even if it was the most embarrassing.

"I-I-" she began, averting her eyes from Remus, "Well, there was a bird in my room and so I ran into the other guest room hoping to spend the rest of the night in there."

"A bird?!?!" Sirius snorted, and then burst out laughing again.

"Yes! A bird!" Tonks exclaimed. "It was in the corner of the room-"

"How did a bird get in here?" Remus asked.

"I don't know." Tonks shivered and took an enormous bite of chocolate. "But it was in my room and I was scared…"

"Of a bird?!?!?" Sirius laughed.

"I don't like them!"

"What about owls?"

"I don't mind them, it's the little ones that scare me!"

Sirius fell to the floor and erupted into a raucous peal of laughter.

Remus's mouth twitched as though he was close to smiling himself, but he handed the mug of tea to Tonks and said in a reassuring voice, "Don't worry, we'll take care of it."

Tonks gave an involuntary shudder as she thought of the small beady-eyed sparrow lurking in the corners of her room.

Remus turned to his dark-haired friend who was wiping away tears of mirth from his eyes, "Do you have any idea how a bird flew into the house?"

"No."

Remus handed over a cup of tea to Sirius, looking deep in thought. "It didn't fly in through the door when Tonks arrived, did it?" he asked with a slight frown.

Tonks shuddered again at the very thought.

Sirius shook his head and took a sip of tea before chocking on it and spraying it all over the kitchen table-laughing uncontrollably again.

"Perhaps a window then?" suggested Remus, ignoring Sirius's outburst.

"Who cares Mooney?" Sirius gasped.

"It's interesting that a bird managed to fly inside the house despite all the security that's been placed in here." Remus said with a dark look.

"Maybe it used the plumbing." Tonks said stupidly, still thinking of her flooded apartment flat.

"Of course! That's exactly what it did, Tonks!" Sirius cried, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "A little bird hacked its way in through the pipes outside, swam through them, came out the toilet, flew into your room and dried itself off on your pillow and then waited in the corner to try and attack you with its beak in the middle of the night! How stupid of us not to have thought of that already!"

"Well you tell me why a bird was in my room and how it got in!" she said angrily.

"I think we should try to get it out now." Remus said calmly as he took a sip of tea.

"The BIRD?!?!?" Tonks cried looking at Remus as though he were mad.

"No! The dragon!" exclaimed Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"But suppose it attacks us!"

"Tonks, it's bound to be more frightened of us then we are of it." Remus said rationally.

"Easy for you to say." She muttered.

Sirius grabbed a piece of chocolate from the platter Remus had put out. "Why are you so scared of birds Tonks? I've never seen you freak out around owls before."

"Owls are different, their bigger and you can see them coming…little birds can hide under things, you can't see them until their right there...right in your face-"

"Oh I see, owls can't fit in the plumbing but little birds can- holding their breath as they breathstroke their way too the loo."

"I don't know why they scare me that much, but they do! I know its stupid but I just don't like them!"

"Were you ever attacked by a bird once?" Remus asked kindly.

"No." admitted Tonks. "But when I was little once I was sitting in the back of a bus with the window open- and a bird fell in by accident and got caught in my hair which was rather long at the time. I couldn't get it out and my Mum was trying to calm me down as it got more and more tangled in my hair."

Remus nodded. "That might be it then."

Tonks took a huge gulp of tea and ended up spilling half of it on her jim-jams.

"Smooth Tonks." Sirius snickered as he watched her try to clean it up with a napkin. "Well you both had me scared the shit out of me, I heard you both screaming and I ran upstairs with my wand, ready to stumble upon a corpse or something and I find you two in bed together. I stood there thinking- 'Finally! About time already! But what went amiss here? When did this all start happening? What were you two doing exactly before I came that caused you both to scream-"

"Stop it, Padfoot." Remus said, his eyes rather fixed on the tabletop.

"Well really!" Sirius grinned. "It was a rather compromising situation I seemed to have stumbled upon."

"I was scared!" Tonks said indignantly. "And then I landed on a person who I didn't expect to be there! I didn't know Remus was going to be in there!"

"I really didn't know what was going on. I was still half asleep. I thought someone was being attacked or something until I realized shortly afterwards it was Tonks." Remus said quietly.

"Yeah, well in a way, it was you being attacked." Sirius said. "By a desperate, smitten witch who-"

"Shut up Sirius!" Tonks said, blushing furiously, noticing that Remus's head had shot up at Sirius's words. "Why don't you grow up already?"

Remus stood up and drew his wand. "I'm going to take care of the bird."

"I'll come with you." Sirius said pulling his wand from his robes.

"I'll help." Tonks said in a determined voice, trying to steady her nerves.

"You don't have to come." said Remus kindly.

"No, I can help." Tonks hardly believed her own words but she didn't want Sirius and Remus to think she was a coward. She had left her own wand in her room unfortunately- she looked around for a weapon and after searching around the kitchen frantically came forward with an enormous frying pan held out in front of her like a bat.

Remus and Sirius carefully avoided each other's eyes.

* * *

Tonks clung to Sirius's robes with already damp palms, trembling with fear. Sirius had his wand out as Remus reached forward and slowly opened the door. 

The door creaked open revealing many dark, shadowy shapes. Remus cautiously walked into the room- Sirius followed him and Tonks dragged behind.

"Where did you see it Tonks?" asked Remus as he stepped over the blankets on the floor and began searching the furthest corners of the room.

"It was over there, by the closet." Tonks said pointing over to the tall, dark walnut closet across the bed where she had seen the bird perched on top of.

Remus approached it warily and Tonks began wringing Sirius's sleeve that she was clinging desperately to.

"Gerroff of me, Tonks!" he said trying to pull his robes out of her viselike grip.

Tonks took a step backwards, dragging Sirius with her. Remus opened the half-open closet door a bit and ducked as Tonks's shaving cream rolled off the top shelf and fell to the floor with a large 'clunk'.

Remus peered inside the closet- his wand out. More of Tonks's toiletries fell to the floor.

'Tweet'

The noise that Tonks had been dreading the entire time had come up right behind her. With a terrified shriek she threw the frying pan behind her- threw her arms around Sirius's neck and jumped on him. The force of her jump had thrown him forward and he fell to the floor with a loud crash and with Tonks on top of him.

Remus ran forward towards the sound of the noise- and suddenly there was a loud 'crack' from the dark corner and a large silver orb appeared in front of Remus.

Remus hardly appeared surprised, "Riddikulus." He said calmly with a flick of the wrist.

There was a loud pop and the boggart dissolved into thousands of smoky wisps.

"It was a boggart?!?!" Tonks exclaimed.

"Cuz- would you mind getting up? I mean, I'm enjoying the fact that this is the first time in thirteen years I've had a woman on top of me like this but I'd prefer not to start feeling for you in that type of way-"

"Shut up you." Tonks said getting up and helping Sirius to his feet.

"It probably was in the closet then, and you probably didn't notice it until later because you were too tired."

Tonks nodded feeling like a total prat. She hadn't noticed a frustrated boggart in her room for a good while and when she did, she ran away screaming instead of using her wand to get rid of it. Nymphadora Tonks- Auror extraordinaire, unable to get rid of a simple boggart.

"There you are then-" Sirius said to Remus. "It wasn't a disguised, all-powerful Death Eater after all."

"One can never be too sure." said Remus.

"Your getting as paranoid as Mad-Eye."

Remus retrieved the frying pan from the corner. "I think we've all had enough excitement for one night."

"What is that?" Sirius asked with a frown toeing something small and white that had fallen from Tonks's toiletry bag when it fell.

"It's a tampon, Sirius." Tonks laughed.

Sirius's eyes widened in horror and disgust. "WHAT?!?!" he said loudly, leaping away from it as though it were a poisonous snake.

"A tampon. Women use them when they're having their period." Tonks said as if she were explaining it to a two-year old. She looked at her cousin and grinned; delighted at the effect it was having on him. She leaned down and picked it up. "Here-" she moved towards Sirius to touch him with it and Sirius looking around for a weapon bent down and picked up her mango shaving cream.

"Don't you-!" Tonks cried, but it was too late. Sirius tore off the cap and started spraying it right at Tonks. She screamed but threw herself at Sirius and stuffed the tampon down the front of his robes.

Sirius let out a roar of disgust and rage and tried desperately to get it out. Remus seized the shaving cream from his friend and sprayed Sirius.

"Thanks for- HEY!" Tonks cried as Remus turned and sprayed her as well. "Backstabber!"

"GET-IT-OUT!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!" Sirius bellowed trying desperately to unshake the tampon from his robes.

Tonks ran from the room to the spare toilet at the end of the hall where she knew there was another can of shaving cream. She grabbed it and ran back down the hall where Sirius was now armed with the shaving cream and spraying Remus who was desperately trying to pull away from his friend- laughing all the while.

Tonks lunged forward and began spraying them both mercilessly with the shaving cream as the war began.

* * *

Remus woke the next morning with a slight frown. He had been thinking a lot about last night. After the terrible toiletry war, when they were all going off to bed at last, covered in copious amounts of shaving cream, powder, and even some stranger things like cold macaroni and cheese- Tonks had come into his room to apologize again. 

"Sorry again that I scared you earlier."

"It's alright."

She had smiled ruefully. "And now you know my biggest fear. Birds."

"There's nothing wrong with having irrational fears. You'll conquer them eventually when you feel you can and want to."

"You know..." she had said rather thoughtfully, "It's rather funny- you telling me about how I should conquer my irrational fear when you yourself have one of your own you should conquer."

"Which is what?" he had asked curiously.

"Like you thinking that you're dangerous." she had said lightly.

Remus had opened his mouth and then shut it- trying to think of a proper response. "Tonks..." he had said slowly, "That's not an irrational fear. I'm a werewolf and I carry with me a danger that's very real."

Tonks had fixed him with a steady eye. "A danger that's as real as a boggart..." she had said, before turning and nearly tripping over the rug on the way out.

He shook his head. He'd see how she was this morning before over-analyzing their simple conversation.

He walked into the kitchen to see Tonks finishing up a piece of toast and Sirius doing the crossword puzzle to yesterday's Daily Prophet that Remus had brought back with him.

"Morning, Remus." Tonks said cheerfully through a mouthful of toast.

"'Who is the lead guitarist of The Weird Sisters?'" Sirius asked Remus for a good morning greeting.

"I don't know." Remus said as he sat down beside Tonks.

"It's Kirley McCormack!" Tonks said in an exasperated voice. "Don't you two know anything about popular music?"

"Sorry Tonks, me and Remus don't appreciate the music of today's youth." Sirius said briskly as he scribbled down the answer. "Now the Screaming Skulls on the other hand-"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "We've gone over this before- they are so old school, Sirius."

"They are not old school, they are classic." Sirius said indignantly. "Remus, this question's for you: 'Who was the chief of the Wizard's Council that decided that all two legged creatures should be recognized as beings?"

"Burdock Muldoon." Remus replied.

"Thanks." Said Sirius. "You know Tonks, if you ever find yourself stumped by a strange question, go ask Moony. He's the only one I know who knows more pointless, random information-"

"It might come in handy someday, you never know." Remus smiled.

"How about this one? 'Place of the first recorded lethifold attack?' "

"Papua New Guinea, 1782, recorded by…Flavius Belby I believe."

"You loser." Sirius laughed.

Suddenly Remus felt something warm touch the back of his neck, he started- but it was only Tonks.

"Remus, you still have shaving cream on the back of your neck." She said brightly. Remus felt a shiver run down his spine as she tried wiping off the shaving cream with her fingers.

"Damn! This one's hard!" Sirius said loudly. "Why do they ask such pointless questions on these sometimes?"

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Popular song by muggle singer, Warren Zevron?"

"I'm afraid I don't know who that is." Remus confessed. "My father only listened to classical music."

"I'm sure your father wouldn't have listened to him then." Tonks said. "Though I'm surprised you two don't know that. Warren Zevron was around in the 70's. And so I think the answer to that is 'Werewolves of London' Sirius."

"Pardon?" implored Remus.

"Yeah, 'Werewolves of London'. It's a song muggles especially like to play around Halloween. Haven't you two heard of it?" she asked, her dark eyes twinkling.

Sirius and Remus shook their heads.

"Well one day you'll have to hear it."

"I'm amazed you know it then yourself, how about you sing it for us?" Sirius suggested.

"Perhaps when I'm very, very drunk." Tonks promised. She stood up and pushed her chair in with a huge yawn. "I'm going to go take a shower now." She announced.

"That's great Tonks. Thanks for telling us." Sirius said indifferently without looking up from the crossword.

"Well I just felt that you should know-"

Sirius looked up then with a grin. "Er- why?"

"Just because, its polite to- oh! Never mind!" she said angrily.

"No please! Share your reasoning with us!" Sirius yelled as Tonks stomped off. Remus got up to make himself some breakfast. "She's a funny one." Sirius said affectionately, as he turned his attention back to the crossword.

Remus as he began to make himself some toast saw a page of the paper that lay like the others scattered about the counter. Out of sheer boredom he scanned the page and his eyes fell upon the weekly horoscope. He found Pisces and read: '_Someone new has recently jumped into your life and you are finding it difficult to stop yourself from letting them know how you feel. Let them know, they'll be thrilled-they've had their eye on you too.'_

Remus frowned slightly and shrugged it off, as he tried to stop his neglected, burning toast from becoming entirely black.

"Finished!" Sirius said loudly, throwing down his quill. Last night's episode and the morning crossword puzzle seemed enough to have him put aside his sullen, gloomy, dark mood that he had been carrying around for a good time. He ran his hands over his pale, unshaven face.

"How'd you sleep last night?" he asked.

"Alright, and you?"

"Horrible. Tonks sprayed my room with some stupid floral perfume. I had to sleep with Buckbeak it was so bad."

Remus smiled as he buttered his toast. Upstairs he heard the water turn on as it ran through the pipes.

"I'm considering putting Buckbeak's droppings in her trainers. What do you think of that?"

"I don't think-"

"My other idea was to put Wartcap powder in her gloves but I'm never fond of using the same trick twice." Said Sirius sounding as though he were a mischievous student again.

"Do I dare ask who you tried that on the first time?"

"Mad-Eye." Sirius said with a bark of laughter.

Remus couldn't suppress a faint smile. "And he didn't suspect you at all?"

"Of course he did, but I lied and told him I had seen the Weasley twins doing it."

"You still place the blame on others." Remus laughed. "I'd have thought all those numerous detentions at Hogwarts would have had some effect on you."

"On me?!?! Sirius Black?!?!" Sirius said defiantly. "I take pride in my detention records! I lived my life on the wild, rebellious side. You don't even have a worthy record you were such a 'good boy'."

"The difference between you and me was that I was better at not being caught." Remus said pleasantly.

"Touché." Sirius grinned.

They sat there and soon enough began reminiscing again about their old school days and all their past deeds. Indeed, it had been so long since either of talked to each other about a good deal about them, a lot of forgotten humorous memories began coming back to them.

After some time, just as they were laughing over James's particularly wicked scheme of letting loose some several hundred jarveys in the great hall- Remus looked up at the time and received a jolt of surprise.

"It's quite late." He said.

Sirius cocked his head and seemed to be listening for something. "And Tonks apparently seems to still be taking a shower." He frowned.

"Impossible, she would have been out ages ago." Remus said.

"Doesn't seem so."

Remus listened to the running water and forced himself not to panic or think that she was somehow hurt or unconscious. "Do you think she's may have hurt herself?" he asked nervously.

Sirius stood up quickly, looking tense. "Perhaps we should knock and see if she's alright?"

Remus nodded and got up as well.

The both went up the stairs quickly and quietly and it wasn't until they were halfway down the hallway landing when they heard a noise that made them both stop dead in their tracks.

Over the sound of the running water traveling noisily through the pipes there was suddenly a loud high-pitched shriek.

Sirius and Remus stared at each other in horror before sprinting down the hall and reaching the bathroom door which had copious amounts of steam coming out form under the cracks.

Sirius threw open the bathroom door and was immediately engulfed in a dense, white cloud. "Tonks!" he shouted. "Are you alright?"

There was another louder, much more terrified scream and a loud 'bang' and Sirius stumbled backwards clutching his face.

"GO AWAY!" Tonks screamed. "I'M TAKING A SHOWER!!!!!"

Sirius began cussing angrily and Remus shut the door quickly before his friend decided to go barging back into the perilous room to start yelling at Tonks.

"What did she hit you with?" Remus asked seriously as tried to see the damage that had been done on Sirius so he could come up with the counter curse.

Sirius had his hands over his face still. "I THINK SHE BROKE MY NOSE!!!!!"

Remus suddenly caught sight of a wet bar of soap beside the door. He picked up the lime green bar with difficulty and handed it over to Sirius trying hard not to start laughing. "Was this it?"

Sirius looked absolutely murderous. "TONKS!" he roared, banging hard on the bathroom door- the green bar of soap a mushy ball in his tight fist. "GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!!!!!"

"Sirius-" Remus said in an attempt to calm his friend.

"I still have to rinse myself off!" Tonks shouted.

"THERE WILL BE NO BLOODY HOT WATER LEFT IN THIS DAMN HOUSE FOR WEEKS IF YOU DO! **GET OUT**!!!!"

"Half a minute!"

Remus put out an arm to physically restrain Sirius who looked ready to storm down the door and drag Tonks out of the bathroom himself.

After what seemed like eternity, Remus heard the water turn off and Tonks get out of the shower.

The door opened and both men nearly chocked on the over powering floral and fruity fumes that came out.

Nymphadora Tonks was standing there in the doorway, dripping wet and wrapped in an enormous towel. "What? Who died?" she asked.

Remus found himself staring, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Why did you throw the soap at me?" Sirius asked angrily.

"Why did you attack me when I was taking a shower?" Tonks retorted.

"We heard you screaming!" Sirius shouted.

Tonks stared at him, nonplussed. "I wasn't screaming." She said in a dignified voice. She began to adjust her towel that was sliding down ever so slightly and Remus quickly forced himself to avert his eyes as she did so to break the spell.

"No?" Sirius asked.

"I was singing." She said. Remus watched her face caught between embarrassment and a forced display of dignity.

Sirius stared. "You were singing?" he repeated slowly.

"Yes."

"You called that SINGING?!?!?"

"Shut up. And oh- thank you for using all my shaving cream up last night." Tonks said irritably. "I was forced to try and dry shave and now I have razor burn- not to mention I'm still really hairy."

"If you're going to be with Remus someday, you'd better get used to the idea." Sirius said.

But before Remus could respond to this or let proper embarrassment set in Tonks spoke up- "There is a big difference between my hairy legs and Remus's lycanthropy." Tonks laughed. She looked down at her pale legs rather critically. "Then again maybe there isn't."

Remus smiled. It was rare times like these where his condition was touched upon with appropriate humour and sensitivity. There were so few of them- and, as he thought about it suddenly- most of them had come from his Marauder friends so many years ago- and in more recent years, from Tonks.

"Oh bollocks- I nicked myself." Tonks said suddenly looking down where a small red line of blood was oozing. "I always have trouble with the knees."

"Tonks, couldn't you just fix yourself up through morphing?" Sirius asked.

A rare blush began spreading across her face, making her look utterly adorable in Remus's opinion. "Yes." She said. "Probably."

"Then why do you shave?" Sirius asked with a bark like laugh.

She wriggled about in her towel- looking strangely awkward and uncomfortable.

"Well….I dunno…I mean- I- I…er-"

And suddenly Remus realized that he too knew the answer to Tonks's funny habit,

"I imagine-" he said mildly-both of them turned to stare at him, "That its for the same reason I don't howl up at the moon every night."

Tonks's face broke out into a grateful smile. Their eyes met- and Remus knew then that an understanding had finally passed between them despite all of their differences.

"What?" Sirius asked loudly. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just because I'm a werewolf doesn't mean I act like a wolf and run off to go live in the forest- just because Tonks is a metamorphous doesn't mean she'll go join the muggle circus as some sort of attraction. We're both a witch and a wizard and therefore there's no excuse that we can't do things that other witches and wizards consider normal."

Tonks was beaming at him now as he talked.

"If we want to do the things that any normal human does or wants to do-" he said quietly, his eyes fixed on Tonks. "There should be nothing holding us back…including our own insecurities."

Sirius looked from one to the other. "Do those 'normal things' include shagging?"

"SIRIUS!"

"What? Do they?"

"That's enough." Remus said. "Tonks, we'll leave you alone, we're going back downstairs."

"Thanks for the attempted rescue party and having my best interests at heart!" Tonks called after them as they walked down the landing.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Tonks was back in her room before turning to him with a grin. "I know you were staring at her in her towel-or imaging her without it."

"I was not." Remus said stiffly.

"Liar." His friend said calmly as they started to head down the stairs again. "You wanted to shag her right there on the spot and if I wasn't there- you two would have been on top of each other so fast…all that bullshit about being normal except for 'our own insecurities' or whatever. Please, give me a break. You were all but howling for sex-"

"Sirius-"

"You WOLF! Eyeing her RAVENOUSLY."

"That's quite enough."

"How 'delicious' did she look to the 'big, bad wolf'?"

""That's not even funny."

"-the primal callings of the wild cannot be ignored! The wolf is in your blood! It wants to devour her-"

"I'm ignoring you."

"-it wants to shag her senseless!" Sirius hissed as they reached the bottom.

"What are you two on about?" growled a familiar voice.

They turned to see a grizzled and suspicious looking Mad-Eye Moody standing there by the front door.

"Nothing." Remus said immediately. "Sirius is just being a complete prat today. That's all."

To his relief Sirius said nothing, obviously giving up his joke.

"I should be off." said Remus, going over to the heavily locked door and pulling on his cloak that was hanging off to the side. "Lots to do today. Tell Tonks I said 'goodbye'."

Sirius smirked but oddly, said nothing humorous. "See you later."

Remus eyed Sirius and Mad-Eye Moody warily for a moment, before finally leaving Headquarters. He closed the heavy door behind him with a small snap and walking out into the cool, brisk fall morning pushing away the feeling that his friend might have something planned up his sleeves that could not bode well for anyone.


	7. Self Defense

_Authors note: I was just thinking today that if Remus or Tonks or both dies/die in Deathly Hallows, I'm gonna be pissed. I'm willing to bet money that their not going to but just the same…y'know? I'm gonna go on a warpath…arghhhhh…_

_I'll shut up now. :)_

**Chapter Seven- Self Defense**

Tonks had all her papers spread out on the table in the dark kitchen of the Headquarters. It was a glorious day out but she had to finish her report for work by Monday. She had decided to her work at Grimmauld Place because she knew it would offer her the least amount of distractions- it was quiet and dark and no one was supposed to be around that weekend. She was up to the fourth page already, getting loads done….

And just then, the biggest distraction of her life walked into the kitchen.

Tonks raised an eyebrow when she saw all the several empty bottles of firewhiskey that Remus was carrying. "Having a party are we?" she asked him as a morning greeting.

"Their not mine." Remus replied in his usual hoarse voice. "I've been finding these hidden all around the house. Sirius is obviously the one drinking them all, but I have no idea how he's getting a hold them."

"Mundungus?" Tonks suggested.

Remus looked up at her in surprise.

Tonks shrugged. "I'm an auror. I have to think of stuff like this, and he mentioned that crate Dung had left once before, remember?"

Remus frowned. "You're probably right- I'm going to have to talk to him about it."

"What are you doing here?"

"Cleaning as of now." Remus said. "Molly hasn't been by in a while and I feel she shouldn't be the one responsible for cleaning everything up when things start to look desperate."

"Where is Sirius? Get him to help you too."

"Judging from the state he was in this morning, probably not the best idea."

"Who said my name?" Sirius groaned, coming out from around the corner right on cue. He was squinting and his appearance was terribly disheveled at best.

"WOTCHER SIRIUS!" Tonks said in a loud voice.

Sirius swore and grabbed his head, still cussing.

Tonks laughed as she watched him fall into his chair, still clutching his head.

"Tsk. Tsk." she laughed. "Serves you right drinking that much- what if Harry showed up suddenly only to see his godfather with a hangover- you're a horrible role model."

"Go fuck yourself." Sirius snarled.

"Awww, I love you too, cuz."

"Sirius-" Remus said sternly.

"Bite me."

"I'd rather not." said Remus. "It might lead to some complications."

Tonks couldn't help but chuckle.

Remus smiled at her for a moment before turning back to his friend, "Sirius, where have all these empty bottles been coming from? I know where the contents have obviously been going, but where have you been getting them?"

"Remus," Sirius moaned. "Have some compassion- grant me some mercy, make me a cup of coffee and shut the hell up."

"I had enough compassion to drop by last night and hold your head for you as you vomited into the toilet." Remus said coolly.

"Huh?" Sirius frowned. "I don't remember that."

"Because you were completely inebriated at that point. Where did the bowl by the side your bed come from then? And the nice, cool washcloth?"

"Ohhh…right. Thanks Moony- now extend your compassion a little longer and make me a cup of coffee for godsakes."

"Answer my question first. Where are all these coming from?" Remus asked with a gesture to the bottles he has set down beside the sink.

"Kreacher." Sirius said without batting an eye.

"Kreacher?" Remus sighed, as if he had heard dumb excuses like this from Sirius all too often.

"Yup. I've seen the little bastard running around a few times with a bottle under his arm to go give a toast to my father's trousers or to go drown himself in sorrow that the 'ungrateful little swine' has returned home."

Tonks let out a small snicker as an image of the old house-elf drinking a bottle of fire whiskey while embracing various lingerie of the Black family came to mind.

"Sirius- you really shouldn't be drinking this much, it's not-"

"Leave the fussing to Molly Weasley, Remus- and don't make me out to be your pity cause- I'm sure there are other things you could be doing rather than playing house with an escaped criminal."

Remus shrugged. "Not really, unfortunately."

Sirius groaned. "Go get me a coffee."

"Get it yourself."

"I feel sick."

"Your problem not mine."

"Come'on Remus!"

"Ask me politely." Remus said with a small smile.

"NO!"

"Then get it yourself."

"No…"

"Well its one or the other Sirius," Remus said as if he were talking to a small child. "Either apologize and ask me nicely or no coffee for you."

Sirius looked as if he were having an inward struggle with himself before he finally growled, "Sorry. Can you please get me a cup of coffee?"

"I'm impressed. For you that was very good. I expected a lot more ranting and raving."

"I…need…coffee…"

"You need to work on not getting drunk so much." Remus said as he went over to the pantry and went inside looking for some coffee beans.

Sirius yawned and looked over at Tonks. "So what're you doing here?"

"I wanted to get some work done." She said, holding up a paper.

He let out a laugh at that. "So you came here?"

"I get easily distracted at my apartment. Usually I end up listening to music or something so I came here."

"Well good luck with that then…oh, by the way, what do you want for Christmas this year?"

"Can I get a Firebolt like Harry?"

"No. You're not that special."

Tonks reached out and slapped him as best she could from across the table. "Why not? I'm your cousin!"

"As I said earlier, you're not special enough. Seriously, besides expensive broomsticks, what do you want?"

Tonks smirked and gave him a knowing look, but said nothing.

"Oh you dirty, little witch." Sirius said, rolling his eyes- "How on earth do you expect me to get you THAT? We're talking about Moony here- there's no way he would stand for it unless I bound and gagged him when he wasn't expecting it and locked you two in an empty room together so that you could have your evil way with him-"

"Do I want to know what you two are talking about?" Remus asked, coming back into the room with a small, dusty can of coffee beans.

"We're discussing Tonks's Christmas present…and possibly yours. This might be good actually. I could kill two birds with one stone…"

"Right," Tonks said, as she stood up and gathered her papers. "You think about that for awhile, Sirius…I've got to go. I'd love to talk to you both but I really do have to get this done as soon as possible so I'm going upstairs now."

"Do you need help carrying those?" Remus asked as Tonks picked up her papers and nearly dropped half of them.

"No, no I've got it. Thanks anyways."

And with a cheerful smile and her arms filled with papers, she left the kitchen.

There was a small silence in the room as Remus stared after her for a moment before turning around to start making Sirius's coffee

" 'Do you need help carrying those'?" Sirius repeated in a credible imitation of Remus's hoarse voice.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Am I now not allowed to ask her if she needs help without it being over analyzed by you?"

Sirius kicked his feet up on the table. "I'm telling you Moony, she fancies you."

"Don't be ridiculous. We've gone over this before."

"She's mad about you, and I'm convinced that you're mad about her-"

"She's just a friend-"

"Friend my arse. You're such a prat. I walked in on you two in the kitchen that day and she was totally trying to seduce you."

"Was she?" Remus asked as he set down Sirius's freshly made coffee, trying to appear as though this was news.

Sirius snorted. "You're an arse Moony- and either you became a eunuch while I was in Azkaban, you're not straight, or you're being stupid and I'm leaning towards the last reason because from what I saw- she was obviously turning you on."

"I was NOT turned on." he said indignantly.

"Oh yeah?" Sirius asked. "Why not?"

"What are you on about?" Remus spluttered.

"Either you have issues and you're not turned on by women or you're lying. I'm leaning again towards the latter."

"This really is none of your business."

"Believe me, I wish it wasn't but since I'm on house arrest with a giant horsey bird as my only companion, I have nothing better to do than interfere with your ridiculously dull social life."

"Thank you."

"I still don't understand why you haven't gone and banged her on the kitchen table already. Every time I walk in on you two in the kitchen or wherever, you're always on the path to it but you're not actually at it. "

"Maybe it's because you keep barging in on us while we're still on the path." Remus snapped, finally fed up with him. A second later his eyes widened in horror as he realized just what exactly he had said.

Sirius looked astonished but recovered quite quickly, "Oh-ho-ho!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"Sirius, please-" Remus begged.

"Did I REALLY just hear that?" Sirius said loudly. "Did I just hear you say-"

"Shut up you ass, I made you coffee this morning- remember?"

"You ARE turned on by her!" his dark haired friend exclaimed gleefully.

"I- I-"

"Or you have at least thought about her in a less than platonic manner. You've now thought of shagging her on the kitchen table and in my opinion that at least counts as-"

"Will you SHUT UP?" Remus hissed.

"-and if you've fantasized about having her on the kitchen table then most likely you've come up with dozens of other ideas as to-"

"Sirius, I'm warning you-"

"-but thinking about them isn't going to get you very far Remus. You're going to have to really get a strategy underway so that you won't have to-"

"You utter another syllable and I will you kill you myself, right here-."

"I KNEW IT!" Sirius crowed. "I knew you fancied her!"

"I don't!" Remus said desperately.

But Sirius's grin never left his face as he picked up his coffee. "And what a perfect day to confess it."

Remus looked at him. "Why?" he asked sharply.

Sirius took a sip of coffee and set it down, looking suspiciously innocent. "No reason…just a lovely day outside today, isn't it?"

But Remus wasn't fooled. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Why would you think something is-"

"Sirius," he said sternly. "What have you done?"

"Moony, I have no idea what you are talking about." Sirius said calmly. But the corners of his lips were twisted into the faintest of smiles.

Remus looked about the room. "Something is going on."

"I think your being paranoid, mate." Sirius said. "But now since I still have a terrific headache, so I'm going to go upstairs…"

"Oh no you don't!" Remus said. "Don't think I don't know what you're going to do. You're going to run to Tonks the first chance you get and tell her what I said."

"Well I wasn't, but what would be so bad if I did? If you claim that she doesn't fancy you, she wouldn't think anything of it, would she?"

"She…she might laugh or think…I'm strange." Remus said. "Since we're just friends and all."

Sirius cocked his head as he stared thoughtfully at Remus. After a moment of watching him closely he spoke, "You're afraid…aren't you?"

Remus felt himself tense automatically. "No." he said stiffly.

"You are…" Sirius said slowly. "I can tell when your afraid…so that's what this is all about, isn't it? You're afraid that she's going to think you're a pervert or something."

"No."

"I think it's a combination of that and you're also afraid because you're a werewolf and you think its going to mess up her life if you get together with her. That's it, isn't it? You clearly fancy her now, so there's no excuse for you. If you say you don't, I'll know you're lying."

Remus stared at his friend. Sirius really did show some amazing insights of wisdom occasionally. "I'm not letting you go back upstairs." He said finally. "At least not by yourself. You're staying within my eyesight for the rest of the day."

"Fine." Sirius said, taking another sip of coffee.

Remus frowned. The lack of reaction was highly suspicious.

Sirius stretched in his chair and sighed, "So…are we going to do some cleaning today or what? We'd better get started."

Oh yes. Something was defiantly going on and his friend was most defiantly behind it.

* * *

"There you are." 

Tonks turned around and when she saw who it was, let out a loud groan. "Mad-Eye, no- not today."

"You've put it off long enough young missy! I told you practice was today. Do you want to fall behind?"

"I have a report due on Monday!"

"You'll have plenty of time to do it later. Besides, where is your report now?"

"It's upstairs…" Tonks admitted. Alright, so she had taken a break. She was hungry and she had been working for the better part of the morning. She deserved a snack.

"Good." growled Moody as he clunked into the kitchen. "You've been doing well lately and I'd hate to see it all go to waste."

Indeed they had been meeting as often as they could for the past few weeks in between Order work and Tonks's job. Mad-Eye, as crazy as he was, knew a lot of good moves and Tonks really had learned a lot of things that she had never been taught in auror training.

"Choke-hold today!" Moody said with a heavily scarred smile as if it was everyone's greatest dream to be learning how to escape a chokehold.

"Can't I have a snack first?" Tonks whined.

"No."

"Whyyyy?"

"Now-" Moody said. "First things first, get rid of that stupid sandwich."

"I just made it!"

Moody poked it with his wand and Tonks gasped in horror as it ignited and quickly burned to ashes.

"I HATE YOU!!!!!"

"It's a bloody sandwich, not your first-born child."

Tonks stared mournfully down at the charred remains of her peanut butter sandwich.

"Now…" Moody said briskly. "To business, the main things you have to remember when attacked in a chokehold are…"

Tonks found herself listening half-heartedly to him, her mind a million miles away. Moody was explaining the different types of chokeholds and how threatening and dangerous each of them were. It wasn't until after several lousy attempts of practicing to break free of some of them, that Moody finally suspected her of not paying attention.

"TONKS! What if this wasn't practice, eh? What's going to happen when someone attacks you and you have no idea what to do? FOCUS THIS TIME! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Tonks snapped out of her day spell and prepared herself to fight back with the moves Moody had instructed her on. Moody went grumbling under his breath to stand behind her before throwing his arm around her neck again and pulled her into a tight, but not entirely suffocating chock-hold.

Suddenly the kitchen door opened and Sirius and Remus were standing there in the doorway. Sirius's mouth dropped along with the box of rubbish he had been carrying, but Remus had his wand out in a flash and Tonks only saw the blur as the spell went shooting by her face and hit Mad-Eye throwing him backwards away from Tonks.

"Steady on!" Tonks said in surprise.

Remus stared from her to Moody in confusion, his wand still out and pointing at Moody.

"Nice wandwork there Lupin- I haven't seen you move that quickly in ages." Moody growled.

"What's going on in here?" Remus demanded.

"Mad-Eye was teaching me self defense." Tonks said.

"Self defense?" Sirius said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know- like if someone was attacking me- what to do, how to fight back-."

The light went on in Remus's face and turned quickly to horror. "Oh god. I'm so sorry Alastor, I just walked in and thought-" he picked up Moody's wand from the floor and handed it back to him. "I mean- I don't know what I was thinking- I just thought you, well- someone, perhaps a Death Eater in disguise or someone was attacking Tonks or… and well…I just overreacted. "

Tonks was stunned that Remus's mind had moved that quickly to its conclusion and that he had immediately disarmed Moody no less in an attempt to save her. She looked at him encouragingly.

Remus looked terribly embarrassed but Moody now looked delighted. "That's what I'm talking about Lupin! Constant vigilance!"

"Yeah." Sirius grinned. "Good display of constant vigilance there, Moony."

"Well…" Remus said looking about uncomfortably. "Glad I could help- but now I'm heading back upstairs again, so-."

"Just a moment." Moody said quickly. "How about you do me a favor?"

Remus nodded but looked as if more than anything he wanted to leave.

"You be the attacker for a bit"

Tonks's eyes widened. Oh bloody hell, NO! Not Remus! What the hell was Mad-Eye thinking? She would never be able to focus or concentrate! "Er- Mad-Eye, I'm sure Remus is very busy and-"

"Yes, yes." Remus said, a red flush coming over his face. "Yes, I am."

"Cleaning the bathroom can wait Moony-Tonks obviously needs help for her lesson." Sirius said with a truly wicked grin.

Tonks could have sworn that the scarred and mutilated face of Moody was hiding a small smile. "It's just that my leg here has been bothering me today and I think it would be beneficial for Tonks here to be paired up against someone who's physique is much more likely to be an honest, realistic threat."

Remus swallowed. "Well…I…" he began hoarsely.

"I'm feeling rather tired too actually! Can I take a break?" Tonks said.

"No you may not." Moody growled.

"I-really-want-a-break." she said pointedly.

"In a real situation, attackers don't give you breaks. Besides, we only just started today's lesson."

"Then why is your leg bothering you?" Tonks retorted.

"Because I'm old and I don't have the advantage of using two like I used to." Moody said shortly. "Now get back to your lesson."

"If Tonks is too tired- perhaps it's best if she did take a break." Remus suggested.

"She's not." Sirius said suddenly.  
"And how would YOU know?" Tonks demanded.

"You're a Black- we never give up."

"I'm a Tonks."

"You still have the 'Toujours pur' blood." Sirius said.

"My Tonks blood is slowing me down today."

"Bullshit." Sirius snorted.

"I really do think that-" Remus began.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!?! DO YOU TWO WANT TO SEE HER DIE?!?!?!" Moody bellowed to Remus. "BECAUSE IF YOU DO NOT PRACTICE LASS, YOU WILL BE ATTACKED, HARMED AND POSSIBLY KILLED!"

Remus looked downright horrified at this, indeed he was several shades paler than usual. Sirius yawned, looking as though he couldn't care less. Moody was scowling at her but she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't really angry. What a bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing. Tonks stood there; her face screwed up in rage but before her or Remus could think of another way out-

"Right, Lupin- you come up and stand behind Tonks." Moody said as he leaned against the table.

Remus tried to look as dignified as possible as he moved over and stood a good three feet behind Tonks.

"NOT THAT FAR BEHIND HER!" Moody snapped. "Stand so that you're up against her."

Sirius let out a bark like laugh which he quickly managed to turn into a cough.

Remus moved forward to stand behind her.

"Good." Moody said with a lopsided grin.

Tonks wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

"Now…" Moody continued. "Put your wrap your arms around her waist, and under her arms."

Remus slowly did as he was instructed and Tonks tried to focus on the lesson and not the fact that Remus's warm breath was on her back of her neck and his stupid tweed jumper that she was now so fond of was right up against her back.

"Hold her tight-" Moody said. "You're bloody well attacking her- you're trying to get a good hold on her, you want to- there you go!" he said enthusiastically as Remus squeezed Tonks more tightly. "Right, now Tonks, what do you do?"

Tonks forced herself out of her dreamy euphoria and tried to think of a response that wasn't 'turn around and start snogging the sexy werewolf'. "Uhhhhhh…" she said weakly.

Moody banged his gnarled hand on the table with surprising force. "DAMNIT LASS! WHAT HAVE WE BEEN LEARNING THIS WHOLE TIME?!?! CONSTANT VIGILANCE! CONSTANT VIGILANCE! THINKING-QUICKLY-ON-YOUR-FEET!"

Sirius got up and went into the back pantry only to return seconds later with several bottles of butterbeer. He opened one up for himself, and rubbed his hands together excitedly before sitting up on the table looking as if he were getting ready to watch an entertaining television show.

Tonks gently and very cautiously kicked back with one of her legs into Remus's shin and began to sink down as Moody had taught her before.

Moody rolled his one real eye.

Tonks went through the motion of using a back elbow strike and instead of hitting Remus in the jaw hit him on the side of the head by his temple.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Remus!"

"WHY THE **HELL** ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO YOUR ATTACKER?!?!" Moody bellowed. "DO IT OVER AGAIN, AND THIS TIME PROPERLY!"

"Put some effort into this Remus! Pretend that you really want Tonks!" Sirius suggested.

Remus's ears were crimson as he avoided looking at Sirius.

Tonks nearly lost total self-control when she saw Moody and Sirius give each other a knowing, conspiratorial look from across the table. She was about to call them on their own game when suddenly she froze-

Remus had put his arms around her waist again…

Without being told to.

Tonks grinned as her heart went into a furious flutter. Well, she could play along for a little bit if it gave her the opportunity that she secretly wanted. With Remus standing so close to her, it was hard to pretend that she didn't really want him there, and who knew when another opportunity like this might arise?

* * *

"Alright, this is hardly professional." Tonks grumbled some time later. 

"Shut up lass, it's either me on top of you or him…think of it that way." Moody said as he took a swig from his hip flask.

"I'd rather not." Tonks grimaced as she mentally pushed away that very disturbing image. She was on the floor, laying down with Remus half on top of her. She had to admit- as far as self defense went, this was the best practice ever. She didn't mind Remus on top of her at all, though she thought he probably was feeling very self conscious with the audience. "I find it very convenient though that you feel the need to teach me THIS particular move today."

"I think you're doing well today, that's why."

"Humpf." Tonks said. "If I'm doing that well, my "attacker" never would have gotten this far, would he?"

"Perhaps." Sirius said carelessly, who had been watching the entire lesson play itself out. "You never know."

Remus sighed. His brown hair streaked with grey was falling into his face as he leaned over Tonks- she thought he was being a very good sport about the whole thing. Throughout the lesson, he had had no choice but to loosen up with Mad-Eye screaming what they were doing wrong every so often and to actually help Tonks learn defense he had to play a half-way convincing role of the 'attacker'. But he was still making a conscious effort of behaving the perfect gentleman.

"Can we please just get this over with?" he asked them.

"Ohhhhh, just looking for a quickie today, Remus?" Sirius asked him.

Remus gave him a stern look the best he could from the floor.

"Right-" said Moody as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and recapped the hip flask. He stood up and hobbled over to where they were. "Try not to look to cozy down there you two. Remus is on top of you Tonks and he's got your arms there-no, grab her wrists Lupin- there you go- you can't use your arms Tonks, what do you do?"

"Bite his ear off?" Tonks suggested. With Remus's face next to hers it was the first idea that popped to mind.

"Well if its possible- sure." Moody agreed. "Bite if you can."

Sirius let out a chuckle at that.

"-But," Moody continued, "There's another option too- can you guess?"

It was hard to do much thinking at all with the man she fancied right on top of her and as she lay there on the floor. She felt quite helpless….she really didn't want to fight back, if truth be told.

"Uhhhh, spit in his face?"

Moody shook his head in disgust. "Use your legs, lass! Their not useless down there! Women don't realize that their legs can be their strongest natural weapons!"

"That's very true." Sirius said suddenly. "They can hurt like hell."

They all turned to stare at him.

"Long story-nothing illegal, but awkward." He said with a roguish grin.

"Maybe Sirius should be the one down here." Remus said.

"No!" Tonks said loudly. Now it was her turn to be stared at, "I mean…it's just that…I- I prefer Remus."

"Yeah, Tonks is my cousin. Me on top of her like that would just be bizarre, although admittedly our whole family did intermarry with each other-"

Moody cleared his throat. "Back to what I was saying about women's legs."

Tonks giggled at that but stopped when he turned to glare at her. "Oh! Like knee him in the groin?"

"That, or move your hip back a bit the best you can and try to free your leg to kick the you-know-what out of him, if that doesn't work you can push your arms up the best you can- that'll do, very good- and knee him as hard as you can-don't actually do it of course- he'll end up falling forward over you so you can slide quickly out from under him. Now Lupin- put your arms around her throat like you're chocking her."

Remus did as he was told, but his warm hands were very gentle.

"Right so this is even worse than before, isn't it?" Moody said cheerfully. "Here's a tip. Put your hands around his. Now- swing your leg up around his neck and hook it there and bring that leg down as hard as you can- other side- do that while grabbing his wrist and pulling in that direction, very good- and you've pinned him to the ground like that. Try that one again. Once you've done that you could probably execute a few good blows or get control of your wand."

"What if I had a wand up to her?" Remus asked who was laying on the floor now with Tonks's leg over him and his arm being pulled away, rendering him helpless.

"Eh?"  
"Wouldn't I have something in my hand to threaten her, like my wand? Or a knife?"

Mad-Eye smiled. "Good thinking, Lupin. We'll try that next. Alright let's get a prop-"

"Here." Sirius said going over to the kitchen drawer to retrieve a small butter knife.

Tonks snorted in amusement.

"Do you want this one instead?" Sirius grinned, holding up a huge steak knife sharpened to a deadly point.

"The little knife will do for now." Moody said, taking it from him. "Use this Lupin, put it up to her throat like your pretending to threaten her. Get into this Remus, your attacking her! Now, Tonks- we've done this move before remember? What do you do when he's got a knife to you? Think, girl!"

"This is just cruel." Remus said quietly looking torn between laughing and mortified.

Tonks grinned. "Tell me about it."

"THE ATTACKER AND THE VICTIM DO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT!" Moody bellowed.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I saw that Lupin." Moody said. "Now, back to the situation-WHAT DO YOU DO LASS?!?!?!"

He certainly wasn't making her life a hell of a lot easier. Tonks had a strong feeling that Mad-Eye was thoroughly enjoying this whole thing.

"I put my arm here- and pull his away…" Tonks said as she pulled Remus's arm away from her. He fell forward slightly and she paused as she looked up at him and their eyes met. Tonks suddenly forgot everything and was only aware of how their faces were inches from each other- their breaths intermingling and quickly falling into the same rhythmic pattern. She stared into his pale, tired-looking face, and his warm brown eyes that were making her heart beat faster and her entire body tingle as if it were on fire.

The seconds lengthened- Tonks had lost track of time- Remus was all that mattered…

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!!!!!" Moody bellowed right next to them. Both her and Remus jumped in surprise.

"Oh! Right…sorry…" Tonks said, feeling unusually flustered. "Er, what was I doing? Something about…pulling his arm away right?"

A loud gasp came suddenly from the doorway. They all turned their heads to see Molly Weasley who was standing there in the doorway, her arms full of what looked like bags of food and looking as if she had stumbled upon a murder.

"Merlin's beard- what's going on here?!?!"

"Self defense, Molly." Mad-Eye said in his gravely voice.

"Self defense?" she repeated staring at Remus and Tonks on the floor.

"Remus was kind enough to help Moody and me out today. I've been practicing moves in case I fall into trouble." Tonks said.

Molly nodded but looked very suspicious as she continued to stare at Remus and Tonks, "Well that's a very wise idea but I don't know why you all choose to do this in the middle of the kitchen."

Moody clapped his gnarled hands together. "I think that's enough for today. Good work Tonks. And thank you for helping Remus."

"Not at all." He said quietly as he stood up and extended an arm out to Tonks to help her up.

Tonks took it and pulled herself up.

"Well that was entertaining." Sirius said, draining another bottle of butterbeer he had been drinking. "Almost as good as that time you two were in bed together-"

Mrs. Weasley dropped the home baked dish of cooked vegetables she had been holding. It fell to the kitchen floor with a loud smash. "What?" she gasped.

"SIRIUS!" Tonks exclaimed. "Shut up and-"

"It wasn't anything like that Molly." Remus said quickly to Mrs. Weasley. "Tonks jumped on my bed in the middle of the night one time- she didn't know that I was sleeping in it."

"Are we entirely SURE about that?" Sirius said with a wink.

"Yes!" Tonks said furiously, rounding on her cousin. "I had no idea! We weren't DOING anything." she said to Mrs. Weasley.

"No…of course not." Mrs. Weasely said as she used her wand to fix the broken dish. "Tonks dear, could you come over here and help me for a minute?"

Tonks would sooner buy a pet bird before believing that Mrs. Weasley really needed her help. "Sure Mrs. Weasley. No problem."

"I'll get in touch with you for our next lesson, Tonks." Moody was saying as he clunked away.

"Yeah, okay…sure."

Sirius was barely suppressing laughter as he watched his werewolf friend whose blush was deepening by the second.

"Over here dear-" Mrs. Weasely said as she all but dragged Tonks into the corner. "Are you alright?" she said in a quiet undertone.

"What? Oh yeah, fine."

"Really?" she implored. "I understand that Alastor can be rather intense and very pushy sometimes-"

"He's alright." Tonks said. "Just trying to help me learn."

Mrs. Weasley glanced over Tonks's shoulder at Remus.

"And Remus was really a good sport about the whole thing." Tonks said quickly, already knowing what Mrs. Weasley's next question would be. "He just stumbled into the room with Sirius by accident and Mad-Eye recruited him. "

Make that two birds. They came in by accident, Ha. As if. Moody and Sirius had probably organized this operation days in advance.

"I see." Mrs. Weasely frowned. "Well, will you take this dear for a minute? I need to go upstairs and talk to Alastor before he leaves-"

She dropped a large casserole in Tonks's arms before hurrying up the stairs after Moody.

"Why's she going to talk to Mad-Eye?" Sirius asked Tonks as soon as Mrs. Weasely left the room.

She shrugged. "She's under the idea that he was responsible for everything."

"Imagine that." Sirius said airily. "Well, good job with the 'self-defense' there Tonks. Though, Remus, I think you looked a little awkward down there."

"Well the audience certainly didn't help." Remus said stiffly. "If we had been alone or-"

"Alone?!?!" Sirius exclaimed. "Why? So that Tonks could pop out multi-coloured werecubs nine months later!?!?"

"That's NOT what I meant."

"Alright, whatever-" Sirius said with a yawn. "Go upstairs and take your cold shower Moony."

Remus opened his mouth and looked so appalled; he couldn't seem to form coherent words.

"I- am…going to kill…you. In a…very, very- painful- you, are-"

"Yes, I am quite aware that you have every intention of murdering me later." Sirius said lazily. "Go clean the house or something before Molly come back and interrogates you as well."

Remus quickly left the room before Tonks or Sirius could say another word. Tonks turned to her cousin, her hand on her hip and with the sternest look she could muster.

"What?" he asked her.

"That was very cruel of you."

"But entirely worth it." He said. "Unless you want to be waiting forever for him young Tonks, you need to learn that sometimes Remus just needs a little nudge in the right direction."

"You and Mad-Eye had him practically ontop of me!"

"Alright so it was a rather big nudge, one might go as far to say a 'shove'. My point is, you weren't complaining." He grinned.

Tonks tried to stare him down and appear serious but she couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her own.

"Ha. I thought so." Sirius said. "He really does fancy you, you know."

She rolled her eyes."So you've told me."

But Sirius shook his head, "No. He really does…a lot. But he's afraid."

"I had a feeling he was." Tonks said gloomily.

Sirius looked surprised. "You knew?"

"He's afraid because he thinks he's going to mess up my life or something if he gets together with me because he's a werewolf. Am I right?" she asked dully.

"I'm impressed. You basically nailed it."

She scowled. "Damn."

"But aside from that one tiny little detail and the fact that he believes he's too old for you- he really does fancy you."

"Brilliant." Tonks said sarcastically. "But tell me this, if he fancies me-why did he want to leave so badly earlier instead of helping me with self-defense?"

"Because Remus needed defending from himself." Sirius chuckled. "He's trying to fight himself on this and now he's slowly starting to realize that there's no need to fight it."

"So he's avoiding me because he fancies me?" Tonks asked. "That makes no sense."

"Sure it does. Just think of when you were a young student and you fancied someone way out of your league. Did you walk right up to them and declare your undying love for them or did you try to hide it and deal with it quietly until you ever got the chance?"

Tonks thought about this and realized her cousin had a point. "I suppose…" she said slowly.

"Don't worry about Remus, he'll gather his guts soon enough and come out in the open to admit he fancies you. Until then, you'll just have to wait and or help him along. And speaking of Remus, where the hell is he?"

"He's probably just gone upstairs to finish cleaning the bathroom." Tonks said.

Sirius opened his mouth but before he could say anything- the noise through the pipes of the shower being turned on upstairs cut him off. His grin widened. "Well I suppose that's one possibility, if that's what you really want to believe."

"Just cleaning the bathroom…" Tonks said but with an enormous smile on her face.

Sirius handed her a bottle of butterbeer and with matching grins they clinked their bottles together in a celebratory toast.


	8. More than friends

_Authors note: This is a very, very short, but very important chapter. I am freakin exhausted these days, and so therefore I know this one is written more 'crappily' written than the others, maybe I'll go back and edit it in the future- but I think the basic idea is down at least. The plot isn't what I'm having an issue with-it's the freakin way I write it. Arghhhh…By the way, the next chapter is going to be…LONGGGGGGG…Be prepared. :)_

* * *

**Chapter Eight-More than friends**

Although Christmas was still aways away- Nymphadora Tonks was in a festive mood. Even Sirius seemed less gloomy these days when she occasionally dropped by and she suspected that the one thing that would really make Sirius's Christmas would be if Harry came to visit.

Upon flooing her way to #12, Tonks stepped unsteadily out of the hearth and boldly began singing with her eyes screwed shut, to the turned back of the dark haired man she had just glimpsed in the corner of the kitchen.

"Oh, I just want you for my own! More than you could ever know! Make my wish come true! BABY, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS….. ISSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Tonks screeched, her hands over her heart. She opened her eyes to see Severus Snape standing there, his cold black eyes narrowed in disgust.

"Oh- er, sorry." Tonks said as she felt her face start burning with embarrassment. "Er, you know how it is…holiday cheer!"

Another second longer with that man and her in the same room and he would undoubtfully murder her on the spot.

"Right well, I'd better be going." She said hurriedly as she all but ran towards the door. _Why the hell do I always end up in ridiculous situations like that?_ she wondered.

She was almost up at the top of the stairs, and had her hand on the door when it suddenly opened and she found herself face to face with a pale, tired-looking Remus Lupin.

"Wotcher, Remus!" she said happily going to his left to get by. Remus had just taken a step to his right so they nearly collided- he took a step in the other direction, but Tonks had just stepped that way herself. Now, awkwardly off balance- Tonks stumbled forward but Remus caught her.

"Are you alright?" His voice was rather grim and the smile that was so customary upon seeing him wasn't there.

"F-fine." Tonks said, looking at him curiously. He was staring at the floor and didn't seem to be able to bring himself to look in her eyes. "Are you?"

'Yes. Quite, thank you." There was a short pause. "If you'll excuse me. I have to go out soon…you know, tracking."

"Oh, right now? I have to go tracking later with Emmeline myself, but not until much later."

"Ah," he said, looking about distractedly. "Well, I'll see you later perhaps or maybe tomorrow."

And he had just gone by her without a single glance in her direction.

"Remus!"

He turned his eyes on her for the smallest fraction of a second before flickering to the ground again. "Yes, Tonks?"

She blinked. "Nothing."

He headed back down the stairs without another word. For a moment she could only stare blankly after him before leaving the kitchen and making her way up to the top rooms of the house.

Upon reaching Mrs. Black's old bedroom room, she didn't even knock. She walked in and preformed the quickest of bows to the hippogriff in the corner before going over to her cousin.

"Tonks!" Sirius said. "Good to see you. Is that slimy git still downstairs?"

"Yes, Snape's still here and I just professed my undying love for him through singing." Tonks said.

"Ha. Good one." He laughed.

"No, I'm not kidding. I really did just sing to him of my undying love in a Christmas song."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I thought it was you, and was fooling around and singing with my eyes shut-"

Sirius's mouth dropped. "You thought that Snape was ME?"

"His back was turned!"

Sirius turned away with an angry huff. "You thought I was Snape…" he growled.

"My vision was blurred through the floo powder, and I was dizzy!"

Sirius looked incredibly sulky.

"Oh come'on Sirius, I should be the one moping! Snape's going to think I'm madly in love with him now and to top it off, Remus is mad at me!"

Sirius's head shot up at this. "What? Why?"

Tonks sat down on the dusty floor as Buckbeak came cautiously over to her, eyeing her pink hair. "I don't know why, but he is."

Sirius shook his head. "Impossible. I just was talking to him. He was fine."

"Well I just encountered him on the stairs and he seemed angry."

"Why? Wha'd he say? How was he acting?"

Tonks sighed. "He kept avoiding my eyes, and he wasn't saying much at all…I don't know. I could just tell something was wrong."

"Is that it?"

Tonks bit her lip nervously. "He called me 'Tonks'."

"As opposed to…?"

"He never called me Tonks!" she cried. "He always called me 'Nymphadora' when its just us two by ourselves!"

Sirius put up his hands in front of him. "Whoa, steady on. Too much information."

"Not like that." She said irritably, swatting at him. "I meant when no one else is around he calls me 'Nymphadora'. Always. He does it to tease me. He only calls me Tonks when you're around or other people."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What's wrong with him?" Tonks asked sadly.

But Sirius didn't answer and instead began slowly walking around the dusty room, appearing to be in deep thought. There was a sharp poke on her head and Tonks looked up to see Buckbeak who seemed fascinated by her pink hair and was attempting to poke it with his beak.

She reached out and stroked his feathery head to keep him from attacking her hair again as she waited for Sirius's answer.

"It could be two things." Her cousin finally said, his back turned to her. "One, he's being a total bastard and is pushing you away because he wants nothing to do with you and he's completely uninterested in you."

Tonks grimaced. "Not a very comforting notion at this point. Option two?"

"Option two…" Sirius said, as he turned around to face her with a very sly smile on his waxy face. "The breaking point is night. The fall of Remus John Lupin is imminent."

* * *

Tonks talked to Sirius for a few hours and by the time she checked the time again, she realized she was already late. She tore out of the room and ran down through the house at a breakneck sprint, hoping Emmeline wouldn't be furious with her. 

Upon reaching the top of the main stairs, she accidentally stepped on the front of her robes and before she could do anything- felt herself pitch forward.

'Bur-ump-pa-pa! Bur-ump-pa-pa!'

Tonks went rolling down the stairs like a rag doll. She tried unsuccessfully to stop herself as she started somersaulting down the stairs.

'Bur-ump-pa-pa! Bur-ump-pa-pa!'

To her surprise- it suddenly stopped as Tonks fell upright straight into someone's arms- her spinning head up against a warm, tweed jumper.

"Arghhhhhh…" she moaned. She looked up at her rescuer and of course it was Remus, looking just as startled as she felt.

Remus stared at her, and she stared at him- neither of them had moved. The seconds were lengthening but time seemed to have strangely lost all of its meaning. He looked dazed- like he was the one who had fallen down a long flight of stairs instead of her.

Then, to Tonks's utter amazement (at first she thought that she was hallucinating from her fall) Remus leaned forward ever so slightly and softly grazed his lips against hers for a fraction of a second before suddenly pulling back.

It was just grazing, but the spark- the feeling that had shot through her entire body like lightening when their lips had touched was so wonderful, so magical….realizing that it was no hallucination she threw her arms around him and was ready to place her lips back on his when she realized it had been a terrible mistake-

Caught completely off balance as Tonks had put almost all her weight on top of him- Remus put a foot back to steady himself, but it was already too late-

'Bur-ump-pa-pa! Bur-ump-pa-pa!'

Both Tonks and Remus ended up falling down the rest of the stairs- Tonks's leg went flying out when she hit the bottom and it knocked over a small table with a glass vase on it.

SMASH! Glass went flying everywhere, showering her trapped under the fallen table and Remus who had landed on his back a little ways away. The portraits hanging all around the walls woke with a start and immediately began making the usual screaming racket.

The door leading to the downstairs kitchen flew open and Sirius, Bill and Hestia all ran into the hall looking worried.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Sirius asked loudly over all the noise.

Her face had to be burning like a red beacon. "I fell-" she said lamely.

Hestia was running around stunning the angry portraits with her wand.

"Reparo." Bill said casually, pointing his wand at the broken vase. The pieces flew together and rearranged themselves so they were whole again.

Sirius looked over at his friend who was getting up off of the floor rubbing the small of his back.

"I, I- bumped into Remus." she continued as felt her face grow even more crimson.

Remus nodded his agreement, his ears, she noticed-were rather pink. He looked over and saw her watching him from the floor, turned and coughed.

Sirius looked very sour, he stormed over to the portrait of his mother that Bill and Hestia were now trying to pull the curtains over and helped them. Tonks stood up and stared at Remus who was looking back at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Within seconds, the hall was quiet again.

"Are you alright?" Hestia asked her kindly.

She nodded. "I'm fine. Thanks."

Bill gave her an encouraging smile before following Hestia down to the kitchen. Sirius was nowhere to be seen now.

"Right." She said quietly to Remus. "I should probably go. I'm late as it were."

"Of course." He said, stepping aside so she could pass.

She took a step forward and stopped. "Remus?"

"Yes?"

She opened her mouth, but had no idea what to say. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to know, and so much bloody confusion- but she ended up just shaking her head and walking forward towards the door without another word.

And suddenly she felt a cool, firm hand gently grab her own. She turned and saw Remus standing there behind her, holding her hand. He looked paler than usual in the dark entrance hall.

"I know you have to go, but I just…I mean, I just wanted to say before you did…"

She waited on baited breath.

He couldn't seem to find the right words. He looked at her helplessly for a moment before raising her hand to his lips and lightly kissing it.

_Oh…my…god…that has got to be the sweetest thing-_

She wanted to blow off the mission entirely and throw herself at him right there on the spot and snog him madly.

"Good luck." He said quietly, as he opened the door for her.

"Thanks." She forced herself to take a step outside into the cold night before she stared into the darkness for a moment. _Just turn around and kiss him back- do it now! _She took a deep breath before turning around, "Remus-" she said. Her puckered lips met the dark door that had suddenly closed behind her. She frowned. She wasn't sure if she should scream with happiness or scream with frustration. In the end, she ended up doing neither. Emmeline was probably furious, or very worried- she'd have to find Remus and talk to him later. Reisisting the terrible temptation to break down the door right then and there and throw her arms around Remus Lupin, she grit her teeth and apparated away into the night with a loud crack.

* * *

Remus stared at the shut door, his hand still on the handle- wishing he was six feet below the earth and with a cold, grey slab ontop of him. _I...am…such…a…prat. _he thought. _Way to go…really, __bloody brilliant __that was. _

Before he could think of what to do, or how to kill himself and end his misery, he heard a familiar voice from behind him.

"Well, well, well…"

Remus turned to see Sirius leaning against the parlour doorframe, a smile on his face. "Just friends, still?"

"I swear that we-"

"Come in and have a drink- we need to talk."

Remus followed his friend into the room and Sirius, still wearing a friendly smile, gestured to one of the parlour chairs before locking the door and clearing his throat,

"Alright, there's something I got to clear up…." He said, the friendly smile quickly becoming pained.

Remus waited for the explosion and sure enough, it came.

"YOU KISSED HER ON THE HAND?!?!?" his dark-haired friend shouted. "WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT ARE YOU?!?!"

Remus sat down in one of the chairs with a sigh. "I beg your pardon?"

Sirius slapped his hand to his head looking completely aghast. "WHO **DOES **SUCH A THING?!?!"

"Well, I just did. I believed that it was in order-"

Sirius let out a scathing snort. "Oh my god. It's worse than I thought. I've been in prison for thirteen years and I'm still better at understanding women than you are. What time period do you think this is Remus? 1895?"

"Sirius, please-" Remus said rolling his eyes. He noticed the Daily Prophet lying off to the side and he picked it up, reading the headlines in order to distract himself from the current situation.

"Ah!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically, raising his grey eyes to the ceiling and placing his hand over his heart. "He shall woo the fair lady Tonks-he shall sing her love songs on his mandolin and compose her beautiful sonnets that describe of his undying love for her!"

"That's enough."

"-He shall sigh up to the starry sky and think of how they reflect his true love's eyes-he shall sigh but again as he thinks upon what his pink-haired lady may be stumbling over as he thinks of her at that very moment-"

Remus sighed and buried his head behind the paper.

"'Alas! The love of women! It is known to be a lovely and fearful thing!'" Sirius said loudly falling to his knees- his arms outstretched comically towards the ceiling. "Woe to my pitiful werewolf hide that I am suffering from such an affliction!"

"You have made your point." Remus said dryly.

Sirius got up from off the ground and dusted himself off. "Seriously Moony, what the hell were you thinking?"

Remus ignored him.

"I mean really! Why would you do that?"

Remus continued to hide his face behind the paper.

Unfortunately Sirius wouldn't give up so easily. "Moony, mate- listen to me. I'm her cousin and I am giving you full permission to go snog her senseless. You know you want to do it-"

"Sirius-"

"I'm not finished yet." Sirius said dryly. "Kissing her on the hand may be all noble and everything but its hardly the modern way of suggesting a possible relationship."

"And you'd know all about that wouldn't you?" Remus snapped.

"Well I'm still better than you as I pointed out earlier. What are you getting her for Christmas?"

Remus frowned. "I'm not sure- I was thinking of buying her jewelry or something."

"Oh good." Sirius said flopping back down into his chair.

"Why 'good'?"

"Because that at least shows that you're really serious about her and you are taking the right steps to suggesting a possible romantic relationship between you two. I'd have to kick your arse if you said you were going to buy her some personalized stationary or something."

"That was my next option." Remus admitted.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Stupid wanker."

Remus set aside the paper. "And out of sheer curiosity Sirius, when have you EVER been in a serious relationship?"

"Never." Sirius said proudly. "I like women- enjoy women but can honestly say I was never in a serious relationship."

"Why?" Remus asked curiously. He had honestly not expected that type of an answer.

"Why?" Sirius repeated. "Because I'm a coward Remus."

Remus was startled by his friend's bold, honest answer. "What?"

"You heard me- I'm a coward. Do you want to know why? It's because with every women I've ever been with- as soon as I knew things were getting serious between us…I backed off. Because that's what love is Remus- its jumping into something where your vulnerable to having yourself broken or held captive by someone else. It's reaching beyond the physical and entering something deeper and more profound. You have to surrender your entire self and take a chance that you'll find something wonderful-you might not ever find it, but that's the risk of love...the real beauty of love actually. And as for me, despite all the mad things I've done, I'm too afraid of the possible, painful consequences of love to take that real risk."

Remus was stunned, but not for the first time by Sirius's honesty and baffling logic.

Sirius grinned. "And I just thought of that without a single drop of alcohol. Impressive, huh?"

"Sirius…" Remus said firmly. "I can't do this."

"Of course you can. You won't. There's a difference."

Remus ran his hands through his graying hair. "I'm far too old-"

"It could be a May-December romance." Sirius suggested. "Nothing too unusual about that." His dark haired friend stopped suddenly and looked critically at his reflection in a dirty mirror. "Do you think I look like Snivellus from behind?"

"What?" Remus asked in surprise.

Sirius frowned and ran a hand through his long, untidy hair. "Never mind." He said, as he turned his attention back to Remus. "Moony…listen to your wild, inner voice-"

"Funny." Remus said coolly. "My 'wild' and rebellious inner voice always sounds like you."

"That's ironic, because my inner voice of boring reason and rationale always sounded like you." Sirius grinned. "And what's even more ironic is that I always ignore you both, the inner voice and the real one."

"Hilarious." Remus dully remarked. He still had no idea what to do and his head was swimming with confusion and many jumbled thoughts. He was alone on this. He had no sensible help or advice from anyone. All of Sirius's suggestions were excluded. Following Sirius's advice most always led on to bigger problems and lots of painful humiliation.

He stood up and headed towards the door.

"Where is the penniless sitar player going off to?" Sirius asked.

"I thought I was playing a mandolin earlier."

"Whatever you play, you'll still sing like a eunuch."

Remus sighed in exasperation. "I need to think for a while…"

"And I need a drink. Preferably a very strong one. " Sirius grumbled. "I'm getting sick of this ridiculous relationship of Tonks and yours that seems to be going nowhere but in circles."

* * *

"So you two had better be careful because your women and if you need anything, you can just- Tonks? TONKS?" 

Tonks snapped herself out of her tumultuous thoughts and forced herself to stare at Mad-Eye. Since she had left Grimmauld Place, and found Emmeline where Moody had been waiting with her-and it still was all but impossible to think of the work they had to do at hand. All she could think about was Remus…on the stairs…he had basically kissed her. Or started to kiss her-but he had pulled back. Why?

"Yeah?" she finally said to Moody who had been watching her closely.

"If anything happens to you two ladies, will you just shove aside your stubborn female pride and get help?"

"Hm? Oh yes, of course."

He looked surprised at that. Most likely because he hadn't received an argument that normally would have followed his words. He'd probably end up testing her later for being Imperiused or something. She looked up into the dark, starry sky and smiled. Though the winter night was quite cold and her breath could be visibly seen- she had never felt warmer before in her life.

* * *

_Author's note: Huzzah for 'Moulin Rouge' references! haha. Couldn't resist. _


	9. Truth

_Authors note: This was a fun and yet very draining chapter. I ended up shortening a lot of it though just because it was so freakin long. (and it still is). And there were so many rewrites, I can't even begin to tell you- but I think I like this current version, so its staying for now._

_Over two thousands hits! I luv you guys:D_

* * *

**Chapter Nine-'Truth'**

Remus ascended the old stairs quietly. The portraits around him were sleeping, some of the older ones drooling- but one small creak and they'd probably all wake up. Step on a squeaky stair and the entire house would blow up like a landmine.

He saw the decorated house-elf heads on the wall and bit back a laugh. Sirius obviously was in a good mood. He assumed that the new company of the Weasely family was the cause of it, and Harry of course.

He reached the top safely and walked down the dark hall toward the faint glow peeping out from under one of the doors. When he reached it opened the door cautiously, more from habit than anything else.

"It's alright Moony- it's not like I'm practicing hexes in here." came a familiar, but oddly cheerful voice from the inside of the small sitting room.

He opened up the door the rest of the way, a slight frown on his face. "How did you know it was me?"

Sirius was sitting in the large uncomfortable armchair, facing the crackling fire with a large tankard in his hands. He had turned around to face him, an unusually genuine smile on his face.

"Well," he said. "I know we don't have a ghost in this dump and with the kids upstairs dreaming of dancing sugerplums, if doors start opening on their own accord at this hour, it means you most likely are behind it." He gestured carelessly to the twin armchair next to him. "Sit down."

Remus walked over and sat down. The fire was emitting a pleasant warmth and with the room finally cleaned up from the many years of accumulated dust and cobwebs, the atmosphere seemed almost peaceful and friendly. It was easy to forget that the rest of the house was cold, dark and dreary. Right then, it seemed #12 Grimmauld Place was an actually pleasant place.

"You want some?" Sirius asked holding out his tankard. '

"What is it?" he frowned.

"Oh come'on Moony, its not poison…then again…"

"What is it?" he repeated, trying to peer into the murky contents that reeked so strongly he nearly recoiled.

Sirius sighed, obviously exasperated with his friend being so unadventurous. "Well to be perfectly honest. I don't really know. Tastes like some bizarre sort of wine or brandy. I'm not dead, so I'm assuming its safe. I found it stored in that pitifully ugly safe in the dining room."

"You don't say."

"I know. There were all these protective storage spells on it, so it took awhile to break. But its worth it." Sirius said, conjuring up another tankard from the air and began to pour some of the strange brandy into it from a small vat that was sitting on the small table nearby. When done, he handed it to him.

"Sirius, I can't drink this-"

"You can and you will. It's Christmas you pathetic, miserable excuse for a bloke."

He'd probably regret it later, but he took it. "Thanks."

They sat there in silence for sometime, Remus took a cautious sip of the brandy and felt his eyes water as all the air left his lungs when the strange beverage burned its way down his throat. Whatever it really was, it was far stronger than firewhiskey.

"Dear god." Remus gasped, coughing hard.

Sirius laughed outright at his friend's reaction and then yawned loudly. "So…Christmas tomorrow."

"Yes. I saw the decorations. Marvelous."

"Thanks. Do you think Harry will like his present?"

"I have no doubt."

"Oh, thanks for rewrapping it by the way."

"Your welcome."

He watched his dark haired friend for a moment who was staring deeply into the fire. "What are you thinking about, Sirius?"

"Nothing really. Just thinking about some of the old Christmas parties. You know, the ones that James and Lily managed to throw together whenever they could?"

Remus smiled. "I don't think I could ever forget them."

"They always threw the best parties, even in the worst of times."

"That they did."

"Remember that one time we were all up on the roof, singing and Frank Longbottom fell off and broke his collarbone?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, but he didn't notice it until the next day and Alice dragged him off to St Mungos after he tried to reset it himself. Wasn't that also the same time the house caught fire?"

"No that was another party. I remember that one though, all the muggle flamemen-"

"-firemen-"

"Whatever. They all ended up coming over to put it own since we were too smashed to use magic and just do it ourselves-"

"How did it start?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Well I always assumed it was you that started it."

Sirius frowned. "Was it? I don't remember." He appeared deep in thought for a moment until a small smile spread across his face. "Oh. Yes. That was me."

"How did it start?"

A truly wicked look lit up Sirius's face. "Sorry mate, but I'm taking that one with me to the grave."

"Fair enough." Remus said. "I can already imagine some frightening possibilities and I don't really want to pry too deeply into them."

"-I was wearing the Siegfried Gemainus tights…"

"Already too much information." Remus grimaced.

Suddenly there was a soft thud on the landing outside and a familiar voice swearing angrily but softly.

Sirius stood up and opened the door where Tonks was lying there- sprawled on the floor.

"I hate that rug." She said as a greeting. "I think it has a grudge against me. I always trip on it."

Sirius helped her up gently and she ended up catching Remus's eye. "What's going in here? How is everything?"

"Christmas nightcap." Remus said awkwardly. He had no idea what to say or do in front of Nymphadora Tonks anymore. His heart started pounding nervously. Was she going to mention what had happened between them the last time they had encountered eachother?

"How are you?" Tonks asked him.

"I'm well. How are you?"

She nodded. "Fine. Thanks."

"That's…great to hear."

Sirius closed the door behind Tonks and bowed to them both mock. "My good sir and madam, it is a fine evening for such formality. Shall we sit down, or shall we stand with pokers up our arses-?"

"Shut up!" Tonks said. She turned to Remus with a grin. "If he gets really annoying, do you want to help me hex him?"

"My pleasure." Remus said. It seemed as if Tonks was more than ready to move on from that awkward day on the stairs. Things obviously were back to normal between them. Perhaps if he could just forget about and ignore what happened that day-

She really did have such a beautiful smile.

_Bugger._ He thought angrily. _Focus! She's your friend. Nothing more!_

"Well, really you two-it's Christmas, relax!"

"I really didn't have any intention of staying here fore very long. Kingsley had just asked me to drop off some reports for Mad-Eye." Tonks said cheerfully. "Why are you here Remus?"

"I'm going with Mad-Eye tomorrow to help escort the Weasleys and Harry to the hospital. Their all planning on visiting Arthur."

"How is he doing by the way?" Sirius asked.

"From the sounds of it, very well." said Tonks. "Well…I already dropped off the maps so I guess I'll be on my way then."

Sirius gestured carelessly about the room. "Well stay for a minute, what's the rush? It's Christmas Eve cuz."

She seemed to think about this for a moment before shrugging and said, "Oh fine, what the hell. I could do with a break anyways."

Sirius beamed at her. "Excellent."

She flopped down on the couch. "So what were you two talking about before I interrupted?" she asked as Remus pushed the sofa closer over to the fire so that she could join them.

"Oh, we were just taking a stroll down memory lane." said Sirius.

"-and remembering the stupidest thing Sirius has ever done." Remus added mildly.

"What was it?"

"Almost burning down James and Lily's house at a party."

"That wasn't the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"Oh?"

"Hardly." confirmed Sirius as he poured Tonks a drink.

"Then what was it?" asked Tonks, looking rather interested.

Sirus handed her a drink before sitting down in his own armchair again.

"It was probably the day I trusted Peter and told James that he should be their secret-keeper." He said in a bitter voice. His face looked so angry and so murderous, after being so jovial that it was slightly terrifying.

Luckily, Remus had had this conversation plenty of time with Sirius before, so he knew what to say, "It wasn't your fault Sirius." He said gently. "Nobody suspected Peter would do what he did."

Tonks bit her lip nervously; looking slightly upset that she had unintentionally caused Sirius to remember something that still caused him so much pain. Remus noticed this and smiled encouragingly at her to let her know that it wasn't her fault.

"We've all made mistakes at some time or another." he said firmly.

"Yeah, except you Remus." Sirius said with a humourless laugh.

"Well actually disobeying my parents and wandering into the local woods at night was one of the first mistakes and possibly the stupidest thing I've ever done." He said coldly.

Sirius stared at him for a minute. "Sorry Moony." He said looking very sincere.

Remus shrugged. "I'm not asking for an apology."

"Well the stupidest thing I've ever done is bring up this whole conversation." Tonks said guiltily.

Sirius started laughing and Remus couldn't help himself as he began to laugh as well.

"Hey!" said Sirius suddenly. "I've got an idea, let's play 'Truth'!"

"No, lets not." Remus said quickly.

"Come'on Moony-"

"How much have you had to drink already?" he asked him seriously.

"Pleeeeease?"

"You know how much I hate that game."

"What's Truth?" asked Tonks.

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's a ridiculous game, and a complete waste of time."

"What else have we got to do?" Sirius pointed out. Then he turned to Tonks. "Truth is something we occasionally used to play at school, someone comes up with a question and everyone answers it…truthfully, hence the title. Simple rules."

"Obviously played during times of extreme boredom." Remus added.

Tonks's dark eyes were twinkling. "Sounds fun."

"See Moony? Tonks wants to play it."

Remus looked at Sirius's eager face and Tonks's encouraging one and found himself quickly succumbing.

"Fine." He sighed. "I'll play it too, though I'll probably regret it in the end."

"YES!" Sirius said triumphantly.

Tonks grinned at Remus and he felt as if his hear was being tightly squeezed in a large vice.

_Cut it out…_he told himself sharply. _Don't even start to think about her again like that. You already botched it up earlier, that day on the stairs- _

"I'll come up with the first question." Sirius announced, interrupting his thoughts. He stroked his chin thoughtfully before saying. "Got it. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?"

Remus actually sighed with relief. Sirius was notorious for coming up with the most awkward and personal questions. On a scale from one to ten, this question was about a negative six.

"What exactly is the definition of 'crazy'?" Tonks frowned.

Sirius shrugged. "Well…you know…crazy."

"Does playing quidditch count?" Remus seriously asked.

"No Moony, that's not crazy enough."

"For me it is."

"It's not good enough!"

Knowing that Sirius would not give up pestering him until he retold something crazy enough, he began to rack his brain.

"How about playing this game?" Remus said as he tried stalling for time.

Sirius shook his head. "I know that your life isn't that dull mate."

Then a memory popped into his head. "Right, how about trying to convince a pack of blood covered, starving, adrenaline drunk werewolves in the middle of the Black forest in Germany that killing witches and wizards is not a good thing to do?"

Sirius grinned. "That'll do for now I guess…Tonks?"

But Tonks was staring at Remus in awe. "How on earth did you survive?"

"It's a long story." He replied honestly. "Happened years ago during the first Order."

"Yeah, it'll take him three days to explain it- he'll tell you some other day. Now answer the question." Said Sirius.

"Well compared to you two, I haven't done anything that could possibly compete with the stuff you've done."

"That's not true." Said Remus.

Tonks finally took a sip of her brandy and grimaced. "Lovely." She said sarcastically eyeing it with distaste. "Hm… let me think…crazy thing….I suppose there's always the time I broke into my bosses office."

"Whose office?" Sirius asked. "Scrimgeour's?"

"Oh no! Not him. No… it actually was Fudge."

Sirius and Remus stared at her, slackjawed.

"You broke into the Minister of Magic's office?" Remus asked weakly. "Why?"

"Well, that's the crazy part. Stupid really, now that I think about it. I was new on the job and everything, it was the first day for me and I passed him in one of the halls. He looked me over and commented how it looked like someone was trying to grow grass on my head, my hair was green that day- and so, I sought my revenge." She said dramatically. She took another sip of her brandy. "I planned it out very carefully, the following week I managed to sneak into his side office and filled one of his sugar bowls with 'Green Gerard's magical grass grower'. Well, to put it quite simply- he was obviously quite fond of sugar because I found out later that as shortly after his morning tea, he had little green leaves sprouting out all over his face for the better part of the day." She sighed reminiscently as she thought of her precious memory.

"Well Moony, I think Tonks would have made a great Marauder." Sirius said looking at his younger cousin with nothing short of glowing approval.

"Undoubtfully." Remus agreed.

Tonks's cheeks went a light pink and she tried to cover it by taking a large swig of her brandy which she ended up clumsily spilling down the front of her robes.

"Well Sirius, answer the question." Remus said hastily so that his friend wouldn't start laughing at Tonks's clumsiness.

"Ah, right!" Sirius said cheerfully. "Where can I begin?!?! I've done a lot of crazy things but today there's one that's most vividly coming to mind is the time I worked for a brief time at as strip club."

Remus's inconveniently had taken large sip of his brandy and at Sirius's words could not prevent his large gulp from spraying across the room.

"WHAT?" Tonks exclaimed, looking as if she was uncertain to be impressed or disgusted.

"Yup." Sirius chuckled.

Remus coughed hard trying to get air back into his lungs. "Do you have any consideration for my sanity, Sirius?" he gasped.

"Well you did agree to play 'Truth'. I never forced you to."

"When on earth did you work for a strip club? And how did I ever miss hearing this story?"

"Well I obviously don't try to tell it too many people Moony-"

"You worked as a STRIPPER!"

"For a short time." Sirius said lazily. "I needed money; this was shortly after I ran low on Uncle Alphard's charity donation."

Remus shook his head. "Did it every occur to you that getting a job would be a wise course of action?"

"Hey, I was rolling in galleons after that little scheme- plus the owners of the establishment said I was always welcome to come back since I was so unusually good at-"

"Stop! Stop! STOP! Stop it RIGHT there!" Tonks cried, shielding her face with her hands as if it would help block the unwanted mental images. "Dear god Sirius, do you want to scar me for life?"

Sirius grinned wickedly. "I also dressed up as a drag queen once at-"

"STOP!" Remus and Tonks cried in unison.

Sirius let out a barklike laugh. "It was for a laugh! Merlin's balls, since you two are so sensitive about it; I'll find the costume and wear it tomorrow for Christmas. Harry would like it."

"Yeah, seeing his godfather in drag is always such a warm, thoughtful seasonal gift." Tonks snorted. "I'm sure he'll love it."

Sirius grinned and took a moment to take a drink from his tankard. "Maybe I will then, come'on Moony, your question now."

"What's your favorite colour?" he asked dully.

Sirius made a noise of deep disgust but before he could say anything, Tonks had spoken up.

"I like purple." She said. "Most defiantly purple on Tuesdays."

"What do you have a favorite colour for each day of the week?" Sirius sighed, feeling obligated now to answer the question. "You come up with the most boring questions Moony, fine then. Black I guess."

"How original." Tonks said sarcastically.

"I look sexy in black." Sirius said and then started to grin. "And I looked damn good in purple too you know-"

"Stop." Remus said sternly. "We don't want to hear about any of your cross-dressing exploits."

"You've wounded me Remus." Sirius said pretending to look offended. "Sometimes I wonder why I still call you my friend. Now, answer your damn question so we can move on."

"Pink." Remus said before he could stop himself. "Most defiantly pink."

Tonks's face lit up. "I told you it grows on you."

"It did."

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he watched them both.

Tonks pulled out her wand. "And so if you're sincere about it- you obviously wouldn't mind, would you if I was to turn your hair pink again?"

Remus had his own wand out in a flash, "Do you still like grey, Nymphadora?"

"It's grown on me." She said with a smile.

"Glad to hear it."

"Knock it off you two, lets continue- whose turn is it?"

"It's mine!" Tonks said happily. "I get to come up with a question now."

"Alright then, go ahead."

She pulled up her knees to her chest and sat there on the sofa, rocking gently trying to come up with a question.

"What…" she began and then paused for a moment before smiling and saying, "is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?"

Remus groaned. Tonks was without a doubt, Sirius's cousin.

"Good one." Sirius said with admiration. "Alright then, my most embarrassing moment…hmmmm….that's actually hard, I dunno. I don't really have anything I can look back on and be truly embarrassed about."

Remus started to smile. "I can think of one."

Sirius stared at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't like that sly Marauder smile on your face."

"Two- no, four words…'McGonagall' and 'the Three Broomsticks'."

Within seconds Sirius's face was a look of complete, aghast horror.

"You wouldn't dare." He croaked.

Tonks was staring at her cousin with sudden interest. "What? What was it?"

Remus leaned back against his chair, smirking. "Sirius can tell you."

"No!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you breaking the golden rules of the noble game of 'Truth'?"

"I won't tell! Do you know how horrifying that memory is? How many times I've tried to erase it?!?! That was one memory in Azkaban that never left! It just kept haunting me….over and over…"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I won't tell it!" Sirius declared.

"If you don't, I will." Remus said simply.

"What happened?" Tonks pleaded.

Remus cleared his throat after watching his friend who was glaring at him stubbornly, arms crossed.

"Right, well in our seventh year we were in the Three Broomsticks for a trip to Hogsmeade. It was Valentine's Day and Sirius-"

"Shut up." Sirius snapped. "I'll tell it."

"You don't trust me to tell it properly?"

"You need to hear it from my point of view."

Remus managed to hide his smile. "Of course."

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, looking as if he were in utmost pain. "It was Valentine's Day, and as a prank I got a hold of some unique love potion. I was going to slip it into James and Lily's drinks because they had been having a terrible row for the past couple of days. But…"

"He got drunk." Remus said.

"Shut up." Sirius snarled. "Yes. I did."

Tonks bit her lip and Remus could tell she was trying to avoid laughing.

Sirius ran his hands through his hair. "I was old enough to drink legally, so I…took advantage of it."

"And what has changed in recent years?" Remus asked sarcastically.

Sirius ignored him. "So I had…one too many and by the time I slipped the potion into James's and Lily's drink I was rather sloshed. I was sitting next to James and so with the table covered in bottles, I couldn't remember which one was mine. And I took the wrong glass…"

"The unique thing about the love potion was that you would fall in love with the first person you saw." Remus said to Tonks. "James and Lily were sitting across from eachother at the table and so it was supposed to be "flawless"."

"It would have worked!" Sirius said defensively.

"It could have." Remus admitted. "But it didn't."

Sirius paused for a moment as if he were struggling for the strength to carry on. "So…I took James's potion by accident and the first person I saw in the crowded pub was my transfiguration teacher who had just stood up from her table."

Tonks gasped. "Oh god."

Remus covered his mouth with his hands to contain his laughter.

Sirius grimaced as if the memory was actually making him physically sick. "So, I got up and went over-"

"If I remember correctly you called out her name so loudly when you stood up, the entire pub fell silent." Remus said.

Sirius glared at him. "Yes." He said grudgingly. "I called out "Minerva McGongall" so loudly everyone heard and turned to watch me-."

"You said it quite ardently if I recall." Remus smiled.

"And I went stumbling across the room to throw myself into her arms."

"She was rather stunned I think." Remus said. "I might go as far to say- completely horrified."

"And she said, 'Mr. Black! Have you been drinking?!?!' " Sirius groaned "and I still had my arms around her-"

"'Your glasses are soooo…square.'" Remus quoted.

"Yeah, I was tracing the frame of her glasses-"

"Quite lovingly."

"And then…" Sirius stopped and buried his head in his hands, looking anguished. "I can't say it."

"Go ahead." Remus said encouragingly.

"I can't."

"This is the best part." Remus said cheerfully to Tonks.

"It's just too awful."

"Say it!" Tonks begged.

"No." Sirius moaned.

"I'll tell her if you don't." Remus threatened.

Sirius glared at him.

"He…" Remus began encouragingly.

Sirius buried his head in his hands. "I can't. Nooooo…"

"Come'on Sirius-"

"Nooooooo."

Remus sighed and shook his head before turning to Tonks. "He kissed her."

Tonks gasped. "NO!"

"Oh yes." Remus laughed.

"Moony!" Sirius roared, lifting his head, looking absolutely irate.

"YOU KISSED HER?!?!" Tonks shrieked leaping off of the sofa.

"I was DRUNK!" Sirius bellowed. "And completely smashed from that stupid love potion!"

Remus burst out laughing.

"Its…not…FUNNY!" Sirius yelled.

"That is…you…oh-" Tonks shuddered. "Oh sweet Merlin."

"I wasn't thinking CLEARLY!"

"YOU KISSED PROFESSOR MCGONGALL!" Tonks cried throwing herself back onto the sofa to grab a cushion and cover her head with it.

"It wasn't my FAULT!"

"You need to finish the story." Remus pointed out.

"What's more is there to say?" Sirius spat. "I kissed my transfiguration teacher in front of a whole pub filled with my fellow classmates."

"A very passionate kiss if I remember."

"It was the love potion! Not my sane mind!"

"An ardent Valentine's Day snog until she recovered her shattered wits…poor woman." Remus said.

"What happened?" Tonks asked in a horrified whisper.

"It was BAD." Remus chuckled. "Very bad."

"The mortification was BAD enough!" Sirius snarled. "Do you want to know how long it took me to live that down?"

"How many hearts you broke that day?" Remus snorted. "Half of the girls in the pub left Hogsmeade that day in tears. And the RUMORS that spread, no…exploded around the school for weeks-"

"During which I had detention every night for the weeks that followed."

"Serves you right for mixing around with love potions like that." Remus smiled. "I believe we could all take a leaf out of your book concerning them."

"It was supposed to get James and Lily to stop biting each other's heads off."

"They managed to make up at the end of the day without your help."

"Yeah, because they were both stuck waiting outside of the hospital wing, waiting for me to return in one piece and decided that a good, long snog would amend everything."

"So everything worked out after all." Remus said cheerfully as Sirius gave him a look that if eyes were daggers, Remus would be stone cold and under six feet of earth.

"That is pretty bad." Tonks said. "But hilariously funny." She looked over at Remus with a grin. "Well, Professor? What's yours?"

_My most embarrassing moment was when I thought you fancied me and I almost kissed you on the stairs._ Remus wanted to say, but truthfully he had thought of another incident that had taken place and didn't involve the pink-haired witch sitting nearby.

"My most embarrassing moment," Remus said slowly. "Took place a few years ago. Sirius- you were still in prison."

"Oh, this is going to be good." Sirius chuckled, rubbing his hands together excitedly. "He's already blushing."

He glared at Sirius for a moment who seemed to have quickly recovered from the retelling of the McGonagall tale before taking a deep breath and continuing on. "It was after a transformation. I had gone to some out in the middle of nowhere, far away from human contact. When I woke the next day though, I knew that there was a nearby muggle village up the coast and so I made my way there." He hesitated. "The thing is," he said, turning to Tonks, "After I transform, I'm…well…"

"Naked." Sirius snickered.

He sighed. "Yes."

Tonks's eyes widened as she realized where the story was going. "Oh." She said weakly.

"Oh indeed." Remus agreed. "And after transformations, I'm not up to my usual standards."

"He means he feels like shit and he can't think properly." Sirius interrupted.

"Thank you." Remus said wryly. "But more or less, correct. I'm usually very disoriented, very tired, very dazed. In most cases if I were to apparate I would probably splich myself."

She winced.

"But the point is," Remus said. "I wasn't thinking very clearly as I approached the muggle village and I was halfway there when I realized that I needed clothes."

Sirius buried his snort of laughter into his tankard.

"I saw a nearby cottage, far from the village. It looked to me as if nobody lived there anymore. It was in some serious need of repair. I thought it was a summer home, perhaps. So I…I broke in."

"How terrible." Sirius said sarcastically.

"I felt like a criminal!" Remus exclaimed.

"Join the club." Sirius yawned.

Remus shook his head, gathering his thoughts. "Ah, where was I? Oh, right- so I managed to break in and saw that I was in a small kitchen. And on the stove…was…" he shut his eyes and braced himself to say it.

"Chocolate."

Sirius roared with laughter and Tonks giggled.

He smiled and continued on. "As I said earlier, I wasn't thinking too clearly. If I had, I most likely would have realized that someone must have cooked it earlier and therefore people were about. But…it was just sitting there, and I was…hungry and not feeling so good. So I ate it…"

"And?" Tonks prompted.

"And…the owners of the cottage came back." Remus said, burying his head in his hands. "To find me standing in their kitchen, going starkers and eating all of their chocolate."

Sirius nearly fell of his chair, crippled with laughter.

He decided the faster he finished his embarrassing tale, the better. "And so they understandably panicked and called the muggle police, who came to pick me up for breaking into a house and for…well the point is, I was so out of it, they thought I was drunk and they kept me in the cells for the rest of the day and evening. I think in the end, they managed to pick up some clothes for me." He grabbed ahold of his tankard and gulped back a large portion of its contents as if it might help him erase the memory.

Tonks doubled over, laughing hysterically with Sirius and even Remus couldn't help from smiling.

"That's…brilliant." Tonks chocked. "I'm impressed."

"Oh! I have a good question! A really good next question!" Sirius exclaimed. His eyes were lit up with a particularly wicked gleam. "Moony's naked story kindof reminded me of this. My question is…"

When Remus tried to leave the room several seconds later, Sirius wouldn't let him.

* * *

Truth, Remus decided, was not a terrible game, but instead a very cruel form of torture. They had been there a few hours and the questions thanks to Sirius were getting steadily worse and worse. Perhaps it was due to how much they had drank already, but they were wandering a lot as they played it- usually going off onto separate conversations or stories. Sirius was now, for no apparent reason that Remus could deduct- giving Remus and Tonks their anagrammed names. 

"You would be…Urine lumps."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's your new name." Sirius said with a drunken laugh.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Remus said.

"Sure it does."

"Give me one!" Tonks demanded.

Sirius scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Horny…"

"Oh my god." Tonks laughed.

"Hmmm." Sirius said, thinking hard. "Ad…pats…"

Remus shook his head, smiling.

"Mad to horny spank." Sirius said to Tonks.

Tonks burst out laughing, and turned to him with a smile on her face. "Can you think of one for Sirius, Professor?"

"My name's too hard." Sirius said confidently. "You can't anything out of it- I've already tried it- too many consonants."

But Remus had thought of something, his lips twitching. "Easier than you'd think."

"Huh?"

"I lick ass rub."

Tonks doubled over- snorting with laughter.

"Damn you Moony. Alright, fine- back to 'Truth'. Would you rather make out with Snivellus or bang Mrs. Figg?"

"Sirius! That's disgusting!" Tonks cried.

"Well?"

"That's not really a 'Truth' question." Remus pointed out. "It's an opinion question and 'Truth' deals more with knowledge about a person through a direct question, usually told through a story."

"Thanks for the definition." Sirius said sarcastically.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Alright, I have a good question."

"You haven't answered mine yet!" Sirius whined.

"Then you answer it first Sirius." Remus said with a nod.

Sirius opened his mouth and then paused, drunken thinking obviously took a bit of work. His eyes widened after a moment, "Ewwwww…that's disgusting."

"My point exactly." Tonks said. "It's my turn now…First kiss."

They both looked at each other, looking rather nonplussed at why she would even be asking such a question.

"First kiss?" Sirius repeated whilst raising an eyebrow. "I'm assuming that you mean outside the family-"

Tonks nodded and Remus let out a groan, and set down his tankard but couldn't keep the exasperated smile from coming to his face.

"Alright then-" Sirius said cheerfully. "Let me think…ah- I was twelve."

"Twelve?!?!" Tonks exclaimed. "Your first real mouth to mouth, wet tongue kiss was at twelve?"

"Yes." Sirius smiled lazily. "The girl I kissed thought I was older- apparently I acted very mature for my age-"

Tonks let out an incredulous snort at that.

"At any rate, she was a Slytherin- somehow under the assumption that I was thirteen or fourteen like herself…we were passing each other in one of the empty corridors for some reason and next thing I knew she was snogging me."

Tonks giggled.

"I was pretty surprised at first." Sirius said. "I mean- it was more than a little unexpected. I didn't even know her name at the time."

"I bet five galleons that you still don't remember it." Remus smiled wryly.

"You haven't even got five galleons to bet with Moony." Sirius retorted. "But yes, that was my first ever snog." He took a large swig from his bottle.

Tonks turned to Remus who felt strangely calm and relaxed. "You?" she asked him.

"I can't wait to hear this one." Sirius said eagerly. "For one- I'm going to know if your lying or not."

"How would you know that?"

"Because I still remember your reaction afterwards."

"You all didn't know that I had been kissing."

"Au contraire my friend, we had never seen you looking so elated before. You were practically bouncing off the ceiling. We all knew but we pretended that we didn't because you would have been all touchy about it, but pardon me for saying so, it was INCREDIBLY obvious."

"Not necessarily. And I'm quite sure that you don't remember-"  
"Maggie Keadle, our fifth year- in the library."

Remus looked taken aback. "Merlin's beard. You do…Well now I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or not by the fact that after twelve years in Azakaban, you still remember the first girl I kissed but not the one that you snogged."

"I'm telling you Moony, it was one hell of a day. Nobody forgot it-I think the whole school knew."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Now you're exaggerating."

"Alright, I am, but the point is we all knew, mostly because it was such a rarity."

"So what happened?" Tonks pressed, looking eager to hear the whole story.

"Well that's it really." Remus said. "There was a girl in our year called: Maggie Keadle and close to exams we were in the library together."

"We were in our 5th year." Sirius said. "So Remus was going crazy studying for OWLS."

"True." Remus agreed. "I was spending every waking hour in that library and Maggie Keadle who had been there a lot recently was always around when I was. I thought she was just studying for OWLS as well but now that I come to think of it…" he frowned.

"Ah! Remus finally comes to the realization that Maggie Keadle had no intention of ever studying for OWLS."

"No, I did come to that conclusion shortly after all that, its just that I haven't thought about that whole episode in so long-"

Sirius took a long swig of his brandy, shaking his head in disgust.

Remus cleared his throat. "Well, at any rate- we were in the library together and while I was searching for another book amongst the shelves she came by and asked if I could help her reach one of the top books. So I did and…"

"And before you knew it, you were both making out against the shelves." Sirius finished for him.  
"More or less, correct." Remus said. "I was a little stunned but I remember at the time, I thought she was a very nice girl."

"Very blue eyes." Sirius said, staring drunkenly at his tankard in front of him.

"What? Oh…yes, she did." Remus said looking surprised.

"I always thought they looked like cornflowers…those pretty little blue flowers…you know…" Sirius said quietly.

Remus and Tonks exchanged a look over their friend's head which was now resting on the tabletop.

"I didn't know you liked her that much." Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. It's not just her- I remember little things about every girl I know. I know I had that past reputation for being a skirt-chaser and a rake- but every single girl I've met has something unique about them that I remember them for…every one…"

"What's my 'unique something'?" Tonks asked curiously. "It can't be my appearance because I can change it-"

Sirius looked up at her- his grey eyes, though slightly dazed from the alcohol were twinkling. "It's not your appearance. Not all things I remember about girls concern their appearance."

"Then what is mine?"

He smiled. "Well I certainly don't tell them to their face, it's a secret."

"I want to know!"

"Maybe someday." He promised. He sat up a bit straighter. "So what about you then- what's your first kiss Tonks?"

Tonks sighed. "To be honest- my first kiss was when I was six years old."

"Come again? How can you accuse me of being so young when your promiscuous behavior started at such an early age?"

"I'll explain." Tonks laughed. "My neighborhood had a fake marriage and I was the bride- I got married to my friend's brother while William from #6 preformed the marriage as the priest. I kissed my husband long and hard before he tore away from me and started crying. So I chased him around the yard beating him with my bouquet because I thought it was funny."

"I could see you doing that, whatever happened to your poor pussy whipped husband?"

She shrugged. "Sadly, it didn't last."

Remus smiled. "Pity." He remarked dryly.

She turned to him. "You think so?"

He shook his head. "No. Not really."

Her dark eyes were twinkling as she looked at him.

Sirius suddenly raised his glass on high, "Let's have a toast to…to- fire pokers!" he exclaimed as his eyes fell upon the one lying beside the fireplace.

"TO FIRE POKERS!" Tonks cried, raising her glass on high.

"Fire pokers." Remus toasted, as he rolled his eyes.

* * *

It was later still that Sirius had decided to contribute his loud impersonation of Moody walking in on him and Marlene McKinnon, Christmas Eve at the headquarters from the last Order of the Phoenix. And yet after the fifth time of telling it that night, it still was as funny as ever, though perhaps the alcohol had something to do with that. 

"What is this?!?!" Sirius roared, teetering unsteadily on the table. "A liar of infatuous ardors? Shameless hussy!"

Tonks doubled over laughing and even Remus couldn't help but wipe tears of mirth from his eyes.

"And then-" Sirius continued. "If you'll believe it- he- he-"

Sirius fell off the table and hit the floor with a loud 'bang'.

"I think Mad-Eye needs a girlfriend." Tonks announced.

"That would be a scary thought." Sirius chuckled as he lifted himself off the floor.

She grinned. "I know, wouldn't it? Right in the middle of a highly passionate moment, 'Constant vigilance! Constant vigilance!'"

Remus grimaced at the disturbing mental image. "Thank you Tonks, I will never be able to look at him the same way again."

"No problem."

After several more exuberant toasts to things such as Christmas pudding, The Weird Sisters, (which was closely followed by The Screaming Skulls, at Sirius's insistence) and 'funny-shaped Christmas bows', Tonks was now contributed her version of a certain song-

Remus stared up at the pink haired witch who was swaying as she stood on the sofa as she sang drunkenly. If you could call it singing. The words were terribly slurred and altogether it sounded a lot like a dying augury.

"Aaawhooooo!!!" Tonks was singing loudly. "Werewolves of London! Aaawhoo!!!!"

"Shhh! Try to be a little more quiet Tonks or you'll wake the kids." Lupin hissed.

Sirius chocked on his brandy at that one and began coughing heavily.

"What's so funny?"

"Their just going to hear Tonks howling, and wonder why-"

"Shut up you dirty minded criminal."

"No, they won't." Tonks said suddenly.

"Why's that?"

"Because I put a silencing spell on the room before I came in. I don't trust any of us."

"That was quite sensible." Remus said. "Alright then, I suppose you can-"

"Aaawhooooo!!!"

Sirius actually shoved his fingers in his ears to block the noise.

"Werewolves of London! AAAAAWHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"What an accurate representation." Remus said, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Really?" Tonks asked.

"Unbelievably so."

"You howl with me then."

"No thank you."

"Why?"

"Perhaps some other time."

She flopped down on the couch. "Why do werewolves howl?" she asked curiously.

"I'm not sure."

"They always howl up at the moon."

"As opposed to the ground?" Sirius asked dully.

"Shut up." She said. "It's true though, why do they howl up at the moon?"

"I imagine that its because…" he paused and thought about this for a moment. "I think its because they want to reach the moon, and they always try to aim for it- but they can never reach it no matter how hard they try, so they howl their sadness and disappointment. The moon is bright, high above in the dark sky, outshining all the other stars and its the only real source of light during the nighttime hours. And everything that crawls down below on earth can never reach it as much as they want to. Some people are like that in a way, trying to reach for something that is unattainable, so in the end all they can do is stare up at it and wonder."

"And have you ever reached for the moon before?" Tonks asked.

"I've tried to reach for something, that I know I can't have." Remus said quietly, his eyes never leaving her face.

"I think wolves howl at the moon because their horny little bastards." Sirius said loudly.

"Well, that's another possibility I suppose." Remus said.

Sirius's eyes widened significantly, and he almost dropped his tankard in shock. "It's not possible." He said dramatically, staring at Remus. "I just heard the **sly** Remus Lupin voice."

"Shut up, Padfoot." Remus smiled.

"I thought I would die before ever hearing that voice again. You have a trick up your sleeve, don't you? It would make me even happier if it involved cousin Tonks."

"Perhaps it does."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Well I always thought that you leaping onto her and giving her a good shag on the spot would be a nice place to start."

"SIRIUS!"

"Well, I won't keep you two waiting. Look-I'm conveniently leaving now to go and see a man about a dog. Enjoy yourselves."

Sirius shut the door behind him as quietly as he could and there was a long silence where Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair.

"Remus? Do you like me?" Tonks asked suddenly.

Remus's eyes snapped open and he looked over at Tonks who was on the edge of her seat, watching him.

"Yes…of course I do." He said slowly.

Tonks wiggled about nervously on the sofa and hugged a pillow to her chest. "I meant, more than liking…more than friends."

He should have thought this out more carefully, he knew it was only a matter of time before this conversation would be brought up- but he had not planned anything as to what he should say. He turned his head away and said nothing- deep in thought of how to reply.

"I mean….that day on the stairs, that was more than friends- don't you think?"

Remus slowly nodded.

"So what was that all about?"

For a moment Remus struggled and fought the urge to run over to her- pick her up in his arms and kiss her long and hard to show her exactly what he meant. He managed to resist it and instead he stared at the opposing wall and quietly asked. "You're not upset about it, are you?"

"No, of course not." She said quickly and then blushed.

She was simply adorable, with that blush matching her pink hair. Remus was silent and then realized that Tonks was still waiting for an answer from him. "I don't know what I was thinking that day." He lied. "I shouldn't have done it though- I'm sorry."

"Why shouldn't you have?" Tonks asked. "There wasn't anything wrong with it. It was just a kiss."

"I didn't mean to do it." Remus said quietly.

Tonks sat back, an angry expression on her heart-shaped face. "So you're saying that you wouldn't want to kiss me?"

"No!" said Remus hurriedly. "That's not what I meant."

"It's because you think I'm ugly, isn't it?"

Remus's mouth dropped in horror. "Where on earth did you come up with that? Of course not!"

"It is." Tonks said mournfully, looking as though she were about to cry. "You don't like my pink hair-"

"Tonks, this is ridiculous-"

"You think its childish, don't you?"

"I don't. I think it makes you look very pretty." Remus said honestly. "It suits you wonderfully."

"Well then you think I'm stupid and clumsy!" Tonks cried, burying her bubble-gum pink head into the pillow.

Remus gaped at her, wondering how on earth he had caused such a disaster. "Tonks-" he said firmly. "I don't think you're stupid and clumsy. I think your one of the nicest, bravest, most clever persons I've ever met and as for your clumsiness-" he paused and decided to continue telling the honest truth. "It doesn't bother me at all. There are worse things to be rather than ungraceful and I still like you…very much- clumsiness included."

Tonks looked as though she were still crying into the pillow- Remus bit his lip feeling torn between getting up and comforting her and staying where she was so he wouldn't upset her even more.

"Then why-" she sniffed, her head still buried in the pillows- "Did you kiss me-if you didn't mean-to do it?"

"I…" Remus began and stopped. He swallowed nervously and forced himself to continue. "I…I wasn't sure if you would kiss me back."

Tonks's head snapped up and Remus saw her eyes were quite dry and she was wearing an enormous smile.

"Haha. Got you." She said.

Remus stared at her, feeling that the situation had just gone if even more possible more nightmarishly worse. "What?"

Tonks kicked her purple socked feet out onto the table and looked at him smugly. "I just wanted to know for certain you kissed me with the real intent of doing so. I wanted to make sure you really liked me."

"You mean-" Remus said, his throat very dry. "You weren't really upset at what I had said earlier?"

"No, of course not. I just wanted you to confess that you honestly liked me more than a friend."

"How did you know that I liked you more than friendship?"

"I didn't." Tonks laughed. "I just found out."

Remus could only stare numbly at her. Oddly he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his chest.

"Oh come'on Remus, you aren't mad at me are you?"

"Well I can't say that I'm too pleased that you just tricked me."

"It wasn't really tricking you- I was just…tricking you." She said slowly, her words slightly slurred.

"I think you're a little drunk Nymphadora."

She giggled. "Maybe I am…hey! Don't call me that."

"Nymphadora…"

She threw a pillow at him and it missed him by a good ten feet.

"It's a lovely name." he chuckled.

"Your just rubbing it cuz I found out you liked me." Tonks grumbled.

"Well if you want to put it that way then, I have every right to do so."

"Don't call me-well…I dunno….maybe you can."

"Pardon?"

"Maybe you can call me Nymphadora, but no one else."

"Why?" he asked in confusion.

She shrugged. "I like the way you say it."

"The way I say it?"

"Yeah, you say it differently from everyone else."

"I do?"

She nodded. "Mm-hm. It sounds different."

"Alright then, Nymphadora, I will call you that for the rest of your life."

She cringed. "Maybe not."

"You just said I liked it when I said it."

"No I didn't."

He smiled. "Yes…you did."

She frowned. "When?"

"Just now."

She seemed to think about this for a minute before her eyes widened. "Bollocks…I did."

He watched her curiously as she seemed to be deep in thought.

_She likes the way I say 'Nymphadora'…is that true? Is it just some drunken babble or is it something more? Is it…is she…_

He couldn't think it…it couldn't possibly take that for anything other than…

_Does she truly fancy me then? Sirius has always said so; you've always noticed that she acted like that around you…_

"Maybe…" Tonks said slowly. "You shouldn't call me anything than Nympha-I mean, Tonks-"

"Why?" he asked his heart sinking.

"Cuz I can't think straight. I don't want to embarrass myself more than I already have."

"You haven't, 'Nympha-I mean, Tonks'."

"Yeah…what?"

" 'Nympha-I mean, Tonks'…this is what you wanted me to call you, remember?"

"No! Just Tonks for now."

"You told me your name is 'Nympha-I mean, Tonks."

"You know what I meant!"

He grinned at the look of playful indignation on her face. "Nympha-I mean, Tonks' sounds so beautiful."

"ARGH! Stop messing with my head!"

"Nympha-I mean, Tonks…Nympha-I mean, Tonks…" he chanted.

"If you don't shut up right now I'm going to get up and hit you myself." She threatened.

"You wouldn't want to do that…"

She stared at him.

"Nympha…"

She gave him a warning eye.

He stared back, fighting the smile from his face.

She watched him for a few moments and finally opened her mouth to speak but-

"-I mean, Tonks." he finished.

Tonks flew to her feet but had barely taken two wobbly steps forward before tripping over the edge of the carpet and falling flat on her face.

Remus immediately jumped up and went over to her. "Are you alright?"

But she was laughing. "Being clumsy and drunk is no easy feat!" she tried to sit up and nearly fell over again.

Remus half-laughing took hold of her hands are with a bit of effort helped picked up of the floor. She wobbled violently, Remus put his arms out again to steady her and nearly stumbled when without warning she fell right into his arms. Their bodies met, Tonks's hands flattened out against his chest to stop her fall.

Tonks's smile and his own quickly faded as they stood there staring at eachother, unmoving.

They were close.

Very close.

Too close…

He saw her lips gently form his name through no sound came from them.

Dear god. He couldn't fight it. With lowered defenses from the alcohol and Tonks in his arms all of his rational thoughts he had ever possessed were completely shattered.

Before he could even stop himself he put an arm around Tonks's waist and pulled her closer.

"So you didn't mind it the last time I kissed you?" Remus asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. His heart was pounding furiously against his ribs, not in fear but from something else instead.

"No. Why're you asking?" she said softly.

"Because if it really didn't bother you- I'd like to do it again…"

His hand around her waist was tingling as if it were burning pleasantly from a warm fire. He leaned forward further still; he was already so close- inches away from her pale, beautiful face. The voice of reason that was screaming for him to stop had somehow been silenced by a larger portion of his brain that had a very different thought on its mind.

They were inches now from each other.

He was going to regret this in the end.

He closed the last gap of space between them, placing his lips over hers. She didn't pull away or hesitate but kissed him back as if she had been waiting for it forever. It was a slow kiss and yet undoubtfully passionate in its own right. Everything just seemed so natural. Remus could not recall kissing a woman like this ever before. It had been so long since he touched or held a woman like this-but this was all so different. And what felt like a jolt of lightening that shot through his entire body when their lips met was enough for him to forget everything else that ever mattered.

The kiss deepened and all Remus could think of was that he was so stupid to have fought this off for so long. This was so overwhelmingly wonderful, it was beautiful, it was…perfect.

He pulled away for a moment; slightly breathless to gaze into her dark eyes before they both went forward this time, kissing each other with much more intensity and less restraint. Tonks's arms were around him now, her fingers making their way along the back of his neck and through his hair. His already tingling skin erupted into goose bumps. The blood in his veins seemed to have turned to fire. The pink-haired witch he had in his arms was suddenly more irresistible than ever; he ran a hand gently across the side of her face, her skin was making his own tingle and burn with even the lightest touch.

He pulled away again, trying to rearrange his thoughts. He had to stop- get control over himself, not stand here snogging Nymphadora Tonks on Christmas Eve with-

A sly smile was playing in the corners of her mouth. Without warning, Tonks threw her weight unexpectedly on him, causing him to stumble backwards and fall heavily onto the floor with her on top of him.

"Tonks-" he said, his voice was almost amusingly husky.

"Shut up." She murmured before covering his mouth with hers, sending the last thoughts of protest out of his head. The weight of the young witch on top of him, and her warm, burning lips now making their way to underneath his jawline was causing his breathing to become increasingly restricted. He could smell that gentle vanilla perfume on her that suddenly seemed so intoxicating and thought that for once in his life; he preferred it over all the chocolate in the world.

He reached out and stroked the sides of her bare arms and noticed that this sent a small shiver through the pinkhaired witch. As he kissed her again he lightly began caressing the outline of her jaw with his thumb before sliding his hand down the side of her throat and resting it on the hollow at the base of her neck. Her skin was so soft and fascinating to touch he couldn't help tracing the line of her collarbone with his pale fingers. He suddenly noticed with some amusement that Tonks had closed her eyes and was looking rather helpless.

Carefully, he rolled over with her underneath of him and watched her for a moment to see if she had any more protest.

Apparently all the self defense classes were useless.

He found himself very appreciative of the fact that Tonks still found it habit to wear her band t-shirts even in the middle of winter. He slipped a hand underneath her shirt and slowly slid it up her back, and over her warm, smooth skin-her breath hitched suddenly and he looked at her nervously but Tonks grabbed the front of his robes and roughly pulled him towards her, one hand resting on his chest, the other still tightly holding onto the front of his robes as they started kissing again.

He was all but drowning in the moment; nothing else would bring him down back to reality, nothing at all, nothing except maybe-

"ARGHHH! Get your werewolf paws off my cousin when I'm in the room!" Sirius bellowed, averting his eyes.

Remus and Tonks sat up quickly, the spell broken. Remus supposed he ought to feel terribly embarrassed but all he felt was distinctly annoyed that Sirius had come back when he did.

"Dear god," Sirius groaned, staggering about in the doorframe whilst clutching his head. "I'm gone for two seconds and I come back to find you two almost shagging on the carpet!"

Tonks stood up and was actually glaring at her cousin. "Why don't you go away then?"

"Well I can't leave now. Someone has to act as the chaperone around you two or the multi-coloured werebabies will be running around soon enough."

"Sirius-"

"Sorry, not sleeping out in the hallway so you two can have your cozy, Christmas shag session." He announced as he went over to the large armchair and fell into it. "Merlin's beard that was fast- and not even a sprig of mistletoe to provoke it."

As Sirius sat there, sleepily cursing them out from under his breath, Remus grabbed his tankard and began bolting down what was left of the contents. Tonks looked at him for a moment before grabbing her own drink and finishing it off as well. He looked worriedly at her, but she smiled back warmly. For some reason, (perhaps because part of his mind was still back on the floor replaying what had just happened) he was oddly calm and detached about it and had no desire to take back anything that had already occurred. She liked him…she really did truly fancy him, afterall. He smiled back as he took another swig. His thoughts would be clearer in the morning and he could figure out what to do then, for now- another drink would suffice…

* * *

The ashes in the fireplace were still smoldering when Remus painfully opened his eyes. He was lying on the sofa, hanging precariously near the edge. His eyes flickered over to his dark haired friend who was sitting upright and appeared to have just woken up himself. 

"Oh god." Sirius moaned. "My head…"

Remus didn't feel much better. He winced as he lifted his head up a bit. It felt like is head felt like it had been hit multiple times with a large sledgehammer. He thought hard trying to remember the events of the previous night…Truth…joking…singing…the kiss.

The Kiss.

He sat bolt upright, ignoring the raging pain that shot through his skull when he did so.

He had kissed Nymphadora Tonks. Again. Not just a questionable kiss like the one on the stairs that day. A full out passionate snog. More than a snog even- they…._OH DEAR GOD…_. He looked nervously over at Sirius who was massaging the sides of his head.

"I don't remember anything." Sirius croaked. "What happened?"

"We got drunk." Remus said slowly. Perhaps Sirius didn't remember what had happened between him and Tonks.

"We played Truth…" Sirius said. "I remember that."

"Yes."

"And joked around abit…but that's it. The rest of the night is all a blur." He frowned, pushing back some of his long black hair out of his face.

Remus let out a small sigh of relief.

Sirius stood up with a loud groan and stumbled for a moment before retrieving his balance. "Merlin's beard. I need to sober up. My godson is under the same roof for christsakes."

Grumbling and muttering under his breath, he made his way slowly through the bottle littered and very messy floor. He was halfway to the door when suddenly he froze and spun around, his grey eyes wide.

"YOU KISSED MY COUSIN!" Sirius bellowed.

Remus winced from the loud noise on his pounding skull and the accusation itself.

Sirius strode over and pulled Remus to his feet by the front of his robes. "YOU DID! I REMEMBER!"

"Yes." Remus admitted. "I did."

"AH-HA!" he said joyfully. "How was it?"

Remus stared. "What?"

"Did you like it?"

"I-I-"

"Yes or no?"

"Yes." Remus said bleakly. "Very much."

"No need to sound too excited Moony." His friend snorted. "Did you plan it beforehand or did it just happen?"

Remus frowned. "It just sortof happened."

"Spontaneous." Sirius nodded. "Very nice."

Remus sat down again and sighed heavily. "My head feels like its been hit with a sledgehammer."

But Sirius was looking thoughtful and didn't appear to have listened to him. "You two were really getting it on, weren't you? Probably would have ended up having sex right there on the rug if I hadn't come in when I did. You're right. I pop in at inopportune times. Sorry. I'll work on that. I didn't mean to break up your passionate make-out session, but I was really drunk and didn't really expect to find my cousin and mate swapping spit and with his hand up her shirt."

Remus felt his face turn an alarming shade of red.

Sirius was grinning at him. "You aren't denying it."

"How can I? You bloody well saw everything."

"Can we say that you have gotten to play Keeper?"

"I've kissed girls before!"

"But how many years ago?"

"That's none of your business."

Sirius snorted. "Probably thirteen years?"

"Shut up."

"If I had been gone longer- how far do you think you would have gotten?"

"Can we please drop this conversation?"

"How far?"

"Chaser?"

"I have no-"

"My guess, from the way you were both at it, the desperation of young Tonks, you finally cracked after weeks of holding back and including the helpful aid of the alcohol you both could have easily gotten to seeker."

Remus ignored him. "Where is Tonks?"

Sirius shrugged. "Why? Do you want to continue last nights session?"

"No, I have to figure out what I'm going to say to her when she gets back from wherever she is now. I don't even know what to say."

"Well think quickly."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I think I can hear her coming up the stairs now." Sirius said calmly.

"WHAT?!?!" he croaked.

"Yup."

Remus in his near panic considered throwing himself out the window till he could come up with a proper greeting but it was too late, the door opened and Nymphadora Tonks appeared in the doorway carrying a small tray piled with blackened toast and some tea.

"Wotcher." Tonks she said with a nervous smile.

Remus was torn between dying of shame and going up to her and kissing her again. "H-h-hullo." He managed.

Sirius sat there on the sofa watching them both, a huge smirk on his pale, waxy face.

Tonks opened her mouth but shut it looking oddly unsure of herself.

Remus struggled to find the right words to say, but all he could think of was how soft her skin was when he had caressed it with his lips a mere few hours ago. His brain was numb and seemed to have stopped working altogether.

The seconds lengthened as they stared at each other in silence.

"Right," Sirius said loudly after letting out a loud, bark like laugh, "This is really quite amusing and all, but you two both have places you have to go today, so I suggest that perhaps for now we ought to just focus on the present and we can discuss last night later."

Remus nodded his approval.

"Presents!" Tonks said enthusiastically.

"How can you be so awake?" Sirius groaned.

She pulled a small bottle from her pocket, "'Anti-hangover potion,' look who was thinking ahead."

Sirius eyes widened as he stared hopefully at it. "Give it to me." He growled.

"Looking for a magic word…"

"Please?" Remus asked.

She handed it to him with a small smile.

"HEY!" Sirius cried. "NO FAIR! YOU GIVE IT TO HIM BECAUSE HE BLOODY SNOGGED YOU-"

"If I had given it to you first, you would have drank it all for yourself." Tonks pointed out.

Remus took a carefully measured gulp and instantly felt the pain in his head start to recede. He handed it to Sirius who drained the rest of the bottle in one go.

"Here, have some toast." Tonks said enthusiastically.

Sirius gave a snort at the sight of it. Remus took one however and used the butter knife to scrape off some of the charcoal.

"Sorry about that." grinned Tonks.

Sirius went over to the corner of the room, opened a small writing desk and took out two awkwardly wrapped presents.

"Here you go." He said, tossing the presents to them.

Tonks eagerly tore at the wrapping paper.

"I had to get help from Remus when it came to buying it." Sirius admitted. "Can't just up and go Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley these days."

"Aw, brilliant!" Tonks exclaimed. She turned over the present in her hands, it was a signed poster of the Weird Sisters that Sirius had given Remus the money for so he could get it for her. She gazed fondly at it for a minute longer before peeking from around it with a smile.

"Now, where's the broom?"

"I got you something better." Sirius grinned. "Check the wrapping."

Tonks searched frantically through it as Remus and Sirius exchanged a grin over her head.

"You git!" Tonks said. "I hate you!" But she was half-laughing.

"Now you can add that to your popular music."

"I HATE the Screaming Skulls! I am not listening to any of their records!"

"That's one of their first ones!" Sirius said. "Look at number four-"

Tonks tossed the record carelessly onto the wrapping as she let out a snort of laughter.

Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out his two neatly wrapped and tied presents for his friends in the middle of their small circle.

"Aren't you going to open your present Moony?" Sirius asked, his eyes twinkling.

"I was planning on opening it up later." admitted Remus. "Past experience has told me to wait and unwrap presents from you all alone, far away from plausible humiliation from the giver and others gathered."

"Oh come'on. You're so sensitive sometimes."

"You got me a book: 'Werewolf sex: Pack orgies, erotic bondage and more' that time."

Tonks chocked on her toast from across the table. "Sirius!" she exclaimed.

"It was funny." He smirked. "Funnier still to see Moony's face."

"I was only fourteen." Remus replied. "And rather traumatized by the whole thing if you wanted to know the truth."

"Sirius, that's just cruel." Tonks said.

"The sad thing is the presents got worse and worse with each passing year." Remus smiled.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You probably still have that book somewhere."

Remus shook his head, exasperated. "I'm still amazed that you managed to pick out something sensible for Harry actually."

"Well you helped with that. My suggestion of-"

"getting him a yearly subscription of 'Wizards Only' porn magazine-" Remus finished for him, taking a sip of his tea. "was not well received."

"Yeah, he has to save the wizarding world all the time- it's a little too time consuming for the simple pleasures of life-poor kid."

"He's your godson-" Remus said. "And it might be a wise course of action to get him something meaningful and thoughtful."

" 'Wizards Only' is thoughtful." Sirius grinned.

Remus sighed as he moved Sirius's shoddily wrapped present (probably wrapped when he was drunk, Remus was guessing) to the side.

"Here open mine!" Tonks said brightly, throwing her own strangely wrapped present into her cousin's lap.

Sirius unwrapped it and his face split into a grin. "Aw- Tonks, this is brilliant!" he said happily. "Look at this!" he said waving it at Remus.

It was an enormous book bearing the title: 'Crossword Puzzles for Wizards Who Have Too Much Time on their Hands'

"This is bloody fantastic! Where did you find this?" Sirius asked flipping it open and skimming the pages.

"I'm opening your present now Remus." Tonks said as she took hers.

"Alright." He smiled, his heart skipping a beat from jittery nerves of anticipation and from Tonks's eyes meeting his.

"Ha! I know this one!" Sirius said to no one in particular- completely immersed with his new gift.

Tonks slowly opened the neatly wrapped box and pulled out the necklace her expression caught between playful indignation and barely contained laughter.

"Ohhhh…I really do hate you."

Remus burst out laughing. "I saw that and I couldn't help thinking of you."

"What is it?" Sirius asked, finally looking up from his book.

With an exasperated smile, Tonks held up the necklace for Sirius to see. On the delicate chain, at the very end was glittering charm in the shape of a small bird.

"Hullo? Who's in here?" came Mrs. Weasley's voice from the doorway.

"Come in Molly." Remus said.

Mrs. Weasley pushed open the door and stood there in her slippers and her morning bathrobe. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect you here Tonks, and Remus- I didn't expect you to come for another few hours at least."

"I ended up spending the night." Remus admitted.

"You're all up rather early," she said. "Were you…" she trailed off as she stared at the chaotic, disorganized state of the room from the night before. "…up very late?" she finished.

"In a manner of speaking." Remus said hastily.

Tonks grinned at him and stood up, "I should probably be heading out soon actually. Can you help me with this Remus?" she asked, holding out the necklace.

"Oh, right. Of course." He said, getting up to go over to her.

Molly glanced at them with an oddly knowing look before turning her attention to Sirius who in turn was staring at her defiantly. He begged inwardly that she wouldn't say something to the dark-haired man that involved cleaning or he had a feeling that Christmas day wouldn't be very merry at all.

"Perhaps when we get back," she said slowly. "We can all sit down and have an early Christmas dinner together."

Sirius nodded stiffly. "That would be nice."

Mrs. Weasley smiled hesitantly. "Happy Christmas, Sirius."

"Happy Christmas, Molly."

She beamed at them all, "Well, I'll be downstairs." She frowned as she caught sight of the blackened toast. "Perhaps I'll fix some breakfast for you all if you would like to come down and have some?"

"Thank you Molly." Remus said as he took the necklace from Tonks. "I'll be down in a minute."

She shut the door quietly as Remus turned his attention to fastening the clip on Tonks's necklace for her.

"There you go."

She turned and before he could do anything she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

He smiled warmly, his cheek tingling pleasantly from where her lips had touched him. "You're welcome Nymphadora."

"It's TONKS!"

"Tonks, we've gone over this so many times-Nymphadora is a much more suitable name for a young vivacious witch such as yourself-"

"I've warned you-"

"Stop the starry-eyed flirtations you two and get out to continue it elsewhere, you're going to make me regurgitate my breakfast." Sirius yawned as he stretched out with his new book of crossword puzzles.

Tonks rolled her eyes and headed out the door a smile on her face, Remus was about to follow her when Sirius suddenly spoke up-

"Oh Remus,"

"Yes?" he asked poking his head back inside.

"I'm impressed with the present you got her. Very flirty. Good job."

Remus smiled and was about to shut the door when Sirius spoke up again, "And don't shag each other in the middle of the hallway as soon as you shut the door. If we could at least maintain the illusion in front of the kids that we are responsible, it would make everything much more helpful."

Remus gave him an exasperated look before shutting the door behind him with a small snap. Tonks was standing there, still looking very tired and disheveled from the long night before but hardly any less beautiful in his eyes. He cleared his throat nervously and dropped his eyes to the ground as he struggled to say what was on his mind.

"Er, perhaps after I get back, we could- er- get together sometime."

Tonks's eyes widened.

"Not…necessarily for Order work or anything, but just the two of us…I mean-"

She waited patiently.

"I mean, you know, for- for…," if he kept opening and closing his mouth like this she was going to think he was a giant fish that had flopped onto land by mistake. "For…dinner, or something."

Her eyes were sparkling. "I'd love to!"

"Really?" he felt as if he could have fainted from relief right there.

"Yes!"

"Oh…right then. Well, I don't know if you've heard already, but I have to leave soon and I'll be gone for a couple of months."

"A couple of months?" she asked sadly.

"Two." He admitted.

She pouted. "Why?"

"Dumbledore wants me to help him with something…" he said slowly. He couldn't bring himself to say it, not when everything was going so well. To do so would bring reality back for him-

Tonks seemed to have understood more than he let on however. "Does this have anything to do with werewolves?" she asked suddenly.

Remus nodded sadly.

She looked at him closely for a minute. "You'll be back by March, right?"

"Most assuredly."

"How about we do something for your birthday then?"

He looked at her in surprise. "How do you know-?"

"March 10th right?"

He nodded numbly, wondering how on earth she knew such a thing.

"I say we plan something. As soon as you get back, we'll set up the particulars."

"That sounds…great."

She grinned. "That's one word I'd use. Oh and here," she said shoving a small package into his hands. "This is your Christmas present."

"Thank you."

And suddenly, she started walking away down the hall.

"I'll miss you." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

She turned. "Doubly."

She was standing there on the landing, looking at him almost expectantly.

"Err- right- well, er-" he stuttered as he grabbed the door handle behind him that he had just come out from. "Bye then."

Before he fell backwards into the room, he saw that she was still smiling at him. "Bye." She said cheerfully.

He shut the door before he could embarrass himself anymore.

"Oh my god." Remus gasped. "OH MY GOD! What did I just DO?!?!"

"Steady on!" Sirius said, looking alarmed at his friends behavior. "What happened?"

"What was I thinking!?!?!" Remus exclaimed. "Oh my god…" he went over the coffee table and grabbed what was left of the brandy from last night and began bolting it down.

Sirius leaped to his feet and grabbing the front of Remus's robes, began shaking him. "Remus! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

"I'm sorry." Remus breathed as he felt some sense get thrown back into him. "I- I- just lost myself for a moment- I-"

"What did you just do?" Sirius asked, his face paler than usual.

"I- I- I JUST ASKED YOUR COUSIN ON A DATE!" Remus cried, loosing self-control again. "I don't know what I did! Why did I do it?!?! What was I thinking? I must have been bloody mental or something, maybe I'm going mad- I couldn't have just-"

Sirius slapped him very hard across the face, but he was grinning when Remus straightened up from the blow.

The slap had hurt very much. Remus rubbed his stinging face, his breath shaky- but his shattered nerves very much intact again.

"Merlin's beard Remus, never do that to me again. I thought someone from the Order had died or something from the way you came crashing in here." Sirius said letting go of his friend and flopping down into the armchair.

Remus frowned and followed him to stand in front of his friend. "I just asked Tonks on a date."

"You told me. Very good, about time already."

"But…she said yes!"

"As opposed to 'no'?" Sirius snickered. "Remus where have you been these past few months?"

"But…" Remus said, however before he could think of a proper argument, Sirius cut him off.

"What about last night, eh?" he said wagging his eyebrows. "It would've been odd if you two were having a pash like that on the rug and then not set up a date. My Marauder senses and logical suspicions suggest that you two are already past the first few dates thanks to last night, had you been officially dating."

Remus turned his face away hoping his face wasn't as red as he thought it was.

Sirius grinned and headed out of the room humming a song that Remus realized with a jolt of surprise was 'White Christmas'. He wondered how on earth Sirius knew such a song. He collapsed onto the sofa, feeling exhausted.

He was still holding the present Tonks had given him. He set it aside for a moment, thinking of everything that had happened in the past few hours. He had kissed a girl that he had wanted to for ages, she liked him just as much as he did her, and most unfortunately he was going to be leaving soon to start some rather un-enjoyable work for the Order, but when he got back…he felt his heart skip a beat, when he got back, he was going to take his first real step with Nymphadora Tonks…


	10. Chef Remus to the Rescue

_Author's note: Who doesn't want a man like Remus Lupin? Omg- so sweet._

_Incredibly retarded name for the chapter but I can't think of anything right now. Haha. _

_Tonks's incident in this chapter is based off a real life situation…that happened to…somebody I know. Not the author of course- sheesh, as if! ;) But sadly there was no Wemus to help me. Tonks is soooo lucky…_

* * *

**Chapter Ten- Chef Remus to the Rescue!**

Tonks woke out of her deep slumber with an unexpected start. As soon as she had, she wished she hadn't. Her head was pounding, her throat was on fire and her nose was dripping like a leaky faucet.

With an angry groan she rolled over again, pulling her warm blanket closer around her.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Her eyes snapped open. Someone was at her front door.

_Bastard. _She thought angrily as she got up and walked to the front door, still awkwardly wrapped up in her enormous blanket.

She reached the door and pulled it open abruptly. "What do you want?" she asked nastily before taking in who it was.

Remus Lupin was standing there on her front doorstep, wearing the nice blue jumper she had given him for Christmas and looking extremely nervous and apprehensive.

And suddenly, it hit her. It was March 10th. Remus's birthday.

"Oh my god!" she cried. "What time is it?"

"Er- a little after seven." Remus said, looking very worried.

Tonks ran a hand desperately through her hair, her morphing abilities always as good as non-existent when she was sick. She knew that standing there in the front doorstep, with her disheveled mousy brown hair, her red nose and wrapped up in her blanket like a giant caterpillar she was hardly looking her best. But it was all unimportant at the moment.

"Oh no." she groaned. "I'm so sorry Remus, I fell asleep earlier and I just- well, here- come inside for a moment- I'll get ready in ten minutes- no! Less than that! Just hold on-"

"We could always postpone it." Remus said, looking at her closely. "You look miserable."

"Its just a little cold." She lied.

Remus stepped inside and his nose wrinkled.

"What's that smell?" he asked curiously.

Tonks sniffed the air warily, and due to her blocked nose, smelt nothing. "What smell?" she asked hoping against hope it wasn't her. She hadn't put on any deodorant that morning.

"That smell…" Remus said, peering around her blanket bulk as he tried to deduct the smell. "It smells like something's burning."

Tonks stared at him for a moment before the slap of realization and the wave of horror hit her.

"OH SHIT!" she cried, turning on the spot and running towards the kitchen. She smashed into the coffee table and fell over; she abandoned her blanket bulk and ran down the hall and into her kitchen where her eyes met a smoky inferno.

"My soup!" she wailed. The pot of soup she had put on hours ago was now a ball of fire. In a panic she grabbed a dishtowel and began beating at the fire in a lousy attempt to put it out.

All she succeeded in doing was having her dishtowel catch on fire.

As she waved the fiery towel about frantically she realized that the pot of soup which was billowing out copious amounts of black smoke was still bubbling.

Completely panicking now, she grabbed 'Macbeth's Spots-Be-Gone' kitchen detergent and poured it onto the fire.

With a loud 'whump' the fire turned a vivid purple and grew about five times its original size.

Tonks ran to the shelves and began opening cupboards. A row of dishes fell onto the floor and shattered. A large sack of Bertie Botts every flavor beans split and poured down on her in a waterfall of colour. The bag of flour exploded in a white cloud above her. She began throwing some fallen dry pasta at the fire, hoping the fire would turn its attention to cooking the pasta rather than devouring her kitchen.

The attempt failed, the fire was not so easily distracted. It began spitting the red-hot pasta back at her. As she ducked one fiery piece she slipped on some spilled milk and fell flat on the floor.

Above her the black, foaming soup began dripping down the sides of the counter. Tonks leaped up and grabbed the handle of one of the drawers. She pulled out the spoons and began catching the dripping toxic soup with them to stop it from dripping on her floor.

Suddenly, right when Tonks was starting to fear she would have to use the tea cups- the blazing fire and foamy soup disappeared along with the thick black cloud that was filling the kitchen.

Tonks turned to see her savior, Remus standing in the doorway, wand out looking at her with a smile that was obviously threatening to crack into hysterical laughter.

"What on earth were you doing?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

Tonks straightened up, her pink pajamas wet from the milk and spotted black from the spitting soup. She bushed her brown hair (laced with flour) out of her sweaty face. "My soup burnt." She said huffily.

Remus bit his lip for a few seconds- struggling to keep control. Then he burst out laughing.

Tonks refrained from laughing, trying to look indignant as she stood there in the messy kitchen, flour all over the floor and walls, silverware spilled all over the countertop, Bertie Botts beans and pasta pieces in all four corners, the spilled milk and detergent had somehow pooled together on the floor and some neon orange bubbles were bouncing across the floor now from that puddle.

"You- were-trying to stop- it with- spoons!" Remus managed to choke out as he held onto the counter for support.

She screwed up her face trying hard to hide her smile and then she too began laughing with him.

They stood there laughing for quite some time before their sides ached and they were gasping for breath.

Tonks sneezed (painfully) and it seemed to bring Remus back to his usual serious self again. He walked over to her, carefully through the no-mans land of broken dishes, beans, spoons and other kitchen shrapnel. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Tonks barely had time to react before he kissed her gently on the forehead. "Get back to bed." He said kindly, "I'll clean up."

Tonks shook her head sending a small shower of flour around her shoulders. How she wished she could stand like this forever. She sneezed again before saying, "No, its my mess. I'll clean it up." It was hard to breath now and it wasn't from her sickness.

Remus smiled, and she wondered if he could feel her heart give a thrilled flutter. "You? The auror who burned soup and then tried to stop the fire by throwing pasta at it?"

"Don't rub it in." Tonks said, leaning forward to rest her head on the front of his warm jumper.

Remus ran his hand through her hair and nearly got it caught in a sticky clump of spilled jelly. "You go ahead and sleep. Sometimes a helping hand goes a long way."

"But your birthday!" Tonks exclaimed. "We were going to go out for a drink."

"Don't think twice on it. We'll celebrate it when you're feeling better again. There's no point in going out like this when you're so sick."

Tonks sighed, too weary to protest at this point.

"Come'on Remus insisted. "I'll take care of it."

Seeing as she wasn't complaining, he lifted her chin so that he could look closely into her pale, heart-shaped face.

"You win." Tonks said with a smile.

"Good." Remus said and much to her disappointment, he let go of her and began to gently lead her away.

Suddenly a sharp pain pierced her foot and she let out a small scream- grabbing onto Remus's shoulder for support.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, looking immediately tense and worried.

She lifted up her foot and turned it to see a small white piece of a broken plate deeply embedded in the bottom of her foot.

"Where are you slippers?" Remus asked, sounding like a concerned mother.

"Who are you? Molly Weasley?" Tonks winced, as she hobbled about unsteadily. "I left them in my room I think."

"Here lean on me till we get out- no, don't." Remus said. "With any luck you'll end up with another shard in your other foot if you trying walking out of here."

"Then what do you propose we do, Healer Lupin?" Tonks laughed.

Remus examined the distance to safety with his eyes and then turned back to face Tonks. "Put your arms around my neck, I'll carry you."

Tonks turned slightly pink but without any hesitation threw her arms around Remus before he was properly ready.

"Oops! Sorry!" she squealed.

"Don't worry about it," Remus said leaning forward suddenly and scooped her up.

Tonks giggled and put her arms (with more caution) around his neck as he began to carry her from the kitchen. "You are a good and noble man, Sir Remus."

Remus laughed and he looked as though he were several years younger. "You really should remember your slippers in the future."

Tonks threw back her head and let out an exasperated sigh at the same time Remus was passing through the doorframe.

Her head hit the hard wooden doorframe with a terrifically loud 'THUNK' and Tonks saw stars flashing for a moment.

"Tonks!" Remus exclaimed.

"I'm alright." Tonks muttered. "Mild concussion that's all."

Looking only slightly reassured that she was alright, Remus continued to carry her. "Merlin's beard Tonks you're just an accident waiting to happen! First you almost blow up your house, then you step on a broken shard, and then you give yourself a head injury- what next?"

"You're the one carrying me." Tonks pointed out.

"Well one could argue that, yes, but I wasn't expecting you to throw back your head like that when you did."

"Oh come'on Remus, haven't you learned anything by being in the Order?" she teased. ""Constant Vigilance! CONSTANT VIGILIANCE!"

Remus started laughing again and Tonks felt her heart leap. Remus carried her all the way over to her couch in the living room and carefully laid her down on it.

"Is it real bad?" Tonks asked nervously as Remus examined her foot which was now hurting her considerably.

"It's certainly not good." Remus admitted as he inspected it. Tonks hoped he wouldn't notice her pink and orange toenails, or the spots she missed shaving her legs.

If he did, he didn't seem to care. "It's going to have to come out. It might hurt a bit but hold onto-"

"WAIT!" Tonks exclaimed. "You're going to pull it out NOW?!?!?"

Remus looked up at her in confusion. "As opposed to later? The sooner the better." He began rolling up his sleeves in a business like manner.

Tonks couldn't repress a nervous shudder and she grabbed a nearby pillow with sweaty hands and squeezed it tightly to her chest.

Remus was smiling. "Are you going to tell me that the auror who is terrified of little, innocent birds is now also nervous about a tiny piece of glass?"

"That's not true! Birds are really quite- HEY!" Tonks yelled as Remus pulled the bloody shard from out of her foot. "You distracted me on purpose!"

"Yes, I did." Remus said, sounding rather amused.

She watched him as Remus used his wand to mend her foot. "Birds are quite scary you know."

"Oh, simply terrifying."

"They are! Their beady little eyes, their inhuman expressions-"

"Horrific."

"Well they are!" she said indignantly. "For me at least…that was probably the reason I wasn't a Gryffindor. I didn't have the courage."

He looked up at her. "You were a Hufflepuff correct?"

"Yes, I know-" Tonks said, rolling her eyes. "The house for all the prats who couldn't fit in anywhere else."

"That's not true."

"Well, it has the reputation of being so."

"If I remember correctly from some of my books in History of Magic, they said Helga Hufflepuff was particularly famous for her dexterity at food-related Charms."

"Oh, ha. Ha. Ha. Wipe that smirk off your face Professor." Tonks said bleakly. "I guess I got into Hufflepuff then for my ability to make noses that resembles a badger, not my cooking skills."

"Hufflepuffs are hardworking, loyal and determined." Remus pointed out. "All of those qualities you fit exceptionally."

She couldn't help from smiling. "Thanks."

He stood up, "I'm going to get some ice for that head of yours. Do you want any soup? Real soup, I mean that isn't on fire or burning down the house-"

"You don't have to make me soup or anything."

"You're sick."

She couldn't really argue that point. "Well…"

"I'll be right back." He smiled, as he fixed the overturned coffee table and left the room.

As soon as he had left the room, Tonks leaped to her feet and began tidying the place as fast as she could. The dirty laundry was shoved under the sofa or into the corner. The bowl of old popcorn was pushed into a closet that was bulging with so much junk, she couldn't get it to close. The books, papers and magazines were squeezed into a side desk that made an ominous cracking noise when she finally managed to shove everything into it. She could do nothing about the spilled bottle of ink or the large hole in the carpet where her wand had burned a hole into once by accident when she dropped it there.

She grabbed her enormous puffy blanket from the floor and leaped back onto the sofa, waiting for Remus. She probably looked terrible. She screwed up her eyes, determined to make a change in her appearance but it was rather useless. When she opened her eyes, Remus was walking back into the room carrying a small bag of ice with a dishcloth wrapped around it.

"Sorry I look like this." she said with a gesture to herself.

"Why on earth are you apologizing for being sick? You look just fine." He said as he handed the ice to her.

"No pink hair today, on your birthday no less. I'm sure you're disappointed."

"I still think grey suited you best."

She rolled her eyes. "You and the bloody grey. Why not dye your hair blue or something? Go wild. I mean ,since you have more grey hair than my own father-"

"What?" Remus asked sharply.

"There's nothing wrong with that." Tonks laughed as she saw his horrified expression. "My point is, you should live it up a little. You looked so good in pink last time-"

"I think you do enough strange things with your hair for the both of us."

"Oh, so now my hair is strange?"

"It's a good type of strange."

She laughed. "Oh by the way, the jumper looks nice on you."

"I was going to thank you again for it earlier."

"Out of curiosity, what did you do with the tweed one?"

"I kept it." Remus admitted. "And I still wear it most of the time, but this jumper looks so nice, I've decided to wear it for special occasions."

"Good." Tonks said. "I'm glad you like it, oh! Have you seen Sirius yet?"

"Yes, I saw him earlier."

"And do I dare ask you what he got you for your birthday?"

Remus hesitated. "It wasn't exactly…appropriate."

"Oh." She grinned. "Did it have anything to do with the opposite sex?"

"I think he picked it out for me with you in mind." Remus said, his ears rather pink.

She managed to fight back her laughter. "Well, while we're on the subject of Sirius, I meant to tell you- I have the most brilliant April Fools Day joke ever laid out for him. He'll hate me forever."

Remus looked at her in surprise. "That good?"

"Worthy of Marauderdom if I do say so myself."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

She shook her head happily and giggled. "I can't tell you. That'll ruin it. But its VERY good."

"Any props I can help with?"

"Such a nice, caring friend you are to him…but no. No props needed for this one."

He stared at her for a moment a smile playing on his lips. "I'm dying to know what it is."

"I bet you are. Sorry Professor, you'll just have to wait for the rest of the month. This is top secret it is."

'Not even a hint?" he asked.

"Nope." She said smugly.

She laughed outright at the look of disappointment on his face.

He stood up with a faint smile, "I'm going to go check your soup."

"If you want anything to eat, feel free to raid my kitchen!" she said before an unexpected sneeze caused her to reach for the box of tissues on the floor.

She spent a few miserable minutes on the couch, sniffling and sneezing until Remus came back carrying a small tray with soup, some biscuits, and a glass of water.

"You even gave me a napkin." Tonks said as she stared in surprise at the tray before her. "A folded one…"

He smiled. "Is that a problem?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "It's so thoughtful! Thank you."

"If I had known how easy to please you were with folded napkins I wouldn't have bought you a Christmas present." Remus chuckled.

"I love my present though." Tonks said. "Even if it of a feathery little devil-"

She realized quickly that she was much hungrier than she thought, the chicken soup was delicious and her stomach quite empty.

"Here have a biscuit, your making me feel like a pig." Tonks said as she slapped one into his hand. "So tell me, what were you doing for Dumbledore these past few months?"

His prematurely lined face grew dark for a moment, before he said as lightly as he could, "I was trying to find a few specific locations for a group of…people who have possibly allied themselves with Voldemort."

"Werewolves?" she asked bluntly.

He looked at her closely for a moment and then nodded. "Yes. A few months ago, Dumbledore was considering having me work as a spy for the Order by infiltrating the small ranks of werewolves that were starting to form."

She couldn't stop herself from gasping. "Please tell me you said no?" she whispered.

"Well I didn't say no, exactly but I did point out how impossible it would be to find and successfully infiltrate a pack. I felt my skills for the Order could be better served elsewhere."

"And did Dumbledore agree with you?"

"To a point." Remus said slowly. "I think he wishes me to at least attempt to spy on them, which to a degree I've been working on."

"But you haven't actually-?"

"I haven't confronted any werewolf straight on, but I've been doing a lot of research such as tracking their movements and the trying to follow the formation of several probable packs that could be helping Voldemort."

"Are there any werewolves in London that support Voldemort?" she asked as she finished draining the soup.

He nodded slowly. "After the past two months, I am nearly positive there is. And I think I know where they may be hiding."

She looked at him suspiciously. "And your not going to go do something stupid like try to infiltrate and spy on them, are you?"

"Of course not." He said. "Even Dumbledore as much as he wants a spy, realizes the impossibility of the mission being successful and so I'll just continue to do as much as I can without any actual physical undertaking."

Feeling reassured by this news Tonks snuggled up against him as best she could in her enormous blanket. He looked surprised at first but put an arm around her and held her close as he wrapped an arm protectively around her. Tonks wondered if he knew what he meant to her. He saved her from stairs, burning soup, little birds- how could anybody ever think that Remus Lupin was only a 'dangerous half-breed'? He was the most noble, sweetest man she had ever met.

Before she knew it, her eyelids had grown too heavy to keep open and she had fallen asleep with Remus's arm around her.

* * *

When Tonks woke, she found herself sprawled on the couch with the blanket twisted around her and Remus nowhere to be seen. She looked about the empty room before getting up and waddling over with her blanket bulk towards the kitchen. Tonks peeked around the corner to see Remus turned away from her, sitting at her kitchen counter with a cup of steaming tea in front of him. The kitchen was now spotless and the radio was on- some opera was playing.

"Whatcha listening to?" she asked.

Remus's head whipped around to look at her. "Tonks! How are you? Feeling better?"

But she gasped. "OH MY GOD."

"Nymphadora- please, its fine."

"NO! No it isn't!" she cried rushing up to him. "Did I do this?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

She covered her mouth with her hands in horror.

"Nymphadora," Remus said firmly as he gently took hold of her hands. "It's really quite alright."

"I hit you in my sleep! I gave you a black eye!"

Remus appeared to be on the verge of laughter. "And attempted to strangle me at one point."

"NO!"

"But the best was when you were inches away from my face and shouting about how you didn't like trying to cross the street with a pogo stick. That was my favorite."

"I should've warned you, I'm so sorry Remus."

"That you sleep like an octopus?"

"Yes…"

"And babble nonsense at the top of your lungs?"

"That too-"

"Surprisingly, I managed to figure it out myself within the first half hour of you falling asleep."

"How long have I been sleeping?!?!"

"A few hours now."

"And how long were you there?"

He sighed. "My patience wore thin I'm sorry to say and with my ability to breath becoming increasingly restricted because of the tight chokehold, I left about two hours after you fell asleep."

"I am soooooooo sorry." Tonks groaned as she fell into the chair beside him. "And your eye?"

"I've dealt with worse injuries before." He said gently. "This one is hardly worth a second glance."

"I feel terrible." Tonks said. "I mean, I don't always do that. I used to do it a lot when I was little, talking in my sleep and such- but every once in awhile it happens again."

"It was rather amusing."

"Some birthday celebration." Tonks grumbled. "I end up sick, I nearly burn down my flat, I cut my foot open, I strangled and hit you after you made me some lovely soup and we have not gone out for a single drink or had cake."

"Don't worry about it." Remus said firmly.

She shook her head. "So…What is this rubbish?" she asked with a nod towards the radio.

Remus looked at it again before answering. "Muggle opera."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Typical."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well you're the type of bloke that listens to that sort of stuff, aren't you? I should have guessed-"

"And what type of bloke am I?" Remus smiled.

"The quiet, serious, rather-bookish-on-first-glance type."

"Is that so?" Remus asked, looking slightly surprised.

"The best type of guys." Tonks said. "There aren't enough of you out there."

Remus laughed. "I can believe it- we're the ones that are too dull for the rest of the world to bother with."

"Or the ones that everybody was too stupid to recognize how perfect they were until it was too late for them." Tonks said.

Remus frowned slightly at her words but stood up and asked her politely, "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure."

He went over to the stove and Tonks sat there listening to the male tenor singing out loudly on the radio. "So Professor, what's it about?"

"Please Tonks, call me Remus or I will be forced to start calling you Nymphadora again."

Tonks shuddered in mock disgust. "Fine- then, what's it about?"

"The opera?"

"Yeah."

Remus listened to it for a moment and sighed. "It's called: La Boheme. It's a rather famous opera. It follows the love lives of several different characters but focuses mostly on the relationship of Rodolfo, a poor, penniless poet and his frail seamstress neighbor, Mimi. They fall in love-" he paused listening to the radio again- "and proclaim it in this duet actually…'O soave fanciulla' it's called-"

Tonks listened as the music reached a heart-swelling crescendo.

"It's beautiful." She conceded.

"Yes, it is." Remus said. "It was one of my father's favorite operas." He picked up the tea kettle and tapped it with his wand, and some steam started to spout from the kettle.

"Well?" Tonks demanded. "What happens to them?"

"Who?"

"Rodolfo and Mimi?"

"A few months later in the winter, they break up, Mimi is upset and confused and it is revealed that Rodolfo pulled away from her because he knows she is very ill and close to death. He believes that his poverty will kill her and he hopes she'll find someone else wealthier that can give her proper care."

"But that's stupid!" Tonks exclaimed. "She's dying and he's sending her away?!?!?"

"Yes." Remus said. "Rodolfo thinks he's doing the right thing for them both."

"That is so stupid. What's she dying of?"

"Tuberculosis."

"And then what happens?"

"Mimi when she overhears his reasoning demands that Rodolfo leave her. Then in the spring- long after the two have said goodbye- Mimi comes back to Rodolfo and Marcello's place, she's dying." Remus poured the water into the mug and added the teabag in- handing it to Tonks. "The two of them remember how they first met and fell in love and then she dies shortly after."

"She dies?" Tonks cried. "After all that- she just dies!?!?"

"It's not the happiest of operas."

"That's depressing!"

Remus shrugged and Tonks immediately grabbed hold of the radio knob and began searching for her usual station she listened to. After a moment of searching and getting past some radio waves she found the WWN Top hits which was playing a song from The Weird Sisters.

"Now, this is good music."

"Nymphadora, this isn't music- it's a bloody racket."

Tonks stuck out her tongue at him and raised the volume.

Remus listened to it for a moment, a half-smile on his face. "You can't even understand what they're saying."

"Au contraire monsieur. Your opera isn't even in ENGLISH."

"La Boheme is actually sung in Italian- not French."

Tonks ribbed him affectionately. "Oh shut up and stop trying to impress me with your unsuppressed brilliance."

"You know me. I can't miss the chance."

Tonks looked at the time and groaned. "Well, since I've botched up the day enough as it were, I'll try to rectify it. Hold on a minute."

Before Remus could open his mouth she padded her way out of the kitchen and ran into the back of the flat where she grabbed something and ran back to the kitchen.

"Tonks, what did you-?" Remus stopped short as he stared at the object in her hands. "What is that?"

"Your birthday hat." She grinned. "I made it myself."

"That much is obvious."

"Hey…"

Perhaps Remus had a point though. It was without a doubt the strangest birthday hat ever created. Not only was it tall and flashy, it had bright pomp-pom balls that were charmed to light up and she had added lots of tinsel and ribbons that were exploding from every side of it.

"It even plays music." Tonks said eagerly. "Look-" she pressed a small pin she had bought and attached to the back of the hat and immediately realized she should have tested it earlier.

Both her and Remus winced as the music came blasting so loudly, Tonks was amazed the windows didn't crack. Whatever song it was- it wasn't happy birthday. It sounded like a muggle airplane taking off and nails being dragged across a chalkboard.

"Alright." Tonks said, as soon as she pressed the button again to turn it off. "So the music on the hat is faulty. Sorry about that. The truth is I really didn't want to sing you 'Happy Birthday' because I have the worst singing voice in the world."

"You have a lovely singing voice." Remus said, but upon receiving a skeptical look from her, smiled a little. "Alright, maybe it could use a little improvement."

"At least you're honest." Tonks said cheerfully. "And you know that I will never sing your bloody opera, 'La Bottom'-"

"'La Boheme', Tonks."

"Whatever. Medieval culture is weird."

" 'La Boheme' was written in 1896 the late Victorian age-"

"Shut up. Well, put on your hat and then we can eat the lovely cake that I bought. Yes, I'm admitting I bought it. You saw how good I am at making soup, I don't think a cake would be within the realm of possibility. But it's a very good one. Chocolate."

"Excellent." Remus said briskly. "Shall we sit here then at your counter?"

"Sure." Tonks said as she slapped on the birthday hat.

"There's a lot of pink on this hat." he remarked.

"It would be a tragedy if there wasn't any." Tonks said.

"Can I help?"

"No, sit down."

"I'd like to-"

"I'm sure you'd like to but you already saved me from the soup and cleaned up my entire kitchen. I'm in debt to you."

Tonks brought out the small chocolate cake she had bought at a muggle pastry shop a few blocks down. She looked at it critically for a moment and then groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"I should've checked this more carefully."

"Why?"

She held the cake up so that he could see the icing inscription.

" 'Happy Birthday Reemas'" he read. "Well I've gotten worse spellings then that. This one is actually pretty close for a mis-spelling."

"WHY does NOTHING ever go the way I plan it to?" Tonks said in exasperation. "I spelled it out for the woman for god's sake. R-e-m-u-s! How bloody difficult is it?"

Remus was laughing as she angrily started stabbing the cake with the candles she had bought.

"So," she said. "How many candles go on this cake Professor?"

"Can't we just put one candle on it and just have it represent all my years?" Remus asked looking rather pained as he watched Tonks add more and more candles to it.

She kept her back turned to him until she finished and turned around to display the cake.

"Ha ha." He said, trying to appear angry but failing miserably as Tonks noticed the corners of his mouth were twitching, a sure sign that he was fighting back laughter.

She had covered the cake with as many candles as possible. It probably had about 100 candles on it.

"Hold on, let me light it and then we can sing." Tonks said grabbing her wand from the counter.

Remus leaped to his feet looking slightly frightened. "Tonks! I think this might be a very bad-"

Tonks murmered the simple spell under her breath to light the candles on fire and screamed as flames shot out from the end of her wand and engulfed the entire cake.

"-idea!" Remus finished as he grabbed the dishtowel by the sing and began fanning the cake furiously to put the fire out.

Tonks went to put out the flames with her wand and when the smoke had cleared they stared at the gloopy, ash covered cake before them.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Tonks looked over slowly at Remus who turned to look at her at the same time, he was biting his lip.

Remus cracked first. He doubled over roaring with laughter before Tonks joined him, all but screaming with mirth.

They ended up falling onto the kitchen floor, laughing. The whole thing was so ridiculous and so stupid-

Tonks rolled over to Remus who was resting up against the counters, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

But Remus turned to her and shook his head. "Don't be."

Tonks despite being sick, and having a terrible cold gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He looked very surprised but smiled.

"If I get sick in a few days, all thanks to you-"

"It'll just be the icing on the cake." Tonks said rolling her eyes.

"What cake?" Remus added with a nod to the dripping mess on top of the counter.

She swatted his shoulder. "You know what I mean."

"I do." He said gently, as he helped her up.

Tonks flopped onto one of the counter chairs and poked the mess of cake with her finger as Remus sat down beside her.

"I love how everything goes wrong when I want it to go right just for once." Tonks grumbled. "This has got to be the worst birthday party I've ever thrown."

Remus took a sip of tea and smiled at her from over his mug. "On the contrary, I think this is the best one that I've ever had."

* * *

_Authors note: Righto, here's the deal. I think I jinxed myself. Fate is now working against me. The computer broke this weekend so I couldn't use it, and now I find out that I have to go on a trip on Friday that goes till Sunday. Basically, I'm screwed. But I'm going to keep plowing on and see how much I can get up here before I decide what my next step will be. _


	11. Padfoot's Departure

_Author's note: Alrightey- here comes the pivotal point of the story. Come'on- you've all read the books- you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. _

_This chapter is the one that ties in the closest to the actual book, as you read it you'll see why. It's pretty obvious but whatever, its an important one. For details, I've read chapters 34-36 in OOTP so much I think I've just about memorized them._

_And I luv how Voldemort and his Death Eaters are defeated by Harry Potter and his teenage friends time and time again. 50 million Death Eaters vs. Harry and several of his fellow friends. Who wins? Of course, Harry and his mates! I hate the Harry Potter movies (Sry, but I do-mostly cuz of the way most of the characters are portrayed) but they really crack me up because the one spell everybody uses is 'Expelliamus'. Like seriously, what the hell? Everybody freakin uses it. Is there no originality in the Wizarding world according to Warner Brothers? _

_Whatever, here's the chapter-_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven- Padfoot's Departure**

"Alright Mad-Eye, its your turn."

"I'll do no such thing."

"Come'on-" Tonks whined. "Stop being such a poor sport."

"NO!" he snarled.

"Fine, I'll go again." She sighed. "I spy something with my little eye something that is…brown…no! Blue."

She watched him hopefully as he continued to eat his sloppy looking sandwich he had made himself. Some of the mayonnaise was dripping down the sides and Tonks watched in disgust as some of it slid down his chin and onto his robes.

"Well?" she asked him.

"Well, what?"

"The game!" she said impatiently. "What's the object that I picked out?""

"Why would I care?"

"Because that's how the game works!" Tonks exclaimed throwing her arms into the air with exasperation. "And you already have the advantage of having a magical eye!"

"It's pointless." Moody said through a mouthful of chewed up sandwich. "Now leave me alone so that I can eat my dinner in relative peace."

"There's nothing to do." Tonks complained.

He glared at her with his real, dark beady eye. The magical one was pointing up towards the ceiling. "Tonks, do me a favor."

"What?"

"Get out or shut up."

Tonks stood up abruptly. "Why does everyone around here treat me like a child?" she asked angrily.

"Because you act like one." Moody said smoothly. "Now bugger off."

Tonks glared at him before stomping out of the room and into the hallway where she slowly (and much more quietly) began to ascend the stairs.

A child! They still thought of her as a child after all this time. How did she act childish? She'd be coming up on a year soon- a whole year in the Order! She hadn't blown her cover in the Ministry, she'd been on some rather dangerous missions like last month's fiasco with tracking Malfoy and several others, and most importantly, she wasn't dead. She thought that it was a very good start.

She had reached the top of the stairs when she ran into her dark-haired cousin who was coming from one of the side rooms- a bunch of cloth and bandages in his arms.

"What's all that for?" she asked him.

"Buckbeak." Sirius said. "He's injured."

"Injured?" Tonks frowned. "How?"

Sirius shook his head. "I don't know. It's really quite strange. He must have cut his wing on something because its bleeding- but I have no idea how it happened."

"Is he alright?"

"Terrified actually. I haven't seen him this worked up before."

She eyed the cloths and wraps in his arms. "I could get you some tartan bandages if you wanted."

His head snapped up and he glared at her. "Ha. Ha. Ha."

She snorted. "It was funny."

"I won't ever forgive you for that." Sirius said angrily.

She screwed up her face, thinking hard.

"Don't you-"

"Mr. Black!" she said sharply, opening her eyes. "Come back here so I can hold you in my arms once again!"

"Get away from-"

"I'll never forget you! That kiss we shared! That precious moment! Kiss me again!"

"You're sick." Sirius snarled, jumping back from her outstretched arms.

"Come to Professor McGonagall-"

"I hate you."

"It was the best April Fools joke ever! You should have seen your face when I threw my arms around you and professed my undying love-"

"I almost pissed myself in shock."

Tonks laughed and closed her eyes again to turn herself back into her normal appearance that she preferred. "It was bloody brilliant; you have to admit that. Or at least give me points for creativity and original thoughtfulness."

He glowered but she noticed the smallest flicker of a genuine smile. His grey eyes were even twinkling. "Alight, it wasn't bad-"

"HA!" Tonks crowed gleefully, throwing an arm around her cousin in an ecstatic hug. "I knew it! I knew you thought it was good!"

"I'm just saying that because if I wasn't part of the joke and was just an onlooker, it would have been pretty good. I mean- God, I thought Moony was going to kiss the hell out of you right there on the spot for pulling that one off. I hadn't seen him that excited over a prank in years."

"Pity he didn't." she said immediately before she could stop herself.

Sirius wagged his eyebrows, looking suddenly very sly. "Well," he said with an air of false casualness about him. "There's always the future."

The pretend ease did not go unnoticed by her. "Are we talking about a near future?"

"Perhaps." He said coolly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of Buckbeak before he does any more damage to himself. I'm thinking for sure now he must have hurt himself on something in my Mother's room. Never trust my family, or our entire family tree for that matter-"

"Our family wreath-" Tonks interrupted. "There's no tree, but a wreath. What with all the inner marriages and stuff."

Sirius looked at her and burst out laughing. "Young Tonks, you are the best."

"Does that mean I get a new broom now?" she asked hopefully.

"Sorry, still not that special enough." He grinned as he ducked the wild blow she threw at him.

She turned to head into one of the side rooms, but Sirius made a noise of protest.

"Bad idea." He said. "Something went off in there earlier, think it was an old dungbomb from the Weasley twins but I'm not sure."

"Oh, thanks." She said. "Do you want me to come with you then and help?"

"No, no no." he said hurriedly. "Why don't you go in the study for now or something?"

The look was a little too innocent. Tonks slowly started to smile… "Alright." She said finally. "I'll go in the study. Unless there's a dungbomb in there too?"

He shook his head. "Not that I'm aware of."

She turned to the study door. "Alright."

"Good luck." He said, and she could have sworn he gave her the smallest of winks before turning and heading down the landing.

She watched him leave before she walked into the room and stopped short. Remus Lupin was sitting there on the sofa, with an enormous book in his arms.

"Oh." She said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

"No, it's alright." Remus said hoarsely as he looked up from his book.

She turned her head slightly to read the title of the book, "'Persecution of the bestial, violent, half-breeds'. Sounds lovely."

"It's rather amusing to read. It was written back during the middle ages." Remus said, staring closely at her.

"Oh."

Remus set his book aside. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something is bothering you."

"Fine. Something is. How did you know?"

"I'm afraid to admit that Snape had a point that day when he said you have Sirius's hot temper." Remus said with a small smile. "It shows even when you try to hide it."

Tonks smiled back reluctantly.

Remus moved over so that she could sit down on the sofa next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She hesitated. "It's…a bit weird."

He looked as if he could wait forever for her to tell him what she wanted to. She took a deep breath and walked over to the couch, giving the side table with a large vase next to it a wide berth. She flopped down and tried to organize her scattered thoughts. "It's just…people still think I'm childish. I know that I have a silly, bubbly personality and I do stupid, clumsy things sometimes….but it feels like that's the reason I stick out from everybody else. Even people like Bill and Kingsley seem to fit right in here. I'm different from them- but I'm very serious about the work I do and am just as determined as they are..." She trailed off thinking hard. "I dunno. I still don't fit in no matter how hard I try. Everyone is so much older and experienced here and some of them are the best wizards of our time. How can I possibly compete with that?"

"Why do you feel you have to?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Well, I'm in the Order."

"That doesn't mean anything." He said firmly. "Tonks, listen to me. You are an amazing young witch and you are…perfect just the way you are."

She rolled her eyes. "I can change my appearance at will, Remus."

"No, I didn't mean your appearance. I meant your personality." He said softly.

She stared at him. She had never gotten that before. It had always seemed that people, (meaning men) couldn't understand why her personality didn't change with her appearance. Most men she had dated in the past typically found her irritating after they discovered how she had no intention of being their arm candy. And here before her, for the first time was a man who was looking at her perfect her personality was rather than how many different shades of eye color she could create or what cup size bra she could fit into.

"Oh." She said quietly. "Thanks. That really means a lot to me…."

He smiled. "Your welcome."

She looked at him for a minute, her thoughts racing.

"I don't get it!" she finally exclaimed.

"Get what?"

"Why do we get along so well? You see and understand me perfectly, and I could be wrong but I think I understand you pretty well too."

He frowned. "Tonks, what do you see in me?"

"A brave and chivalrous man whose been hurt by other people who treat him like he isn't human just because of a monthly condition."

He opened his mouth in surprise and stared at her for a moment. "I'm…touched." he said finally.

_You will be._ Tonks thought wickedly. _As soon as you let down your guard I'm going to be all over you so fast-_

She forced herself to answer him. "It's true though." she said. "You've suffered so much prejudice and with you being such a kind person, I'm amazed you haven't broke under it all already. But that's why you're such a strong person. You just take the blows that life gives you and keep going. Do you have any idea how few people can do that Remus?"

He shook his head. "I've learned to keep going out of necessity-"

"And you're humble!" Tonks exclaimed. "You are such a wonderful man and I don't even think you realize it sometimes."

She scooted closer next to him on the sofa. "But as I was saying, we get along so well even though we're so different. I'm sure you might've guessed by now, but despite all our differences I've never quite felt the way I do around you with anybody else. Even though you listen to opera, wear tweed, you prefer chocolate-"

"You listen to pop, you wear strange t-shirts and like vanilla over chocolate." Remus smiled. "All little, insignificant things to be sure."

"Personality wise too though." She pointed out. "I'm obnoxious, loud and annoying and your-"

"Mild-mannered, quiet, and rather dull." Remus finished for her. "That is true."

She frowned. "So why do we get along so well?"

He opened his mouth and paused, looking as if he were on the verge of saying something. He shook his head. "I don't know." He said gently. "But I'm not complaining."

"Nor I." she said with a smile.

_And without the aid of alcohol, I am going to do this._ Tonks thought in a determined sort of way._ What if he gets up and leaves? What if I'm just being too bold-No, I've been waiting for Remus bloody Lupin for months now. _

_What if he hates me? Don't be stupid, of course he doesn't-he said you had a great personality or whatever and he thought you were 'charming' at one time. He kissed you on Christmas- remember? And he saved your kitchen from burning down?_

_Yeah, but we were both kinda smashed on Christmas. _She thought gloomily. _And there was that time on the stairs where he started to kiss me and pulled away-_

_Well than this is the way to_ _find out, isn't it? Kiss him, and if he doesn't kiss you back, you'll know he doesn't actually fancy you. _

_He said he did on Christmas. _

_Yeah, well you were all pretty drunk- he could've been saying it just to not hurt your feelings. _

It was now or never._ You have nothing to loose…_

_Actually, you have a lot. Your pride, your dignity, your reputation, your friendship-_

Tonks leaned forward and kissed Remus Lupin on the lips. She closed her eyes as she did so and waited for him to kiss her back.

He didn't move.

She pulled away quickly and turned away. "Right." She said quickly, feeling upset and embarrassed. "Well, I'd better be off. You know-"

But suddenly she felt his hand on the side of her face and she turned to look at him.

To her shock, he was laughing softly. "Sorry," he said. "I was so fascinated with watching you think for the past minute, I wasn't ready."

Tonks barely had time to register proper surprise before he leaned forward and kissed her.

"I'm going to kill you." She said angrily when the broke apart.

"Well, I hope not right now. You see I've wanted to kiss you in relative peace for some time and it seems unfair that you would like to kill me now after such a long wait."

Her mouth dropped in shock. "Really?"

He smiled. "Really."

And after a mere few seconds of some more kissing Remus Lupin, Tonks decided death wasn't really necessary.

* * *

Sirius strode into the dark, room where the old ex-auror was attempting to finish off a messy sandwich. "Buckbeak's alright. He got injured somehow, but he's fine now with the exception of being a little sore." He sat down in a stiff-backed chair facing Moody and grinned. "So, how did you get her out of the kitchen?"

"Told her to go and leave me alone so I could eat my sandwich in piece."

"Why're you eating it in here then?"

"Your damned house-elf kicked me out and I decided it would be more comfortable to eat dinner up here."

"Kreacher kicked you out?" Sirius frowned. "Why? What was he doing?"

"He was starting to clean from the look of it."

Sirius let out an incredulous snort. "That piece of filth hasn't cleaned a bit of this house in years."

Moody shrugged and brushed the crumbs off his robes.

Sirius smiled. "I convinced Tonks that a Dungbomb had gone off in a room so if she wanted to sit somewhere that was safe she'd best go into the study. Dunno if she was completely convinced but she went in there anyways."

"How did you get Lupin in there?" Moody asked with a lopsided grin.

"I had him in there earlier. I lied and said there was a funny book on werewolves that he should read."

"Good one."

"Thanks."

A loud smash from the upstairs room caused them both to stare up at the ceiling.

"Er-" Sirius said with a suggestive smile, "I guess it's going pretty well then."

Moody's magical eye flickered up to the ceiling for a moment. "She just knocked over a vase by accident with her foot but they don't seem too bothered by it- too busy-" he shook his head, looking disgusted. The glimpse of two people taking the time to do something enjoyable like kissing was apparently too much for him to bear.

Sirius looked at Moody thoughtfully, "Handy having a magical eye then?"

"Trust me." Moody growled. "There're times I wish I was completely blind instead, so that I wouldn't have to see some things... Like during that Christmas party during the first Order, when I walked in on you and Marlene McKinnon in the living room-"

Sirius threw back his head, and laughed.

* * *

"Remus! Tonks!" 

They both jumped in surprise- and Tonks rolled off the couch with a small scream as she hit the floor.

"Get out here you two- now."

They looked at each other. Something was wrong. Sirius normally would have come bursting in the room if he had known they were in there- to embarrass and ridicule them, laughing all the while. But then he sounded tense and anxious from behind the door.

"We'll be right there." Remus said.

Sirius's footsteps receded quickly down the hallway.

Tonks frowned. "Do you think this has anything to do with the Order."

"Possibly." Remus said quietly. _This can't be good, whatever it is._

Tonks smiled slyly at him. "We always seem to get interrupted at times like this, don't we?"

She was perfectly right. Right when he had lost resistance and forgotten about being a werewolf and his miserable situation in life, something happened where reality (usually in the form of Sirius) was struck hard upon him. He sat up and straightened his robes the best he could- Tonks crawled over and helped him button the top ones that had somehow come undone during the time they had spent on the couch.

"You need to fix this one-" Tonks said, fingering the loose top button gently. "It's coming loose."

"I'm afraid my sewing skills are as bad as your cooking skills." Remus admitted.

Tonks grinned and started to fix herself up. "Come'on Professor."

"Right behind you Nymphadora."

She laughed as she stood up from the floor, "Let's go." She said cheerfully.

"Not even a slap or a reminder that it's Tonks." Remus said in surprise. "I seem to be making progress."

She turned around and slapped him lightly. "Don't flatter yourself too quickly."

They headed downstairs together. As they walked into the empty entrance hall, Remus spied Kreacher curled up against the slightly open kitchen door. He seemed to be shaking with barely suppressed silent laughter.

"Kreacher, is everyone downstairs?"

But the house-elf could only continue laughing silently to himself. Remus turned to Tonks who gave him a confused look as they headed downstairs into the kitchen.

Sirius, Moody and Kingsley were standing there talking quietly amongst themselves. The grim look on everyone's faces was Remus's indication that something had gone terribly wrong.

"What's going on?" he asked sharply.

"It's Harry." Sirius said.

Remus felt the blood drain from his face. "What do you mean? Where is he? What's wrong?"

"He's at the Department of Mysteries, in the Ministry."

_Dear god, how does Harry always end up in situations like this?_ Remus wondered. "How?" he asked hoarsely.

"He thinks Sirius is there," Moody said. "Snape just sent another message along-"

"Snape?" Tonks asked in confusion.

"He sent a message earlier to see if Sirius was here at Grimmauld Place." Kingsley said. "And he just sent another one telling us Harry and several other students are missing. They've gone to rescue Sirius."

Moody swore under his breath.

"But surely…" Tonks said hurriedly. "Harry would have checked in to see if Sirius was here himself before racing off to the Ministry?"

"You might think so." Sirius said. "But he hasn't."

"What about the mirror you gave him?" Remus asked his friend.

The others turned to stare at them both but neither Remus or Sirius bothered to explain at that moment.

"No. He hasn't contacted me on that either." Sirius said. "I tried to get in contact with him, but he doesn't seem to have it on him."

"What mirror?" Tonks asked.

"A safe method of communication." Remus explained quickly as he saw Moody open his mouth to start asking questions. "So now he's gone to the Department of Mysteries because he thinks Sirius is there?"

"Yes."

"But why? Why would he think Sirius is there?"

"We have no idea." Kingsley said in his deep, slow voice.

Remus ran a hand through his graying hair. "We have to go. We have to get him back."

"That's what I've been saying all along." Sirius said with an irritated look at Moody and Kingsley. "We're wasting time."

"Snape left a message for someone to stay behind to tell Dumbledore what's going on when he gets here." Kingsley said.

Remus turned to look at Sirius who was staring defiantly at them all now and realized what the issue was.

"Sirius…" he said gently.

"I'm not staying." Sirius said loudly.

"If Snape suggested that you stay-"

"He suggested." His dark haired friend snarled. "Well he can suggest all he likes-"

"Let me grab my wand, I left it upstairs- hold on." Tonks said suddenly as she sprinted out of the room.

They followed her upstairs and waited for a moment in the entrance hall. Sirius was apparently still in the kitchen.

Tonks came quickly down the stairs and nearly tripped on the bottom. Remus who had expected this caught her at the foot of the stairs and helped straighten her up.

"Thanks." She said breathlessly. "Shall we go?"

Moody opened the door and they followed him outside into the dark night.

They were all outside the front door when suddenly Remus noticed Sirius was with them standing behind Tonks and Kingsley.

"Sirius! What do you think you're doing? You can't come!"

"I'm going Remus and you can't stop me. I've got Kreacher to tell the message to Dumbledore when he gets here."

"Sirius-I won't let you come." Remus said sternly and grabbed hold of his friend to bring him back inside.

"Let go of me!" Sirius bellowed, jerking away from him.

"Dumbledore has told you-"

"To hell with Dumbledore and if you think I'm going to listen to a word Snivellus said you must be deranged or something."

"Sirius! Please! Listen to me-"

"James's son is out there in danger of being murdered by the same man who murdered his parents, and do you think I'm going to sit here and wait around until he dies as well?!?!" Sirius roared.

The other members of the Order were watching them in stunned silence. Tonks was staring at them both, wide-eyed.

Remus knew then what had to be done. Looking into Sirius's furious, blazing grey eyes, he understood what Sirius was going through at last. Sirius inwardly, would never stop blaming himself for James and Lily's death. Being named Harry's godfather was enough for him to dedicate all of his surviving loyalty to their orphaned son. Through protecting Harry, Sirius felt he was redeeming himself somewhat. And now in a time of peril he was going to save Harry no matter what the cost not only because he felt he owed it to his dead friends, but because he truly loved and cared about his godson. And the few people that Sirius truly loved were the ones he felt sworn to protect.

Even though it was reckless and irrational of Sirius to do such a thing, Remus knew that it was more from love of Harry than his own usual rashness that was propelling Sirius to do what he was.

Remus nodded. "Alright-" he said softly, letting go of his friend. "You can come."

"I wasn't asking for your permission." Sirius sneered. "I'd have gone with or without it."

But Remus knew as well as Sirius did that without Remus siding with him- he would most likely have to stay, being forced by the rest of the Order. Sirius never would thank him but Remus knew deep down, his friend appreciated it.

"Lupin-" Moody said in his gravelly voice, limping up to him. "Might I point out that we are following Dumbledore's orders because that is what we have sworn to do, and acting on selfish impulse-"

"We need people to fight." Remus said firmly.

Moody stared at him with both eyes, before looking over at Sirius who was standing there, stony faced and resilient.

He nodded, his magical eye swiveling about. "Alright then…let's go."

* * *

The Ministry of Magic was dark, quiet and completely empty when they apparated there and Remus thought the setting couldn't be more fitting. They took the golden lift down to the ninth floor, the quickest way to the Department of Mysteries. None of them said anything to break the eerie silence. 

The doors opened, "Department of Mysteries" said the cool, female voice as they climbed out.

Remus and Sirius were the last ones to walk out of the lift.

"So you and Tonks were together." Sirius said his voice had no joking tone in it- he sounded grim as if he were stating a fact. His face looked strained from the situation at hand.

Tonks was in the lead now- saying something to Moody.

"Yes, we were."

"Do you see what I was on about? Faint heart never won fair lady."

"I'm not fainted hearted."

"You doubt yourself too much. That's your problem- you're more than capable of putting effort into a relationship with Tonks- you're just too afraid of failure and heartbreak. Don't be a coward like I was with love, Remus you'll only regret it in the end."

Remus said nothing as they continued quickly down the dark corridor towards the solitary door at the end of it, not knowing that that would be the last piece of advice his friend would ever give him.

"This is it!" Tonks exclaimed as she ran pushed open the plain, dark door.

They followed her inside and stood there in the center of a dark, circular room with blue, flamed candles that were set in between dark doors that surrounded the room. As soon as Kingsley, the last person in the group stepped inside and shut the door- the walls began to make a strange noise and Remus saw the candles on the wall slowly starting to revolve around them. The doors and blue candles became a spinning blur as the circular wall picked up speed and then suddenly, it all stopped.

"Where do we go?" Tonks whispered.

Sirius stared at the surrounding doors, a furious look on his face. "We could split up-"

"Bad idea." Moody said immediately.

Sirius rounded on him. "Then how the HELL are we supposed to find Harry and the others? There's probably a one in twelve chance now that we-"

And suddenly a loud scream of pain came from one of the doors that was to their right.

Sirius sprinted to the door, Remus right behind him, as he flung it open and ran inside.

Through the door was a large rectangular room. Tiered, stone benches surrounded a large dais in the middle where an old, veiled archway stood. And there on the dais, surrounded by Death Eaters, was Harry-ready to hand over a small glowing object into Lucius Malfoy's outstretched hand.

Tonks was the first to send down a stunning spell but Malfoy deflected it just in time as the other Death Eaters realized the arrival of the Order.

As Remus raced down the steps, he saw Harry run over to the crumpled figure of another boy lying on the dais. Neville Longbottom seemed to be shouting to Harry over the flashes of the spells and so with that knowledge that at the moment, both boys were safe, Remus rushed at two of the nearby Death Eaters and began to duel.

* * *

In the dimly lit room, flashes from curses and spells filled the air as the Order dueled the many Death Eaters. Tonks sent a stunning spell down on the dark haired woman whom she was dueling with. She had recognized Bellatrix without any hesitation but she wondered if her aunt knew it was her. 

She quickly found out.

"So nice to see you after all these years!" Bellatrix laughed as she deflected Tonks's spell.

Tonks was determined to ignore her as she sent down another spell.

"Allied yourself on the wrong side of the family! But hardly unexpected with your mudblood loving Mummy-"

"YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MY MUM!" Tonks yelled as she threw another spell at her Aunt. In her rage she had forgotten she was ignoring Bellatrix's insults.

Bellatrix deflated it with a truly wicked grin. "My poor dirty-blooded little niece, didn't your father ever teach you not to play with magic?"

Tonks grit her teeth as she threw another spell at her. Bellatrix sent one up at the same time. They collided in midair and ricocheted off into the air around them.

"Your Auntie Bella is more knowledgeable in the ways of magic than you dearie. You should stop now before she decides not to give you a Christmas present for next year." Bellatrix said in a mocking baby-talk voice.

"After fourteen years of waiting for one- I hardly expect one now." Tonks laughed just as coldly as her aunt.

"STUPEFY!" Bellatrix screeched.

Tonks sent up a shield charm just in time. She raised her wand, ready to strike again when she took a step backwards to brace herself.

She had forgotten that the stone bench was right behind her, she stumbled- but managed to stop herself from falling.

Unfortunately, it was all the time Bellatrix needed to send over another spell. With a wicked smile and an almost mad look in her eyes she raised her wand high above her head, and brought it down in a sharp arc in front of her-

Tonks didn't have any time to defend herself- the jet of bright blue light hit her straight on before she could even lift her wand arm.

There was a burst of pain, a flash of white before her eyes- and then…nothing.

* * *

Remus ducked as the Death Eater in front of him sent over another curse- as he had hoped it went right over him and hit the Death Eater that was behind Remus and dueling Kingsley. 

He jumped to his feet and sent over a stunning spell at the obviously startled Death Eater- it hit him straight over and he fell over.

He turned around, and in that fraction of a second, time seemed to have slowed down to a complete crawl as the breath left his lungs entirely.

_Tonks…_

He stared at her limp form toppling down the stone benches from across the room-

_She isn't! She couldn't be-_

The word that he had struggled not to think of that entire night came falling down upon him with full force like a heavy weight. The likelihood had hung heavy in the air since they had first left Grimmauld Place, but facing an actual possibility was too much-

_No! _

He snapped out of his numb shock and ran forward, the loud noises and flashes of spells around him utterly meaningless.

_She isn't- she isn't- don't say it- don't even think it- she can't be-_

For the first time since meeting her, Remus was unable to catch Tonks from falling down the stairs. As he ran forward he suddenly caught sight of Lucius Malfoy, his wand raised before the two young boys before him.

He threw himself between them. "Harry, round up the others and GO!" he shouted before confronting Malfoy.

Remus only partly aware that he was dueling Malfoy, his thoughts were all on Tonks.

_She can't be… she can't be- she's probably just stunned. She isn't-_

He blocked Malfoy's spell, barely aware of what was going on.

_Focus, she'll be fine- _

He sent over a stunning spell as he heard a yell behind him.

Lucius Malfoy blocked the spell but his eyes widened as he seemed to catch sight of somebody behind Remus- he started to run away but was suddenly pulled backwards by an invisible line towards the middle of the room where several other Death Eaters were standing. Remus turned around. Dumbledore was standing there, his wand out. Remus let out a sigh of relief as he watched the Death Eaters be rounded up.

Harry was safe, the Death Eaters were captured and-

Suddenly a loud, barklike laugh filled the room.

"Come'on, you can do better than that!" came a familiar voice from the dais behind him.

Remus turned around to see the red beam of light from Bellatrix Lestrange's wand hit his best friend right in the chest. In that split second, Remus felt as if he had been hit too-

Sirius started to fall backwards, surprise in his grey eyes despite the smile that was still lingering upon his pale, gaunt face. For the second time that night, time slowed to a terrible crawl as Remus stood there and helplessly watched his friend fall through the veiled archway.

The tattered, black veil whipped about wildly as if it were caught in a high wind and then fell gently back into place- Sirius was gone.

Remus could only stand there, staring at the spot his best friend had been moments ago. He couldn't move, he couldn't think- everything seemed to have stopped. He didn't even hear Bellatrix's triumphant scream that rang through the large room.

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"

It was Harry's voice that pulled Remus back to his senses. He turned to see the horrified boy sprinting towards the dais. Without even clearly thinking he grabbed the boy around the chest and held him back tightly.

"There's nothing you can do Harry." His voice and mind seemed to be working mechanically.

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late Harry-"

"We can still reach him-" Harry started to struggle hard and viciously with him.

Remus held onto him more tightly. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."

"He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled as he continued to fight him. "Sirius! Sirius!"

Why was he being so calm about this? The urge to release Harry and run through the archway himself after his friend was so overwhelming, he forced himself to hold on all the more tighter to Harry. _Don't think about it- don't think about it-_There was no time for emotion in war-especially not in a place like this- "He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back because he's d-"

"HE-IS-NOT-DEAD!" Harry roared. "SIRIUS!"

Though it was difficult to contain Harry, Remus managed to drag him away from the dais- the bursting and flashing of spells still continuing around them. Behind them Remus was just barely aware that Kingsley had rushed forward to fight Bellatrix.

Remus saw Neville Longbottom who was dancing at the bottom of the stairs and his legs performing a mad, out of control tap dance.

"Harry? Harry I'b really sorry. Was dat man- was Sirius Black a- a friend of yours?" said Neville. Remus still kept a firm grip on Harry's arm even though he had stopped struggling. Harry nodded in response to Neville's question- his eyes blank.

"Here." said Remus quietly. "_Finite."_ Neville stopped dancing with the counter-spell. Remus forced himself to think of the current situation and not to think of what had just happened. "Let's-let's find the others. Where are they all Neville?" He couldn't look at the archway behind him. He couldn't. To do so would bring all of the truth crashing down upon him and he didn't think he would be able to take it this time.

"Dey're back dere, A brain addacked Ron bud I dink he's all righd- and Herbione's unconscious, bud we could feel a bulse-"

There was a sudden loud bang and a yell from the dais. Remus spun around, forgetting his vow not to look at the dais and saw Kingsley falling to the ground, yelling in pain. Bellatrix was now running up the stone steps as Dumbledore spun around to throw a spell at her. She deflected it and kept running-

Suddenly Remus felt Harry rip away from his slackened grip.

"Harry- no!" Remus cried.

But Harry was already chasing after Bellatrix. "SHE KILLED SIRIUS!" he bellowed. "SHE KILLED HIM- I'LL KILL HER!"

He began scrambling up the stone benches.

"HARRY!" Remus shouted. _No Harry! No! Not Harry too! Please not Harry!_

He was vaguely aware that his own feet were chasing after Harry's. He reached the top of the steps and ran through the doorway where Harry had just gone. Upon racing into the room- he nearly slipped on the slimy green floor flooded with some foul potion. He was in a large rectangular room with an overturned tank in the middle. He started to run forward again when he felt himself pulled back by someone.

It was Dumbledore. "See to the rest of the students, Remus." He said firmly.

"But Harry-"

"I'm going now." Dumbledore said. "He will be fine."

Remus stared into Dumbledore's light blue eyes for a moment and then nodded. Dumbledore released Remus's arm and swiftly ran on ahead.

Suddenly his shaky knees gave out from under him, with a shuddering gasp he gripped onto the overhead tank to keep from falling down.

He couldn't snap. Not like last time with James and Lily…he had to stay strong…he had to keep going. There were other people that were relying on him to stay strong.

"Professor Lupin?"

He peered into the corner where he saw the outlines of four teenage students. With a deep breath he quickly walked over. As he drew nearer he recognized the boy who was attempting to peel what looked like brain tentacles from off his arms. "Ronald!"

The red-haired boy looked up at him blankly, a silly smile on his face. "Professor Lupin-haha, how did you get here?"

He looked over at the others Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger were unconscious, Ginny Weasley was sitting upright though and holding her ankle, looking pained.

"Ginny, is this everyone?"

"Neville's missing." She said. "And I just saw Harry run by-"

"Dumbledore's with him. Besides Neville, is there anyone else?"

She shook her head.

"Are you-"

"I think my ankle's broken. But Ron-"

Remus looked at the red haired boy who was giggling feebly on the ground. "I'll do what I can." He said. "But I'm sure the Healers will be able to take care of you all a little better when they arrive."

"What's going on?" Ginny asked. "I heard fighting."

"A few members from the Order of the Phoenix arrived and there was duel with the Death Eaters. Their all safely tied up now."

"What about the prophecy?"

He had forgotten the small glowing object in the whole scheme of everything else. "I have no idea." He confessed. "But I know the Death Eaters don't have it."

Ginny looked at him closely. "Are you alright Professor?"

He nodded and forced himself to started working on taking as many brain tentacles as he could off of Ron, making a small splint for Ginny's ankle and bringing a more bewildered looking than usual Luna Lovegood back to consciousness before he turned to Hermione.

"What was she hit with?"

Neville had come up and joined them in the past few minutes. Remus had mended his nose the best he could.

"I don't know. The man just brought his wand across-"

"There they are!"

Remus leaped to his feet, his wand out as a group of people walked into the room. Bright robed Ministry officials and Emergency Healers walked in. Quickly realizing that they were there to help, Remus lowered his wand and allowed the Healers to come up to the kids.

"Dumbledore has insisted that these students be brought back to Hogwarts as soon as possible." said one blonde haired Healer.

Luna and Neville helped Ginny to her feet as some of the officials came to closely examine a still brain-damaged Ron and an unconscious Hermione.

From the door that lead into the Death Chamber another group of Healers and officals came walking through. Two of them were carrying a stretcher where a familiar young woman lay on it.

"Tonks!" Remus cried. He had almost forgotten the pink-haired witch in the light of everything else. He sprinted forward and stood there, by Tonks's side staring down at her.

"She's going to be alright we think." Said one of the nearby wizards looking up at him. "But we need to bring her to St. Mungo' immediately. We're not sure with what she was hit with."

Remus held onto Tonks's small, pale hand as if wishing he could heal her just by holding it as tight as possible. Her hand was very cold.

"You can accompany us if you wish."

"Yes, yes I would like to."

He didn't let go of her hand the whole way up through the Ministry. On the way out of the Department of Mysteries he ran into Kingsley and Moody whose head was covered in bloody bandages.

"I'm going with Tonks to St. Mungo's." he told them as they passed by.

Kingsley nodded. "I'll tell Dumbledore."

They both watched him go, looking grave. Remus turned to Tonks who was still lying quite still.

_I won't let you die…your not going to die…don't die…_

* * *

Remus sat there outside the door, waiting. He had been waiting for hours. He hadn't been thinking of anything. He just focused on breathing and not thinking at all. When his thoughts did start to wander, he directed them towards mindless things such as the pattern of floor tiles or the portrait of the landscape that was hanging on the wall across from him. 

"Excuse me sir-" said an assistant Healer who had checked on him periodically since he first arrived. "Might I suggest going home and getting some rest? Getting some food, perhaps?"

Remus stared up at the Healer who took an unconscious step backwards as she saw the look of pain in his eyes.

"No thank you." He said quietly.

"Would you like a cup of tea or something?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

She bit her lip looking nervous before heading off.

He was exhausted, he was frightened and he was still fighting off the overwhelming pain in his heart that was clinging onto him like some sort of terrible parasite.

Whether minutes or hours passed- Remus didn't know. Time was meaningless now.

"Sir…?" said a voice nearby.

Remus looked up to see a young, handsome looking Healer with standing there, a clipboard in hand. He stood up.

"Healer James Rodale." He said shaking his hand. "Your daughter's going to be alright."

Remus frowned slightly at the healers words, "She's not my daughter…she's my-" he paused trying to think of what him and Tonks's relationship was at that point. He decided to play it safe. "She's my friend." He said quietly.

"Oh. Of course." The healer said with a nod. "Sorry about that."

Remus's lips twitched into the smallest of smiles. "It's fine."

"She's still out, but she's going to be fine. We're expecting her to wake up in a day or two...there's no permanent damage fortunately. You can go in and see her if you want."

He thanked the Healer before walking over to the door and hesitated, his hand on the knob. With a deep breath he turned the handle and pushed his way inside.

Tonks was lying there, still unconscious but she seemed a little less pale than she had been in the Ministry. Her hair despite everything, was still a bright pink.

He walked over to the side of her bed and pulled up an empty wooden chair that was nearby. Remus sat there and for a moment could only stare numbly at her. Her breathing was steady, she looked as if she were just sleeping….

Just sleeping…He shuddered involuntarily. He still remembered two friends, a husband and a wife that he had had to arrange funerals for on his own and he still remembered how they looked as if they were 'still sleeping' when the coffin lids closed down on them.

He reached over and gently caressed the side of Tonks's face. Her skin wasn't as cold as it had been earlier. He let out a sigh of relief and sat there watching her.

She was very brave and as he looked at her he thought of how young she was to be doing what she had already. He thought about what Sirius was going to say when he told him that the Healer had thought Tonks was his daughter.

Suddenly he remembered what had happened. Sirius wasn't going to say anything. He was gone. The raw and terrible pain came flooding to him and he forced himself to push it away but it was too late. All of the contained misery came crashing down upon him right there by Tonks's bedside.

Remus put his head in his shaking hands trying to control himself. Tears fell down his face as he silently wept for his dead friend.

Defiant.

Sirius had always been defiant. He had defied his family, defied authority, and defined everything that came into his path. Remus had once thought when they were still at school together, that if there was a way for Sirius to go, he'd be laughing defiantly in the face of death up to his final, last seconds on earth.

How right he had been.

* * *

He spent the next day and a half by Tonks's bedside. A few people came by to see Tonks including some members of the Order such as Kingsley, Bill Weasley and Mad-Eye Moody who talked to Remus about what was going on with the Ministry's new reaction to Voldemort's return. Tonks had also received a few flowers from friends and co-workers that had heard about her accident. 

One small vase of flowers caught Remus's attention when he saw it was only addressed 'To: Tonks. Get well soon'

He flipped over the small card to see who had sent it and when there was no signature to be seen he stared at the plant for a moment. It seemed like just some plain tulips but Remus remembered the incident with Boderick Bode and the Devil's Snare. When no one was looking, he took the tulips and put them in a cleaning closet down the hall. He shoved the small card into his trouser pocket.

On re-entering Tonks's room he stopped short in the doorway. A man and a dark, red haired woman were sitting by her bed holding hands.

The woman looked up at Remus's arrival and he almost gasped. The smoothily pale, almost arrogant looking face was very similar to her sister's Bellatrix.

"Hullo." She said with a rather watery smile which contrasted sharply with her elegant features. "Healer Rodale told us there might be someone else here."

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to intrude, I'll leave."

"No, no." she said, standing up. "Please stay for a moment." She stuck out her hand. "I'm Andromeda Tonks and this is my husband, Ted."

Remus shook her hand and turned to Ted who shook his hand with a rather forced smile.

"My name is Remus Lupin." He said quietly. "I'm a…friend of Nymphadora's."

Andromeda Tonks wiped away another tear. "Were you there?" she asked him. "Did you see what happened?"

He could not bring himself to tell Andromeda that her sister was the one responsible for Tonks's being there. Nor could he lie.

"I was there." He said. "Tonks was fighting a Death Eater. I didn't see entirely what happened but I did see her falling down the steps."

Andromeda's face was chalk white. Ted put an arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

"She never could keep her balance on stairs." Andromeda said with a faint smile. It sounded as if it were taking her a lot of effort to keep her voice steady. "She's rather clumsy, as I'm sure you know."

He nodded.

Ted Tonks pulled up another chair with his wand. "Sit down." He said kindly. "I'm sure we have a lot to talk about."

Remus took a seat beside them, the tight, painful feeling in his chest having loosened somewhat…

* * *

Remus was half-asleep, his head on his chest. Ted and Andromeda Tonks had left a few hours ago and it was quite late. He was on the verge of falling into a deep sleep himself when- 

"Remus…?"  
His head snapped up and he saw Tonks looking up at him, her eyes rather bleary looking.

"Wotcher." she said weakly. "You look like shit…the full moon's not for another two weeks, either…" she looked at him closely. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired." Remus said quietly.

She stared at him and sat up a little. "Something happened at the Ministry, didn't it?"

He wondered how she could have known that just from the sound of his voice- and he thought he had concealed whatever emotion was brewing inside him so well too.

He considered lying…but he couldn't. She would find out eventually. He opened his mouth but no sound came from it.

As the seconds lengthened, her eyes widened suddenly. "It's Sirius isn't it?"

He nodded slowly.

She stared at him and the silence continued to grow between them. Finally, she shut her eyes and turned her head to the side. "Who killed him?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange."

He saw a tear squeeze itself from under her eyelashes and slide down her pale face. He could tell she was trying to fight away the flood of tears that were on the verge of falling.

He held her hand gently. "Don't think that it's your fault…its not."

"I know." She whispered. More tears started to fall.

Remus let his head fall forward and let out his breath in a soft sigh.

"It's war isn't it?" Tonks said quietly, more to herself then to him. "I mean- that's what its all about- dying for something greater than yourself- dying to protect people you love…"

He nodded trying to push away his earlier grief that was threatening to come back again.

"Oh…Remus." Tonks gasped. He looked up to see her turn back to face him- her eyes brimming with tears. In a second- they were in each other's arms- holding onto each other as if they were the other's only refuge from the overwhelming grief that was crashing down upon them.

"It's not fair…" Tonks said with a shuddering breath. "It's not fair…"


	12. Three Good Reasons

_Author's note: This is actually where it all began. I was intending this chapter (v. different now thanks to numerous rewrites) to be a oneshot- but nooooo, two summers later and I have 20+ chapters…with a plotline from hell. _

* * *

**Chapter Twelve- Three Good Reasons**

"So how about it Nymphadora?"

"My name is Tonks!" snarled the young woman. "And the answer is still, as it has and always will be- no Hain, now bugger off."

Hain chuckled to himself as he watched her move a pile of parchment off to the side of her desk. His chuckle only managed to infuriate Tonks even more.

"Well Tonks-" Hain said. "I think you ought to reconsider. What else have you got to do this weekend? Nothing I bet as exciting as visiting my family's estate. We have our own lake and grounds you know...looks fabulous at this time of year."

Tonks ignored him and instead dipped her quill in her ink bottle to redo yet another draft of the essay that was due tomorrow. Work had piled up considerably with the Ministry admitting Voldemort's return. She was so sick of Hain constantly hitting on her and she hoped that by ignoring him he would pick up on the hint.

Either he was thicker than she had supposed or he did not give up so easily. "You know Tonks," he said while crossing around her desk and standing close behind her seat. "I like a woman who plays hard-to-get, it makes things more interesting." He leaned over her and bent unnaturally close to her face- as if he were trying to read what she was writing from over her shoulder, but his line of vision was more directed to down the front of her shirt rather than her paper.

Tonks threw down her quill and spun around in her seat angrily, forcing Hain to take a step back. "I think that there's something really important that you need to know Hain."

Hain gave her his all too familiar, 'Demi-god-I'm-too-sexy-smile'. His teeth were white enough to belong in a muggle toothpaste commercial. He could have easily given Gilderoy Lockheart a run for his money. "And that would be?" he asked.

Tonks stared at him straight in the face and said in a deadly, undisputedly serious voice, "I prefer jobless, middle-aging werewolves."

A moment later as Hain hurried away from her cubicle with a shocked expression on his face, Tonks picked up her quill to continue working- not feeling triumphant at all- instead hot, itchy tears were welling up in her eyes. Ever since they had sent Harry off with his muggle relatives at the train station, Remus had been more distant then ever, hardly ever speaking to her and finding every excuse imaginable to avoid her. She could not understand why, and this time- there was no Sirius to help her figure out the enigma and mindset of Remus Lupin. She blinked away the tears and felt them start to slide down her face and fall onto the paper, leaving two wet inky blotches on her essay.

_Yes I prefer jobless, middle-aging werewolves…but I don't know if they prefer me. _She thought as more tears started to fall.

Meanwhile her shocking, bubble-gum pink hair- unknowingly to her- faded a little to a light pastel pink as she put her head down on her desk and cried.

* * *

Bang! Bang! Bang! 

Tonks stood outside the small, battered door, her face composed, her eyes dry now. She raised her fist and knocked again.

Bang! Bang! Ba-

The door suddenly swung open and a startled, disheveled looking Remus Lupin stood in the doorway.

"Tonks! What's going on? Has something happened in the Order?"

Tonks took a deep breath. "No, nothing is wrong with the Order. Everyone's fine."

Remus sighed but looked only slightly relieved.

"We need to talk." Tonks said sternly.

He seemed to have expected it. "Alright then." He said quietly, standing aside so that she could walk in the small dismal flat he was renting for the time.

She had never been to Remus's place before. She walked in, noticing how small and depressing the miserable place was. It was almost as bad as 12 Grimmauld Place. Just as cold on the inside as on the outside too. Remus shut the door gently behind her.

On the small wooden table was his battered, open suitcase that looked as if it were in the process of being packed.

"Going somewhere?" she asked him.

"Yes, actually."

She had expected him to deny it. "What?" she stuttered. "Where?"

He didn't answer her as he put a bunch of neatly folded socks into the suitcase.

"Were you going to tell me you were leaving?"

He said nothing.

Her eyes widened. "Were you?"

Remus sighed heavily and looked up at her, "Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked her politely.

"No…I'm fine." Tonks said. "But we need to talk. Now, and about a lot of different things. You've been avoiding me lately."

He didn't say anything to deny it.

"What's wrong?"

"Tonks…"

_Just say it…just say it. _

Remus stood by his suitcase, looking nervous.

"Remus," she began bluntly. "I love you."

She would never forget the raging silence that followed her words.

"Tonks…" he said slowly.

"I do!" Tonks said angrily. "I really do, and I want to know right now if you love me back or not!"

The second silence was infinitely worse than the first one.

Remus's head dropped forward as he stared at the floor as if was suddenly the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

_He doesn't love me…he doesn't love me…why am I such a damned idiot? Why did I waltzing in here when I know he doesn't any more. _

"Tonks…" Remus said gently, raising his head to look her in the eye. "I love you."

Tonks almost passed out from relief. "Then why is it so hard to say?"

Remus began pacing the floor. "Because even though we both love each other, nothing can come of it."

She stared at him in shock. "What are you talking about?"

He stopped short. "I'm nearly twice your age, I have not job or money and I'm-"

"So?" interrupted Tonks.

"It would never work between us."

"How can you say that when you haven't even-" she began furiously but he held up a hand cutting her off.

"Tonks, there are plenty of other young men out there and even though things right now might not seem that way and are tough, I can assure you that there are."

"Remus, I don't want anybody else."

He shook his head sadly. "You deserve so much more, someone young and who could support you…not some old, half-ruined wizard whose life is practically over."

"How can you say that?" she said heatedly. "How old do you think you are anyways? Now if you were Mad-Eye's age, then I might be able to understand you saying that you were too old-"

"Tonks, please." He said as he walked over to the other side of the room where a small kitchen was placed against the wall.

"Come'on Remus-" Tonks demanded as she followed him. "Give me thr-" But suddenly she tripped over one of his shoes that was laying on the floor and fell. "Ow." She muttered as she lay on the ground feeling extremely stupid.

He came over and took hold of her arms, just as he had done before so many times and helped her up. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." She said breathlessly. "Alright, give me three good reasons why it wouldn't work between us."

He sighed again and hesitated for a moment, brow furrowed.

"As I said earlier, I'm too old for you. There are other…younger men out there that would be far better suited."

"How old do you think I am Remus?" she demanded. "I'm not a naïve second year that's just had their first crush. I've dated other men! I don't LOVE any other men. I love you!"

"I'm also very poor. I have no money, no job-"

"Stop being such a negative, despairing twit. I'm an auror, Remus-"

"But I couldn't support you."

"Who the hell said you had to? This is the twentieth century Remus, it doesn't mean that the man had to support the woman anymore- besides, chivalry is only so-"

"But if we were to marry or end up living together that would mean you would have to work to support the both of us and that wouldn't be fair." He said sadly.

_MARRIED!_ Tonks thought, eyes wide-swaying on the spot. _LIVING TOGHETHER! __He does love me! He wouldn't bring up something as important as marriage without giving it some serious consideration. _She realized Remus was saying something and Tonks forced herself to listen to what he was saying.

"-I couldn't bear the thought of you working so hard."

"I like work." Tonks said stubbornly. "Alright, not every bit of it. But I enjoy it for the most part and it keeps me busy."

He took a deep breath as if preparing himself to jump off a cliff.

"And thirdly…I'm a werewolf."

She frowned. "I know that."

"Then you'll understand why it's another reason of why it wouldn't work."

"Not really, how about you enlighten me?"

"By definition Tonks, I'm a monster. I could or kill you if I transform."

"Well then, we won't go out to dinner on full moons."

"It's not a laughing matter."

"I never said it was."

"And besides, intolerance and prejudice of my kind would rub off on you and people might not want to associate themselves with you anymore. You might loose friends."

"I don't care what people think."

"You say that now!' he said bitterly.

She felt the blood drain from her face. "Are you saying that I'd go back on my word?" she asked coldly.

"I'm not saying that!" he said hurriedly.

"Then what the bloody hell are you saying?"

Remus's shoulders sagged and he suddenly looked very, very tired and much older than he usually did. "I'm just saying," he said quietly. "That it's a very hard and difficult life and you should never have to suffer for it by being with me."

Tonks threw her hands up into the air with exasperation. "What do you think love is all about Remus?!? It's all about accepting each other on the good days and the bad ones! I'm willing to that!" she stopped suddenly, realizing that she had been shouting. She stared at him, breathing hard.

_Damn him. Damn him for his insufferable "noble" ideas and morals, his gentlemanly conduct and most especially his overwhelming sexiness! _

"Nymphadora-" he said gently and took a step toward her, but she backed away angrily.

"My name is-!" but she had backed up too far, right into the edge of the ripped and faded piece of furniture that might have once been called a sofa. She fell backwards over it and there was a sudden pain as her head thudded into the wall.

Stars were winking beneath her eyes as she lay there in a crumpled heap squeezed between the side of the sofa and the wall. Then she remembered what she had been trying to say.

"-TONKS!" she finished loudly, shaking her head trying to get rid of the dizziness. "My name is Tonks you bloody prat!"

But he didn't seem to be listening to her. He was kneeling beside her, eyes wide. "Dear god!" he exclaimed. "You could have given yourself a concussion with that fall."

Tonks wished that she had so that he'd feel even worse. She stood up, ignoring his helping hand. The room was spinning slightly and she still felt very dizzy. "You won't even try!" she exclaimed. "You just have three lousy reasons!"

"Their very valid reasons."

"Whatever happened to all that 'normal stuff'?"

He frowned. "What normal stuff?"

"If you or me wanted to do things that any normal human does or wants to do-" There should be nothing holding us back…including our own insecurities."

He looked surprised. "You remembered."

"Of course I did. Now tell me, why are you so afraid?"

Remus suddenly looked very tense. "I'm not afraid." He said stiffly. "I'm concerned. I'm worried for you Tonks!"

"Worried for me?" she shouted. "What about you? How do you think I feel? Sirius died and you didn't even shed a tear! You haven't raged or ranted. You've just kept it all inside and bottled it up as you kept going. And the night he died, I thought that we finally had an understanding between us and were going to at least try!"

"Things have changed."

"Changed?" she shrieked looking slightly mad in her fury. She probably looked as crazy as Aunt Bellatrix. "How the hell have they changed?"

He opened his mouth again but shut it before waiting a few seconds to beg, "Tonks please, just try to understand. If nothing else we are friends and I couldn't stand to see you hurt."

She saw it. Just for a flash before it vanished behind those warm brown eyes.

Fear.

"Remus." She said quietly. "What's going on?"

He turned away and walked to the kitchen again, inspecting the small counter as if was suddenly covered in grime.

"Nothing is going on. I just want you to understand."

"I'm an auror Remus, I'm not stupid. You're hiding something."

He looked up at her, holding her eyes with a sharp, penetrating gaze. "Why can't you just understand that it's dangerous for us to get together?" he asked hoarsely. "I can't do it Tonks. I can't. I care about you too much. I've lost everybody I ever tried to hold on to. Every single person that I have tried to keep safe and close to me I only lost in the end."

She felt a pang of pity stab at her heart. "But pushing me away won't help, not now. Not when you need it the most."

He shook his head. "I won't do it. We can't do this. I understand that its painful and it will hurt us both but it will be better in the end."

She stared at him in numb shock. "So that's it then?" she said through numb limbs.

"That's it."

She shook her head. "No."

"Tonks-"

"No!" she said more fiercely. "Your afraid Remus Lupin, but I'm not! You may have given up, but I haven't! I won't let you do this!"

He crossed over to her in a flash and grabbed onto her shoulders tightly. "You have to." He said quietly. "Please. For me."

"No. I won't."

She watched the blood drain from his already pale face. "Tonks," he croaked. "I'm taking on the mission. I'm going to be working as a spy for the Order amongst a pack of werewolves I've been tracking for some time."

Her mouth dropped. She couldn't help it. She could only stare at him in numb disbelief.

"What?" she whispered.

He slowly nodded.

"WHAT?" she said again, more loudly.

"Tonks, please-"

She tore away from him. "What do you mean 'you're taking the mission'? Are you SUICIDAL?!?!"

"Listen to me-"

"No!" she said loudly. "I won't let you do it! You CAN'T do it! Dumbledore will talk to you-"

"Dumbledore agreed to it when I asked him to let me go."

Her eyes widened. "YOU asked him to let you go?"

"Yes."

"You ARE suicidal!" she cried. "Even Dumbledore gave up the idea of spying on Fenrir's pack ages ago!"

"I think I have a plan."

"You're lying! You're mad!" She stared at him and another block fell into place. "This is about Sirius, isn't it? This is what happened! You won't break down like any other normal person, you go and take up pointless, and perilous missions that will end costing you your life-"

"We need a spy amongst the pack. We've needed one for a while." Remus said sternly. "It would only be reasonable that it be me. I've put it off long enough."

"Donning the robe of a martyr now are we?" Tonks snapped. "How do you think I'll feel if you get killed?"  
"How do you think I'd feel if Fenrir Greyback suspects me and decides to strike you? The pack has no qualms about killing friends of people they consider untrustworthy. If they find out about is, they would hunt you down-" his voice cracked with emotion at the end. He stopped for a moment, breathing deeply. When he continued, his voice was quite steady again. "The innocents are always taken down first. The ones that had nothing to do with anything. Do not ask me to keep going on knowing that you are in danger of being bitten."

She simply stared at him, lost for words.

"Please…it has to end here and now, for both our sakes."

She took a step backwards and when she spoke she was surprised by how calm her voice was despite its icy coldness, "I wish you had told me you were going to say this a few weeks ago Remus. I could've asked the healers to rip out my heart then so that you wouldn't have to now."

And before he could say another word, she turned on her heel and ran to the door, threw it open with a loud bang and ran out into the dark, windy night.

* * *

_Author's note: Well crap that was depressing. Here's the deal my lovelies- I am now obviously not going to have this up before 'Deathly Hallows' which is what I was hoping to accomplish. This chapter marks the middle point of this story; the next part of this tale will take place during Half-Blood Prince. I've written most of it, but I want it to be good so I'm going to wait and post the next bunch of chapters when I get back since I have to leave on holiday this upcoming Tuesday.. Unfortunately, the date I'm coming back home is… (author ducks behind bullet-proof wall for safety) in late August. __No, I'm not kidding. No one is more depressed about it than I am. If I didn't have to leave so soon, I would have time to get it all up before July- but no luck._

_So…I beg you all to just check back in August or alarm my story or whatever so that you know when the next chapter has arrived. And don't worry. I'm not just going to abandon the story. It has to be finished by this summer or else I will not be able to start my next great work with a sane mind. _

_Thank you for everyone who reviewed, and again I am very sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you all have a terrific summer month full of Harry Potter and be sure to come back and keep reading the rest of this story when I post the next chapter. _


	13. Bitter Chocolate

_Author's note: __Ironically, a large, pale full moon is hanging outside my window- and having recently come back from my travels but now suffering from some weird skin disease on my hands, I'm here to tell you all I haven't vanished off the face of the earth. __I came home and was BLOWN AWAY by all the amount of people that were kind enough to alert/review my story while I was gone. Thank you so much. It meant a lot to me. Oh, and __I'm still DEVASATED over Deathly Hallows. I am now involved in a period of strict mourning for the many losses. :)_

_Anyways, I plough on…Because of all your patience and delightful encouragements I'm pleased to announce that I'm going to keep writing this story, and yes, not only am I just writing from the time of HBP, but I'm writing a part III to this tale because honestly, did you really think I could let DH just slide by and not bring it in at all?!??! _

_So here's the next chapter, pointless kinda, (a bitch to write for me actually) but gets us back into the story and stuff…After such a long break from writing, I feel that this stupid chapter is necessary to get back into the swing of things._

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_**PART II**_

_**STAY**_

**Chapter Thirteen- Bitter Chocolate**

'How did this happen?

How did we come to this?

What started as a look-

Ended up with a kiss.'

Tonks snapped the radio knob off. It seemed the whole world was happy and in love…

Everyone that was, except her.

After dramatically leaving Remus Lupin's humble abode she managed to apparate home, and after shutting the door behind her burst into hysterical tears. How long she lay there crying on the floor- she didn't know. After what seemed like hours though, she managed to get enough control over herself in order to change into her pink flannel pajamas and her warm fuzzy slippers. She turned on the radio then, and had gone to the kitchen for some comfort food. Halfway through her snack of an enormous Honeydukes bar of chocolate she remembered how much Remus had loved chocolate…how every so often his warm breath would smell of it whenever they stood close….

She ended up throwing all of the chocolate in her kitchen into the trash with utter vengeance.

Though now as she sat on her couch with a plate of vanilla cookies, snuggled in her giant blanket, she wished she hadn't thrown them away. Vanilla just wasn't the same as chocolate sometimes.

Tonks grabbed another tissue from the box she had next to her as another wave of tears started anew.

_Why won't he even try?!?! HE WONT EVEN TRY_! She thought angrily. _He's pushing me away? Why?_

_Because he's stupid. _

_Well fine. Because I give up! This is the longest I've ever waited for a bloke to come round and it all comes down to this._

_What a bastard. He can't care about me that much or he wouldn't have broken my heart…on purpose. _

_He broke it off to break my heart. _

_I hope he's murdered._

_No, I don't. But that's what he wants…not a relationship._

_I could kill him…all that waiting- for this. What a coward. _

_Well no, he's not generally. But when it comes to love he's the biggest coward I've ever met _

_Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. _

She stared blankly at the opposing wall before reaching for another cookie.

_I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM! _She thought angrily. But she knew that she didn't. She couldn't. She loved him too much to hate him. Despite his stupid chivalry that she loathed and adored so much, she loved him.

Remus obviously read too many fairy tales when he was younger- Did he really think that he was being noble and chivalrous to break the damsels heart as he left her safely behind whilst going on a perilous quest?

Remus Lupin…dangerous. Ha. The sweetest man in the world thought he was dangerous-

Alright so he was to a degree. She wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't. She wasn't entirely all fine and dandy with the fact that the man she loved turned into a murderous beast once a month. A beast that upon seeing her would tear the flesh right off her limbs in long bloody strips-

_But I'm willing to accept him anyways and take the chances. _

_And what does he do? He runs away from me. _

_Stupid git. _

She frowned and reached for another tissue only to realize that she had run out. After stepping over the large pile of used tissues on the floor, she waddled off to the bathroom wrapped in her huge blanket to go get another box. On her way out of the bathroom however she stopped abruptly as she caught her reflection in the mirror.

Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose runny, she looked like an utter mess. Her hair had somehow morphed back into its normal, mousy brown. She frowned at the sight of it before closing her eyes to change it back to its short, spiky pink.

She opened her eyes and received a terrible shock.

Her hair was rapidly changing from a pale pink to a mousy brown.

_What the-?_

She tried again, this time it didn't turn pink at all, it just stayed brown.

_Oh defiantly, not good._

This only happened when she was sick or a Hogwarts adolescent that for years couldn't control her daily appearance. What was going on?

She tried again and again…then she tried to change her nose shape, her eyebrows, nothing was working.

She burst into tears again. Now on top of the whole 'Remus problem' was a shape-shifting one. Sweet Merlin, would the misery never end? She grabbed the box of tissues and ran back into the living room to sob into the sofa again.

Then slowly, even though she didn't want to, she began thinking about Remus. About his rare smile. That smile that was the first indication to her that he was special. The way his grey-streaked hair fell into his eyes, his pale, slightly scar covered hands…

She threw one of the couch pillows across the room.

Knowing Remus, the damn man was probably listening to that depressing opera crap he loved so much.

Tonks stuffed another cookie into her mouth, a, tornado of profanity about or concerning Remus Lupin, spinning wildly in her head.

He was going to find a pack of London werewolves…he was going to try and infiltrate a pack of werewolves and spy on them while supposedly convincing the few that would listen that joining forces with Voldemort was not a good idea.

_Good luck on that you bastard. _She thought viciously. _Go ahead! Get yourself killed- see if I care…_

But the very thought of Remus in danger caused tears to well to her eyes. He was going to get himself killed over this pointless mission, all because he had a likely cause of survivors guilt in her opinion after Sirius's death-

She suddenly thought about Sirius. How he never had gotten to tell her what her special something was as a girl. The one he was explaining about at Christmas, the one that "every girl had".

Knowing the drunk bastard, he probably couldn't have thought of one for her at the time, but if he had- she was still curious to know it was. And now she'd never know.

Because he had to die, and leave her with the stupid enigma of a man that she was madly in love with.

_If Sirius hadn't died, I __know__ none of this would have happened. Damn survivors guilt. _

_Damn Sirius for dying when he did. _

_Okay no, damn my crazy Aunt who killed him, since she follows You-Know-Who…_

_Damn Voldemort…__He__ ruined my chances of spending the rest of my life with a sexy werewolf._

Remus's pale, frightened face came swimming to mind, a look of anguish in his eyes as he tried to push her away. He didn't want to be with her anymore…

She would forget him, she had to forget him…

To her surprise, she realized that as she had been thinking, she had also been gently fingering the necklace of the little bird she still wore around her neck; the one Remus had given her for Christmas. It seemed like ages ago. A different lifetime almost…

To forget him and move on…that's what he wanted afterall.

But could she?

* * *

Remus Lupin stood there in his small one room flat, feeling worse than he ever had in his entire life. 

This was saying a lot. He had never had an easy life. It included countless and painful werewolf transformations, living in extreme poverty, attending too many funerals of his family and friends…

But this was far, far worse.

_Come'on pull yourself together. Be a man about this._ He sharply told himself. Out of habit, if nothing else he went over to the kitchen to find his tea kettle. His hands were shaking, as he tapped the tea kettle with his wand and took down a clean mug from one of the shelves.

_Nymphadora…_The memory of her face when she said she loved him would torture him for the rest of his life. It would have been much less painful for him had his heart been ripped out of his chest, sliced into a million pieces and burned to ashes.

He leaned against the kitchen wall and allowed himself to sink to the floor.

He was going to regret this for the rest of his miserable life and he knew it. He had let his last chance at happiness run out his door without even trying to stop her. How could he? He had destroyed his happiness to save someone else's.

_Because you're keeping her safe. Your problems should not be hers, now or ever. That's why you let her go, because as hard as it was, she'll be much happier in the end for it. She'll never have to experience all the things she'd have to if she was with you. You want her to be happy…don't you?_

Of course he did. Whenever he saw Tonks's twinkling eyes or cheerful grin, he seemed to forget everything that had been weighing heavily on his mind at that time. All his thoughts would fall on her, trying to tease her a bit to see her exasperated smile, to see her laugh…to just look at her twinkling, thoughtful dark eyes-

He loved her. No, not loved her, but passionately, obsessively and wildly loved her. It had taken him a good while to realize this of course, and he could have done without the help of his old friend on that, but when he had precisely and actually fallen in love with her, he couldn't say.

Of course, he could have come to his senses earlier, if he hadn't tried to push his own feelings away, he could have had more time perhaps-

No. It was impossible to start thinking such dangerous thoughts.

_She has to stay safe…she'll be better off without me. She'll be in danger otherwise. And I want her to be happy and safe…even…_

_Even if it means I'll never be in her life like I was again. _

_What do you do when someone is so irresistible and yet you want to pull away from them so terribly? Is that even possible?_

The tea was ready. Remus stared at it for a moment before standing up and pouring it into the cracked and chipped mug.

_You're an idiot Remus Lupin. An absolute idiot. _Pick the best time to fall in love, when half his life was over and they were facing a second, much more dangerous war with Voldemort… and he decides to fall in love.

And dear god, of all people to fall in love with he had to fall in love with the most beautiful, the funniest, the bravest, stubborn-

_Stop it._ He reprimanded himself.

Sirius would probably be throttling him right now.

He thought momentarily of his friend's recent death and for a moment, all his thoughts were suspended as he fought off the still very raw grief.

_I'm doing the right thing. I know I am…_

He thought of Tonks and wondered what she was doing. She was probably crying- he had seen her eyes starting to well up with tears before she tore out of his home. He had expected her to start crying then and there when he told her at last what he was doing, but he also knew she was the most stubborn and surprising person he would ever meet in his lifetime.

He imagined her crying now, probably at her place- where no one would see her, filled with pain, wounded pride and frustration-

He slammed a fist that he had not been aware of making against a wooden cupboard and let out a loud and uncharacteristically foul curse word.

The pain in his hand was nothing to him as he angrily paced the kitchen. He was so close now to running out after her, swooping her up in his arms and never letting go of her again…

No. He had to think realistically. He had a job to do. Promises to keep, duties to fulfill…

He looked at his open suitcase. He was nearly done packing. He was going to leave all of his few belongings at Kingsley's.

Slowly, he walked over to his suitcase and looked inside. Everything in his life was right there- all his books, his clothing, odd memorabilia-

The box.

He ran a hand along the carved wooden top of it. It had been his mother's originally, but he had had it forever. There was a keyhole, but no key. It was a spoken password, he was very confident now as he had changed the password recently, that no one would ever get inside it. He trusted Kingsley of course, and highly doubted the man would go through his possessions, but still if anything was to happen to him, he'd rather just have the small box remain locked to the rest of the world.

Remus couldn't deny that he was frightened of his upcoming assignment. The thought of what he was going to do any day now, sent his heart rate racing wildly and caused his breathing to become terribly restricted. And yet, despite his many fears and worries, he remained just the tinniest bit, (almost unbelievably in fact)- excited.

He had no idea why. Perhaps it was the long forgotten taste of adventure or rebellion, or perhaps the knowledge that he would be doing something enormously beneficial in this war that made him feel oddly giddy with anticipation and yet sick to his stomach at the same time-

There were far more concerns and troubles that were weighing on his mind about the mission, but the odd feeling was there none the less. He tried pushing the strange feeling away whenever he felt it arise, but to no avail.

With a sigh, he looked everything over in his packed suitcase again before he snapped the lid shut, feeling thoughtful-

He was feeling the same way about his mission as he was about having a relationship with Tonks. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

She was gone. She was gone forever from his life and no matter how much it hurt him, and her…it was for the best.


	14. Advice at the Burrow

_Author's note- Sooooo, I do have a life outside of fanfiction. :D Sry I'm slow at updating chapters and such- HBP is going to be a bitch to right cuz its so freakin depressing. I'm writing and rewriting a lot of things in this story and I'm back at school and stuff, so sorry about the wait on all this but don't worry…IT WILL GET DONE!_

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen-Advice at the Burrow**

"-far too peaky and pale-"

"I'm fine Molly!" Tonks exclaimed trying to wrench back her cloak.

"-with lines under your eyes, and looking so-"

"I just had to drop off a few things for the Order! I don't want to be a bother and get in your way; I was just on my way out-"

"-a nice cup of hot tea will do wonders I think."

Tonks finally let go of her cloak with a loud sigh and Molly hung it up on one of the pegs, smiling at her.

Trying to argue with Mrs. Weasley was like trying to playing chess with her son Ron. You could never win.

"Sit down dear."

Tonks obediently sat down in one of the chairs and ran a hand through her still mousy brown hair which despite her constant efforts these days remained lank and drab.

"I'm sure you're so tied up with Order work these days that you haven't had much of a chance to relax." Mrs. Weasley said warmly. "And I've been meaning to talk to you."

_Ah. _

Tonks watched as Mrs. Weasley went about through her cupboards, pulling out all sorts of various cans and bags.

"How about a biscuit?"

"Sure."

Mrs. Weasley poured nearly the entire contents of the tin onto a plate which she placed in front of Tonks.

Tonks reluctantly took one and nibbled at it as Mrs. Weasley smoothed her old green dressing gown she was wearing and sat down across from her.

"Bill told me you your not quite yourself these days." said the red-headed woman. "Kingsley and Mad-Eye seem a little worried too."

_Shit. I'm not my usual chipper self for a few days and Mad-Eye is probably spreading the idea that I'm Imperiused or something. Great…just great. _

Mrs. Weasley was looking expectantly at her and Tonks blinked, realizing she had just missed a question. "Sorry, what?"

"I was asking you what's bothering you?"

"Oh. Nothing." Tonks said with as much conviction as she could muster.

Mrs. Weasley raised a skeptical eyebrow as she got up and went about getting the tea ready. "Now Tonks, although I can't say I'm exactly fond of your…certain hair colour that you usually choose to display-"

Tonks started to grin. The first real one in days- "Pink?"

"Yes, exactly…though it's a personal choice in all, I have to say I've become accustomed to seeing it on you and these days…" she looked pointedly at the mess of mousy brown ontop of her head.

Tonks sighed heavily. "I don't know what's going on Molly. I wish I did. Usually when I have trouble morphing its because I'm really sick or something- but even then I could manage a little thing or two."

"So then what's bothering you?"

Tonks shrugged. "I have no idea."

Well that wasn't entirely the case- she wasn't stupid. She was fairly certain that the heart of the problem lay with a certain suicidal man that she was madly in love with. Why though it was still affecting her morphing and her mood despite her valiant efforts to push him mentally away as he had already done with her- she didn't know.

Mrs. Weasley did not admit defeat so easily. "Have another biscuit dear."

Tonks took one as she watched Mrs. Weasley fixed her up a cup of tea. "I really don't want to keep you up Molly-"

"Nonsense."

"No, really. This is insane, I should be getting some work done-"

"Work- work, work! That's all you seem to do these days Tonks! Have you ever thought of settling down at all perhaps?"

Tonks gagged on her biscuit she had just taken a bite out of. "I'm not really the settling down type of girl Molly!"

"Well you never really know."

Mrs. Weasley went about getting a clean mug from the cupboard and Tonks watched her, thinking hard. _Perhaps Molly might actually be able to give me some good advice…I mean...she is the woman with seven children and a husband who are all involved with the Order-_

"Molly?" Tonks said. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course you may." Mrs. Weasley said warmly as she handed Tonks her mug of steaming tea.

Tonks bit her lip, trying to think of how to word the thousands of thoughts and feelings that were flying around helter skelter in her mind. "What do you do, when someone is involved in something dangerous- like Order work for example, and well…you love them and know that they could be killed? Do you let them do it, or do you try to stop them?"

Mrs. Weasley looked at her for a moment with an unreadable expression before she sat down across from Tonks.

"I mean-" Tonks said quickly. "Is it selfish to think something like that when you're apart of the Order? Are they right in telling you it's not really your business and you should move on without them?"

But before Mrs. Weasley could reply to this, there was a sudden noise by the stairs. Tonks turned her head to see a young red-headed girl standing there.

"Tonks!" Ginny exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

_Your Mum is holding me hostage and planning on interrogating me about me miserable love life. _Tonks thought. But instead she simply said, "Your Mum was just making me a cup of tea…why're you up?"

"Needed a glass of water." Ginny said, holding up her empty bedside cup.

Mrs. Weasley stood up, looking thoughtful. "I just remembered," she said suddenly. "I forgot to make up a bed for Harry. He's coming sometime early this morning."

She gave a Ginny a very knowing look to which the red-headed girl rolled her eyes.

"Mum…" she groaned.

Mrs. Weasley's look was one of feigned innocence. "Ginny, what on earth are you-?"

"Mum, we've talked about this already. Just go up and make the bed for him, I'll head up in a minute."

Mrs. Weasley looked disappointed as she left the kitchen and climbed the stairs.

Tonks smiled at the girl sitting across from her. She had gotten to know Ginny very well when the Weasley's were staying at Grimmauld Place for the Order. To Tonks, Ginny was like the little sister she had never had but always wanted.

"So why're you really here?" Ginny asked her.

Tonks grimaced. "I just had to drop something off and then I figured since I wanted advice on something I thought I'd talk to your Mum for a bit."

"What about your own mother?"

Tonks hesitated. "Its not really something I could properly explain to my own Mum."

"Is it something to do with work in the Order?"

"Sorta."

Ginny's brown eyes looked thoughtful. "This isn't about Professor Lupin at all, is it?"

Tonks felt herself immediately start to blush. Had she been THAT obvious to everyone? "No." she said quickly.

Ginny looked honestly surprised. "No?" she repeated. "Then what is it?"

Tonks, try as she might, could not think of a decent lie and as the seconds lengthened, Ginny seemed to have guessed the truth.

"It IS about Professor Lupin!" she said smugly as she folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. "Well what is it? What's going on?"

Tonks bit her lip. "I honestly don't know anymore. I thought he loved me for awhile, but now…I'm not so sure."

"That's ridiculous." Ginny said firmly. "You're smart, and brave, and funny-what's not to like?"

"It isn't that." Tonks explained, she was touched by the teenager's kind words. "He's afraid he'll mess up my life if he gets together with me or I'll get hurt because of the work he's doing now for the Order."

Ginny frowned. "That's absurd. Surely someone as smart as Professor Lupin would realize that?"

"You'd think." Tonks said gloomily as she took a sip of her tea.

"He'll wise up." Ginny reassured her. "I know he will."

"Thanks." She said with a sad smile. "I guess that's the best I can hope for at this point."

Ginny gave her a bracing smile in return. "He will." She said. "You two will be together in no time at all-"

"The day me and Remus officially get together will be when you and Harry have been an item for sometime." Tonks snorted.

Ginny's face quickly turned crimson. "Well if you put it like that." She mumbled.

"It'll happen." Tonks said. "You and Harry I mean."

Ginny shot her a skeptical look.

"It will."

"Well I don't care anymore." said Ginny in a false imitation of loftiness. "Besides, I'm already with another boy…Dean."

"Still dosen't mean that you don't fancy someone else though."

The red-headed girl looked miserable now. "I do care about Dean though…very much."

"Of course you do!" Tonks said warmly. "But it's okay to keep an eye out on someone else. You're still following Hermione's advice, right?"

Hermione's suggestion of having Ginny act more like herself around Harry and going out with other boys to branch out a bit, Tonks had heard late one night at Grimmauld Place when all three girls were talking about boys. Hermione had apparently bestowed this wisdom upon Ginny awhile ago, but was reassuring her it was a good plan when the red-haired girl began expressing doubt.

Ginny nodded.

"Well that's the best advice I think you'll get." Tonks said. "Just because you may have found the right person for you in your life doesn't mean you have to put the rest of your world on hold for them. Boys don't pick up on subtle hints. I discovered a long time ago that in order to get the point across you have to full out snog them in public-"

"-or grab the front of their robes and shake some sense into them?" Ginny suggested.

The both laughed at their dramatic, rather absurd suggestions.

"It's true though." Tonks said. "Boys don't get it."

Ginny sighed heavily as she got up and went to fill her cup with water in the sink.

"What about Bill?" she asked suddenly.

Tonks who was halfway through a sip of tea, started chocking. "What about him?" she gasped.

Ginny turned to Tonks. "You know…" she said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "Maybe?"

"No." Tonks said firmly.

"But you just said that you don't have to put the rest of your world on hold for someone, even if you think 'their right person'."

Tonks shook her head. "Bill is more like a brother to me than anything else Ginny. Besides he's already with Fanny...engaged I believe."

"Fleur." Ginny corrected her as she mimed vomiting into the sink. "Also known as 'Phlegm'."

Tonks chuckled. "Right. So that's right out."

"But maybe if you came round more often?" Ginny asked hopefully.

She shook her head. "I'm already going for a drink with Bill next week-"

Ginny perked up at this.

"-with a few friends so that I can meet Fa-I mean- Fleur."

Ginny looked disappointed.

At that moment Mrs. Weasley decided to reappear.

"Are you going out with Bill next week?" she asked Tonks, not even bothering to pretend she hadn't been listening to the last bit of their conversation.

"Yes, with a few friends so I can meet, Fleur."

Mrs. Weasley let out a loud sniff. Tonks smiled.

"Well I know Bill will be glad to see you again." Mrs. Weasley said forcefully. "He really does care about you so much you know."

Tonks wondered if Bill had even mentioned her name in the past week. Probably not.

"That's…really nice of him. I care about him too, you know- with the Order and-"

"Of course you do!" Mrs. Weasley beamed.

"-in a good friends sort of way!" Tonks added hurriedly.

Mrs. Weasley nodded and tapped her nose in a knowing sort of way.

Tonks resisted the urge to bang her head against the table.

"Well, night Mum." Ginny said as she kissed her mother goodnight. "Night Tonks."

"Night Ginny."

And in a flash of red hair- Ginny was gone back upstairs, leaving Tonks to the mercy of the 'Mrs. Weasley Inquisition'.

An awkward silence filled the small, cramped kitchen.

Tonks took another sip from her mug.

Mrs. Weasley couldn't seem to wait as patiently as her, "Well… what about Bill, Tonks?"

She forced herself not to wince. "Molly…" she said slowly. "I really don't think me and Bill will be anything more than friends at this point."

"Is there someone else for you then?"

"I…" she began and then trailed off. " I really don't know."

Mrs. Weasley sighed and reached across the table to pat Tonks's hand in a sympathetic sort of way. "Poor dear…this is all about Remus, isn't it?"

She must have had a sign post on her back or something- a big giant neon sign over her head for the past few months declaring her love for the stupid werewolf in question, this was INSANE.

"How, how- on earth did you know?"

"Tonks, don't be ridiculous- everyone saw it."

"How?!?!"

Mrs. Weasley merely shrugged. "When two people are in love with eachother, its always painfully obvious to everyone else who is watching."

"When one person is in love with someone else you mean." Tonks said gloomily. "I don't think he really loves me."

"But of COURSE he does!" For someone who seconds ago had been scheming to get her together with her oldest son- Mrs. Weasley was remarkably quick at changing gears. "You only have to see that look in his eyes to know that he truly loves you."

"If he loved me he wouldn't purposely break my heart."

"He probably felt he was doing it to protect you."

Tonks scowled. "I don't NEED protection. I'm not a little girl!"

"I know that." Mrs. Weasley smiled. "But sometimes when people think their helping a situation their actually making it worse for others."

Tonks let out a half-indistinguishable noise of scathing disgust. "He should have thought that through before he went ahead with his dumb plan."

"Well I'm not saying what he did was very wise, but I'm sure he had your best interests at heart."

Tonks stared gloomily into her mug of tea.

"He's not leaving right away though, is he?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "From what I heard, Dumbledore wasn't sending him off for the next week or two-"

Tonks's head shot up at this news. "He's staying for a little while?"

"Yes, so perhaps if you talked to him-"

"Forget it." Tonks said quickly. "He didn't tell me he was staying longer…he's already made his decision, so I'm making mine."

"I'm sure if you just told him-"

Tonks shook her head furiously. "His mind's already made up. I'm not going to make any effort in changing it."

"Dear, I'm sure he'd want to talk to you again before he left."

Tonks could think of nothing to say to this, so she stared at her teamug.

"Tonks?"

She looked up from her mug, into Mrs. Weasley's concerned face and sighed quietly. "I'm tired of chasing after him Molly. I don't think there's anything else I can do now."

"Perhaps if you were just to-"

Mrs. Weasley stopped sharply right in mid-sentence staring at the door. Tonks had heard it too, a brisk knocking. Mrs. Weasley leapt to her feet and ran to the door, her hand tight on the knob- Tonks already had her wand drawn and pointing at the door.

"Who's there? Declare yourself!" Mrs. Weasley said nervously.

A calm, familiar voice from behind the door came through to them, "It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry."

Mrs. Weasley flung open the door and Tonks pocketed her wand as she saw it was indeed the old bearded wizard with the dark haired boy.

"Harry dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning!"

"We were lucky." Dumbledore said, striding into the Burrow after Harry. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing of course." His light blue eyes fell upon her at last. "Ah, hello, Nymphadora!'

Tonks forced herself to sound as cheerful as she could. "Hello, Professor... Wotcher, Harry."

"Hi Tonks."

She noticed Harry was looking at her curiously but it was Dumbledore's piercing gaze that caused her to start. The man seemed to look right through her and know exactly what was going on- and the last thing she wanted was Albus Dumbledore to get involved as well in giving her advice for her dismal relationship with Remus bloody Lupin.

"I'd better be off." She said quickly. She stood up and went for her cloak. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

Mrs. Weasley looked worried at her words but before she could say anything, Dumbledore spoke up. "Please don't leave on my account. I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."

"No, no, I need to get going." Tonks said avoiding those piecing blue eyes of that she could still feel on her. She was slightly afraid of the illogical idea that if she looked into them long enough he would know exactly what was going on and what she was thinking. "Night-"

"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming--?"

_Thank you Molly Weasley for making it painfully obvious to the newly assembled just what it was we were talking about._ "No, really Molly…thanks anyway…" Tonks said as airily as she could manage. "Good night, everyone."

And having donned her cloak at last she hurried past a troubled Mrs. Weasley, a bewildered Harry and a pensive looking Albus Dumbledore into the front yard.

With a turn of her heel she apparated away into the darkness.

Damn Dumbledore. She thought angrily. It was all his fault. Damn him for putting the stupid idea into Remus's head about being a spy for the Order-Stupid Remus. Stupid Remus who was staying longer than he had expected and didn't see it as quality time to snog her before he left-

_Albus Dumbledore was an evil man._ Tonks decided firmly.

* * *

_Albus Dumbledore was a good man_. Remus thought. 

He knew for a fact that Dumbledore had given him some light Order work to deal in recent days just so that he would have the chance to visit Harry on his birthday. He had secretly wanted to stay for it, but thought that with his recent declaration to carry on with his mission, he would have to miss it. Dumbledore seemed to have guessed his private thoughts however and so Remus was able to have birthday tea with James and Lily Potter's son. He mentioned nothing of his upcoming mission to Harry of course.

Miraculously, he had managed to avoid Tonks. He was worried he would run into her through the Order at one time or another, but no chance presented itself causing him to feel both reassured and furious.

But now there was no time to think of that. Remus looked about the subway where he had been standing for sometime- it was all empty now except for a tired looking business man and a younger man sitting in the corner with long hair down to his waist beating a large bongo drum.

He took a deep breath. Here he was…going straight into the belly of the beast-

Or rather the jaws of the beast.

Months of trying to find the hidden location of Fenrir's pack had led him to this terrifying moment. He stood there listening to the young man beating the bongo drum which was oddly matching his own furious heartbeat.

He felt so very vulnerable. He did have his wand on him, though he had a terrible feeling that it might be taken from him by the suspicious pack- but going without it was suicidal. With the exception of his wand, he was completely unarmed for walking into a pack of werewolves.

Remus walked purposefully to the edge of the platform and looked down the dark yawning tunnel to his left that had been taped off. A dusty sign hung over the deserted tracks that read 'Out of Order'. He looked back over his shoulder where the muggle businessman was giving him a funny look. Though Remus was wearing his tattered muggle clothes, he had brought his shabby cloak with him and so therefore was still drawing more attention than he would have liked.

And suddenly he heard the noise he had been waiting for that entire night. The weary underground train was pulling up to them at the platform. The muggle businessman stood up quickly and made his way over to the yellow line, waiting impatiently as the bongo drummer continued to bang loudly on his instrument.

The train hissed to a stop and only a young and rather drunk couple got off, laughing hysterically as the businessman got on.

Remus stepped closer to the unused tunnel to the left. He assumed the excuse for its current state was the significant damage it had received from the muggle WWII. Also the station he was in wasn't exactly the busiest platform in the London Underground. There were far bigger things to fix up these days at larger, busier stations. The major repairs that were needed on the deserted track weren't a primary concern for the muggle government which left it perfect for homeless people, wanted thieves, murderers-

Or werewolves.

Within seconds, the train that had pulled up was wearily puffing away from the tracks back to where it came from- It was only him now and the bongo player. Remus eyed the other man warily. The musician was now very absorbed in drinking out of a bottle that was wrapped in a brown paper bag.

_Bugger._ Remus thought. _Well hopefully he won't notice me. _

And he jumped He landed, none too gracefully on the tracks and stood up as he quickly made his way to the deserted tunnel. Upon reaching the mouth of the tunnel he paused only for a moment to take a deep breath.

_This is it… _

An icy draft from the mouth of the tunnel, sent his tattered cloak blowing gently a bit behind him. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and stepped forward.

As he picked his way over the rubbish littered tracks- the light from the station behind him was quickly fading, casting longer and darker shadows over everything in his path. He lit his wand and looked about the orange-rust and graffiti covered walls and the half-caved in ceiling as he continued his path.

It was growing colder, as the tunnel plunged deeper and deeper. It seemed to be taking forever- Every turn ahead of him he was sure would be the last one, until he came to the end of it and saw that there was still another one up far ahead on the tracks. He drew his cloak closer about him as he walked deeper into the darkness, water dripping from the ceiling. He must have looked absurd. Merlin's beard, all he needed was mask and he could be the bloody Phantom of the Opera.

As he walked, he thought of his plan. He would cautiously approach the pack and explain to them that he needed to speak to Fenrir Greyback- hardly any of them would expect him to know who they were so hopefully out of their curiosity he'd be brought to him straightaway where he would undoubtfully be questioned-

A slight frown appeared on his prematurely face. Fenrir Greyback…how on earth he was going to keep a rational head about him, he didn't know. And how on earth he could convince Fenrir he wasn't a spy he had no answer to either. He had spent weeks rehearsing various situations in his head but as he walked down the tunnel, he still felt terribly unprepared for what was lying ahead.

The tunnel turned suddenly and Remus upon walking around the corner saw there was a bit more light here- a flickering half dead emergency light up ahead on one of the walls. He had hardly taken a few steps forward however when he heard a cough far ahead of him on the tracks.

Remus threw himself behind a large mound of bricks and rubbish and extinguished the light from his wand. He crouched there for a moment before cautiously peeking over the top of the mound.

Far ahead, barely distinguishable in the shadows was a filthy looking man who was walking slowly in Remus's direction with an odd, sloping stride. Remus could tell from the shadows on the werewolf's face that he was squinting in the darkness- as if he was looking for something…or someone.

Remus ducked his head behind the mound again, trying to keep his breathing steady-

"Randolph?!?!"

Remus stopped breathing- the snarl echoed around the tunnel walls.

"Who else?" came another voice from the other end of the tunnel.

The speaker of the first voice sounded slightly disoriented when he spoke- "Oh! There you are! Wasn't sure if it was you or not- you came out of the shadows so fast."

A rasping chuckle. "There's more than one way down here Lyall."

"I know that…its just…"

"What?" asked the other voice sharply.

Silence. Remus held his breath again, listening hard.

"Its nothing." said the first.

A pause and then, "I suppose we should hurry, then? Fenrir was expecting us minutes ago-"

He could hear them walking down the tunnel together. Cautiously, he peeked around his hiding place again and saw the silhouettes of two men walking down at the end of the dark tunnel.

He began to follow them- his heart racing with anticipation and fear. It was almost too perfect- follow them right to the pack's hideout- possibly to Fenrir himself-

And suddenly one of the werewolves stopped short in his tracks.

Remus immediately threw himself behind an old rusty pillar, trying to keep his breathing quiet and steady as silence filled the long tunnel. The loudest sound in the place had to be his pounding heart that was banging against his chest as if it were about to explode. He strained his ears, listening intently.

Finally, he could hear footsteps walking away back down the tunnel again. He cautiously poked his head around from his hiding spot and could barely make out the dim silhouette of one of the wild looking men turning a corner.

He walked quickly and quietly to the side exit, listening to the footsteps far ahead of him. He made a careful effort to avoid a large puddle and some overturned rubbish lying in his path.

He reached the end of the tunnel and quietly turned the corner after his query. There was a long narrow side tunnel stretched ahead of him. The walls were dimly lit here but bright enough for Remus to see the dirty, rubbish littered walls and floor. And there- a good ways away from him was the first werewolf walking steadily down the tracks, with his odd, sloping stride.

His heart which had been pounding furiously moments before came to a sudden screeching stop- all of the blood in his veins seemed to have frozen. The other werewolf wasn't there-

Remus never heard the other werewolf come up from right behind him- but he felt the pain burst before his eyes as something heavy hit him from over the top of his head. His last fleeting thought before he fell unconscious to the slimy stone floor was that he'd be lucky if he ever opened his eyes again.

* * *

_Author's note: MUWAHAHAHAHAH! Sry bout the cliffhanger. _


	15. Meeting Fanny

_Author's note: I need to stop pining away after a fictional werewolf…this is really quite unhealthy. _

_Right, here's chapter fifteen- Fleur makes me laugh. I'm putting on chapter sixteen tonight or tomorrow cuz I know I ended the last chapter so meanly. _

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen- Meeting Fanny**

Tonks glanced at her watch again. _Two more minutes perhaps..._

She was going to try and get out early today. She had to actually. Bill had invited her out for a drink to finally meet his fiancé, Fleur. He had invited an old mutual friend of theirs along too so that there would be an even number. She was looking forward to see them. Especially Bill who despite the fact that they were still in the Order, she hadn't seen in awhile.

"I can tell from the way you have your legs up on the desk that you're all but asking for it."

She stiffened. She knew that annoying voice anywhere.

"Hain…" she growled, looking up from her papers.

Sure enough the blonde haired wizard was standing in front of her cubicle, beaming. "Things that bad baby?"

"Don't call me baby." She said. She didn't want to deal with Hain today. She really wasn't in the mood at all these days.

He put on an amused frown. "Now cupcake, I can't call you 'Nymphadora' and I can't call you-"

"I've told you to call me Tonks." She said.

"It's hardly an attractive name." Hain smiled.

She raised an eyebrow. Why was it so different when Hain talked to her about her name like this than it was with Remus? "Who said it had to be attractive? I like it."

"What's with the hair these days? Having problems outside the office?"

She glared. "My social life is really none of your business." _Oh bugger, I hope he dosen't start to get nosy…I mean the Order would probably-_

"You need a man in your life I think."

At least he wasn't thinking it was something else. She wrinkled her nose. "Hain, THAT is none of your business."

"How about leaving with me to go get a drink?"

"Sorry. Too busy." She said, shoving a few things into her bag as she prepared to leave.

"Why not?"

"Because you're a pompous ass and the thought of spending more time with you than I have to makes me physically sick." She retorted.

He came over, standing far too close to her for personal space.

"Get away from me Hain." Tonks said, pushing away from him.

"Not so fast." He said leaning over her. "I have a question."

"I don't feel like hearing it." She said angrily shoving the last of her papers into her briefcase.

"Does this recent attitude of yours have anything to do with that werewolf?"

She froze. The seconds lengthened-

"Piss off Hain." She said, standing up and throwing her briefcase over her shoulder.

"Just a minute-" Hain snarled. "I'm not done with you yet."

"Well I am!" Tonks spat. She pushed past him and began walking quickly from her cubicle- blood thumping in her ears as her anger burned.

"HEY!" Hain bellowed- the entire office was watching them now.

She ignored him and kept walking.

"TONKS!"

_Keep walking- keep walking-_

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and suddenly felt his hand grab her shoulder roughly, "Listen up here cupcake-"

But Tonks's instinctive reaction had kicked in. Months of practicing self-defense with Moody had taught her well-She grabbed the hand on her shoulder and in one lightening fast move- had twisted Hain's arm behind his back and brought him to the floor. There was a collective gasp from the entire office and then utter silence-

Hain had let out a yell of surprise- his arm still held in a painful position by Tonks that rendered him useless- his head was on the floor under her foot.

"Listen up once and for all Hain-" Tonks said loudly. "I am NOT and will never EVER be your 'cupcake'. Do not touch me- do not talk to me, and whatever is going on in my social life- they will NEVER be a concern of yours again." She released him and looked down at him contemptuously.

"Next time-" she decided, "I'm hexing off your balls…if you have any."

And on that note she turned on her heel and strode gracefully away from the groaning, crumpled form of Apollo Hain. For a moment there was absolute silence and then, just as she had reached the door- an explosion of cheering.

She turned. Every single person in there was cheering, applauding or whistling. Tonks couldn't help but grin at them as she raised an arm in acknowledgment and a waving goodbye sort of way. The cheering redoubled and when Tonks walked out the door- she could still hear it as she walked down the hall, a grin on her face a mile wide.

_Thank you Mad-Eye_…

* * *

Tonks made a desperate attempt to make herself look presentable, but had a feeling it just made her look worse in her lousy state. She apparated to the 'The Hag's Haven' feeling slightly apprehensive. 

When she walked in the front door, she spied in the corner a familiar red headed man, a blonde haired woman of such breathtaking beauty she seemed to light up the entire dingy bar, and a brown haired man with a dragon skin jacket that she could tell was Aldwin Idle, a friend of her and Bill's.

"TONKS! THE WOMAN OF THE HOUR!" Aldwin cried out so loudly half the bar fell silent and turned to stare at her.

"Aldwin-" she hissed, as she came up to them.

"She totally TOOK OUT Apollo Hain!" Aldwin said gleefully. "Everybody was talking about it, even down in my office."

Tonks's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah…word spreads fast at the Ministry."

"What happened?" Bill asked. "You'll have to tell us."

Tonks leaned over to give Bill a hug who gave her a warm smile in return. "Mum's told me you've been having trouble with your metamorphosing- are you alright?"

Ugh. The last thing she wanted to talk about was that. "I'm fine Bill, thanks. Coming out tonight was probably a good thing, y'know? Clear my head-"

"Ah! Mademoiselle Tonks!" said a throaty voice. Tonks turned to see the blonde-haired woman smiling at her. "It ez wonderful to meet you at last!" Fleur said cheerfully, pulling her into a gentle hug. "Bill does not talk about you zat much- but I was very curious!"

From the look in Fleur's large blue eyes, Tonks knew that the veela descendant had already sized her up and deemed her not a threat to her relationship with Bill. Tonks felt a twinge of anger- on a good day she could look like Fleur anytime. Indeed, many of the many past boyfriends she had had, preferred her to look like the young woman standing in front of her. Fleur's eyes lingered on her lank brown hair and she smiled, displaying very white, straight teeth.

"Bill and I are engaged!" she said happily.

"Yes, I've heard." Tonks said trying to insert a note of cheerfulness in her voice. "Congratulations."

Fleur kissed Bill on the side of his face. "An' I 'ave come 'ere to meet ez family!"

"Ohhh…" Tonks said, watching as Bill put an arm around Fleur looking rather chuffed.

"Tell Bill what happened today-" Aldwin said. "With Hain-"

So Tonks told Bill and Fleur what had happened earlier with Apollo Hain and by the end of it- Bill was grinning broadly.

"I always thought he was a bit of a git. Well done."

"Why does it not surprise me zat aurors always deal with things so violently?" Fleur said rolling her eyes as she flipped back her mane of long hair.

Tonks went to make a face with Aldwin and realized he was staring at Fleur with a rather glazed, dreamy look on his face.

"Yeah—auror's…right."

Tonks resisted the urge to start gagging with disgust.

"Oy…OY! Aldwin! Tell us about Salieri, isn't he on his way over to the centaur liason office any day now?"

Aldwin snapped out of his trance. "Uhhhh…yeah. Yeah."

As Aldwin was telling the story of Salieri who Tonks was only half interested in hearing about- Tonks ended up watching Aldwin who in a short time was rambling rather incoherently because Fleur very conveniently was leaning over in her chair to take an unnecessarily long time in fixing a strand of Bill's hair.

Soon enough, Bill caught the jist of the situation and stood up-

"How bout some drinks? Me and Aldwin can get some. Fleur?"

"An iced gillywater." She said in her throaty voice.

"Tonks?" Bill asked.

"Something strong that'll put me out of my misery."

Bill grinned at her before dragging Aldwin off to the bar.

An awkward silence over the little table and then-

"You and Bill went to school together." Fleur said. It was a statement, not a question.

Tonks let out her breath in a heavy sigh. "Yes, we did. I was in the same year as his younger brother, Charlie."

"Bill's muzzer mentions you a lot." Fleur said in a suspicious voice.

"Oh, Molly's so sweet- isn't she?"

Fleur gave a haughty sniff. "Her cooking I theenk is to be desired."

Tonks frowned. "Hm. I think it's quite good."

Fleur tossed back her mane of silver hair and sighed in exasperation. "Well it ez all a matter of opinion I suppose, but still…" she looked intently at Tonks. "Were you good friends with Bill at school?"

_Ah-ha! That's so that's what she's on about._ Tonks grinned inwardly. "Oh well, he was two years ahead of me, but yes- I suppose so…I was good friends with his younger brother Charlie, me and Bill both were in charms club for a short time and oh, I made out with him one time in my 5th year behind the Quidditch stands." She finished airily.

Fleur's eyes widened in shock. "Excusé-moi?!?!?" she exclaimed.

Right on cue Bill and Aldwin returned, carrying the drinks.

"We're back!" Bill said cheerfully. "Did you two find lots to talk about?"

Tonks started laughing at the expression at Fleur's face which looked as if she were quickly rising to hit an exploding point.

"Fleur asked how you and I met eachother, so I told her."

Bill wasn't stupid and looked slightly exasperated as he sighed and set down the drinks. "Come'on Tonks- why did you have to bring that up?"

"Sorry." Tonks laughed- it really was hilarious, and she hadn't had a good laugh like this in weeks.

Fleur sent daggers with her eyes at Tonks before rounding on her husband to be-

"What ez this, Bill? Mademoiselle Tonks 'ere is telling me zat you-you were… together!"

Bill sat down with a sigh before moving closer over to sit by the blonde woman. "When we were younger, yes- me and Tonks dated for a short time but we're just friends now."

"Friends?" she repeated, still looking furious.

"It's true Fleur." Tonks said, still smiling. "We're long since over eachother, but I couldn't resist telling."

Fleur glared at her- still sour. "_Faute avouée est à moitié pardonnée_. " she muttered angrily under her breath.

Tonks frowned. It was times like these when she wished she had picked up another language when she was younger.

Bill sighed. "We were over each other a long time ago- but I think Mum sometimes forgets that me and Tonks have moved off into different directions since our school days."

"Cheers." Tonks said taking a hold of her rum from Aldwin.

"I remember when I first heard that Tonks and Bill dated back at school. I couldn't believe it either." Aldwin said obviously trying to soothe Fleur. "Then again- maybe I could have- fanged earring…pink hair."

"I don't go for all men who have earrings or something." Tonks said.

"Kingsley?" Aldwin asked.

"Oh yeah…I forgot about that."

Bill kissed Fleur on the cheek, who looked slightly consoled and sat closer to him- still eyeing Tonks suspiciously as if she might suddenly try jump up and kiss Bill on the spot.

Tonks rolled her eyes and started bolting down her drink. When she set it down, she was surprised to see they were all staring at her in shock.

"When did you learn to be such a good drinker?" Aldwin asked in astonishment.

"I had a cousin who taught me well." She said with a grim smile.

Bill caught her eye and gave her a concerned look. She turned away quickly, "So-" she said loudly. "How about those Chudley Cannons, eh?"

"Bah!" Fleur exclaimed. "Quidditch! Quidditch! Quidditch! Who really cares about zat sort of zing these days-?"

"Yeah….yeah. Your absolutely right." Aldwin said, staring at Fleur with a sickening sloppy look. "Who really cares?"

"Well considering you usually support the Chudley Cannons with a zealous passion, Aldwin, I'd say a few people do." Tonks said nastily.

Bill didn't seem to notice what was going on because Fleur was now sipping her gillywater in a way that was making nearly all the men in the dingy pub break out in a cold sweat.

Tonks bolted down the rest of her drink. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Tonks had lost track of time but it seemed to be dragging slower than it did at work which was saying a lot. The conversations were boring, awkward, or both thanks to the glamorous presence of Fleur bloody Delacour. 

"Ze French 'ave always been better cooks-I 'ave said zis all along-"

"Yeah their amazing when their not serving up frog legs and snails." Tonks said loudly who lost track of what number of drinks she was on at this point. .

Bill started laughing and Fleur looked annoyed. Aldwin who had drunk probably more than he could handle was now simply staring dreamily at Fleur.

Bill caught the look on his fiancee's face and made a desperate attempt to change the conversation. "Have you heard from Remus Lupin lately?" he asked Tonks.

Tonks sat up straighter at this. "No. I was actually going to ask you if you had heard anything from him lately because no one seems to-"

"Remus Lupin?" Fleur interrupted suddenly. "Zat tired looking, old man?"

"He's not old!" Tonks snapped losing some control for the first time that entire night.

Bill, Fleur and even Aldwin all looked surprised at her outburst but Fleur recovered quickest-

"Ah-" she said, her eyes twinkling as she looked at Tonks. "Ee has grey hair already-"

"He's only thirty-seven! He turns thirty-eight in March!" Tonks exclaimed angrily.

Fleur was smiling broadly now and Tonks inwardly cursed herself for making a display of herself like this.

"How do you zis Remus Lupin, so well?" she asked her.

"We've both worked together in the past." Tonks said stiffly. "I'm sure you knew that already."

Fleur looked immensely smug from across the table as if she already guessed more about her and Remus than Tonks had let on. Tonks struggled for a moment to stop herself from taking her drink and throwing it right into Fleur's perfect face. Perfect Fleur with her perfect life and perfect, perfectness-

_'Tonks listen to me. You are an amazing young witch and you are…perfect, just the way you are.'_

Her eyes started to well with tears as she remembered the words that had been said so long ago to her by Remus. She sat there trying to compose herself, barely hearing Aldwin who was talking animatedly about the Chudley Cannons for the fifth time that night-

_'I can change my appearance at will, Remus.'_

_'No, I didn't mean your appearance. I meant your personality.'_

She screwed up her face, staring drunkenly into her tankard as the tears started to blur her vision.

"Errrrrrr- Tonks? Are you alright?"

She looked up through the swim of tears to see Bill frowning slightly as he stared at her. Aldwin looked bewildered at being interrupted in mid-ramble and Fleur's face was surprisingly soft as she stared at her.

"Yeah…" she sniffed.

_HE never wanted me to look like Fanny over there- he liked me…just the way I was. _

Tonks barely chocked back the hysterical howling that was rising within her.

Bill raised an eyebrow at the gurgling noise she made and stood up abruptly. "Maybe we ought to call it a night-"

Tonks shook her head. "Noooo." She said in a shaky voice. "I think I need another drink."

"I think you've had plenty." Bill said firmly. "Come'on lets pay and get out of here."

Minutes later as they headed out the front door, Tonks felt she had managed to recover pretty well and nobody had suspected much from her ridiculous behavior. They were all hugging and saying goodbye (Fleur had to pry herself a bit from Aldwin who didn't seem to want to let go of her) when the worst blow that night came upon her with no warning whatsoever.

She had just finished hugging Bill, avoiding Fleur's narrowed eyes and was saying how she'd see him around when Aldwin exclaimed,

"Look at the moon!"

The clouds parted suddenly to reveal a large silver moon high up in the dark sky- it was only half full but it was so blindingly bright the entire street was illuminated. Fleur and Bill commented on its beauty, their arms entwined around eachother as Aldwin stumbled about unsteadily on the street.

Tonks felt her lower lip wibbling and barely managed to turn on her heel and apparate hastily away before bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

She slammed the door to her flat and began kicking everything that was lying in sight, crying like a baby all the while. She made a spectacular 'sad drunk'…she probably could have put Sirius to shame.

What was wrong with Remus? No one had heard from him. Not even Dumbledore- where was he? How was his mission going- what if he was he already—

Tonks stopped in midkick and let out a nervous hiccup as a terrifying word came flying to mind.

Dead?

Minutes later, for the first time in weeks- she found herself curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor eating all the chocolate she had secretly saved since her purge after Remus's departure.

_Don't you dare die you stupid prat…I'm trying like you told me to, but I can't let go. I still love you...don't die…. _

* * *


	16. Werewolves of London

**Chapter Sixteen-Werewolves of London**

Cold.

It was cold. Cold and wet. Remus was aware of the cold and the overwhelming smell of filth and rotting garbage around him before he even opened his eyes.

With a groan he opened them.

It was dark. Very dark. What looked like a small fire nearby was casting dim flickering shadows on the cement walls and dripping ceiling.

He slowly lifted his head and felt his heart shop short.

In the shadows all around him was a ring of wild and filthy people- no, not people, werewolves. Their eyes were narrowed in suspicion, distrust, hatred and (Remus felt another thrill of terror) unmistakable hunger.

He was alive though. But before he could say or do anything, before he could even think of what to do-

"Be careful what you say wizard…your life is in our hands now."

He sat up and turned to face the speaker.

A tall, lanky man was standing there- his clothes were ripped and torn from apparent negligence and rough living. His long, filthy hair was dark and hung about his pale, bony face in greasy strands. His eyes were the same colour as grey slate and just as cold. And in his long fingered hands, he was absentmindedly twirling Remus's wand.

Remus cleared his throat. "I need to speak to Fenrir Greyback."

The cold, dark eyes narrowed. "How do you know him?"

"We've met before." Remus said darkly.

There was murmuring from around the circle that was abruptly cut short when the werewolf with Remus's wand gave them a stern look.

"What is your name, wizard?"

"Let me speak to him."

"I asked you what your name is, wizard!"

"Let me speak to Fenrir Greyback."

A low snarl from the man in front of him. "I don't think you're aware that I'm the one conducting the conversation here- I will not ask you again- WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

Remus stared up into the cold grey eyes above him. For some bizarre reason he felt no trace of fear- just odd, almost disturbing- detachment from what was quickly unfolding around him.

_If you can fool people into believing your one of those that wears their hearts on their sleeve, you can hide a lot of your true intentions. _

Who had said that to him? Someone had.

"What is your name?"

_Fooling people…hiding your true intentions…_Suddenly with a sharp jolt of realization he remembered who had told him that- _Sirius, back during the first Order- shortly before I stopped trusting him and believed he was the traitor-_

"My name is Remus Lupin. I wish to speak to Fenrir Greyback."

The man's eyes were slits now- "Lupin?" he said coldly. "Sounds familiar-"

"It should." Remus said grimly. "My name gets around quite a bit. May I please speak to Fenrir? It's very important."

"Shut it." The werewolf said, as he continued to twist Remus's wand in his hands- eyeing him shrewdly.

Remus frowned. "Fenrir Greyback is the leader of this pack is he not?"

"I should think so." Came a drawling voice from behind him.

Remus spun around and saw the circle of werewolves parting back respectfully, as a tall grey haired man stepped forward, his pointed teeth bared in a grin as he stared at Remus. At the sight of him, an unexpected surge of hatred had risen within him, like a fiery bile. It was taking more than a little effort to control his breathing and detached expression.

The other werewolf inclined his head respectfully at Fenrir's approach and Fenrir's eyes flickered to him for the merest fraction of a second.

"Manners Randolph, we have a guest- a little late for dinner obviously…but perhaps dessert."

There were a scattering of soft laughter from around the ring of onlookers.

"What's your name you said?" Fenrir asked him peering at him closely.

"Remus Lupin." He said in the calmest voice he could manage.

Fenrir looked taken aback. "Lupin?" he rasped. He drew closer to him in the dim light and Remus forced himself not to gag from the foul mixture of sweat, blood and dirt that was issuing from the man in front of him.

Fenrir's eyes stared hard at his face for a moment before a satisfied smile spread across his face. He reached out suddenly and grabbed hold of Remus's arm in a viselike grip and pulling it towards him, wrenched up his sleeve.

His scar… Fenrir stared at it with a triumphant gaze as the onlookers burst into furious whispers- Randolph, the werewolf that had Remus's wand was staring at him with a mixture of surprise and suspicion.

Fenrir pressed a yellowing, sharp nailed finger to his arm and Remus felt an unexpected searing pain where his scar was. He let out a loud yell and pulled back but Fenrir didn't seem too bothered by it.

_What the HELL was that about? _Remus thought desperately. For the first time that night, he felt numb with fear. He was as terrified as he had been that time so many years so long ago when he had seen narrowed, golden eyes and long pointed teeth through the trees of his local childhood woods.

His old scar was still tingling; throbbing as if had been burned. He knew that as odd as it was- it probably did not bode well.

"I marked you as one of mine years ago." Fenrir smiled. "They say old wounds know their masters, wouldn't you agree Lupin?"

He said nothing, staring into those wicked eyes, determined not to show any emotion.

Fenrir released him and stood up to stride over to Randolph. "How did you find him?"

"He was following me and Lyall on our way down here. I backtracked, knocked him unconscious and we dragged him back here for questioning."

Fenrir took the wand from Randolph who handed it over rather reluctantly.

"The true mark of a wizard…his wand." Fenrir said quietly. Everyone in the circle was eyeing them with utter reverence and fascination. Fenrir began to pace quietly around the ring of the circle, his brow furrowed.

Remus sat there wondering what on earth was coming next when Fenrir turned around, his face half-covered in the shadows, "You know something Lupin…you don't even have to tell me why you're down here-I think you're a spy."

He just barely managed to hide his true feelings under a mask of controlled surprise.

"What?"

"A spy." Fenrir snarled. "Don't think I haven't seen this before."

"And who would I be a spy for?" Remus laughed bitterly. "A wizard? The Ministry?"

"Albus Dumbledore! That's who! The man you worked for a year for- like a HUMAN."

Damn. They knew about that. Probably was better to get everything out of the way in the beginning rather than later though…not that that really helped his situation at present-

"I regret to say that though I worked alongside humans for a few months at Hogwarts, I was never treated as a friend."

Fenrir circled Remus with a more than suspicious look. "From what I've heard- the last time the Dark Lord came to power you were too busy caught up with your friends to help us."

"You're wrong there." Remus said much more calmly than he felt.

"Is that so?" Fenrir sneered.

"Three of them died, two of them by the Dark Lord's hand himself. The other was sent to Azkaban for life. Do you think that I did not have a hand behind all this?" Remus asked pointedly.

Fenrir looked surprised. "Well…" he said slowly. "It seems that I misunderestimated you Remus Lupin."

Remus gave a genuine smile. "Most people do."

"So why betray your friends?"

_God forgive me. _"Friends?" Remus smiled grimly. "They weren't my friends! People that leave you out of their circles of trust and treat you like a lesser creature because of your condition are people that I do not see as friends, though-" he added as if he were confessing something personal. "It took me awhile to realize that of course."

"And Albus Dumbledore? Who took you into that school as a boy, who gave you a JOB?" Fenrir sneered.

"He allowed me into school yes and I confess as a child I obeyed the strict, unyielding guidelines they had said up for me in my case so that I could attend. When I was younger I did try to fight and seek an escape from what I truly was- but then I grew older and I had lapses where I fought with myself on my childhood dream of being a wizard and admitting to what I really was. I took the job because I saw it as a chance to be a wizard again and forget my condition- when my condition was revealed- Albus Dumbledore forced me to leave the school rather than keep me. It would have been bad publicity for our kind to be publicly acknowledged there." He managed to create a convincing tone of disgust in his voice.

"Ha. I knew it." Fenrir said, his eyes narrowed at the mention of Dumbledore. "Trust the old man to shove aside bad deeds from his name and put the blame on others- wouldn't have been the first time."

Remus said nothing, watching Fenrir intently.

"How did you know we were here?" Fenrir said finally.

"It wasn't easy- it took me several months of research and listening to reports from up and around the country...reports of werewolf attacks, word of mouth." He felt inwardly relieved that they were on slightly less shaky ground here.

"And so you sought to find me-"

"Yes. It took me awhile as I said earlier but at that point I knew I had to stop running from what I truly was. And so I knew if there was one werewolf in England I could go to for advice and for guidance it would be you."

"Very flattering, Lupin." Fenrir growled. "But I'm afraid that its going to take more convincing on your part-"

Remus felt his throat go dry, he had been afraid of this. He bowed his head respectfully. "I can assure you that my intentions are honourable-" _Well in a way they are, their very honourable, just not for him or wherever he's concerned. _

Fenrir smiled and it was so cold it sent shivers down Remus's spine.

"I'm afraid- that I need proof. And not anything that you can offer."

Remus knew what he was going to do the second he raised Remus's wand. And he knew there would be nothing he could do that would ever prepare him for it-

He barely noticed the other werewolves faces, save Randolph who was eyeing the situation before him with an almost hungry expression.

"CRUCIO!"

He had tried to brace himself, but once he was hit with the unforgivable curse which felt like a millions of red hot knifes piercing him- he fell to the floor writhing and twisting in agony. It seemed to last ages-it didn't stop- just mounting pain that was attacking him all over. He didn't scream though- he wouldn't scream for Fenrir's satisfaction.

Suddenly he found himself facedown on the floor- his breath was coming in searing gasps. Though the curse had been lifted- waves of pain still racked his body. Over the sound of his anguished gasps he could hear Fenrir's drawling voice, almost bored sounding-"Tell the truth Lupin-"

"I….am…" Remus gasped. He felt his stomach churn violently and before he could stop himself, he vomited all over the concrete floor.

Fenrir seemed quite unperturbed. He shrugged. "Damn. How unfortunate." And he raised the wand again.

This time it was far worse. And it seemed to last much longer. He was on the verge of screaming- it was taking all of his willpower and effort not to. He grit his teeth as his body was wracked with pain, shaking uncontrollably. His muscles were seizing up as he thrashed about on the floor in torture. His consciousness was fading-

The spell lifted again-he lifted his head and squinted through his blurred vision to see Fenrir talking quietly with Randolph for a moment before turning back to him.

"Now Lupin- answer me. Are you a spy for Dumbledore?"

Remus could only gasp for breath and shake his pounding head in response.

"This could go on quite awhile you know- you're actually putting up an admirable fight here, but it would be much easier for all of us if you just told the truth."

He moaned. He couldn't help it- he was in so much pain, he had actually screwed up his eyes as if it would help block it out. His consciousness was coming to him in waves rather than a steady flow-

_Can't… can't…can't surrender-_

Golden eyes through the trees-

_Please stop…_

A snarling noise as the wolf lunged at him, teeth bared-

_Please don't- please…_

The same bared smile, with pointed teeth-

_Can't….can't…_

The wand went slashing through the air again.

* * *

He wanted to die. He wanted this to end. 

The pain was unendurable- what he went through at every full moon actually- but there would be no end to this…this agony. He had already gone past the point where it was impossible to pass out. The pain seemed to be responsible for keeping him alive- because it felt like he should be long dead at this point. If someone had offered him a first class ticket to hell, Remus would have seized it immediately because NOTHING could be worse then what he was going through now-

The pain had been overwhelming, every fiber and cell in his body being pierced on all sides with white hot razor sharp knives for what seemed like an excruciating eternity.

But now the pain was replaced by a constant, blinding agony, everything was white- his eyes must have rolled up in his head long ago, his ribcage felt as if it were collapsing upon his own lungs- he couldn't breathe anymore, but he was also still screaming at the same time. He had given up trying not to scream, ages ago.

Nothing was connected to him anymore- his legs, his arms, his brain- it was all oddly disconnected- he was fading in and out of white consciousness- and then through the blinding white haze he saw other strange flashes of light that were beyond him at this point to recognize what colour-

And then quite suddenly- he knew for some strange reason, that despite the lasting pain, overwhelming pain- the curse had stopped.

And he heard laughter. It was a weak, barely distinguishable sound but it was defiantly laughter….Laughter coming from his own mouth.

He couldn't see- the white light was slowly fading back to the dark surroundings but he could feel tears steaming down his face from the terrible pain. Yet he was laughing fit to burst- laughing like Sirius as he was lead off to Azkaban- and before he fell through the veil-

Through his own thick veil of pain he saw the unnerved faces of the other werewolves staring down at him and he spat out the salty blood that had somehow filled in his mouth; out onto the floor so that he could laugh all the more harder. His face was wet with tears, and the pain hurt so bad he could barely lift his head from the cold ground, but still he kept laughing.

Fenrir Greyback stepped forward looking down at him with a mixture of confusion and astonishment. He probably thought he had tortured Remus into insanity- perhaps he had.

"Lupin? LUPIN!"

But still Remus continued to laugh-he felt Fenrir seize the front of his jumper and pull him to his feet- but his limbs were unable to support him. He would have collapsed were it not for Fenrir's tight grip.

Fenrir's blurred face was floating in front of him, his expression unreadable despite the strange smile on his face-

"Welcome to the pack."

And then he released him, and Remus felt himself finally falling not only to the floor, but into sweet merciful black oblivion.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes and found himself staring at a dark, half-caved in concrete ceiling. He groaned. This was as bad as waking up from a transformation-no, a hundred times worse- god, it was painful. He turned his head to see a small cleared out space with walls of rubbish and garbage. In the middle, was a small fire and sitting across from it was a young tattooed man with bloodshot eyes who was sitting on what looked like a mouldy blanket, eyeing him suspiciously. 

"What's going on?" His voice was much hoarser than usual from all the screaming he could not entirely remember doing. He sat up, aching all over, limbs still trembling uncontrollably.

"You've been sleeping. They threw you here with me. Everyone new to the pack is assigned to a certain spot to stay. We have to share this section."

Remus noted the boys disgust in his voice and avoided collapsing back onto the ground with exhaustion. He was freezing, his skull was throbbing and he felt like he was going to be sick.

The boy was still watching him intently. "Hey," he said slowly. "Haven't I met you before?"

Remus looked at the pale, filthy boy for a moment and a note of recognition hit him. "I think so. You stopped me in the street once. You were looking for a place to eat."

The boy slapped the side of his head with his tattooed palm. " 'Cor!" he exclaimed. "That's right! And you're a werewolf!"

"Yes." Remus said, slightly amused by the boys reaction.

He let out a cold laugh. "Man. Guess that's irony, isn't it?"

"What?"

"I hadn't been bitten yet. You were the werewolf."

Remus stared at him nonplussed, wondering if the boy was mad.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Werewolves of London, old man! Jesus Christ, even I've heard that song!"

Remus felt a sharp pain stab at his heart as he remembered a certain pink-haired witch singing the drunken rendition of the song for him at Christmas. "I've only heard it a few times."

"There's that line in it-" the boy yawned. "'I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's…'"

"Oh." said Remus.

The boy fiddled with one of the many piercings going through his eyebrow. "Huh. I didn't even think about that. And just a few weeks after that I became a werewolf myself."

"Who bit you?"

"Randolph." Said the boy carelessly. "It was an accident. I don't think he expected me to live. But here I am with you lot…the real 'Werewolves of London'."

"Are you a muggle?"

The boy rubbed his dirty nose with a gloved hand and glared at him. "I don't see what bloody business that is of yours old man."

"Sorry." Said Remus. "I didn't mean to get off to such a bad start. My name's Remus Lupin." He said standing up with great effort and extending his hand.

The boy looked at it and sneered. "I'm not touching you, you pervert."

_Brillant. _Remus thought warily. _Already off to a great start. _He let his hand fall not bothering to tell the boy that shaking hands was considered by most people a form of common courtesy.

"I'm Michel Jaques." The boy said.

He was surprised and slightly curious. "That's a French name."

"So what!?!?!" Michel said angrily.

Remus frowned slightly and mentally backed away from this obviously dangerous territory.

"Christ." Michel hissed, suddenly flipping out a switchblade. Remus immediately took a step backwards but relaxed somewhat when he saw Michel was just using it to trim his ragged fingernails. He looked up, noticed Remus standing a good ways away from him and grinned.

"I'm not going to knife you old man. You aren't worth my time."

In Remus's opinion the boy was trying to sound a lot tougher than he really was but he said nothing about that and instead approached him cautiously.

Michel glanced at him and eyed him thoughtfully. "So how did you become a werewolf?"

"I was bitten as a child."

"And Fenrir bit you?"

"That's correct."

"Why didn't you join him right away?"

Remus was ready for this. "I was only a little boy."

"But what about your parents?"

"They raised me."

Michel's eyes widened. "And you being a werewolf!?!? Were they fuckin CRAZY?!?!'

"No." said Remus quietly. "They loved me."

Michel looked taken aback by his answer. There was a long and awkward silence between them. Remus turned away and went about setting up his new living space as best he could in his corner.

Finally after a little while, Michel spoke up- "Well I think they were crazy- and you're crazy too. Christ, you were laughing on the floor fit to burst when Fenrir was torturing you- why the fuck were you laughing?"

Remus smiled, though it hurt the muscles in his face to do so. "As you already noted earlier, 'I'm crazy'."

Michel raised his eyebrows. "Yeah…I guess you really are then."


	17. Among the Pack

**Chapter Seventeen- Among the Pack**

He was alive.

It was a good start he felt.

On the bad side, his wand was still being held in possession by Fenrir Greyback which meant communication with the Order was an unbelievable impossibility. He had to earn it back somehow-

Remus to his credit was quite shrewd. He hadn't been a Marauder for nothing. He had observed for several weeks what went on in the pack and what was stirring quietly underneath it. …Michel Jacques for instance, had never actually killed anybody from what Remus had gathered though he bragged he had. Ages of the pack varied, most were older though, his age or younger. Remus was surprised to even learn there were women in the pack-but there were two, a weary looking woman called Leah that seemed to have a "romantic" relationship with a werewolf called Fredrick Kemp and a then there was a bitter woman named Bronagh Morrison who all but spat in his face when Remus tried to talk to her. The entire pack was suspicious of him but one werewolf had actually talked to Remus when Remus spoke to him first, a man by the name of David Crawford. David had been a thief for years and so although his moral center was slightly off, he occasionally had worked alongside wizards and witches even though they were all criminals like Mundungus Fletcher.

Most of the pack hated Remus for showing signs of being a wizard or at least trying to live amongst wizards but there was one werewolf that truly hated… no, not hated- LOATHED him. Randolph Horrell despised him. Randolph seemed to have a personal vendetta against him and more than on one occasion Remus had to look away from those cold, grey eyes that seemed to follow his every move.

Life in the pack was hard. Remus thought that years of poverty and hardship would help him adjust easily, but he was sorely mistaken. Fenrir opposed just about anything that represented human living. Unless it was stolen alcohol, drugs or cigarettes- nothing else could be brought into the pack. Things that Remus had though were highly essential such as tea and chocolate for some unbelievable reason was banned. Remus received an enormous telling off from Lyall Simmons for bringing back a toothbrush which was apparently against the rules of the pack as well. How brushing your teeth was considered a wizarding action that needed to be outlawed for werewolves Remus had no idea.

Remus was not allowed to go on his own yet. The suspicious pack made sure every time he went to leave- he was accompanied by someone. The worst night by far had been when Michel Jacques and him were paired up. Michel had actually robbed a small bank when Remus was halfway through the process of trying to sneak away and they were forced to run to an unbelievably seedy bar at Michel's instance. After a certain amount of drinks Michel started a brawl and by the time Remus managed to drag him out half the pub was in flames, the police were all there breaking up the riot and Remus had a black eye and a small amount of illegal cash in his pocket that Michel had thrown at him before he attacked the barman.

It seemed as if the sole purpose of the group was to wait for the full moon. It seemed to be all they thought about, all they talked about. As the days went by, Remus felt his nerves mounting. He was still wandless and had no idea what would be expected of him, or how they would monitor him as a werewolf if they asked him to do something.

Remus was now standing in a tight crowd with the other werewolves as they listened to Fenrir speaking from a mound of broken bricks. Fenrir seemed to believe that motivational speeches concerning revenge, their wolf instincts, revenge, the Dark Lord's overall plan of domination and revenge were necessary for the morale and mindset of the group. Remus was forced to admit, that most of the group seemed to believe it all and devoured his words with incredible devotion.

Today he was exhausted. He was sick of being trapped in this mad world of terror and violence- he was tired of not being able to get a message to the Order, he was still fearful of being wandless and very much alone. He was sick of scrounging rubbish piles looking for scraps of food or bits of silverware so that he could eat decently. The other day he had found some associated junk such as some soggy leaves of tea, a butter knife a half broken ball point pen and most recently, a tea strainer. All this he kept hidden of course. He had a feeling that Fenrir's thin trust of him might just break if he heard Remus was keeping artifacts from muggle garbage.

But as he stood there among the other werewolves listening to Fenrir speaking his mind kept wandering back to the days where he could spend a few hours curled up in a large comfortable armchair with a cup of tea and a good book-

_What I wouldn't give to be there now... _He thought wistfully as his mind found itself in the warm, comfortable Gryffindor common room from his youth.

Fenrir looked slightly maniacal as he stood from his pile of bricks speaking to them all, "The Dark Lord holds us in high regard. When he is at last in charge we blood brothers will find a new world full of prey that we will have full reign over-"

_To sit beside a nice, crackling fire-_

"-a rightful bloodbath-"

_-and some biscuits perhaps…_

"-to be revenged-"

_-to sleep in a warm bed…with __pillows__-_

"-never again-"

"I'd murder for a cup of tea."

_Exactly…_Remus thought. Suddenly his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he realized that although he had been thinking the same words, somebody beside him had actually spoken them.

He turned to see Bronagh Morrison standing there beside him, looking very tired. The shadows under her eyes were more pronounced then ever and her long tangled hair hunk about her pale face, lank and unkempt.

Perhaps he ought to be feeling concerned for such a miserable looking woman but for the first time in weeks he felt a stir of hope.

She turned, glaring at him as if she had felt his eyes on her and he quickly averted his gaze focusing back on Fenrir.

"-shall we be called wild and most feared-"

Already a delicate plan was sketching itself in his mind. The trick was to do it carefully, ever so carefully. Because if suspicion was raised, he might never have another chance.

* * *

Remus quickly made his way over the jumble of sharp wire and broken glass rehearsing his already thought out lines as he did so. 

He gripped the one tool he had in his hand that was carefully at his side and walked up to the huddled figure of Bronagh.

She was smoking a cigarette that had nearly burned down to nothing. He cleared his throat to announce his presence. Her head shot up.

"Hullo." He said pleasantly. "I'm looking for David. Have you seen him?"

"No." she said coldly. "Why'd you think he'd be here?"

"Michel said he'd seen him heading this way." Remus said smoothly, his quick lie coming off flawlessly. "Said he needed to see me."

She took a long drag on her cigarette. "Well, he isn't here."

He sighed pretending to look irritated while inside his heart began to pick up pace…If it didn't work…_Look at it…look at it…_

"Right." He said heavily. "Well if you see him just tell him I'm looking for him, will you?"

She nodded.

He turned to go, heart sinking when suddenly he heard Bronagh's voice.

"Hey…is that… what I think it is?"

_Thank you_

He turned, his face carefully arranged in a slightly confused expression. "What?"

She was peering at the object in his hand. "Is that a-" she craned her neck abit further to get a better look at it. "a tea strainer?"

"Oh, this?" Remus said innocently trying to shove it behind his back. "Just something I found."

Bronagh bit her lip. "It's a tea strainer. I know it is. My grandmother had one."

It had worked better than Remus had expected. He slowly raised it to eyelevel and looked at it carefully. "Ah." He said in pretend surprise. "So it is."

"Don't tell me you didn't know what that is after you living with humans for so long."

"I thought it looked familiar." Remus said. "But I've never used one myself."

Bronagh stamped out her cigarette on a nearby brick and stood up then to make her way over to him. "Let me see."

Remus handed it over.

She ran her hand along the side of the strainer. "Yeah. That's defiantly a tea strainer." She didn't seem to want to let go of it. "Not a half-bad one either. Where'd you find it?"

"Dumpster actually." He said with a rueful grin. "I was going to sharpen it and use the end of it as a tool for something."

She turned it over in her hands, examining it. "It's a pity we couldn't use it, but even if we could we don't have any tea leaves."

Remus raised an eyebrow and shifted about pulling a decent display of embarrassment. "Mm. Yes."

She looked up at him suspiciously. "But we don't have any tea leaves…" she said. "Do we?"

"No. No." Remus said hastily. "Of course not."

She continued to stare at him and he averted his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're lying."

His head shot up she didn't look angry but she still looked highly suspicious. "You conveniently found a tea strainer in a dumpster and were carrying it around?" A smug smile spread across her face. "You know something Lupin, I think I've figured out your secret. You have a supply of tea hidden around here somewhere don't you? And you didn't think I'd notice what it was with it half-hidden behind your back. I'm guessing that you were caught off guard earlier and that's why you still have it in your hand. Am I right?"

_Hook, line and sinker._

Remus let his head fall forward for a moment as if he were ashamed. "Yes." He muttered. "It's the only thing I can't give up. I've tried…really." He looked up suddenly. "Bronagh, you can't tell anyone! Please."

Bronagh folded her arms, smirking. "You could get in a lot of trouble if I told on you to Randolph."

He let his eyes grow wide. It wasn't that hard to pretend fear in this certain predicament. "It's not a terrible offense though! I mean, its just…some warm tea at night. It can't cause that much damage"

"It's against the rules."

Remus sighed sadly. "I know, it's wrong."

There was a long silence between them, Remus's heart seemed to be beating the seconds it was thumping so hard-

"Maybe…" she said slowly. "Just for tonight, I'll join you."

_Point one- Remus Lupin._

* * *

They had found a slightly secluded spot down in the broken Underground where Remus was making possibly the worst cup of tea in his life. Bronagh was holding her cup of tea as if it were priceless gold and still staring at the tea strainer which was lying on the side. 

"My grandmother used to make tea with a strainer."

Remus was surprised that she had spoken first. He had thought it would take a lot more persuasion. "What about your parents?"

She sighed. "My parents made us use tea bags. My two brothers and me that is."

"Ah. Where are they now?"

Her pale green eyes filled with sorrow. "I don't know." She said softly. "I haven't talked to any of them since I was bitten."

Remus watched her in silence.

She laughed, but there was no mirth in it. It was cold and hollow. "Or maybe it was the other way around, they wouldn't talk to me."

There was an awkward pause.

"What happened?" Remus asked softly.

She eyed him suspiciously but when he sat there waiting patiently she started talking, "After I was bitten, I was just old enough to attend school- they didn't want me anymore. They were afraid I think. I ran away."

He said nothing, still waiting for her to talk. He had a feeling she needed it.

"Greyback was the one who bit me." She said, her face dark. "He found me after I had run away from home and tried to raise me away from my parents. For awhile I lived with him until I tried to run away from him too at one point-"

Her head shot up at her own words. "I mean," she said hastily. "I was still young- I was very foolish. I didn't realize how Greyback would make everything right for us."

A long silence stretched between them.

"Greyback will make everything right for us…" she murmured, a frown on her face.

Remus watched her in silence. Suddenly some stones seemed to fall somewhere in the large tunnel behind them and Bronagh's head shot up- instantly alert.

"It's probably just a rat." Remus said. "That or a small rock slide. We seem to get those a lot down here, there's nothing to be worried about."

She looked at him suspiciously and added, "We are the creatures of the shadows, there's nothing down here to frighten us. We frighten others."

"Poetically put." Remus said taking a sip of his own tea.

She frowned and looked angry at him. "You're amused by it?" she asked him coldly.

"No. I find your description of us interesting, that's all. Just because we're 'creatures of the shadows' as you so put it- there's no reason to step out of the darkness and take part in the rest of the world."

She was watching him closely and he continued on.

"Look at David Crawford." he said. "He was bitten when he was very young yet he-."

"Nine years old." she interrupted.

"Yes. But when he was older he actually tried to work alongside wizards."

She looked at him curiously. "How old were you when you were bitten?"

"Young enough." Remus said. "And yet old enough to know that my life had changed forever."

"But when you are young you do not realize-"

"No child deserves such a fate." Remus said sharply. "Not a single one."

She seemed to realize that she had struck a nerve but she pressed on with it anyways. "But when they are young they have the chance to realize their gift. If they leave their parents-"

"And what child," Remus said coldly. "Would want to leave their parents after experiencing what it is like being turned into a murderous beast once a month?"

She let out a sharp intake of breath sat back looking triumphant. "You said it."

"Said what?"

"A 'murderous beast'. You just slipped up there. You still think being a werewolf is wrong don't you?"

"Have you ever listened to Greyback, Bronagh? He glorifies in that description all the time."

A slight frown appeared again on her lined face.

"You can't deny that he doesn't say that because he does. He WANTS us to act like murderous beasts- creatures of the darkest hellhole that can't even have a bloody cup of tea." He snapped, slamming down his cup of tea. "Let me tell you something, it is difficult as a young child when you discover that you can no longer be afraid of the monsters in the shadows because you're one yourself."

Bronagh looked as if her lips were about to form a question, he waited patiently-

"What was it like?" she blurted out.

"I beg your pardon?"

She looked at him slightly desperately as if willing him to understand, "I mean…living with wizards? You were bitten when you were young- but you still worked and lived with wizards for years- what was it like?"

He smiled kindly at her. "I'll tell you the truth. The whole, honest truth…No. It is not an easy life. There are people out there that will always remain prejudiced no matter what you say or do. But some people…" Tonks's beautiful face came flashing suddenly to mind before he could stop it. He closed his eyes for a moment and desperately tried to push it away-

Of course he was unsuccessful.

"Some people," he said quietly. "They give you a chance, and some of them I think truly do care…"

"What about your family?"

"My parents are long dead."

"Oh….so you must have friends."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "I believe that if one person will still talk to you, will stand by your side, will still touch you without flinching- you're not alone."

Bronagh was smiling for the first time that night with a genuine, kind smile. "Do you have a girl Remus?"

He snapped his head around. "What?"

She raised her eyebrows. "You know…a girl."

He thought back to that terrible day- telling Tonks she had to let him go, that he was taking the mission-her running away in the night, heartbroken… "_I wish you had told me you were going to say this a few weeks ago Remus. I could've asked the healers to rip out my heart then so that you wouldn't have to now..."_

"No." he said quietly. "Not anymore."

* * *

As Bronagh and Remus approached camp again, Remus could tell there was trouble- there were raised angry voices from a ring of werewolves. They were arguing and Bronagh shot him a wary look as he ran forward to see what was going on. As he heard their argument, he knew exactly what it was all about- 

"You bastard!"

"He bit me!"

"-that was your own fault you stupid-"

"Well I was bitten by-"

"-should've known-

"And when I woke-"

"You bit me first!"

"STOP!" Remus cried stepping suddenly into the ring. They were so startled by his sudden appearance they fell silent almost immediately. "Stop it right now! The point is, we are what we are and there is no turning back. Arguing over what's in the past doesn't do anything to help you!"

They were all staring at him, some of them curiously- some fearful and some downright angry.

He shook his head, "I don't understand it. You were bitten, all of you-" he began walking about the circle, "You are all werewolves but how is biting other innocent people helping you?"

"Revenge." Growled one werewolf that Remus knew went by the name, Fredrick Kemp.

Revenge. Was that the only thing that united them?

Remus knew deep down the answer was yes. And deep down too, he could understand why. Because he too at some times still wished for it.

He shook his head. "It gets you nowhere. It only causes more pain and misery for you in the end."

Michel Jacques let out a loud snort of laughter. "Well it makes me feel a helluva lot better."

Remus shot him an exasperated look. "Michel if somebody told you to jump off a bridge because everybody else was doing it would you feel better too?"

A few people chuckled but Remus turned on them. "I'm serious." He said. "Biting more innocent people does not help the situation, do you understand me? Even if you weren't a werewolf- life would still throw its usual blows at you. But being a werewolf isn't a death sentence despite what the rest of the wizarding world believes-"

"You sound a lot like Fenrir." Bronagh said quietly from the outskirts of the ring.

He stared at her for a moment and then inclined his head respectfully.

"Your right." He agreed. There was furious whispering around him and curious stares. They had obviously not expected him to agree.

"It's true." He said loudly and the whispers fell as they listened intently to him. "I agree with him that we receive unfair prejudice and that being a werewolf should not alienate us entirely from everyday society, but revenge? That's taking it one step too far in the wrong direction."

They were obviously stunned. Remus wondered if this type of motivational speech might be a bit too much for a newly inducted member that nobody trusted or liked, but it was too late now. Besides, the thrill of finally explaining his message to others knowing that they would carefully consider his words long after this sent a real surge of hope in him, the first one in weeks.

He turned around facing Bronagh, "I'm not saying its easy to turn away from revenge, I'm not saying that its fair, but life is like that no matter who…or what, you are."

"You don't have to act like such a bloody saint about it just because you lived with humans for your whole life!" one snapped.

Remus turned around slowly to face him. "My name," he said clearly. "Is Remus John Lupin. I am a werewolf. I have never attempted to deny it. And despite the fact that I am just as angry and frustrated as you are over our predicament, I have lived my life on a saying I once heard when I was younger, 'Blood cannot be washed out with blood'."

And on that final note he turned away from the ring of werewolves and walked away.

* * *

_Author's note: I can't even begin to tell you how DRAINING this is. SOOOOOO much going on with school and stuff but I'm plowing on with this story. The thing is- I am working on another Harry Potter fanfiction which I am growing increasingly fond of and I intend to post that story after I finish this one. And let me tell you something about the new fic even though it is a surprise...If you like this story- you'll probably going to ADORE the other one. So with that happy note- I am getting this one done even though the angst is killing me._

_Don't worry, Part III (DH) is going to kick some serious awesome ass. :D_

_I would also like to add a HUGE thank you for everyone who reviewed, favorited, etc. my story. It really means a lot to me and encourages me to plow on. I'm glad you like it. Thank you again. :)_


	18. The Wolf Who Cries

_Author's note: This here was the stumbling block for me. I'm certain that every single chapter that follows this one will be a million times easier to write because this chapter was such a bitch. I knew what I wanted to happen, but making it all work out and tie up neatly was a whole other episode in itself. But here it is. Possibly the most craptastic chapter I've ever written._

_Michel Jacques cracks me up. I think its obvious when you read it that I'm just laughing my head off as I write for him- the embodiment of every snot-nosed little punk I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. _

_Btw, this is probably the most gruesome part in the story. Just warning you...it's not that bad in my opinion- but still, just a heads up for sensitive people… _

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen-The Wolf Who Cries**

It was a good sign that there was at least some disagreement and discord in the pack even though it was for something as trivial as who bit who.

Remus was walking back to his spot of camp that he was still forced to share with Michel when suddenly a large shape leapt from the shadows, landing right in front of him and causing him to start abruptly.

"Lupin," Fenrir growled. "I've just finished talking with Bronagh. We need to talk."

Remus felt his throat turn dry. "Oh?"

"About your mission of course." Fenrir said with a terrible grin. "For this upcoming full moon."

At least he wasn't here to confront him about something else. Something more recent involving a secret stash of tea and discussing the bad aspects of the pack to everyone in it. He silently thanked Bronagh for not saying anything to Fenrir, though she easily could have if Fenrir had only just come from talking with her.

"Oh…right of course." He managed.

Fenrir began pacing in front of him. "If all goes well, I'm willing to give you back this-" he said holding something up. Remus squinted to see what it was in the darkness and felt a lurch of acknowledgment from his gut when he saw it was his wand.

"A werewolf with a wand could be very helpful to our pack. I won't deny that at least." Fenrir said as he pocketed it again. "However there's this funny little thing called trust. I'm sure you're familiar with it by now."

"All my life I've never been trusted for what I am." Remus said in his hoarse voice. This was true enough.

Fenrir nodded furiously. "And this here will be the last hurdle for you. If you complete this special mission of mine you'll have all the trust you've ever wanted from us."

Remus nodded, steeling his nerves. "What do I have to do?"

Fenrir's lip curled into an unnerving smile. "Well come now Lupin, surely you ought to be able to figure it out-"

"No idea." Remus lied, though somewhere in the darkest, deepest horrors of his mind he was starting to glimpse Fenrir's intentions.

Fenrir bared his teeth in what could have been irritation or amusement- Remus couldn't tell.

"I want you to surrender to your inner wolf-"

Remus knew Sirius would have laughed hysterically if he had heard that. He had spent years telling all sorts of embarrassing jokes full of sexual innuendo about Remus's 'inner wolf'.

"-and let your primal instincts run free at last."

Remus stared shrewdly at Fenrir. "You want me to bite someone?" he asked finally.

Fenrir's smile widened. "Perhaps it really was your brains that allowed to you become a professor, Lupin."

Remus ignored the insult. "Who?" he asked. How could Fenrir not see Remus's terrified thoughts swirling frantically about? How could he not hear his furiously pounding heart and sense the dread that Remus was now completely engulfed in?

"Well that depends. To be honest- I'll be impressed if you even have enough wolf in you left to actually bite someone."

"How will you know then that I actually bit someone?" Remus croaked. He was defiantly starting to feel sick now as he started to realize the impossibility of successfully pulling off the enormous task that lay ahead of him.

"I have my ways of knowing." Fenrir laughed. "Don't you worry about that Professor."

* * *

Remus was pacing. He had been pacing for quite some time now. It was impossible to leave now- everyone in the pack would leave together with just enough time to get them to where they needed or wanted to be for the full moon. Besides, he had the feeling he was being watched by more than one slightly suspicious person in the pack. Cold and curious eyes were following him from the shadows, watching his every move. 

He could see no way out- he wouldn't bite someone. He WOULDN'T. But the mission that he had worked so hard on-he'd be damned before he saw it all go to waste after everything he had done so far. He couldn't abandon it now-

Michel who was sitting on a nearby crate was not helping his nerves in the slightest.

"-but that wasn't half as good as the time where me and some of my mates got so drunk, Shane fell into the river. He would have fuckin drowned if his shirt didn't snag on that metal thing-"

He couldn't apparate, he needed a wand for that- likewise he couldn't get in touch with anybody from the Order-

"-and then I said to him 'I'm going to cut off your balls and use them for juggling or something you asshole' and he started laughing, so I grabbed him by his jacket and-"

There would be no way he could keep his sane mind as a wolf, he would have to hide somewhere so that there would be no way he could possibly bite someone. But how could he fool Fenrir? Perhaps Fenrir would be following him? But no, he had already heard that Fenrir was planning something else of his own tonight-perhaps he'd have somebody else trailing Remus? But then how would they know if he truly bit someone or not?

"-and so the cops were coming at us and I grabbed the frozen turkey and threw it at the bastards but it went through the fucking windshield of the car instead because I was pretty shitfaced at that point and my arm was still broken from when I-"

Never in a million years could he bite an innocent person- he was strangely fortunate in the fact that he knew a place nearby that he could spend the night in safety, he had used it once or twice in the past during those long lonely years that followed the death of Lily and James up until his teaching job at Hogwarts-but if he went there, wouldn't Fenrir know?

"-and so then he says 'Fuck you!' and he throws him up against the wall and started beating him with the gun handle because he didn't have any bullets left-"

Remus let out his breath in a low hiss.

Michel finally stopped his story. "What's wrong with you old man?"

Remus felt his nerves finally snap as he rounded on the young man. "Could you PLEASE just let me think in peace for two minutes?"

Michel glared. "You don't have to be such a tightass about it."

Remus bit back a string of retorts that were threatening to issue from his mouth. He turned his back on him and began pacing again.

"Are you scared, old man?" Michel asked in a mocking tone.

"I'm scared that I'll loose my sanity for not being able to think in peace!"

Michel looked smug. "I think you're scared. Scared about whatever Fenrir told you you have to do tonight. What'd he tell you?"

Remus ignored him as he continued to pace, thinking hard.

Michel leaned back against the overturned cardboard box. "You know something? Greyback is the best thing that has every happened to us. And when the Dark Lord strikes out in the open, we will all have our revenge."

Remus's head snapped up as he finally thought of what to do next.

"I'll be back soon." He said.

"Oy! Where're you going?" Michel called after him as Remus ran off into the darkness. "We're all going to leave in a few minutes!"

"I'll be right back!"

He sprinted to where Bronagh lived- and to his immense relief found her just about ready to leave.

"Bronagh!" he cried, skidding to a stop.

She walked right past him.

"What-what did he ask you to do?" Remus asked quietly.

But Bronagh either appeared not to hear him or was ignoring him on purpose as she walked away.

Remus, still clutching at the stitch in his side ran after her.

"Bronagh!" he suddenly noticed tears streaming down her pale, filthy face. He grabbed her arms tightly to prevent her from walking away from him. "Bronagh?" he asked more softly.

He expected her to fight back but to his shock she let out a dry sob and fell against him. Awkwardly, he patted her on the back and waited-

"I don't want to hurt anybody anymore- people- people with families who they love- I can't, I can't tear them apart anymore." she said into his shoulder. "I've been thinking a lot- even before you came here- and I can't stop thinking about it now. It's not right or wrong- it's not me realizing the 'error of my ways' and all the shit but I just can't do it anymore. I can't explain why. I'm tired of it."

"I know."

She looked up suddenly, her eyes flashing. "Why are you here then?" she demanded, her face still streaked with tears. "Why are you here with the pack when you hate it so much?"

"Because I want to help people like you get out of here, and more importantly realize why you have to get out."

"There's no way out for me. It's already too late."

"It's never too late." Remus said firmly. "Run."

She stared at him in shock. "When? Where?"

"Tonight. Anywhere. It doesn't matter. There are places to go- safe places out there. I know people that could protect you if you wanted."

She continued to stare coldly at him but beneath her haughty exterior he could see that her pale green eyes were deep in thought.

"You trust other people?"

"I generally trust everybody I meet on first impressions."

"That's dangerous."

"Perhaps. But that's who I am. And allowing myself to trust others has helped me before."

She looked at him for a moment, "I don't need anybody's help." she said coldly.

He shook his head angrily. "This isn't about pride Bronagh! It's about surviving!"

She was still glaring. "And I'm more than capable of doing that on my own." She turned and started to walk away.

"Are you going to run?" Remus asked desperately.

She turned. "If I was, I'm not likely to tell you in case they decide to interrogate you now would I?"

He felt the smallest of smiles reach his face. "I'm proud of you."

She looked as if she were about to say something nasty in return but reluctantly returned his smile before running off into the darkness.

* * *

It had been a mad whirlwind of chaos and fear and yet here he was now- Trading off one hell for another- 

The pack had left the Underground together before quickly going their own separate ways. No one had followed him, he was quite sure of it but the thought that he was possibly being watched somehow unnerved him.

How he would be able to fool Fenrir he didn't know. But right then and there, there were more pressing matters-

Like the rising of the moon.

Remus had seen many risings. And even after all these years, the moments before the moonlight would reach him- was that same terrifying wait.

_Bugger._ He thought as he anxiously paced the small room. He had not been able to lock the door behind him with magic as he usually had in the past, but he had bruised himself considerably as he made sure that it was impossible to get through.

He closed his eyes for a moment. There was always the knowledge before the moon came that nothing was entirely safe. Though he had been able to successfully bar himself from the world- nothing was guaranteed. The possibly of waking up the next morning and realizing he had murdered someone by accident was a fear that had haunted and plagued his dreams shortly after he had been turned into a werewolf and started to realize what being one truly consisted of.

An old cracked mirror lay on its side in one of the corners of the room. Remus approached it warily and stared at his reflection in shock.

He very nearly swore.

He would have never recognized himself. He looked terrible. His hair was longer than usual and he was in desperate need of a shave. He was filthy and was nearly as thin and bony as Sirius had been when he escaped Azkaban. The dark shadows under his eyes were more pronounced than ever and his skin was ghostly pale. He smiled at his reflection and the effect was terrifying.

Remus turned away from the mirror and looked out up at the window again, the moon was finally about to rise- He stared up at the barred window high above him in the dark vaulted room and waited. He could probably try to stay in the corner if he crouched low there for sometime- it would delay the transformation by an hour or so perhaps…

But Remus was not a coward. All the years of his life that fell on the full moon- he would stand there alone and wait for it. He had never tried to hide from the moonlight… ever. It was a strange oath to uphold, but Remus did so religiously.

'_It is far better to die on your feet than to live on your knees'._

As he stood there waiting, he wondered suddenly if perhaps somewhere not so far away a young, pink-haired witch was waiting and watching for the moon to rise too. He shuddered.

And then quite suddenly- the room was flooded with silver moonlight.

* * *

He opened his eyes. 

He was facedown on the floor, breathing heavily, feeling incredibly dizzy and sick from last night's transformation. From what he could see from the ground, the room was an absolute mess. He had destroyed it quite efficiently as a werewolf- the mirror that had been in the corner before was in shattered, sparkling pieces on the floor around him.

He closed his eyes again. He wanted nothing more than to curl up into a tight ball on the cold floor and lay there forever.

No. He had to think.

As he lay there shivering with cold and fatigue he forced his sluggish mind to think of a plan.

_I could never get away with saying I bit a wizard…_

What about a muggle?

_A muggle might work, a muggle wouldn't necessarily know how to find the pack and the pack probably wouldn't care as much if it was a muggle_-

He felt guilty for thinking of muggles like that, but it was true.

_I might be able to pull it off-_

With a groan and a huge effort of willpower he forced himself to sit up.

He gingerly reached for one of the nearby shards of glass and holding it carefully looked at his appearance for a moment in the dim, early morning light that was filtering in through the barred window.

There was something missing. Though he looked worse for the wear and utterly exhausted and pale- his clothes from what he could see were ripped and tattered, but there was something missing from his appearance if he was to fool them into thinking he had attacked a muggle.

He hated to do it, but there was no time to think of another plan.

Without hesitation he turned over the sharp piece from the broken mirror in his hand and with shaking fingers, drew it hard across his forearm. He let out a sharp gasp as blood welled over the wound and he put it to his mouth.

The blood was salty in his dry mouth but it was what he needed. Without the traces of blood on his teeth, it wouldn't look as though he had attacked anything at all.

The wound was still bleeding profusely after Remus pulled his mouth away.

Remus finally found himself mentally cursing for the first time in ages-

_Shit._

He desperately tried wrapping a torn piece of cloth around it and it seemed to do nothing for it at all as the crimson blood seeped through.

_Now I'm going to bleed to death on top of everything else-_

The bitter, salty taste of blood in his mouth was making his stomach turn. Eyes screwed up tightly from the terrible feeling he wrapped the cloth as best he could around his arm and pulled what remained of his torn sleeve over it. His thoughts were still moving sluggishly but one thought ran through his mind with startling clarity-

He had to get back. Immediately.

* * *

He stumbled down the dark Underground tunnel, his breathing ragged. As he drew closer, he could hear raised voices- frighteningly familiar voices- 

As he rounded the corner he saw a strange sight. Three figures were on the mound of bricks that Fenrir usually stood on to give his zealous speeches. Randolph was talking angrily with Fenrir and between them was Bronagh who was fighting tooth and nail to get away from Randolph who was bleeding heavily on the side of his face where Remus guessed from the look of it that Bronagh might have scratched him with her long nails.

"What's going on?" Remus asked sharply.

David Crawford who was standing next to him shook his head grimly as a response.

A loud scream from the front distracted him. He snapped his head around to see Bronagh now in Fenrir's tight grip- Randolph was nowhere to be seen now.

"Well you are a disappointment today Bronagh." Fenrir was saying loudly. "But perhaps we can make your little mistake into a worthwhile lesson for everybody else here."

She said nothing, but tried only harder to break away from his grip.

David spoke up again quietly at Remus's side, "Randolph apparently caught her trying to leave. Fenrir had given him another mission to do but he didn't follow through with it because he was convinced of it that Bronagh was planning to run away and leave for good. Fenrir's not willing to give her anymore chances with her."

Remus felt as if he had received a blow to the gut- she had tried to run away. She had tried at his insistence to run but Randolph had followed and caught her. He couldn't stand here- he couldn't let this happen, but Fenrir was talking and as Remus desperately tried to think up a plan- he found himself listening.

"'Before a cock crows today, you will deny Me three times'." Fenrir growled. "Have you heard those words before?"

"Let- let me go!" Bronagh gasped, trying to pull away from Fenrir's tight grip.

He pulled her close, his teeth bared in a terrible half snarl, half smile.

"I'm afraid that today was your third denial, Bronagh. 'Lupus non mordet lupum'…" He rasped.

Bronagh was struggling against him as he pulled her even closer, "Do you know what that means? It's Latin."

She shook her head furiously and Fenrir's smile grew more twisted, "It's one of the oldest rules that our kind upholds…it means, 'A wolf does not bite a wolf'."

Then in the blink of an eye, the rusted dagger in Fenrir's hand sliced through the shadows and right across Bronagh's pale throat.

Remus felt his gasp of horror catch in his own throat. His heart seemed to have stopped in mid lurch. He stared in wide eyed terror as Bronagh fell forward, her hands blindly feeling the wound at her neck. Crimson blood seeped through her pale fingers and onto the dark concrete floor.

Fenrir leered down at her with a look of utter contempt before stepping over her crumpled form and facing them all.

Remus could only focus on the young woman who was chocking on her own blood up on the broken mound. Her gasps for breath became wilder as the gargling noise from her throat increased.

And then in the last second, her terrified eyes found his in the crowd and held his gaze. There was anger in her pale green eyes and then, the next second the grey, blank veil of death passed over them.

The angry, bitter look on her face was the same she had worn when she was living. The furious eyes, though unseeing were still facing him and Remus felt the accusatory glare from the dead woman as if it were physically burning him.

Fenrir was saying something but Remus couldn't understand it. Words were meaningless and time was wild and scattered. He realized that the other werewolves were moving away from the scene and Fenrir had jumped down from his mound and was striding over to him.

Remus watched as Fenrir reached him and gave him a terrible smile. "Lupin," he rasped. He eyed Remus before him for a long moment, eyes lingering on every tiny detail of his appearance before saying, "Who was he?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I couldn't remember anything-" The words seemed to be coming and going much more slowly than usual. "He was a muggle I think."

Fenrir stared at into his eyes for a long minute and for once, Remus didn't have to work on keeping his face expressionless. He was too stunned by what had just happened to truly react to anything. The seconds lengthened…

"I believe this is yours."

Remus stared at the wand in Fenrir's outstretched hand and took it slowly from him. Everything seemed like it was happening underwater or in a dream- time seemed to be moving so slowly.

Fenrir looked sternly at him. "You've seen what happens to traitors among our pack Lupin." He said with a careless nod of his head to Bronagh's body. "Hopefully you'll know better and not use your wand in a way that will result in the same messy end."

He grinned, displaying pointed, yellow teeth and Remus could only numbly nod his agreement as Fenrir turned and started to walk away.

"I'm assuming that tonight was your first real attack?" Fenrir called back.

Remus nodded slowly.

Fenrir laughed and the feral sound echoed off the cavernous walls. "All things get better with time Lupin! The next one will be even better- I promise."

As his heavy footsteps faded away, Remus stared back at the mound of bricks where Bronagh lay in her own red blood, he heard a soft laughter behind him and turned to see Randolph Horrel striding towards him from the shadows.

"You look a bit concerned there Lupin."

He said nothing. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Randolph stopped beside him and glanced at Bronagh. "Pity." He said, but his ice was cold and had no remorse in it. "But that's life isn't it? It's never fair no matter who…or what you are."

Remus shot his head around to stare at Randolph who was smiling at him but the look in his eyes was so cold it sent chills down his spine. The werewolf took a step forward and Remus immediately backed up from the blazing intensity of those grey eyes.

"Such life lessons to be learned here." Randolph spat. "And you seem to be intent on teaching a few to everyone here."

Remus shook his head but Randolph pressed on,

"How about sharing a lesson with me Lupin? How about a lesson on how werewolves are not so different from humans and revenge is one step in the wrong direction? Or how about how 'Just because we're 'creatures of the shadows' there's no reason to step out of the darkness and take part in the rest of the world?'"

Remus felt his blood turn to ice. How long had Randolph been watching him? How long had he been watching Bronagh before he dragged her to Fenrir and ultimately, her death?

A horrible thought struck him- Randolph had been assigned to do something else for Fenrir last night and didn't do it so that he could follow Bronagh instead. Had Randolph been assigned to watch Remus? He took another step backwards and fell over a pile of rubbish, landing hard on the floor.

Randolph raised an eyebrow. "No lesson today? I'm disappointed. We can all learn so much from you I'm sure." He watched Remus start to scramble to his feet and leaned forward, causing him to freeze.

"Then how about I teach you a little lesson then Lupin?" Randolph said quietly, "You're an educated professor after all. I'm sure you'll have a big opinion on this- 'Which is worse? The wolf who cries before eating the lamb or the wolf who does not?'"

And on that dark note he smiled and vanished into the shadows.

* * *

It took Remus several moments to realize that he was shaking. Shaking from terror, exhaustion and seeing everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours was causing him to feel physically sick. He clutched his wand tightly. At least he could now send a message to the Order. He would do that in a minute, once he had gathered his nerves. 

He looked back at Bronagh's dead body and turned away. Fighting back nausea, Remus found himself walking back to where he usually slept. Michel was already there, sitting on his blanket beside the fire. The boy was deathly pale under the customary layer of dirt that covered his face, but a forced smile still lingered. "Well…" he said, his voice cracking. "The bitch deserved it."

Remus said nothing, not sure his cover would hold if he said anything else.

Michel flopped onto his blanket bed by the old gutter. "I mean… she really had it coming. She should've known better. "

Remus made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat. He stared into the glowing embers in the small fire, his mind replaying the same terrible scene inside his head. Bronagh's frightened face half covered in shadows- a rusted dagger, the wicked gleam in Fenrir's dark eyes- crimson blood dripping onto the concrete floor- Randolph leering over him in the darkness-

"Man," Michel said quietly from his side of the dying fire, "Some scary shit happens around here sometimes, doesn't it?"

For once, Remus agreed with the young man.


	19. All I want for Christmas

_Author's note: Let's do the time warp againnnnn! Just a little bit of a time leap- I imagine Remus has spent the past short months still as spy obviously among Fenrir's pack and at this point can get away with leaving for small periods of time- so here he is! And here's an awesome chapter that cheered me up considerably from the last one cuz-ohhhh, I won't give it away. Just read it yourselves. :)_

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen-All I want for Christmas**

It seemed so strange to be back living in the real world again- Remus was staying with the Weasley family for Christmas. The past few months among the pack had improved slightly as Remus was now trusted enough to leave for short periods of time and he was now able to get useful messages across to the Order. He was staying at the Weasley's through Mrs. Weasley's insistence who upon seeing him for the first time had very nearly screamed before immediately fussing about how thin and ragged looking he was.

He had never felt better in his entire life. Shaving his face, sleeping in a real bed, eating normal meals again-

It was Christmas lunch and everything tasted absolutely heavenly. Remus was particularly absorbed in his turkey when he heard Mrs. Weasley snap-

"I invited _dear_ Tonks to come along today," said Mrs. Weasley suddenly, setting down the parsnips with unnecessary force and glaring at Fleur. "But she wouldn't come. Have you spoken to her lately, Remus?"

Remus felt an uncomfortable pang of guilt stab his heart. In truth, Nymphadora Tonks had been occupying an awful lot of his thoughts since his recent arrival back to the Wizarding world. The desire to see her again and the fear of jeopardizing her even more was causing him to have torn conflictions which he mentally argued about with himself until it gave him terrific headaches and no definite solution. "No, I haven't been in contact with anybody very much. But Tonks has got her own family to go, hasn't she?"

Mrs. Weasley fixed him with a knowing stare. "Hmmm, maybe. I got the impression she was planning to spend Christmas alone actually."

Remus said nothing, not entirely sure how to respond to this.

Mrs. Weasley glared at him as though it was entirely his fault that Tonks was so miserable, which he reminded himself was entirely true. Overwhelmed with guilt he cut himself a large piece of turkey and shoved it in his mouth.

Harry spoke up at Remus's side. "Tonks's Patronus has changed its form," he told him. "Snape said so anyway. I didn't know that could happen. Why would your Patronus change?"

Remus almost chocked on his turkey. Harry had no idea of course, but had just succeeded in making him feel about a thousand times guiltier. He was quite sure that he was the cause of this as well. A patronus could only change in times of serious emotional crisis for the caster…and he had a pretty shrewd idea what Tonks's crisis might consist of. He suddenly realized that Harry was still waiting for an answer so he finished chewing his turkey and swallowed. "Sometimes…a great shock…an emotional upheaval…"

"It looked big, and it had four legs," Harry continued. He suddenly seemed struck by a sudden thought and lowered his voice. "Hey…it couldn't be-?"

"Arthur!" said Mrs. Weasley suddenly. She had risen from her chair, hand pressed over her heart, staring out the kitchen window. "Arthur-it's Percy!"

"What?"

Mr. Weasley turned around as well. Everybody looked quickly at the window. Ginny actually stood up. There sure enough was Percy striding across the snowy yard, still wearing the horn-rimmed glasses that Remus remembered him wearing from school. And accompanying himself was the Minister of Magic, Scrimgeour himself, with his mane of graying hair, limping slightly as he walked. But though everybody else remained distracted by the Percy and the Minister's approach Remus sat there feeling stunned.

It was him. Entirely him…Sirius's death might have been the cause of this downward spiral for Tonks but it had plummeted out of control because of him. He had to talk to her now…he had to make her truly understand.

He pushed away his plate of food not feeling very hungry any more and made up his mind on how to approach the task on hand.

* * *

Remus stood on Tonks's snowy front doorstep rehearsing the lines he had composed in his mind and desperately tried to steady his nerves. It was quite late now and the shadows that filled the streets and surrounding alleyways near Tonks's place were causing Remus to feel uneasy. Perhaps living in a pack of werewolves where you were always being watched from the shadows had caused him to become slightly paranoid. He turned around to look at the mouth of a dark alley to his right and felt a surge of adrenaline as he saw a pair of eyes from the shadows. 

He blinked and the apparition was gone. He stared at the dark spot for a moment wondering if he was going truly mad or if there had been a pair of eyes there-

_Probably just a stray cat…I could give Mad-Eye a run for his money now_. He thought as he shook off the uneasy feeling. He turned back to the door, took a deep breath and knocked apprehensively.

A moment's pause and then-

"ALRIGHT! I'VE HAD IT! I'VE WARNED YOU BASTARDS TO SOD OFF THE WHOLE BLOODY DAY! THIS IS IT!!!!" Tonks yelled from inside the house. Remus could hear her stomping to the front door and he drew back a few steps wondering if this had been a very bad idea.

"I"VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR 'GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN' AND 'JINGLE BELLS'! HOW THE **HELL** AM I SUPPOSED TO REST OR BE MERRY WHEN YOU LOT KEEP-?"

The door swung open to reveal a pale, mousy-haired Nymphadora Tonks in her pajamas and a fuzzy bathrobe who was looking utterly furious. She stared at him, obviously startled on her front door step and lowered her raised wand. His breath had caught at the sight of her- he hadn't been so close to her in ages. The sound of her voice- seeing her pale heart-shaped face again- it brought back thousands of memories that he had forced to the back of his mind and to his dreams while during his time among the pack.

Her hair was still wet; she must have just come out of the shower-

Vanilla. He smelled that bloody, intoxicating vanilla- he knew it had been a bad idea to come here.

"Oh." She said dully as she tightened her fuzzy bathrobe without looking at him. "It's you. I thought it was the bloody carolers again, they've been at my door all day."

Remus noticed with a sharp pang of his heart that Tonks looked very ill. She had shadows under her eyes, she looked exhausted and her wet hair was a mousy-brown hair colour.

"Can I come in for a moment?" he asked.

"Sure." She said, looking concerned. "This hasn't got anything to do with the Order does it? I mean, I just saw Dumbledore recently and he said-"

"Everyone's fine." He said, walking inside, wiping his wet boots on the rug. He glanced quickly around the place and saw it was much more messier than from what he had previously remembered. "It's just that Molly mentioned you were spending Christmas alone."

She looked startled. "Is that why you're here then? To visit me?"

"No one should be alone on Christmas."

"That doesn't hold a lot of merit coming from the man who spent thirteen Christmas's by himself." She smiled, but there was no humour in it.

"I didn't have many options then. Molly said she invited you but you didn't want to come. Why?"

"I'm finding it hard to believe that you couldn't guess."

Remus bit his lip. He had been afraid of this. "Tonks, if this has anything to do with my being there-"

"I just didn't feel like going, alright?" she said bitterly.

"Tonks," Remus said softly. "I understand that this whole thing is difficult but if you let go of everything-"

"Have YOU let go of everything?" She interrupted.

He refused to answer her retort. "-that happened between us, it will make life much easier."

"For whom?" she said loudly. And her furious expression was so similar to that of Sirius, Remus found himself momentarily speechless. "Have you ever suffered from unrequited love Remus? It sucks."

"Nymphadora-"  
"My name is Tonks!" she said angrily.

"Love hurts, it can hurt us more than our enemies can which is why you need to forget about me."

"Remus, I've had a lot of different opinions of what you were but I never thought you to be a coward."

He looked at her in shock. That had been a low blow. "What are you talking about?"

"You're afraid of LOVE!" she yelled. A rainbow of sparks shot out from the end of her wand that she still had in her hand. "You always talk as if you could never love someone or they could never love you! YOU'RE the one who's afraid of being hurt because of love-"

"Tonks, I'm afraid that other people will be hurt because of me! I'm a werewolf-"

"SO WHAT!?!?" cried Tonks. "You have told me that a hundred times! I DON'T CARE!" If I did care do you think I'd still be despairing after you? I'm not stupid either! I am fully aware of all the possibilities that could happen to the both of us if were together and I'm willing to accept them!"

"Tonks, this is just as difficult for me. Your unrequited love isn't entirely unrequited you know. I confess… I am a coward. I'm afraid to see you suffer for and because of me."

"Why are you being such a prat about this? I'm willing to take a risk and try to have something work between us but you still won't even try!"

"I care about your happiness more than mine. Seeing you truly happy would make me happy even if at first it hurt me. It's causing me pain to see you like this, I want you to be happy."

"Then you shouldn't have bothered to come around because I'll never be happy if you're not there despite whatever you may think. You're not being honourable! Your being stupid seeing as you can't spot the fact that you're the only one for me and not anyone else."

Her words were so venomous and harsh that Remus could think of no reply.

She looked at him bitterly. "Forget it. This conversation won't get us anywhere. I figured that out on my own months ago. Do you want a cup of tea or something-?"

"I'm fine, but Dora-"

"Tonks." She snapped. "How are the Weasleys?"

"Their all doing fine, but Harry said that your Patronus had changed." He said quickly before she had a chance to interrupt.

Tonks's cheeks turned pink. "Word gets around fast then. Round, round, round, round- I get around." She sang.

"When did this happen?" Remus asked sternly.

"Awhile ago." she shrugged. "But what's the big deal?"

"Tonks, your metamorphosing is down, your patronus had changed to: 'a big four legged creature' according to Harry... this is all very serious." he paused and reflected on his last word. "This doesn't have anything to do with Sirius, does it?" he asked quietly.

"No. We've been over this already. This all started happening after you took a noble stand of, 'to old, too poor…too DANGEROUS'.

"Tonks, I-"

But Tonks took a furious step towards him and looked as if she were on the verge of physically slapping him. "It's YOU! YOU STUPID PRAT! I LOVE YOU! I—BLOODY—LOVE YOU! AND I'VE TRIED TO PUSH YOU AWAY BUT I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT! ALL I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT YOU! IF YOU'RE ALRIGHT? IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE? IF YOU EVEN LOVE ME BACK STILL?!?!"

Remus stared at her in stunned silence.

Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath for a moment before speaking again in a much calmer voice, "Remus forget it. Just drop it. I get it alright? I've given up hope now. I'll just die from unrequited love-"

"Tonks, please try to understand. There's still hope for you. It doesn't seem that way but I know that there is."

She shook her head. "Just keep telling yourself that Remus."

"Tonks, please don't have me be the cause of your suffering. I'm not worth it."

She stared at him defiantly.

With a sad sigh, Remus stuck his hand into his robes and pulled out a neatly wrapped box. "Here." He said giving it to her. "It's your Christmas present." He turned to leave but Tonks suddenly spoke up.

"Remus…wait."

He paused and watched as Tonks raced into the back part of the apartment before coming back a few moments later with a shoddily wrapped lump. "Here's yours." She said as she gave it to him. "I'm sorry about the poor wrap job."

"No, its fine." he said turning it over in his hands, privately wondering how it was possible to wrap a gift so terribly. Not even a drunken Sirius was that bad.

A long and awkward pause followed.

"Well," said Remus finally, pocketing the present. "I'd better be off."

She nodded and Remus noticed her eyes were starting to well with tears even though a single one didn't fall. "Happy Christmas, Remus."

"Happy Christmas Tonks." he said.

He turned around, opened the door and started walking off into the snowy night, trying to push her brave but crestfallen face from his mind-

"REMUS!"

_Oh no…what is it now?_

He turned to see her running towards him in the snow, bathrobe flying behind her wearing nothing on her bare feet-

"Tonks! What're you doing? Get your slippers on at least!"

She came skidding up to him, stopping just in front of him.

"YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD!" she cried throwing a handful of snow at him.

He gaped at her, too stunned now to even bother brushing the snow off. "WHAT?"

She picked up more snow from the ground and started throwing it at him.

"Tonks, do you have an idea how childish this looks?"

"YOU DON'T GIVE A **DAMN** ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU THE MOST YOU SELFISH ARSE-"

"I do!" Remus said desperately.

"WELL WHY DON'T YOU TRYING SHOWING IT FOR JUST ONCE?"

" Dora-"

"OBVIOUSLY COULDN'T CARE ABOUT ME THAT MUCH IF YOU WERE MORE THAN READY TO WALK OUT THE DOOR BACK THERE WITHOUT A BACKWARDS GLANCE-"

"Dora, listen-"

"-WON'T EVEN TRY DESPITE THE FACT THAT I STILL WANT TO TAKE A CHANCE AND-"

"-Dora!"

"-DON'T EVEN LOVE ME DO YOU? I SHOULD'VE-"

"**I DO LOVE YOU**!" Remus bellowed finally losing patience.

Her eyes widened and she dropped the snowball she had been in the process of making from her hands.

"What?" she whispered.

Remus could only stare at her as the snow flew about them. The pause lengthened considerably-

Remus turned away again ready to disapparate-

"Wait! Remus, WAIT!"

Tonks ran in front of him- a desperate look on her pale face.

"Tonks please-"

"You just said you still loved me-"

"I…I…"

"You said it- you can't deny it this time- I heard it and I think the whole bloody street heard it-"

Remus was going to say he didn't mean it but he couldn't- he was sick of lying- sick of denying everything that life threw at him. But to admit it would be ten times worse- so he said nothing.

"Remus?"

He pushed past her and walked into the darkness.

"KISS ME!" Tonks shouted.

Remus blinked, completely thrown by her words and turned around. "What?!?!"

"Kiss me!" she cried, her eyes overflowing with tears. "Kiss me and then tell me you don't love me. If you do I promise I won't ever bring this up again."

He took a step backwards, the falling snow still spitting around them. "I- I, can't Dora." He wondered if he was talking about the kiss or the not loving her part-

She was glaring. "Do it." She said in a low voice.

His self restraint would never hold- he knew it wouldn't and she probably knew it too. "This…it- it has now purpose or point!" he stammered weakly.

"I'm starting to seriously wonder if your man enough or lost all your courage after the fight at the Ministry, Remus." Tonks snapped. "How the hell did you ever get snorted into Gryffindor?"

It was if she had slapped him. He couldn't move…couldn't even think. He turned away again, about to disapparate into the snowy darkness.

"Coward."

She spoke quite calmly and yet the coldness in her voice hit him harder than a whip.

He couldn't remember the last time he had been filled this quickly with boiling anger. Everything, all the experiences and emotions in the past few hellish months that had built up to this moment, seemed to break like a dam- Suddenly he heard a crunching in the snow behind him. Tonks was walking away.

He spun around and grabbed her arm tightly before roughly pulling her to him. He just barely glimpsed the surprise and fear in her eyes before he covered her lips with his as if he had meant to do it all along.

It was a fierce, hungry kiss that Remus until then did not know he was capable of producing. But all at once, his heart was thumping furiously, his pulse racing through his veins, the world spinning- because kissing Tonks and just holding her tightly in his arms was biting off more than he could chew- It was causing all the firm resolutions and vows he had made concerning her to shatter and fall to pieces. He forgot everything and surrendered to the blissful delirium that was produced from her eager lips and his insistent own.

Tonks was kissing him back just as firmly and feverishly as he was. He could taste the longing and the hunger on her lips as the warm kiss deepened and as he kissed her he found one hand of his moving up to her wet head and pushing back her wet tangled hair that was stuck to the side of her face. Tonks was trembling in his arms, and he wondered numbly if it was from the cold or something else.

And it was then in the heat of their passionate kiss when Remus realized something beneath his thumping heart, and racing pulse- underneath the swimming senses and the sheer heaven of wanting to kiss Tonks like this forever- he heard an angry voice in his head-

_NO!_

His eyes flew open and he tore away from her suddenly with a ragged, gasp- there was confusion mingled with surprise and hurt in her dark eyes.

It had been madness to come here.

Without a single word, and before she could say or do anything- he dispparated into the night. He had apparated to one of the many parks in London where hopefully he could gather his scrambled thoughts.

He had barely taken a few steps down the snowy road when he realized something terrible that fell over his scrambled thoughts like a bucket full of ice cold water.

He realized that after kissing Tonks he had never actually said he didn't love her.

It would have been a lie to say so of course- but to kiss her like that and then never say he didn't love her- that had been the whole point of kissing her, wasn't it?

A group of carolers went by singing a popular Christmas song as Remus sat down on a snowy park bench and put his head in his cold, pale hands feeling that this indeed had to be the worst Christmas of his entire miserable life.

* * *

_Author's note: Hehe. :D_


	20. The Season of Giving

_Author's note:__ Sorry it took me so long to update- crazy shite has been happening. Writing time for me these days is limited at best. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-The Season of Giving**

_Damn._

That seemed to be the only thought Nympadora Tonks was capable of thinking after Remus's hasty departure.

How could he snog the living daylights out of her and just LEAVE?!?!?

_Oh…my…god.. Damn!_

Tonks flopped herself down on her couch, still feeling dizzy and lightheaded. If he hadn't been holding her so painfully tight when they were kissing, she probably would have collapsed. Her knees could barely stand it.

And what a bloody kiss.

Alright, so he had scared the crap out of her like that when he jerked her around so fast and pulled her towards him- but she actually LIKED it when he was angrily kissing her like that. Kinda sexy.

Alright, not 'kinda sexy'- it was a 'bloody fantastic full-blown turn on'.

If that's what kisses were like from Remus Lupin when he was angry, she was going to make it her mission to get him as pissed off as possible in the future.

_If there is a future_. She frowned.

Her bleak thoughts couldn't take hold for very long though- she immediately thought of Remus again. At his gentle knocking she had flung open the door expecting to see fleeing Christmas carolers in her angry wake and had found herself instead staring at the man she had long given up hope of ever seeing again.

The temptation to kiss him right there on the spot had been terribly overwhelming. He looked so pale and nervous standing there, and seemed much more sickly and thinner looking than the last time she had seen him.

Then he snogged her and left without another word-

_Bastard._

If he hadn't wanted to get her hopes up for them both, he had done exactly the WRONG thing.

It had not escaped her notice either that Remus had never said 'I don't love you' after he kissed her. She grinned at the thought and snuggled deep down into her cozy blanket that was lying on the couch. She was fairly certain too that he hadn't entirely forgotten to say so.

_He loves me. I __know__ he loves me- he can deny it all he wants but I know better now…_

Her patronus was him. So obviously him- when it first had changed it had surprised her more than anybody else but she couldn't say in all honesty she was too shocked. The man who protected her from everything- who wanted to protect her from everything, the man who was convinced he needed to protect her from himself by pulling away from her when she needed him most.

He was a stupid and noble man at the same time. What a Gryffindor.

She remembered the cutting words of a certain, greasy-haired git who had seen her new patronus,

_"I thought you were better off with the old one…the new one looks weak."_

She felt a surge of seething rage. The NERVE of that bastard. She remembered when Snape had said that, right after he had shut the gates in her face and she said goodbye Harry, she had spent the next fifteen minutes kicking rocks and throwing them all over the castle grounds like a mad woman.

Remus Lupin was NOT weak. He was the strongest man she knew and she would take grey hair over greasy hair any time.

Just to vent some of her pent up anger she threw a pillow across the room where it hit the mini Christmas tree she had attempted to set up and fell over onto the floor.

She didn't bother to go and pick it up, there were other things on her mind than fallen Christmas trees…

Tonks lay there staring at the ceiling feeling wide awake despite the late hour.

"Have yourself…a very little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on your troubles will be out of sight-"

She paused in her singing. She couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics to the song. "Here we are as in olden days…happy holidays- to youuuuuuu- friends or foes who are dear to us-"

She frowned. That couldn't be right. Oh well. "Gather here to ussssss once more-and…though our fears, we all will get together…we will be once…ner, ner, ner…oh! Bugger."

She made an early new years resolution to start taking singing lessons. She really did sound terrible.

Her eyes fell about the untidy room and landed suddenly on a neatly wrapped box by the front table.

The present!

She leapt to her feet, ran to the table and tripped on a bunch of dirty laundry lying there on the floor. Feeling too excited to feel her future bruises she reached the table and snatched the present up.

There wasn't a card.

She tore open the wrapping frantically and when she saw what it was, raised an eyebrow.

_Remus Lupin, you are such a man. _

Some nail polish, lotion and candles. Your basic holiday gift set you could find anywhere for last minute Christmas shoppers who realized they forgot to buy someone a present. She guessed he had picked out that particular set because the box was pink. She looked at him glumly for a moment, displeased with the thoughtlessness of the gift until her eye caught the label on one of the pink bottles-

_What the-!?!?! He obviously didn't read this too carefully. _She let out a snort of laughter.

'Anti-aging wrinkle cream' was on the bottom of one of bottle's label in tiny little print.

Of all people to give that too- she was a metamorphous for goodness sakes. Of course, with her morphing the way it was these days- who knew? Maybe she would be as wrinkled as Remus Lupin in a few years time if she couldn't fix herself up in time.

For a moment she considered sending it back to him with a huge circle around the 'Anti-aging wrinkle cream' label. As a joke of course, but knowing him he'd probably get sensitive about it and use it as his excuse that Tonks didn't really like him and was sending him a hidden message about how old he was.

She shook her head. _What a man. Didn't even read the bottle when he bought it?_

Strange as it was, the thought gave her comfort that Remus really was a typical man with all his faults and flaws.

_Ho. Ho. Ho. What a jolly bloody Christmas this is. _She thought as she flopped down on the couch again.

Perhaps it was a Christmas thing- Remus had officially kissed her last Christmas and this Christmas had followed in the same vein.

Was she doomed to spend the rest of her life waiting for Christmas for him to kiss her?

This certainly wasn't the type of thing you read about in dating books, not that she had any of course… (The one hidden under the bed didn't count, or the one disguised as an old teapot in the back of her hall closet).

'_Dear Agony Aunt- I love a werewolf who I KNOW loves me and tells me NOT to love him even though I do. He's going to get himself killed now and I want him to live so I can spend the rest of my days snogging and (hopefully) getting sexed out for the rest of eternity with him - what should I do?'_

Tonks for an answer hit the mental instant replay button in her head of the kiss they had shared in the snow. It didn't give her any ideas of what to do, but it was nice to reminisce about all the same.

Suddenly there came a shrill whistling noise from the coffee table, Tonks rolled over on the couch and frowned as she realized what it was.

Her present from Mad-Eye Moody this year consisted of a large sneakoscope. Tonks had one once before but she had lost it ages ago to the clutter in her house. She had been nagging Mad-Eye to get her a present for this Christmas for ages because he seemed to feel that gift-giving at this time was year was simply a convenient excuse for enemies to send poisoned or cursed packages. She had sent him a nice eye patch this year and also a copy of the book, 'Social elegance: Manners, Conversation and Charm for the Wizarding gentleman' (hoping that he might take the hint and get to work on his atrocious social skills-) but she had a feeling that they were both probably already a nice pile of ashes from a furious curse or two-

It took her a moment to find the whistling sneakoscope, as it was buried under some colourful wrapping paper- but when she did she frowned.

It was lit up and flashing as it spun about in her hand- an enemy was nearby?

Mad-Eye had to have gotten it from Dung or something. The thing was obviously malfunctioning- there was nobody around-

Suddenly a there was a loud bang out in the street and Tonks jumped to her feet- wand out as she ran to the window.

Some overturned dustbins rolling around the snowy street. Probably just a cat. She was getting paranoid. Mad-Eye would be proud.

She was just about to turn away again when the street lights illuminated something in the snowy street that made her heart stop and her mouth go dry-

Footprints.

From a dark alley to her front doorstep and back to the alley again. Mr. Rajit her muggle neighbor from across the street was cursing angrily as he leaned out his window, he apparently had been startled too by the loud noise and gone to investigate.

She opened the window and leaned outside a bit.

"What happened?" she called out.

"I heard a couple arguing earlier in the street but by the time I went outside to tell them off for being so noisy I saw a man by your dustbins-"

Tonks who had been grateful Mr. Rajit couldn't see her blushing in the winter darkness suddenly felt her heart stop.

"A man?" she called back.

"Yes-" Mr. Rajit said in his thick accent, "A tall, gangly man with long hair. Looked dodgy."

"Oh." Tonks said. It was really all she could think of to say. Despite all the terrifying thoughts flying through her mind, she was oddly calm.

"When I shouted, he ran." Mr. Rajit said, pointing to the dark alley. "I would lock your doors tonight if I were you young miss Tonks."

"Right…will do."

"Happy Christmas miss Tonks!"

"Yeah…you too, Mr. Rajit."

He shut his window and Tonks took one more look around the dark street before shutting her own. She locked it.

_Come'on Tonks, you're an auror- think rationally._

Someone had been watching her and Remus from the alley and afterwards nearly gotten to her front door if it weren't for the dustbins.

_Who would want to get me?_

She started laughing softly as the answer came immediately to mind,

_Oh, a few crazy family members on my Mum's side, a group of tattooed loonies, a bald villain, half of the Ministry- _

She carefully edged to the window again and looked about the darkened street and then stared at the alley wondering if someone was still there….waiting…watching…

Suddenly she noticed something- the sneakoscope was silent.

Her anti-intruder jinxes would defiantly pick something up if someone tried to break in, the sneakoscope seemed better than she would have originally believed-

_Still though, stay on guard…always stay on guard. 'Constant vigilance', as Mad-Eye would tell you…_

What bothered her more than anything was that she had no idea who the intruder was. Not even a remote clue or hint.

With a sigh she turned and picked up her mini fallen Christmas tree that was lying on the floor. If Remus knew she was being watched he probably would have stopped everything he was doing to come watch her- for a moment she entertained the notion of sending a patronus to him and telling him she was being watched...possibly at his own fault…

But no. The stupid prat would continue to be stupid and she'd just have to wait till next Christmas to get another snog.

Remus should've known at this point that she wasn't as helpless as she might seem. Everyone knew Metamorphous could change themselves to fit a situation and this time was no exception. Tonight had given her a whole new perceptive on the 'Remus problem'-

'Tis the season of giving. And the stupid holiday lotion gift exempted-Remus Lupin had given her the best gift in the world.

The gift of hope. She knew what she had to do...

Since Remus wouldn't, she was going to hold onto hope for them both now.

* * *

_Author's note: A rather short, pointless chapter, I know. Sorry. I'm expecting to get the next chapter up within the next day or two though-_

_Luckily Part II is winding to a dramatic close so that Part III which is much more fun can take off. I'm hoping to have the next six chapters up soon so I can dive into Part III._


	21. Friend of Dung

_Author's note: Oh, you will not BELIEVE this. My computer got the virus of the century and was killing everything in my system last night. I spent two frantic hours at the crack of dawn with my awesome roommate who knew how much all my stories meant to me even though she doesn't read them. My computer is screwed beyond belief, and has actually been taken away from me for repair, but my roommate at my frantic and desperate cries saved mostly all of my stories and most of the future chapters for this fanfic. As of now, I'm using a temporary replacement computer. Everybody thank my brilliant roommate if you love this story. _

* * *

**Chapter Twenty one- Friend of Dung**

"Lupin," Fenrir rasped. "Come here, we were just discussing the Dark Lord's recent plans."

Excellent. Just where he wanted to be, and yet he'd give anything to be miles away from that leering smile and the terrible smell of rancid flesh.

Since he had returned to the pack, everything had seemed a million times worse. He had come back a few months ago feeling resentful, bitter and had dragged himself back to the pack with great trepidation. It was a nightmare having to return back to the old way of living that he had endured up until that brief reprise at Christmas. Remus forced himself to walk over to Fenrir and a few other 'trusted' allies who were standing in a tight circle. Fenrir's smile widened as he allowed Remus to step into the ring.

"How did you like our most recent escapade?"

Just recently, Fenrir and several others of the pack brandishing various weapons had attacked a muggle convenience store for no reason what so ever except to simply vandalize and terrorize. The place had been smashed and destroyed but fortunately there were no deaths. Two muggles had been injured however and had to have their memories erased because Fenrir who had recently acquired a stolen wand had used it on them. Remus had been unaware of this, for as the other werewolves were smashing the place to bits (or in Michel Jacques's case- using kerosene to start burning the place down) Remus had been helping several other terrified muggles escape out the back of the building.

"Quite an eye opening experience." Remus said truthfully, and Fenrir chuckled.

"Tell me Lupin, have you ever heard of the Montgomery's?"

Remus shook his head. "No." he said mildly.

"Not even up at the school you worked at for a year?"

Remus thought about this, but try as he might, could not remember a Montgomery. He remembered a Slytherin named Montague whom he had told off repeatedly in his class for acting up, but couldn't recall a Montgomery.

"No?" Fenrir asked after watching Remus thinking. "Probably too young for school anyway at that time."

Remus frowned. "Who are they?"

But Fenrir waved his long, yellow-nailed hand dismissively. "Algea Montgomery, she's a mother of three, and her husband's a muggle." He spat derisively on the concrete floor before continuing, "She has a very high ranking position at the Ministry in the Floo Network Authority. Not a very prestigious job you might think, but with the amount of eavesdropping that goes on in there… Well to put it this way, the Dark Lord wants certain information. Information that only she could provide and yet refuses to give."

"The Imperius curse?" It was a question rather than a suggestion.

Fenrir laughed. "No, this time the Dark Lord realizes that a more careful approach must be taken in this particular situation. And he's kindly asked us to take part."

"Us?"

"Well, me." The werewolf said smugly. "The Dark Lord trusts me enough to get the job done properly for him."

_Trusts you? Ha. Any fool can recognize your bloodlust Fenrir and your determination to use it in whatever way is possible. It doesn't take the most powerful dark wizard of our time to figure that one out. _

But as Remus thought of this he suddenly realized what was actually at stake.

"You mean-?" Remus said hoarsely. "You're going to bite one of the children?"

Several of the other werewolves exchanged excited sniggers. Remus ignored them.

"Now, now Lupin-" Fenrir said as if he were talking to an overly impatient student. "That's not your business to know. I brought you over here to talk about…" he frowned, apparently thinking hard and then turned to the other werewolves, "What were we talking about again?"

"The news from down in Kent, a recently turned werewolf ran amuck and got caught." one said.

"Right." said Fenrir. He saw Remus's stony expression and smiled. "Don't worry Lupin, I'll make sure you get your chance one of these days."

Remus said nothing. Pretending to listen to the other's conversation about the Kent werewolf, he thought quickly…

Fenrir had asked if he had heard of the Montgomery's from school- there were three children. That meant at least one of them at least was young enough to be at home still and not attending school since the attack was obviously planned to take place soon.

The full moon was only a few days away. Would Fenrir strike now, or wait till the next full moon? Was Voldemort really intending to carry out his threat or was it simply a threat and nothing more-? More and more questions piled up in his head, all without answers.

And then suddenly a voice interrupted his thoughts, as well as the other werewolves' conversation. Vidar Clancy was standing there before them, telling them the recent news-

"-and so they back tracked and caught the man. He's being watched right now by Fredrick."

"And he found us here? How?" Fenrir asked.

"We don't know yet."

Fenrir turned to glance back suspiciously at Remus. "He's the third one who's found our hideaway within a few months. Perhaps we ought to find a new place to live, as it's getting too damn risky."

"If you know where to look and spend your time piecing the clues together you eventually figure it out." Remus said quietly. "It takes awhile though, since not too many wizards are keen in helping to find a lair of underground werewolves."

Fenrir raised an eyebrow at this and apparently satisfied with Remus's answer for now, nodded his agreement before turning back to the werewolf who had just addressed them.

"Well, Vidar- where did you say they were?"

"Right down the path here." said the werewolf, backing up respectfully as Fenrir pushed past him.

The other werewolves immediately fell into step behind Fenrir, talking excitedly but Remus lingered back to talk to Vidar.

"A newcomer?" he asked him curiously.

He nodded. "He's more than a little anxious. Probably just bitten somewhat recently from the looks of it."

Remus followed in silence for a moment before asking, "Fenrir said this man is the third person to find our hideaway recently. If this newcomer is one, and I'm one, who was the third?"

Vidar laughed quietly. "That was Michel Jacques."

Remus pondered this information for a moment. "How on earth did he find it?"

Vidar gave him a knowing look. "The kid's a delinquent. He'd figure anything illegal out."

"But he's a muggle. How did he even know where the pack was or even knew it existed?"

"Perhaps he still believed in fairy tales." Vidar said with a cold smile.

They had reached the ring of werewolves at last. Pushing his way forward Remus followed the other werewolves who had joined the large circle as Fenrir stepped into the center.

Fredrick Kemp was standing over a terrified looking man who was half-covered in shadows.

"Who is this?" Fenrir demanded.

"He won't tell me. He says that's he's spent a few months trying to find us and he just wants to join the pack."

"Werewolf?" Fenrir questioned as he walked up to the man, almost sniffing the air as if he could detect the fear.

"I am." The man stammered. He was obviously terrified. Remus moved to the side to get a better look and the movement seemed to attract the man's attention. His nervous eyes fell casually on Remus before immediately doing a double take.

Fenrir who was about to start the interrogation process looked over his shoulder to see what the prisoner was looking at.

The man was staring point blank at Remus, looking stunned. "I've seen you somewhere before, haven't I?"

The pack was absolutely silent now as they stared at them both, the loudest sound in the vaulted tunnel was the water steadily dripping from the cracked walls.

"I don't think so." Remus said honestly.

"No, I'm sure I have."

Remus staring at the man in the shadows wondered if the man was slightly off his rocker. "I don't believe we've met before."

"No, no, no!" the man exclaimed. "Your face and your voice-"

"Perhaps it was just somebody who looked-"

"-the hospital! That's where I saw you-"

Remus frowned. "I think you're just a little confused-"

"You were at St. Mungo's!"

And suddenly the penny dropped as the flash of recognition hit him.

_Oh…my…god…_

It was the werewolf from St Mungos. The one Remus had met over a year ago when he went with the Weasley family at Christmas to visit an injured Arthur from the snake attack. The man now in front of him had been lying beside the bed next to Mr. Weasely when Remus had gone over to talk to him at the time…

_"Hello." he had said with a kind smile._

_"Come to stare? Come to gawk at me?" snarled the man. _

_Remus had raised an eyebrow, not totally unprepared for this sort of reaction. "No." he said calmly. "Just wanted to say Happy Christmas."_

_The man let out an incredulous snort. "I'm a werewolf now." He said loudly. _

_"I heard." _

_He frowned. Obviously he had not expected such a calm reaction from Remus. "Who the hell are you?" he asked angrily._

_"It's not particularly important, but my name is Remus Lupin." He said, taking the chair beside the man's bed. _

_The werewolf's frown deepened. "Lupin?" he repeated. "That sounds awfully familiar…I might've read it somewhere perhaps?"_

_Remus smiled grimly. "I daresay you might have."_

_"And you have nothing better to do on Christmas day than sit at the bedside of a werewolf, Remus Lupin?"_

_"I figured you might appreciate the company."_

_The man looked highly suspicious. Behind him, Remus could hear the children making hasty excuses as they all but bolted from the wing-_

_There was a furious explosion from Mr. Weasley's bedside. _

_"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?!?!" Molly Weasley shrieked. _

_Remus ignored them for the moment. "Do you have any family?"_

_"Not really." The man spat. "And not any family that would stay by my side after this." _

_"A friend?"_

_"And if I say no are you going to ask if you want to be mine?" the man asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Are you a bloody lunatic or what? I'm a werewolf!"_

_Remus couldn't help but smile at the word 'lunatic'. "I think you'll find that if you are willing to extend a hand out in friendship to others there will always be someone who reaches for it despite the slaps and shoves from others."_

_The man stared shrewdly at him for a moment before flopping back onto his pillows._

_"I wish I was dead." he moaned. "It'd be better than having to live like this now."_

_"It's not so bad." Remus said. "I recommend chocolate after full moons and some tea. I found that it works best for me when I'm trying to recover." _

_The man's mouth dropped as he finally realized what Remus was saying. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's shouting match had reached such a decibel Remus was positive it would be impossible to hear anything. _

_"Fellow werewolf, Remus John Lupin…" he said as he reached over and firmly shook the man's hand. "Happy Christmas."_

And with that farewell he offered the man an encouraging smile and left the wing...

Remus could only stare numbly now at the same man before him now-

_THINK!_ screamed a frantic voice in his head. '_When you're going through hell, keep going!' Think for godsakes!_

Fenrir was looking from him to the other werewolf. "What did you say?" he asked the man in a low, threatening voice.

"You were with that family-" the man plowed on, oblivious to Fenrir's growing fury. "Red haired bunch…the Weasleys! That's who you were with."

Remus felt like he was going to be sick-

"The Weasley's?" Fenrir growled. "The blood-traitor Weasley's!?!?!"

"I'm sure it was them." The werewolf said quickly. "And then you talked to me for awhile."

Fenrir rounded on Remus with a snarl. "Is this true?"

There was a pause that seemed to last for eternity. The thing he had dreaded for months had finally started to happen. It was all starting to unravel.

"Yes."

Loud murmuring amongst the pack.

"And I suppose you'll want to share with us some wild excuse now?" Fenrir said loudly. The murmuring instantly stopped.

"I have the truth if you'd like to hear it." His hoarse voice was calmer than he thought it could be under this wretched situation.

There was absolute silence now, Remus took a deep breath and spoke, "I taught some of the Weasley children when I worked at Hogwarts for that short time a few years ago. In Saint Mungo's that day I was pretending to be their family friend and they were gullible enough to swallow it for a short time."

"Why pretend?" rasped Fenrir.

"I was working for somebody at that time who wanted me to befriend them."

"And that was…whom?" Fenrir drawled.

"A friend." Remus said evasively, his mind racing as he tried to come up with a believable story.

"A friend." repeated the werewolf.

"Yes." Remus said wildly. "I did have a friend for a short time, his name...his name was Mundungus Fletcher." _Dear god, I don't know if this lie is either sheer brilliance or sheer stupidity. _

"Dung?" piped up a voice from the side. The thief, David Crawford had spoken up. "I worked with him once before. Sneaky bastard if there ever was one."

Fenrir's lip curled into a look of contempt but the rest of his face revealed no more emotion than that. "And this…Dung, asked you to befriend the Weasley's? Why?"

"Dung had a grudge against Arthur Weasley who had raided his apartment the year before and discovered the illegal bewitched teapots that he had been selling as muggle-baiting."

It was almost the perfect lie…

…almost.

"So what did Dung want you to do?" Fenrir asked.

There was the shortest of pauses as Remus's mind created yet another plausible lie-

"Dung was hoping that I might be able to plant some incriminating evidence in the Weasley household to convict them of breaking Arthur's own 'Muggle Protection Act'."

"And why did you choose to go along with this?"

"It paid well."

"And did you go through with it?"

"Unfortunately, Dung's plans were abandoned when his import of exploding Japanese table lamps fell through."

From one of the sides of the circle, Randolph Horrell was watching him intently, his grey eyes burning with a cold fire. Fenrir was staring at Remus as if he had never seen him before and the werewolf on the ground looked utterly bewildered at the scene before him.

"We'll deal with this later." decided Fenrir, but the werewolf on the ground suddenly spoke up,

"Is this what you meant than that day when you said 'if you're willing to extend a hand out in friendship to others there will always be someone who reaches for it?'"

Remus nodded furiously, though inside he felt like kicking something.

_No! That isn't what I meant you bloody fool!_

But it was a hopeless situation. Either he agreed with the man or more suspicion was thrown on his quickly deteriorating reputation.

"Yes." Said Randolph's icy, clipped voice from the side. "Between working with us or Mundungus Fletcher, it's quite a difficult decision." The sarcasm was quite audible in his menacing voice.

"As I said," snapped Fenrir impatiently. "We'll deal with this later."

Randolph said nothing, perhaps not wanting to irritate the leader of the pack even more, or perhaps because he had already gotten his point across.

The new werewolf was dragged away to be interrogated privately- very much unlike how Remus had been treated and questioned when he first arrived. But Remus had more important things on his mind. As the crowd of werewolves left behind started to dissolve he quickly pushed his way through the tight throng to head back to the spot where he lived in the Underground. Fenrir still believed he was trustworthy…for now. He hadn't had the pack tear him to pieces back there, which considering the way things were run among the pack these days, could possibly be considered as a great act of mercy-

Suddenly he stumbled forward as he felt somebody bump into him roughly from behind.

He turned to see Randolph, walking by- a sly smile on his pale face.

"Goodnight Remus Lupin...friend of Dung."

Remus said nothing, but watched as the long-haired man walked away before heading down the dark path he had originally planned on taking.

He had a terrible feeling that Fenrir might go through with the probable attack of this Montgomery family and he needed to act quickly in alerting the Order so they could inform the Ministry just in case. After all, it was better to be safe than sorry. And he also had to send a message to them telling them all to keep a close eye on Mundungus Fletcher. The shady criminal was good at not being caught, but still…just in case.

He sighed. How on earth he had gotten out of that tight spot, he'd never known. At least he had been able to come up with a quick, plausible lie on the spur of the-

He froze. He had just reached for where he always kept his wand-

And it was gone.

Frantically he began searching for it, his pale hands desperately trying to find the wand that was not there.

He couldn't have lost it. He was far too careful for that-

Which meant somebody had to have stolen it. The moon in the night sky these days was nearly full. And a little child was in danger.

It seemed then that the hell he had been going through for the past few months, was merely a prelude to what now lay in store.

* * *

_Author's note: And thanks to you "Celtic Werewolf", Fenrir Greyback will forever have a southern drawl and gold, Fred Astaire top hat. Thanks a lot. _

_For everyone else who has no idea what I'm talking about- please excuse my insanity. And sorry this was such a short, crappily written chapter but hell, at least I'm still alive and half of my computer files are._


	22. Anxiety

_Author's note: Thank you so much __all__ of you for the kind reviews! I wish I could thank each and every one of you personally, but I'm so busy with trying to write this fanfic! Lol. THANK YOU!_

_So yes, the ball is finally rolling, and the suspense heightens…unless you've read the Harry Potter series and you know what the hell is going to happen._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty two- Anxiety**

"Hey…HEY!"

Remus woke with a start, looking about frantically.

Michel was standing over him, glaring furiously at Remus, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I fell asleep."

"That's my sodding blanket you're using to fall asleep with!"

Remus eyed the filthy, ratted blanket he had unconsciously used to keep himself warm with as he slept. As he stared at it- a white maggot crawled over one of the lumps in the blanket and fell off to the side. He suppressed a shudder and handed it back to Michel who snatched it from him as if were made of gold.

"Don't take my stuff again old man."

"Fair enough."

Michel wrapped himself up in the blanket and flopped down beside an old busted grate. Remus noticed the young man had gotten thinner than usual and his mop of untidy hair was filthy.

"What're ya looking at?" he asked angrily as he caught Remus staring at him from across the pathetic fire.

"I'm trying to make out what your tattoo is of."

He looked thrown back by the question. "Which one?"

"The one on your neck."

"Oh! My black widow?" he asked proudly. "Yeah- its tough looking, 'innit?"

Remus nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "It is."

"Hurt like a bitch when they did it though- they had to shave some of my hair cuz it goes around in the back- see?" he said, twisting his head so Remus could get a better view. "And then they did it right over that scar-"

"How did you get that?"

"In a fight." Michel said smugly. "Bastard came at me with a broken bottle and just missed my head."

"You don't say."

"Yeah…" Michel said nodding his head. "We beat 'em though."

"Mm." Remus said, poking the weak fire back to life with a piece of wire used as a poker.

"Bet you've never been in a fight before, old man."

"I have actually." Remus said coolly. "And by the way, I'm thirty eight."

"Wha'?"

"I'm thirty eight."

"No fuckin way!"

Remus felt a ghost of a smile appear on his face. "It's true. My birthday was a few days ago."

"You're shitting me!"

"No, I'm not. How old did you think I am?"

"I dunno. Christ- you look like hell for thirty eight…"

"Thank you." Remus said dryly.

"You've got like grey hair already-"

"Yes, I'm well aware of it. How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

Remus nodded. _This kid is way too young to be messed up in all this… _

"So when were you in a fight?" Michel asked him curiously.

"Once at school- with some of my old…friends and another group of people." He decided to leave out the information he had been in several nasty fights when serving the first and second Order of the Phoenix.

"What did you use?"

"Wands…but soon it fell into fists."

"Any knifes? Guns?" Michel asked eagerly.

Remus shook his head.

"Hell." Michel snorted. "You guys are all boring."

"Wizards you mean?"

"Hell yeah. None of you do anything except wave those pieces of wood around-"

"Those pieces of wood can cause quite a bit of damage though spells."

"I think its bullshit, guns work way better."

Remus sighed but said nothing to contradict the young man. He had a lot to do. He stood up, "I'm going to find Fenrir and see what's going on."

"Good luck with that." Michel yawned as he rolled over to prepare to get some rest.

Remus frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he's gone."

"Gone?" Remus asked- his heart thumping furiously. "Gone where?"

"To stake out where he's going to be for tomorrow night- I heard him talking to Randolph, he's gonna try to attack that Montgomery boy afterall."

His heart which had just been pounding frantically seconds ago, suddenly stopped. "What?"

"Yeah. Fenrir's going through with it."

"Why?"

"Why?" Michel laughed. "Because the Dark Lord is pissed- the boys mother still doesn't want to cooperate with them and so he's got Fenrir to go take a bite outta the little brat."

Remus's mouth was paper dry…

Michel lay down on his blanket, a grin still on his pale, sickly features. "All I can say is that that kid better beware of the big bad wolf."

* * *

It was singularly the worst situation Remus Lupin had ever found himself in. 

He still had no wand on him. What was the point of being an undercover spy if you couldn't even get messages out to the people you were spying for?' The pack within a few short hours of the new arrival had been watching him more closely and suspiciously than they had when he first arrived-

He didn't have Wolfsbane for the upcoming full moon, and how he could possibly stop Fenrir himself, he had no idea.

_Options Remus! Think of your options…_

He had to send out an alert to the Order or the Ministry now, that much was obvious. But how was another matter entirely.

He stopped short. There was a Ministry alert box in the area. Alert boxes were precautions taking during wizarding wars- hardly used the rest of the time but in dark times they were activated and put into full use.

As a matter of fact, Ministry alert boxes were quite common in London during the Muggle WWII with the Battle of-

_Stop it Remus! You're not a student in 'History of magic' again!_

The concept enough was simple, a witch or wizard would send a written tip off or information concerning an upcoming emergency into the box which would transport the message anonymously to the Ministry alert staff. It was a much cleaner system to use than owls, especially in the crowded city of London.

He knew there was an alert box relatively nearby, but it would he impossible to get there without drawing suspicion-

And besides, he didn't even have a scrap piece of paper on him.

He stuck his hands into his trouser pockets.

_And to think just about a year ago this was my best outfit. _He thought wryly.

Suddenly something rough brushed against his hand. He frowned as his hand closed around the worn foreign object.

He pulled it out and stared at it in stunned disbelief.

Perhaps there was still hope.

His mind began to formulate a plan.

He needed to get to that alert box now, and for that he needed-

* * *

"Michel!" Remus hissed. "Are you sure this is a good idea going out like this?" 

"Relax old man." replied the the tattooed boy at his side. "Consider this a late birthday present."

Remus had managed to get out of the Underground with Michel Jacques's help. Upon Remus's return and him casually mentioning the want of a strong drink, Michel jumped at the chance. Remus felt a twinge of guilt that he was only feeding fire to the young man's growing addiction for alcohol, but Remus had played his hand perfectly until within a few short minutes Michel was all but dragging him out of the Underground.

But Remus was still keeping up a good show of acting nervous. As he looked about for the alert box, a thought suddenly struck him-

"Michel?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you find the Pack?"

The boys head whipped around as he shot Remus a cold, suspicious glare. "Why do you care?"

"Just wondering. I just realized I never actually asked you."

Michel made a sour face as if he had just swallowed a lemon and then apparently after a moment of thinking said,

"It's none of your business old man."

"But you were bit by Randolph you said, so how on earth did you find the Pack?"

Michel stared coldly at Remus for a moment before finally saying in an unusually quiet voice, "Bronagh."

Remus stumbled in his shock but caught himself just in time. "What?"

"Bronagh, that werewolf that Fenrir killed awhile back. She found me by accident and told me where to go."

_Oh Bronagh…_

"Yeah." Michel said quietly, talking more to himself than Remus. "She was alright."

"She was a good woman." Remus said firmly.

Michel stopped dead in his tracks and wheeled on him, "You better not let Fenrir hear you talk any of that shit or he'll do you in too."

"I know."

"Still though…" Michel said thoughtfully and then shook his head as if shaking off his thoughts, "Come'on then- let's go."

"I thought we were going to a pub." Remus frowned as he saw Michel zip up his grimy coat to his chin and start fishing around in his pockets for something.

"Yeah, we are- but we gotta get the money first don't we?"

_Oh sweet Merlin, no- not again._

Michel had just pulled out the black ski mask Remus had seen more times than he would have liked.

"Michel please-" But before he could properly start an argument, something caught his eye.

An old fashioned, busted post box with chipped paint stood there at the corner of the road, looking oddly forlorn from its relatively deserted spot.

"-and so that's why you and me didn't head over to Mayfair because we-"

"Right." Remus said quickly, cutting off Michel's argument. "Listen, I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, do you think we could just wait here for a moment and…and, get a quick breath of fresh air?"

Michel let out a loud incredulous snort. "Don't think you can fool me old man!" he sneered jabbing a finger in Remus's chest. "I know the truth about you!"

"What?" Remus asked nervously.

Michel nodded smugly. "That's right."

"Michel listen-"

"-but since today's your birthday or whatever I'll let you off the hook. I know you don't like robbing banks, I've known it all along."

There was a short pause.

"Really?" Remus said, just barely managing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "How on earth did you know?"

"I pieced it together like that." said the young man. "But for today I'll do the job on my own and you wait here for a minute, alright? We'll have to run as soon as I get out though."

"Right of course."

"Back in a minute." Michel said, before darting across the busy street to get to the bank on the other side.

Perhaps he ought to have cared more that Michel was about to rob a bank, but the opportunity this situation had presented was worth whatever small bought of trouble that would quickly follow. Remus watched Michel head inside the bank before running over to the Post box-

It had to be it, it just had to be-

And sure enough, right underneath the ordinary mail slot was the blessed tiny print-

'All mail from here goes directly to M.O.M. 62442 Section 34'

Suddenly, loud blaring alarms went off from across the street. Many late-night shoppers and others stopped dead in their tracks to look over at the bank.

Remus spied a half broken pen on the ground and seized it like it was gold. He hastily pulled what he had found earlier in his pocket and began to write-

Several cars had pulled over now to see what was going on.

Remus threw the tip off into the mail slot and turned around just in time to see the bank doors fly open and Michel Jacques in a ski mask come racing towards him.

"Shit man! They had the good kind of alarms in there!" Michel cried as they sprinted down the sidepath together, Remus right on the young man's heels.

They were quickly reaching the end of the street's long sidepath- before Remus could shout a suggestion of where they could go however, Michel had reached the end of the curb and leaped onto the back of a tourist bus that was slowly turning the corner.

Remus without thinking jumped as well and only through sheer luck managed to catch a hold of the back of the bus as it began to pick up speed.

Michel let out a loud whoop of obvious excitement and for a moment, as the wind whipped by them and the city's night lights cast wild colors and shadows on their faces- Remus was reminded suddenly of his dead friend who had been just as reckless and wild as the young man at his side.

* * *

Something was wrong. 

Tonks stared out the office windows where despite it being mid-afternoon, a steady grey drizzle was falling. Something was terribly wrong. She just knew it even though she couldn't properly explain it.

No one had heard anything lately from Remus. Since he had returned to the pack, he had kept them updated with messages on what was going on, but most recently there had been no news from him at all. Every one of those messages he had sent the Order had been a breath of relief for her, because she knew that even though things might be bad he was still alive at least.

And now there was nothing. No one in the Order had heard from him at all.

It frightened her.

She bit her lip nervously and then checked the time for the hundredth time that afternoon- she had to head up to Hogsmeade soon for her shift.

She stood up and pulled on her traveling cloak, thinking hard. Funny things were going on. Last weeks incident at that muggle convenience store for instance- store windows shattered, parts of the place burned and several muggles injured- it could have easily been dismissed as muggle vandalism….

If it weren't for the memory charms the Ministry had to perform on two terrified muggles and the obvious graffiti on the walls that suggested something otherwise.

Some of the Law Enforcement division officers were convinced the attack wasn't actually from Death Eaters at all but something more far more crude and savage-

A pack of werewolves.

The attack had been bothering her immensely the past few days and she wished there was someone to talk to about her suspicions and fears that concerned Remus-

She paused as a sudden thought came to mind. Perhaps there was someone she could talk to.

Tonks pulled her things together and walked down the hall ready to head over to Hogsmeade for her patrol that afternoon, all the while planning out a small detour…

* * *

Tonks fumed as she walked briskly down the deserted hallway of Hogwarts. He was gone. Dumbledore wasn't around, apparently off on one of his random trips again…it had been an utterly pointless trip on her part but even if the Headmaster had been there what on earth would she have said to him? 

'Hullo Headmaster, I'm worried about Remus, I'm afraid he's going to be or already has been hurt, do you know anything?'

She sounded like Molly Weasley- she really needed to get a grip on herself-

"OUCH!"

Up ahead was half of Harry Potter- slowly materializing as he hopped about unsteadily clutching his foot as his invisibility cloak slipped off of him.

"Harry?" she asked loudly and watched as he spun around in surprise and fell over onto the floor.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, scrambling up quickly to his feet.

Tonks decided to be honest. "I came to see Dumbeldore."

"His office isn't here." Harry said, looking at her closely. "Its round the other side of the castle, behind the gargoyle-"

"I know." said Tonks. "He's not there. Apparently he's gone away again."

"Has he?" said Harry as he gingerly placed his hurt foot on the floor. "Hey- you don't know where he goes, I suppose?"

"No." said Tonks._Although I wish I did- I'd love to give him a piece of my mind for sending Remus on this bloody stupid mission-_ she forced away the thought. She was going mad.

"What did you want to see him about?"

"Nothing in particular," Tonks lied as she picked absentmindly at the sleeve of her robe. "I just thought he might know what's going on…I've heard rumors…people getting hurt…"

"Yeah, I know, it's all been in the papers," said Harry. "That little kid trying to kill his-"

"The Prophet's often behind the times," said Tonks. That particular incident that Harry was talking about had happened quite awhile ago. The Prophet had been slowly and carefully releasing information that the Ministry gave them which altogether wasn't much. The Prophet felt it was better to keep those things quiet so that people wouldn't be more panicked than usual. A sudden thought came to mind- perhaps Harry… "You haven't had any letters from anyone in the Order recently?" she asked him.

"No one from the Order writes to me anymore, not since Sirius-"

To her utter horror and embarrassment she felt her eyes fill quickly with hot, itchy tears that she had no power over. _What was wrong with him? What was going on?_

She was suddenly aware that Harry was saying something to her, looking awkward.

"What?" Tonks asked. The tears were welling up faster than before. She'd be damned before she started crying in front of the boy. Quickly she made up a hasty departure- "Well…I'll see you around, Harry…"

She turned abruptly and headed quickly down the corridor, leaving behind an obviously confused and bewildered Harry.

She didn't wipe the tears away until she had turned the corner and was convinced no one would see her.

* * *

Returning to work, Tonks felt more morose than before. With no Dumbledore to speak to and no reprieve from the monotonous paperwork she had to file, work was going to be more of a pain than usual. And just to add to the icing on the cake, she was utterly exhausted. Putting in all the extra hours for the office and then the added work of the Order was starting to catch up to her. But it wasn't just the late hours that were making her so tired- trying to get to sleep at night was proving problematic- it took her hours to fall asleep and then only to wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night after having, heart racing nightmares about Remus being hurt or killed. 

She walked back in the office doors and walked wearily back to her cubicle, as she rounded the corner however, she stopped short.

Two ministry wizards were sitting there in her cubicle waiting for her-

"Nymphadora Tonks?"

"Yes?"

They both stood up. "We need you to come with us."

Her heart picked up pace. "Who are you?" she asked looking from one to the other.

"Ministry alert staff."

That much was obvious from their robes but Tonks still didn't move.

"You obviously don't trust us."

"Polyjuice potion can work wonders." She replied coolly.

The two men exchanged desperate looks.

"Look," said one of them calmly. "You're obviously a very capable and rightly suspicious auror, but we're just here to take you down the hall."

"What for?"

"A tip off that concerns you."

For a moment, Tonks was completely thrown. "Me?"

"It would be best if you came with us now so we could disclose the information to you in private."

Tonks, finally convinced- followed them out of her cubicle and out of the auror office. Only a few of the other aurors spared them questioning glance, but went back to their work after they had passed.

They headed down the hall, Tonks gripping her wand under her robes as they went. Finally they reached a small door which Tonks knew led to a private discussion room.

One of the men opened the door for her and after a nervous glance about it- Tonks stepped inside. The door shut gently behind her.

Tonks looked about the dimly lit room, completely non-pulsed. Sitting at one end of a small wooden table was a burly wizard and standing next to him a tall, sallow-faced wizard clutching a dark briefcase.

"Nymphadora Tonks." stated the burly wizard.

Tonks swallowed nervously. "Yes?"

"Please sit down, we need an explanation."

Tonks sat down in the empty seat opposite the two wizards and looked at their stern, grave faces- "I'm sorry, of what?"

"Our office receives many panicked tip-offs a day. Many of them are false and many of them take time to translate and interpret but we are forced to consider each one carefully. Recently we received a written message that was sent to us via a Ministry alert box near Mayfair."

Tonks nodded, utterly confused as to what this had to do with her.

The sallow faced wizard opened his briefcase and pulled out a large folder which he opened and began searching through...

"We received this note here and after reading the subject matter and carefully analyzing it we were obviously obliged to get in touch with you." The burly wizard said with a nod to the other one.

The sallow faced wizard pulled a small, battered, lime-green card from the folder and handed it across the table to Tonks who took it from him wide-eyed.

Upon seeing it- she was struck by two things.

One, the small, dingy card read on the front 'To: Tonks, Get well soon' and looked as if had been torn off from something. She recognized the handwriting. Her friend, Aldwin Idle had sent a small vase of tulips to her in Saint Mungo's back when she was hurt in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. The only reason she knew this was because when she was joking around with him one day about not receiving a get well card from him when she was in the hospital, he was utterly perplexed, telling her he had indeed sent some tulips and a small card with it, (although he did admit he forgot to sign his name). Tonks has always assumed he had just forgot and lied to her since she never found the flowers...

The missing lime green card from Aldwin's vanished 'get well' bouquet seemed to have been found.

But secondly, and more importantly, as she flipped open the card and saw the familiar and slightly frantic scrawl that made up the body of the note, she felt her heart stop short and the blood in her veins momentarily freeze-

It was Remus Lupin's handwriting…

* * *

_Author's note: I'm working on the next chapter as you read this. Thanks again for all the appreciation. :D _


	23. The Full Moon

_Authors note: Thanks you all for your patience…I'm so sorry it took me forever to get this up. Things are not going well lately. A bit of a mental crisis...__ Ah well, here is this __insanely__ long and crapily written chapter to make things up to you…_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty three - The Full Moon**

_Oh my god… Remus…_

"Does this card look familiar?" the Ministry official asked suddenly, bringing her jammed mind back to the present.

Tonks's head snapped up. "No…I mean well no and yes. It's mine."

The sallow faced wizard let out a soft hiss. "And did you write the message?"

"No." said Tonks, thinking very quickly now.

They exchanged looks as Tonks thought furiously of what she could say. She didn't want to blow Remus's cover, blowing Remus's cover, meant blowing the Order's cover- blowing the Order's cover at this point- well, then Voldemort would rise to power within the week perhaps.

"Do you know who wrote it?" the burly wizard asked.

She needed time…time to think-

"I don't think so." She said coolly, "but can I read the message at least?"

The sallow faced wizard opened his mouth in protest but his friend interrupted with a gesture to silence his friend and said,

"Yes, please read it."

Tonks stared at the writing,

_'Tonks-Montgomery family in severe danger- esp. child. Move them or set up a guard to be ready for the full moon of this month (march). Expect a full out attack._

Dear God. Tonks was glad she was sitting otherwise she believed she would have collapsed right there on the spot. He was trying to warn them. No, not them- HER- he had used her card- she wondered why and how on earth he had gotten a hold of it. Perhaps he intended the message to reach her, or maybe he knew that the office might consider it more seriously… Questions raced through her head-

"There's a bit more on the back." The wizard added.

Tonks flipped over the card to see a series of scribble marks that looked as if Remus had been trying to get the ink in the pen to work before writing the main message.

"Perhaps another form of a message? A secret symbol?" the sallow faced wizard suggested.

Tonks resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I think he was just trying to get the pen to work."

"Who wrote the message?" the burly wizard immediately demanded.

"I don't know." Tonks lied. "But whoever it was obviously picked up my card as a scrap piece of paper or something because I don't remember anybody asking to borrow my 'get well' card as a Ministry tip-off."

"You have 'get well' cards lying around the place?"

"I'm a messy person." Tonks continued to lie- hoping it wasn't the worst one she could have come up with.

"So you don't think that-?"

"-one of my friends wrote this as a prank?" Tonks finished for him. "Absolutely not. All of my friends know how serious I am about my work."

The men both exchanged skeptical looks.

"Well at either rate we need to send a group over there right away-" Tonks said. "The family is in danger."

"It doesn't specify from what-"

Tonks pointed at the line that read 'for the full moon'. "It's obvious. Werewolves."

"So how on earth would a werewolf have gotten a hold of your card?" the sallow faced wizard asked her coldly.

"How on earth should I know?" Tonks snapped. "It's besides the point- and there's also the possibility that the tip-off came from someone who knows about it but isn't a werewolf themselves- did you think of that?"

"It's a possibility." The burly wizard confessed.

_Thank you…_Tonks thought in relief. With the way things had been going in the conversation, she was going to be caught in a lot of dragon shit. "Then perhaps we ought to send someone over there-"

"We don't know for sure if this for certain though." Said the wizard.

"It's better to be safe than sorry." Tonks said. "Just get this over to my division with a confirmation and I'll get a team over there as soon as possible."

"I'm afraid we can't do that."

Tonks who had been in the process of rising from her chair, froze. "Sorry?"

"According to regulations, we can't properly confirm this tip off as genuine unless we know who sent it and speak to them personally."

She stared at them in shock. "A family is in danger and you lot are worrying about regulations?!?!"

"It could very well be a trap." said the sallow-faced wizard.

"Trap of what?" Tonks exclaimed, feeling anger rising quickly within her. "A trap of Voldemort's?"

Both wizards flinched and Tonks inwardly cursed herself for using the name like that so recklessly. But now was no time to worry about something so trivial.

"A child is in danger and we can't do anything until we have a name, is that what you're telling me?" She froze suddenly as something on the opposing wall caught her eye. She felt the blood drain from her face.

"When did you get that tip off?" she asked, still staring at the clock.

"Now young lady," the sallow-faced wizard said snippily, "that is classified information-"

"It's the twenty fourth of March! The full moon is tonight!" she cried. "When did you get that tip-off?"  
They exchanged a nervous glance. "The other day." The burly wizard admitted.

Tonks stared at them in horror. "And you didn't alert us right away? You didn't alert the Montgomery's?!?!?"

"As of this point we feel there is no need or evidence to suggest a-"

But Tonks had heard all she needed to hear. With Remus's tip-off clenched tightly in her hand, she bolted from the room- ignoring the cries of protests of the Alert staff wizards from behind her and burst back into the Auror office.

"I need a team with me right now!" she shouted. "Anybody who's still here and ready to leave- come'on!"

Several startled faces appeared over the tops of their cubicles.

"What's going on Tonks?"

"Are you alright?"

"What happened?"

She opened her mouth to explain but suddenly was cut off-

"Nymphadora Tonks! What is the meaning of this!?!?!"

She turned around to see none other than her boss, Gawain Robards the Head of the Auror office and Pius Thicknesse, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. From the look of it, they had been reviewing some paperwork in Thicknesse's hands before being interrupted by her frantic arrival.

"Sir!" Tonks gasped. "It's an emergency! The Alert Staff received a tipoff and there's going to be an attack— a werewolf attack tonight sir, and-"

"This is most irregular." Robards frowned. "Causing a panic like this and creating disorder in the office-"

"Sir I don't think you understand, there's going to be an **attack**! Tonight!"

The frown deepened. "Surely the Alert Staff would have told us if there was a threat?"

"They just told me sir!"

"They should have reported any information to me though."

Tonks shook her head angrily. "It doesn't matter at this point who they reported to! We need to get over there as soon as possible! If I can take over a squad to go over there now and set up positions to guard the house-"

"Ms. Tonks, I appreciate your effort in this but I will take care of this now. **I** am the one who gives orders around here, and though your enthusiasm is appreciated-"

"ENTHUSIASM!?!?!" Tonks shouted. "A child is in danger, SIR!" She knew she was crossing a line here. She didn't have enough standing yet in the office to get away with mouthing off to her superiors, but the situation had given her the temporary insanity to stand up to her boss…

"Enough!" Robards roared. "Do not think that I do not care about the safety of other wizarding citizens! I will speak to the alert staff as soon as I am done going over this investigation with Pius here-"

"—but sir!"

"Ms. Tonks I am allowing you to leave early-"

She had not expected this. "WHAT?!?!"  
"I suggest you go home and take some rest. You are in obvious need of it. Come back in tomorrow with a clear head and-"

She was growing more and more outraged by the second.

"GO HOME?!?! Home? I'm more than willing to lead a group over there now and-"

"By standing here verbally haranguing me, I'm forced to believe otherwise!" Robards roared, his face turning a deep red. "As I stated earlier I will get in touch with the alert staff as soon as possible-"

"Do you know what a werewolf attack consists of, SIR?" Tonks spat, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Shall we look up the definition together? It involves a man who at the rise of the full moon turns into a murdering beast after loosing his sanity and normal demeanor-"

"Miss Tonks-"

"-they tend to attack innocent people, SIR. Innocent people that have NO WARNING of what's to come and hope that people like US will save them before the actual danger!"

But this seemed to have been the final straw for her red-faced boss.

"Proudfoot!" Robards bellowed. "Escort Ms. Tonks from the office please!"

Proudfoot stood up awkwardly, but Tonks gave him such a cold look, he froze.

"There's no need, sir." Tonks snarled to Robards. "I'm leaving."

She turned on her heel and strode quickly from the office, slamming the door behind her.

Never in the course of her entire life had she been as enraged as she was then. As she stormed down the hallway, a murderous look on her face, she managed to attract some startled glances from people.

At the end of the corridor she stopped suddenly, breathing hard as she tried to calm her furious thoughts.

_Someone's going to have to act on this and take charge- and from the look of it, its going to have to be me. _

She straightened up. Moody would be able to get the message out to the Order the fastest- She drew her wand to send her patronus as she retreated down a deserted side hallway.

Ontop of planning to alert the Order, another plan was starting to form in her mind. Tonks felt her nerves slowly start to turn into steely determination as her racing thoughts started to form a detailed operation. Robards wasn't going to be able to get rid of her that easily…

* * *

Remus was in a state of utter panic. 

It was tonight…the full moon would rise and the fate of an innocent child would be sealed.

Fenrir was gone, Remus hadn't seen him at all that day. The other werewolves were excited, and restless, anticipating the events that would take place later that night. Several werewolves had been keeping a close eye on him during the day, but as of now with the full moon about to rise- he wasn't on their top list of priorities anymore.

He had to head off Fenrir, distract him if all possible from actually going through with the attack. He couldn't rely on his tip off…it might never have gotten there in time. He had no wand, he couldn't apparate to the Montgomerys, and so instead Remus was running there. It felt woefully inadequate as a method of fast transportation.

There was a prime possibility he would end up blowing his cover during this- but if a boy's life was spared, it was worth it.

Remus had managed to escape the notice of the others for a moment and a moment was all he needed. He was racing along the side of a dark tunnel- taking an alternate, and much less used route out of the Underground. It was shorter and faster, but also much more dangerous since trains still used these tracks. Remus was staying as close to the dark slimy wall as much as possible. At one point, he thought he heard a train coming from down the tracks, but after a moment's pause he realized it was just his ears playing tricks on him.

He was nearly at the exit now; he was walking up on a small platform against the tunnel wall. He knew that around the bend was a popular station so he'd have to be wary coming out. If muggles saw him and reported him as a homeless person, the local police might head down the tunnel where they'd most likely encounter Fenrir and his vicious pack where Merlin only knew how that would-

"And where do you think you're off to tonight?" said a cold voice from the nearby shadows.

Remus wheeled around to see a tall, long haired man walking towards him into the dim flickering light.

"Randolph!" he said in shock. He managed to compose himself again quickly, "What do you want?"

But the werewolf seemed to have utterly ignored Remus's question. "You know for a spy you don't cover your own tracks very well."

Remus felt the blood drain from his face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, but I think you do." hissed the werewolf, stepping forward so that he was inches from Remus's face. The look in his grey eyes was absolutely murderous.

Though the game appeared to be up, Remus wouldn't give in so easily.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said coolly.

"You're a spy!" Randolph snarled. "You've been passing information about all our various attacks to the Ministry!"

"You're mad." Remus said calmly. Some part of him took an odd satisfaction in seeing Randolph growing more and more irate by the second, but the larger, more rational part of him realized he was not standing in a very good situation.

"Mad am I?" the long haired man spat. "Don't think I don't know what you've been doing! I was always one step ahead of you…just like I am now."

"And what are you ahead of me now?" Remus asked politely.

"You're going to stop Fenrir from attacking that Montgomery boy, but Fenrir's not stupid and neither am I- I'm here to stop you."

"Really?" Remus remarked dryly. "One man? What an opposition."  
Randolph's lip curled into a smile. "So you admit it."

Remus felt his heart skip a beat at his mistake. "No." he said calmly. "My business is my own, but I'm finding this whole…scenario a little ridiculous if truth be told."

"Ridiculous?" Randolph laughed, but there was no mirth in it. "I've been watching you Lupin and the one thing I think is so ridiculous is how thick you are not to have noticed that I've been trailing you for so long."

Remus had had enough. He had to stop Fenrir, not standing here dallying words with a werewolf with a bewildering grudge.

"Right." He said as he quickly stepped aside. To his surprise, Randolph did nothing.

"You know," Randolph said lazily from behind him, his words ringing off the dark tunnel walls. "It's amazing how much of a selfish arse you are…how little you care about other people…"

Remus stopped dead in his tracks. Those words sounded terrifyingly familiar.

"Do you know what I mean? No? Think back on Christmas. That bitch of yours….pretty little thing."

Remus felt the air leave his lungs as if he had received a blow to his gut.

But Randolph was far from finished. "It would be a pity if anything…unfortunate was to ever happen to her."

Remus wheeled around to face Randolph. Never in his entire life had he been so quickly filled with white-hot rage as he did then.

Randolph was smiling at his expression. "Yes, it would be a real shame. Wouldn't it?"

Before he could stop himself, or realize what he was doing, Remus lunged forward and caught an off-guard Randolph whom he slammed into the opposing brick wall. Remus was shaking so badly he could barely keep his breathing steady. He had no idea how Randolph knew about Tonks, but that wasn't what he cared about.

"Stay…away…from…her." He said in a low voice, his hands clenched into white fists as he gripped the front of Randolph's coat.

"Or what?" Randolph sneered, who didn't look as shaken as Remus had expected him to be. "You'll fight me?"

And then in a flash, before Remus could stop him- Randolph's hand plunged into his coat pocket and he pulled a familiar wand pointing it inches away from Remus's horrified face.

"Perhaps you should learn Lupin that it's always better to have the upper hand in a fight…reveal the trump card when victory is certain."

Remus felt his blood turn to ice. Randolph had his wand…But his mind was oddly focused on one thing as he eyed his wand in Randolph's grip for a moment.

"You were a wizard once, weren't you?" Remus asked quietly.

There was a flash of pain behind those cold grey eyes before it was immediately gone again.

"Perhaps." said the werewolf coldly.

In Remus's terrified mind, things were strangely falling into place now- "So that's why you always hated me then. Even from the start."

"Yes."

"Why?"  
"You tried to live as a wizard. Wizards cannot be trusted."

"But you were one once." Remus said. "Surely you remember what it was like."

"I had a fine life before I was bitten!" Randolph said angrily.

"And so because you lost that ideal life, you started taking out your anger and revenge on other innocent people?"

"Don't you dare try to lecture me Lupin about right and wrong like you did with the others."

"You're a murderer!" Remus said harshly. "You dragged Bronagh Morrison to her death! She hadn't done anything wrong and you murdered her for no point or purpose!"

"I had hoped that by her death you might learn a lesson- you were out of your league the moment you first set foot in this place Lupin."

"So you just used her to get to me?" Remus said, barely able to keep his voice under control. He was shaking uncontrollably now- almost as bad as he did when he was about to transform during the full moon…

…which wasn't that far away.

"Accurate observation." Randolph sneered. "But now, the game is up…the race has run its course which means," he brought the wand before Remus again. "Your part of the story ends here, Lupin."

But Remus didn't wait for it, he grabbed the end of his wand attempting to pull it to the side of Randolph who in retaliation, swung his fist.

It collided right on with the side of Remus's head who at the force of the blow, staggered backwards, his hand immediately flying to the side of his face.

He thought he could hear a familiar noise coming from down the dark tunnel, but he quickly forgot about it as Randolph brought Remus's wand down sending an attempted curse at him.

Remus ducked and all but tackled Randolph who at being caught off balance, fell backwards. Remus lunged for his wand which had started to roll away from Randolph's hand but an elbow to his windpipe prevented him from reaching it.

The two werewolves desperately grappled as they both attempted to reach for the wand, while in the meantime the noise coming from the dark tunnel was growing louder and louder by the second.

Randolph was attempting now to push Remus towards the tracks as he tried to make his way over to the wand. As a bright light suddenly appeared from the far end of the tunnel and began to grow, Remus realized with a jolt of horror what Randolph was trying to do to him. Avoiding a well aimed kick from Randolph, Remus slid forward under Randolph's reach and managed to clasp his fingers around the familiar piece of wood.

No sooner had his fingers grabbed the wand, he felt his head painfully get wrenched backwards by his hair, as Randolph attempted to pull him back. Remus desperately rolled onto his side where Randolph was forced to let go, but not without tearing a few strands of hair.

Remus lept to his feet, standing right on the edge of the platform and lifted his wand. The wind was rushing wildly as the train closed in on them. As Randolph jumped forward for the wand, Remus had just taken a step to the side in a frantic attempt to try to escape from the werewolf-

For a moment that seemed to stretch much longer than it actually was- the werewolf was suspended in mid air- his feet barely teetering upon the brink of the platform- Remus turned and threw out his hand without thinking but no sooner had he had- Randolph plunged forward.

He watched in horror as the werewolf's face contorted into a look of surprise as he fell onto the tracks. He didn't even have time to move as the dark train went rushing by. It went by so fast- Remus was thrown to the concrete ground from the force of the whipping wind which was so strong it seemed to be constricting the very air around him.

Luckily the noise of the speeding train was so loud, it covered any terrible, gut twisting noises he could have heard of Randolph's grisly end.

After what seemed ages, the last of the train went by and cautiously, with great trepidation Remus peeked over the edge of the platform and down onto the tracks.

At the sight, he threw himself back against the tunnel wall and closed his eyes, trying hard to fight back the wave of nausea. No one deserved to go like that, not even Randolph.

_Tonks…._

He hoped his message had reached her. He hoped that she was still even safe-

The sudden fear for Tonks's safety gave him a strange sort of strength. He straightened up and after a few deep breaths, picked up his fallen wand from the cold concrete ground. Remus held it for a moment, taking comfort in the fact that he was at least in possession of his wand again, though it had been at a hard cost, and with a quick turn of his heel, he apparated away with a loud crack that echoed through the tunnel even after he had gone.

* * *

"So this is the only information you have?" Robards frowned. 

"Yes." said the alert staff official. "We questioned that witch…er- Nymphadora Tonks about it, but she said she didn't know who had sent it."  
Robards frowned. "A werewolf attack on the Montgomerys? I have no idea what on earth they'd want with them…but still- Algea Montgomery is apart of the Floo Powder Network Authority. Has she been contacted?"

"Not yet sir." said the nervous, burly wizard.

Robards turned angrily on the spot and nearly collided into auror Markievicz who had just walked into the office.

"Excuse me, sir." said the grey haired woman as she continued to stride briskly into the office.

He waved it off and Nymphadora Tonks in the guise of auror Markievicz couldn't help but smile thinly as she walked away. Sometimes, it really did have its benefits being a metamorphous.

After sending a message to the Order she had concentrated with all her might on changing her appearance. She hadn't been able to do it for months, but perhaps it was because of Remus being involved in this emergency, it had given her the determination to pull it off for a few minutes.

As soon as she rounded the corner, she let the disguise slide and felt her features slowly shift back into the miserable one she had been carrying with her for several months.

"Wotcher you lot!" she said breathlessly as she fell upon her fellow aurors Williamson, Savage, Richards, several others (and to her great dismay, Apollo Hain) were standing there, talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Tonks!" exclaimed Richards in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"We have to go!" Tonks said. "A child is in danger- the Montgomery child-"

"Davey Montgomery?" frowned Williamson. "The son of Algea Montgomery?"

"Her son, yes."

Williamson looked bewildered. "I saw him with his Mother one day when she took him to work to show him around. He's not even six years old."

This news was not reassuring Tonks in the slightest. "Well he's in terrible danger, there's going to be a werewolf attack made on their house any minute now-"

"Didn't Robards tell you to leave earlier?"

Why were they all being so thick about this?

"A boy is in DANGER!" she said furiously. "What don't you lot understand about this? As Robards and the alert staff stand there arguing over the authenticity of the note or not- a child's life is at stake!"

"What if it's a false tip off?"

"It's not. The information is obviously coming from an insider."

"How would you know?" Hain asked pointedly, but Tonks ignored him.

"Or what if the tip off is really a trap?" Richards suggested.

Tonks glared. "Because You-know-who is going to set up a trap on a bunch of fore-warned, battle-ready aurors looking for a fight?"

"You never know." Williamson said darkly.

"We need to go now and not debate this any longer!" she said. "Who's with me?"

They all exchanged nervous glances before Richards spoke up, "But protocol says-"

"BOLLOCKS TO PROTOCOL!" Tonks shouted angrily. "Now please get your things together if you are an auror who joined with the intention of fighting dark wizards and saving innocent people!"

There was an awkward silence that hung in the air after her cutting words before a flurry of movement. Aurors began scrambling for their wands and cloaks as Tonks watched and waited.

In a few seconds, they were assembled.

"Alright." Tonks said, taking a deep breath. "I reckon we should try to head out the back of the office, around Fadiman's and Murray's cubicles, since their both gone this week and sneak out as Robards isn't paying attention right now to the door behind him."

She didn't wait long for their approval, and turned instead down the hallway to lead the way.

After a few seconds, they were nearly to the door. They had just rounded the corner and were half crouching behind the cubicles as Tonks began to estimate the distance to the door…

"So shall we take it in pairs? Remember we're apparating directly the Montgomery house once we get out of-"

"MISS TONKS!" bellowed a voice from nearby. They all turned to see Robards racing towards them. From the look on his face, Tonks expected him to blast her into oblivion but she set her jaw and raised her head defiantly.

Hain stepped forward at once. "Sir, this is all Nymphadora's fault- we were just about to escort her out of the-"

"Go!" he shouted, ignoring Hain completely. "Quickly! I'll send out some backup with some members from the Law Enforcement."

So he had come to his senses at last, but if they were too late Tonks was going to personally throttle him.

"Thank you sir!" she said, turning back to the crowd of aurors and a glaring Hain. "Let's go!"

She led the way as they raced to the door, where she nearly collided into a tall, broad shouldered black wizard who had just walked in.

"Kingsley!"

"What's going on?" he asked her sharply. From the look on his face, he already seemed to have gotten Mad-Eye's message.

"An attack! A werewolf attack at the Montgomerys! We're heading out now!"

"I will join you." He said grimly as he fell into step beside her.

Tonks felt her heart racing wildly. They were finally going…

* * *

Remus found himself in a dark forest clearing. This was it, somewhere nearby had to be the Montgomery's home, and closer still- Fenrir himself. He had limited time- he himself needed to find a place to transform before the full moon…but there were more pressing matters at hand. 

He felt utterly exhausted. The past few hours had been a downright nightmare. He looked about the dark clearing- perhaps he ought to go and find the family first? Where was Fenrir?

No sooner had he taken a step forward when there was a sudden snarling noise from his side and Remus glimpsed a dark shadow come right at him before he felt himself be thrown to the ground. His breath was shoved from his body and he could see stars winking from beneath his eyes from the force of which he had hit the ground with.

"Lupin…" Greyback growled, his long nailed hand clenched in a painful hold on Remus's throat. "Looking for me?"

Remus could only gasp for air for a moment as he tried to get it back. The tight hold on his neck was not helping. "You're needed—Randolph— is looking for you—!"

"Is he?" Greyback sneered- his pointed, yellow teeth were inches from Remus's face. Remus could feel the werewolf's hot, putrid breath on him. It was so foul it almost made him gag.

Remus nodded the best he could under Greyback's clawed grip on him. "He said you were to come immediately."

Fenrir Greyback laughed- it was horrible, feral, downright wicked snarl of laughter. His grip on Remus's neck tightened and he pulled Remus to his feet by his throat. "You know Lupin-" he rasped. "You sure had me fooled."

"I don't understand." Remus continued to lie, though his heart was slowly starting to race.

"Oh but I think you do." The werewolf leered, his grip on him not loosening in the slightest. "Still soft eh? Still a human at heart, huh? You think hurting little kiddies is bad, don't you?"

Remus said nothing.

Fenrir grinned. "How old were you when I bit you?"

Remus forced himself not to emotionally rise to the sensitive bait. "Five."

Fenrir's grin widened. "The same age as little Davey." He flung Remus backwards where he collided with a thick oak tree and fell to the forest floor.

Fenrir turned from him and began stalking the clearing- almost sniffing the air.

After a moment he stopped to gaze up into the rapidly darkening night sky. "Yes…" he said with a self-satisfied air. "I remember that-"

"Impossible." Remus said hoarsely.

"I planned it all." Fenrir smiled, as he turned back to face him, his face immensely satisfied. "I waited and planned it so carefully…the waiting- well, to be honest I didn't think you were going to live after I was through with you. Even I didn't mean for it to get as messy as it did. If I recall correctly, they all were convinced you weren't going to make it."

Remus said nothing. That much was true. He had indeed nearly died and although he was young and didn't realize it at the time, he had been very close to death from the whole terrible experience.

"But you recovered, and you tried to live alongside those humans…"

"My parents," Remus said stiffly. "encouraged me to live as normally as possible."

"Normally as possible!" Fenrir laughed. "What did they think you were? You are a werewolf…werewolves aren't normal wizards! Their powerful monsters that could easily destroy humanity if they were only given a proper chance…"

Fenrir glanced down at Remus and laughed again. "And so here you are, torn between your parent's pathetic efforts to brainwash you to be a human and your wolf's inner instincts…that's why you're here trying to stop me from hurting Davey Montgomery tonight- that's why you're lying about Randolph wanting to see me when I know for certain he's was assigned to keep an eye on you tonight. I wonder what you did to get away from him. He's been trailing you very closely on my orders you know."

He watched Remus stand up and suddenly became much more serious.

"Lupin…" he rasped. "Join me."

Remus in his near panic was sure he had heard him wrong. "What?"

"Join me." The werewolf said. "Come with me in the hunt tonight and join in the attack. Come feel what it's like to taste the dark, forbidden fruit, to glutton in the bloodshed and to feel warm blood of a helpless victim- to feel the frightened heartbeat of an innocent child racing through their veins as you so quickly end it."

"You're sick." Remus spat.

Fenrir laughed and it sounded more like a snarl. "Where do you get off telling me what's right and wrong? You're just as bad as the rest of us."

"You're not all bad, you just believe yourselves to be."

"I've had enough of this Lupin. I've given you far too much slack. Now either join me or you will regret it."

Remus took a deep breath, and braced himself. "I can't let you do this."

"Can't or won't?"

"I cannot and will never join you. And I won't let you do this either… not tonight."

Fenrir's face took on a dark, furious expression. "You forget your place Lupin-" he snarled. "Stand aside."

"I'm not letting you do this."

"Move."

"No."

Remus had expected it- but not for it to come so fast. Fenrir lunged at him so quickly he was a blur and before Remus knew it, Fenrir was ontop of him again.

Remus threw out his arm without thinking and pressed his thumb into the socket of Fenrir's right eye.

The werewolf let out a loud howl of pain and jerked his head back- enough for Remus to kick him in the chest. In quick retaliation, Fenrir slashed across Remus's chest with his sharpened fingernails- so hard Remus would have sworn it drew blood, but there was no time to check.

Remus rolled to the side, and spied his wand which had rolled off to the side. He reached for it, but Fenrir suddenly pounced again and they rolled about on the forest floor, Remus desperately trying to pull away, and Fenrir unwilling to let go of his grip on his arm. Remus rolled onto his back and nearly managed to get away from Fenrir when suddenly he lunged, teeth bared at Remus's throat but missed it as Remus swung around to twist from his grip. Fenrir instead, sunk his teeth deep into Remus's shoulder who let out a loud yell of pain as he tried to twist free from Fenrir's jaws.

Fenrir wouldn't let go- he held on with his teeth as he clawed at Remus who was now trying to beat off Fenrir anyway that he could.

Then he saw it- just out of reach- a large stone. Remus reached out- his fingertips just grazing it- he threw himself a little bit further and upon grabbing it took it and swung it hard across the back of Fenrir's head.

There was a sickening 'crack' as the rock made contact with Fenrir's gray haired head. Remus had hoped it would stun or knock out the large werewolf but he had hoped too much. Fenrir though the force of the rock had thrown him off to the side was more awake than ever, and now ontop of it all, exceptionally angry.

His wand…he needed his wand. He spied it on the other end of the clearing and frantically threw himself at it as Fenrir caught him a sort of tackle and dug his long nails into Remus's side. Gritting his teeth, Remus pushed him off only to feel Fenrir's iron grip close in on his throat again. This time however, the grip was purposely getting tighter and tighter. He grabbed Fenrir's hands and desperately tried to pull them away, but his grip was too tight…the nails were digging into the skin on his neck and the clearing was starting to spin as he felt himself growing dizzier and dizzier by the second.

He could feel his lungs contracting as his hopeless struggle for air continued in vain…The clearing was getting darker and darker, he could almost hear his blood thumping in his ears as he started to loose all feeling and consciousness.

He was going to die…he would never know what happened to that boy…he would never see Tonks again…

_Tonks… _

As the black oblivion pressed upon him, he remembered those dark, twinkling eyes so vividly…they'd be the last thing he'd ever see…

And then suddenly in the back of his oxygen deprived brain he heard the words of an old auror from so long ago-_"Right so this is even worse than before, isn't it?"_

_…Tonks...self defense…_

Though he could barely feel any of his limbs at that point or Fenrir's hands he managed with the last of his fading strength to swing his leg up and around Fenrir's neck. The darkness was swirling as he hooked his leg and brought it down hard to the forest ground while pulling Fenrir's wrist in the other direction. Fenrir completely caught off guard lay there pinned and helpless, as Remus gasped for breath.

He shakily jumped to his feet and ran across the rest of the clearing where he grabbed his wand and straightened up to spin around and face Fenrir. He raised his wand as the werewolf got to his feet and turned on him with a snarl, but before Remus could move a muscle, a terrible sight in the dark night sky had already caught his attention. And in that second- right before the clouds parted, Remus knew he had to make a choice-

Stay and try to somehow stop Fenrir from attacking the Montgomery boy or leave the boy to Fenrir's mercy and pray the tip-off had reached the Ministry and they had alerted the aurors. If he stayed to protect the innocent victim to be, it could very well be him attacking the boy instead of Greyback. As a wolf, he had never tasted human flesh before, and so the opportunity would be gladly seized by his lupine half…something he had no power to control.

But to leave the boy in danger…what if the Ministry never gotten his tip off? Worse, what if they never considered it seriously and didn't send out the aurors in time? Could he really leave an innocent child to an uncertain fate?

He closed his eyes.

Up high in the sky, the clouds suddenly parted- and almost immediately the forest clearing was filled with silver moonlight.

* * *

Tonks lead the way as she raced across the slightly unkept lawn and up to the front door where she began pounding furiously on it. 

"OPEN UP!" she bellowed. "PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR! THIS IS THE MINISTRY!"

After a brief hesitation, Tonks turned to the others behind her who had just caught up. "Blast down the door on the count of three?" she asked.

But suddenly the lock turned and the door opened a crack, a thin ray of light upon the group of aurors.

"Who-who's there?" said a nervous woman.

"Mrs. Montgomery?" Tonks asked frantically. "We're aurors. Your son is in danger!"  
The door opened a little wider revealing a small, bird-frail woman whose dark hair was back in a long braid. "What is this?"

"We received a tip off that there is to be a werewolf attack tonight." Kingsley said in his deep voice. "Here, at your home. We're here to protect your family."

"Mrs. Montgomery, where is your son?" Tonks desperately asked her.

She frowned at her words. "At this hour, where else would he be? He's upstairs sleeping in his room."

Tonks let out a small breath of relief at the same time when heavy footsteps came around the corner.

"Algea! What's is going on?"

Mrs. Montgomery gave her husband a desperate look. "It's a bunch of aurors Jim. They think Davey is in danger."

The mustached man frowned at the crowd at his doorstep. "He's upstairs with his cousin who's spending the night here since his parents are away on business. Their not in any danger."

"Just the same," Kingsley said. "Would it be alright if we were to set up positions and one of us, or you was to check on the boys?"

The man bristled. "Are you suggesting that we aren't efficient enough as parents to know where my son is at this hour?"  
"Have you heard anything unusual tonight or seen anything?" pressed Tonks.

"We've been in the sitting room listening to the wireless for the past half hour." Mrs. Montgomery said, wrinkling her nose slightly as the rest of the aurors came trooping inside the house after Tonks.

"Have you received any threats?"

She paled slightly but shook her head. "No. None."

"Perhaps you could check on the boys for us?" Kingsley asked Mr. Montgomery again. "Just as a precaution?"

The man looked as if he were about to argue again, but Kingsley's smooth tones seemed to have persuaded him. "Alright." He muttered. "Can't hurt to check I suppose."

He headed upstairs and Tonks went to Mrs. Montgomery's side, ignoring the other awkward aurors standing behind her.

"When did you get the tip off?" Mrs. Montgomery asked.

"Our office just heard about the tip off today. We came over as soon as possible-"

Suddenly there was a strangled yell from upstairs, Tonks and Kingsley exchanged horrified looks before racing up the stairs.

They burst into the room, where Mr. Montgomery was standing there in shock, a blanket in his hand-

There on a small bed, and on a nearby mattress lying on the floor were artfully arranged pillows that had apparently been under blankets to imitate sleeping children.

"Where is he?" Tonks cried.

Mrs. Montgomery ran in, her face deathly pale. "What is it? What's happened?"

Right on cue, there was a high, terrified scream from outside the house…

Tonks gasped and ran out the door and bolted down the stairs- she had barely made it halfway down when she tripped and went flying down the rest of the steps, landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"Tonks! Are you alright?"

But Tonks didn't wait- she apparated right on the spot and appeared well out into the middle of the Montgomery's woods.

Another scream from nearby and Tonks changed direction as she charged though the undergrowth. It was far too dark-

"Lumos!" she shouted, and desperately ran- her wand held high ahead of her.

Far behind her she thought she could hear the cries of aurors from the house, but her mind was only focused on one thing-

_Find the boy! Find Davey…_

She could hear frantic footsteps that were not her own. She froze to make certain they truly weren't her own and then bolted in that direction. No sooner had she gone several paces when she collided into a small boy of about eight years old.

He was sobbing uncontrollably, his eyes wide and frantic.

"Oy! Davey?"  
He shook his head numbly.

_He's in shock._ Tonks thought. "Where's Davey?"

He pointed numbly into the dark woods behind him.

Suddenly a loud crack and Kingsley was there at her side looking furious, "Tonks! What do you think you're playing at apparating off like that?"

"This is his cousin." She said quickly, indicating to the terrified boy at her side. "We need to find Davey!"

Kingsley raised his wand and red sparks emitted from it, shooting high up into the night sky. The boy let out a dry sob and fell forward, his arms wrapped around Tonks's legs.

Within seconds, more aurors appeared.

Kingsley quickly shouted out instructions. "Richards and Williamson! Take that direction! Hain you cover the south part of the woods with Duffy! You three, follow them! The rest of you with me!"

"But what about-" Tonks interrupted.

"Just stay with him for a minute-"

Tonks was on the verge of arguing when she saw the trembling boy at her side. Without a word she leaned over and awkwardly picked him up, half holding him- half balancing him on her hip.

"Hey," she said as soothingly as she could as the aurors around her vanished into the darkness. "It's alright. It's alright…Shhh. We'll find Davey and in the meantime you and me will go back to the house, okay?"

He was sniffling heavily into her cloak. Tonks bit her lip, having a feeling that she was truly doing a terrible job acting as a comforting mothering figure and started to walk back. carrying the little boy.

Suddenly without warning, the boy began to talk, "Me and Davey heard noises outside in the woods. We thought we heard somebody yelling so we went outside to see where they were."

Tonks patted him on the back, feeling like an utterly useless prat.

"-Auntie and Uncle Jim didn't even see us fall down past the window- they were listening to the radio-"

Tonks was listening closely now the woods around them, and the distant yells of aurors.

"-and we walked a long time before we realized that we were lost, and then- then-"

The boy burst into tears and Tonks gave him an encouraging hug.

"-a big doggie ran out of the woods and we ran- we got lost-" the little boy's breath was coming in heaving gasps. "I don't know where Davey is-"

"We're going to find him." Tonks said again. "Don't worry."

They had reached the edge of the woods and had started to head out onto the untidy lawn where Mrs. Montgomery and Mr. Montgomery were running towards them.

"Davey?" cried Mrs. Montgomery as she ran forward.

"We're still looking for him." Tonks called back, determined to keep her voice netural. "Kingsley and the others are-"

But suddenly she knew something was terribly wrong.

Mrs. Montgomery's eyes widened her mouth slightly open in a silent scream as she stared over Tonks's shoulder.

Tonks turned and felt her blood turn to ice.

Yellow eyes from the shadows and bared, bloody teeth.

She was immediately and strangely aware of every inch of her body and how vulnerable she was standing within such close range to such an enormous, and terrifying creature. All of a sudden her pumping heart, the sudden sweat on her skin, the cold night's breeze tossing her limp brown hair about…she had never been so aware of being alive before...As she stared at the werewolf, time seemed to have slowed to a complete stop- dark eyes staring directly into golden ones. Neither one of them moving or blinking.

It was the boy on Tonks's hip whose terrified scream shattered the moment.

The werewolf tore out of the shadows of the woods and began running right at her and the boy.

Tonks pulled her wand and sent a stunning spell only to watch it hopelessly bounce right off the werewolf. She should've remembered. It was impossible to use spells against werewolves in this state.

Feeling unbelievably vulnerable she turned and began to run. With the boy in her arms however, it was much slower than she would've liked. Fumbling with her wand she sent up red sparks into the sky.

She was nearly at the house- nearly at the house- there was a snarling noise from behind her-

"Run!" she cried, as she passed off the boy to the terrified Montgomery's. Mr. Montgomery passed off the boy to his wife before leaping forward to Tonks's side with his wand drawn,

"No Jim!" screamed the woman.

"GO!" Tonks shouted at the man as she sent up an invisible barrier wall between her and the charging werewolf. Though the werewolf didn't bounce off of it as she had expected him to, he was going much slower now, as though he was trying to run through an invisible wall of molasses.

She pushed Mr. Montgomery back towards the house as she threw up another barrier. He glared and fought off her arm, but at Tonks's instant pulling and seeing his wife's terrified face, he ran back to his wife's side and both of them raced towards the house with the little boy.

Tonks turned and saw to her horror that the werewolf had managed to get through her jinx and was now coming straight at her, with nothing to stop him. With every lightening fast step the werewolf took-the smaller the space between them got…they were mere feet from each other now-

Tonks waved her wand wildly as the space between them closed. "INCENDIO!"

Red hot flames sprang between them, and the werewolf who had just jumped, his teeth bared- let out a loud, howl that sent a terrified cold shiver down her spine. But no sooner could Tonks raise her wand again, or try to run there was a flash of red light and then-nothing.

* * *

"Easy now…gently dear." 

Tonks felt her eyelids flutter open and she stared groggily up at the dim, early morning grey sky as her blurred vision began to clear.

"What…what happened?"

"Stunned my dear. And virtually forgotten next to a pile of flames for a good long gap of time."

"No, I meant what happened to Davey? The Montgomerys? Where's the werewolf?"

Her eyes desperately focused on a familiar black haired witch wearing St. Mungo's robes.

"Hestia!"

The pink cheeked witch put a finger to her lips to calm her down. "You really oughtn't strain yourself like this Tonks right after everything. You had a very close call with that werewolf. Too close..."

"What happened to the Montgomerys?" Tonks begged.

"I don't know much at all, but when the Order received your message Dumbledore sent a personal message to Robards to let you go bring over a team of aurors."

"So that's why he let us go." Tonks grumbled. As she lay there, she was becoming quickly aware of a stinging pain spreading over her body.

"And so, you all came here and from what I've heard you were bringing back that little boy, Michael-"

"Is he okay?"

Hestia frowned. "He's still very worked up, but physically- yes, he's fine."

Tonks let out a sigh of relief.

"But you were bringing back Michael from what I understand when the werewolf attacked you and you started to fight. The rest of the aurors, saw the sparks, and most of them went to your side where they all tried to stun the werewolf-"

"-and someone hit me instead." Tonks finished for her as everything started to fit into place.

"Yes, and they kept trying to capture the werewolf since but it ran off into the woods, and they've been looking for it since."

"Oh."

"And during that fight, when you were hit with a stunning spell you fell next to the fire…a little too close."

Tonks followed Hestia's eyes and grimaced as she looked down at her left arm and part of her side.

Her skin was red raw, completely burned by the heat of the flames.

Hestia was still talking, "Luckily one of the aurors, that red haired one with the ponytail-?"

"Williamson?"

"Yes, him. He managed to get you out in time or the damage could have been much worse."

Tonks shut her eyes tightly and screwed up her face. After a few strenuous seconds she opened her eyes again and looked down at her arms which were still burned.

Hesita smiled slightly. "Wait until you're properly rested up to try that. I'm sure you'll be able to fix it later. Would you like me to bandage them up for now?"

"Yeah…yeah- that'd be great. Thanks Hestia."

Hestia set to work and Tonks winced as the bandages made contact with her burnt skin. It seemed to take forever before Hestia finally said,

"Do you have a headache or any pain?"

"No, no. I'm fine." She said hastily as she slowly rolled off the stretcher and got to her feet. "I gotta go talk to Kingsley and some of the others to see what's happened."

Hestia patted her gently on the side of her back that wasn't burned and watched as she walked off.

The Montgomery's yard was full of activity. She couldn't see the Montgomery's anywhere, but there were a lot of Ministry officials and a lot of Hit Wizards all bustling about. She looked about and suddenly felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She turned and found herself face to face with two of her fellow aurors.

"Tonks," said Williamson, looking very relieved. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for pulling me out of that fire."

He shrugged. "Don't mention it. Me and Proudfoot here were just going to scout out the woods again for evidence, would you like to join us?"

She nodded, "In a minute, I need to talk to a few people first."

"We'll head out now and you can catch up with us. We're making a broad, sweeping search in that direction again to see if we missed anything from earlier-" he said pointing to the thicker part of the woods.

"Alright, I'll be there."

Williamson and Proudfoot backed off respectfully and headed off in the direction of the dark woods.

Tonks walked over to Kingsley who she saw was just finishing up with talking to several different aurors.

At the sound of her footsteps, Kingsley turned to face her.

Tonks barely trusted herself to speak, but she had to know- "Did they…did they find the werewolf yet?"

He shook his head. "No."

She bit her trembling lip. _Oh god...what if it had been Remus? Where WAS Remus?_ Or worse, what if he turned up now to see if everybody was alright and the Ministry seized him at the spot for being a known werewolf?

Kingsley gave her a knowing look before adding in a solemn voice, "The boy, Davey- he was bitten. He's is in Saint Mungo's now and still in critical condition."

Tonks closed her eyes and let out a small gasp. "Oh God."

Kingsley patted her firmly on the pack. "Tonks without you everything could have been much worse-"

"How?" Tonks asked angrily. "A boy has been hurt on our account and I knew what was going to happen, but we couldn't…we didn't—"

She felt her knees wobbling from exhaustion and shock. Kingsley noticed and he grabbed hold of her shoulders to support her.

"Take a deep breath Tonks."

She was desperately trying to fight back furious tears at this point, breathing properly was not her top priority. A few aurors drifted over…

"Say…" said auror Richards as he squinted across the field. "Isn't that Mad-eye?"

They all turned to see the old, ex-auror slumping towards them.

"What's HE doing here?" said Apollo Hain pompously, frowning as Moody continued to clunk over to them.

When Moody finally reached them- Hain stepped forward at once, his mouth open in protest-

"Get out of my way." Moody snarled as he brought his staff hard across the auror's kneecaps. The auror fell to the ground with a loud cry, but Moody ignored him as he strode up to Tonks and paused, staring intently at her with both his eyes.

"Are you alright lass?" She was surprised to hear that his gravelly voice was a bit softer than usual.

She nodded.

He continued to look at her, and Tonks realized with surprise that the odd look in both his eyes was that of concern. "You did well."

She gave him a watery grin in return. "For acting late on a tip off, disobeying my superior officers, breaking several ministry rules and failing to obey protocol by racing off into the woods without any cover to take on a werewolf?"

"Yes."

She raised an eyebrow at this and glimpsing a small opportunity to cheer herself up in the whole tragic scheme, seized it. "And not even a comment about my appearance. I seem to be racking up all the good points from you today."

Moody scowled. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but your hair looks utterly dismal."

"I thought you of all people would've approved of nice boring, brown."

"It gives the appearance of being negligent, something an auror should never be. I've seen trolls with better hair." Moody said.

"Trolls are bald…"  
"That's my point." He said nastily. "Use a cheering charm on yourself for godsakes."

She scowled as he slumped away towards Gawain Robbards and a few other wizards who were talking hurriedly amongst themselves. She ran a hand absentmindedly through her hair, thinking hard before she looked back at Kingsley, "I'm going to go look for evidence with Williamson and Proudfoot."

"Alright." said Kingsley in his deep voice.

"Constant vigilance lass!" Moody exclaimed from over his shoulder.

She resisted giving him a one-finger salute in return and headed out into the heart of the woods, carefully scanning the ground and surrounding trees with her wand out. Her fellow aurors were nowhere to be seen.

She wondered deep into the woods, still feeling slightly nauseous in her gut from the earlier events. A boy had been bitten- a little boy that Remus had fought to save…where was he now? Was he still among the pack? Was he in danger?

Shaking her head slightly, she ducked a large tree branch and stepped into a small clearing. She was halfway across it when she noticed something….

There were scuffle marks on the forest ground here, as if there had been a fight-

She turned around, closely examining all sides of the clearing now- the leaves were unique here- some of them had funny patterns-

She kneeled down on the forest floor and picked up a leaf with a slightly shaking hand. Her eyes widened. What she thought had been the pattern of the fallen leaves were leaves that had been peppered with dark dry blood.

There was a snap of a twig suddenly behind her, and Tonks spun around leaping to her feet- her wand drawn and pointing to the thick undergrowth where the sound had come from.

"OY! STEP FORWARD WITH YOUR ARMS OUT AT YOUR SIDES! THIS CLEARING IS COVERED ON ALL SIDES BY AURORS SO PROCEED SLOWLY!"

If it was just a squirrel or some other innocent woodland creature, she was going to be so embarrassed.

But as she stood there waiting, she heard the definite sounds of somebody walking- or stumbling towards the clearing…

She held up her wand a little higher wide-eyed and fearful. Just ahead, through the thicket and trees was a familiar figure coming towards her.

Tonks suddenly found herself unable to speak- she could only stare at the sight before her in horror, a lump in her throat as she finally got a good look at the man who had stumbled forward into the clearing.

He was naked. Completely stark naked- but Tonks's attention was drawn to other things- the man was as white as a ghost and frightfully gaunt, his face had a painfully tight and hollow look and he had dark shadows under his wide, wild eyes. He looked like a madman.

He was absolutely filthy- covered in dirt, muck and worst of all-blood. There was far too much blood. Strips of flesh hung off of his skeletal frame and he was covered in far too many nasty, deep wounds. His torn skin looked as if had been slashed by claws- His side had a huge chunk of flesh missing from it, where shockingly scarlet blood was dripping heavily down his side….how he was still standing was beyond her, though admittedly he was swaying unsteadily-

Before Tonks could say or do anything however, Remus Lupin fell forward and collapsed onto the forest floor- totally unconscious.

* * *

_Authors note: __Luckily from here on out it will be more glorious and actual Remus and Tonks interaction. Huzzah. HBP is mostly a dismal period but from here on out its oh so lovely for me to write...yeah. sorta. _

_Alright, shut up. I'm really tired and I can't think straight anymore. :) _

* * *


	24. The Loyal and the Brave

_Author's note: I don't know about you lot- but I was desperate to see another chapter put up:D I'm so sorry. I know its been ages since I updated. I was getting very discouraged and I would like to thank all of you who kindly reviewed while I was having a terrible time jotting this down- after this it's one more chapter before we move onto Part III which as I start to ponder I realize is going to be quite a challenge. Never fear, I have ideas. :D_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty four- The Loyal and the Brave**

Tonks dabbed Remus's shoulder with a wet cloth. The last few hours had been a whirlwind of combined panic, relief, fear and confusion. She had hidden Remus from the Ministry officials. There was no possible way she could bring Remus before them. A child had been bitten by a werewolf and Remus as far as she knew was the only werewolf that had been found in the area. She had apparated immediately back to her place and left Remus there before quickly returning to fix up a quick cover up story to get away. She was finally was home again.

As she stared at his deathly pale face she felt a stab of dread wash over her. Remus couldn't have bitten that boy- he couldn't have-

But he had transformed as a werewolf- and therefore lost all control. He probably wouldn't remember anything that had happened after moonrise.

She was terrified but in order to avoid dwelling on the frightening possibilities she was focusing on cleaning him up. Bringing him to St. Mungo's was out of the question- The Ministry wasn't that stupid-they'd be keeping an eye on every werewolf brought into the place were one actually to show up there.

She poured some more essence of dittany with a shaking hand onto one of the wounds. There were a combination of attacks from a wild animal and splinching. If he had splinched, which he obviously had judging from the chunk of flesh that was missing from his side, perhaps it meant he hadn't been there during the attack at all.

_"…__But more or less, correct. I'm usually very disoriented, very tired, and very dazed. In most cases if I were to apparate I would probably splinch myself."_

She remembered him saying that on that fateful Christmas night with Sirius and playing the dreaded game of 'Truth'. Tonks could remember every detail of that conversation exactly as if had taken place yesterday.

So could that mean he had apparated to the Montgomery place this morning? True, there were no other signs of any werewolf found, but perhaps it wasn't Remus.

She looked at his pale, exhausted face.

It COULDN'T be Remus. Never.

The possibility of Remus attacking a little child was making her physically sick. She put down her towel for a moment and turned away to take some deep steadying breaths.

_Pull yourself together! Think of how he feels when he wakes up and not knowing if he's hurt someone- and he goes through that every month…_

She was torn between crying and maintaining her tough auror face she still had on. As she struggled between the both of them she heard the faintest of voices from behind her.

"What happened?"

She whipped around at the sound of the cracked and weak voice to see Remus lying there, his eyes fixed on her. He didn't look surprised to see her there.

"I was going to ask you that when you woke." She said quickly.

Remus shook his head as if trying to shake off whatever thoughts or emotions were causing him to close his eyes as if in pain.

"I tried to stop him Tonks- I truly did. I thought Fenrir was going to attack that boy and I was right…"

He looked up at her suddenly, a question in his eyes but Tonks who knew instinctively what it would be quickly asked a question of her own,

"Why didn't you alert the Order? Where was your wand?"

"It was stolen from me. A werewolf by the name of Randolph Horrell. He's been following me for months now and I think when the werewolf from St. Mungo's joined the pack- all his suspicions about me were confirmed."

Tonks took this information in silence as she watched him lay back against the pillows, his face as white as the pillowcase beneath his head.

"Tonks?" he croaked.

And in her name, she heard the unspoken question.

She couldn't lie to him…she bit her lip for a moment and drew a deep breath before saying,

"The boy…Davey, he's in Saint Mungo's."

Something seemed to crumble behind that passive, well-guarded face. It took Remus several attempts to speak in his hoarse voice, "So…the boy was…bitten?"

She nodded.

Remus closed his eyes and Tonks knew that even though he was managing to keep his emotions under such tight rein he was in a lot of personal anguish.

"What about the tip off?" Remus asked suddenly. His voice was so unusually harsh, it unnerved her.

"The Ministry received it and only got in touch with me last night. I realized it was you and so I tried to get a force of aurors over there but because the alert squad had decided it was a possible fake and needed to debate and try to find out if it was truly a real tip off or not, so they wouldn't let me go. I was actually thrown out of the office for 'verbally haranguing' my boss." Normally she would have smiled at this or perhaps made a joke, but she couldn't now with the seriousness of the situation. "I alerted the Order and got a few other aurors to help me out, but by the time we got there…we were too late."

The silence that pressed on them both was heavy and stifling.

"Remus?" she asked quietly.

His eyes, which had closed again, snapped open to stare at her. "Yes?"

"You said you went after Fenrir, right?"

"Yes."

"What…what happened?"

He looked closely at her and took his time before answering, "There was a fight- and in the middle of it I knew I had to make a choice. I snatched my wand back and apparated to a place far away from there that I knew I could go to, to transform. I hadn't gone a second too soon. Almost as soon as I apparated, I transformed.

It took all of her willpower not to collapse with relief. He hadn't bitten Davey then- he wouldn't have to suffer that terrible blow that most likely have mentally crippled him for life had it actually occurred.

"When I transformed back the next morning, I found my wand and tried to apparate back to the place to see what had happened. Where Fenrir was-"

"That was just stupid." Tonks said. "The place was swarming with aurors and others looking for the werewolf. Fenrir had gotten away of course."

"Nevertheless-" (It took a unique sort of bloke Tonks thought, to use words like 'nevertheless' when they were exhausted beyond all reason.) "I had to know."

Tonks watched him as he laid his head back against the pillows again with a sigh and closed his eyes. Once again, a long and terrible silence followed…

"It wasn't your fault Remus." she said suddenly.

He opened his eyes. "It wasn't yours either Nymphadora."

Tonks was too focused on the seriousness on the situation to reprimand him for using her first name.

Remus looked utterly exhausted as he tried to fight back whatever emotions were still causing him to look as if he was in pain. "We tried…we truly tried, but it wasn't enough."

Tonks quickly wiped away a tear that was falling down her face. "How…how did you get a message out to me?"

"Alert box." Remus said. "I realized I still had a scrap piece of paper that was yours from over a year ago. My mind immediately jumped to you and I thought were your name to get involved, sorry- they might consider it more serious."

"Why'd you take the card?"

His eyes fell to the ground. "You were at St. Mungo's at that time…the card didn't have a name on it and I was thinking of that Devil's snare incident with Boderick Bode. In the whole scheme of things afterwards I forgot to mention it to you." He looked up tentatively. "I'm sorry."

"No, that's alright." She said. "I was just wondering."

He gave the faintest of smiles in return and Tonks saw right through it.

"Sleep. Now." She demanded. "No excuses."

"We still have to figure out what I'm going to tell the Ministry-"

"We'll worry about it later." Tonks said firmly. "I'll send a message off to Dumbledore, he'll know what to do."

Looking slightly reassured by this, he relaxed and shut his eyes.

Tonks made a move to stand up when suddenly she felt his hand reach for her's.

"You do know," he said quietly. "That I do care about the people that…that concern themselves for me the most…you do know that, right?"

"I always have."

He let out his breath in a half sigh and let his hand fall. His eyes were still closed and after watching him for a few moments, she realized he had fallen asleep. She quietly left the room, taking care to shut the door gently behind her.

* * *

It was far worse than those dreams where you thought you were falling and woke only to have your heart racing and your breath coming in heaving gasps as you lay there in a cold sweat. Remus couldn't remember what exactly he had been dreaming of- it had all been stifling darkness and monstrous shadows, but when his eyes finally snapped open- he could feel his heart racing and his entire body ached as if it had fallen from a high building onto a hard, concrete surface. 

It had to be late afternoon judging from the dim light coming in from the windows.

He looked about the room and saw a familiar witch crashed on a chair that was covered in a pile of dirty laundry. As she slept, her mouth was open…she looked exhausted. But even as he watched her, she began to stir almost as if she could somehow sense that he was awake.

She opened a bleary eye and it focused on Remus for a second before both of them snapped open.

"Remus!" Tonks exclaimed. "What are you doing up? You still should be sleeping!"

"Tonks-" he said hoarsely.

She stared at him, looking slightly alarmed by the tone of his voice. "What is it?"

"Could you do something for me?"

"Of course? What do you need? Do you need-?"

"Hold my hand, please."

Tonks looked taken aback but reached out slowly and held his hand in her own small one. "What's this all about?" she asked quietly.

"Sometimes…" Remus whispered. "I feel I need reminding that I'm human."

"Don't start that." She said fiercely. "You're a human, the same as-"

"I know that. But sometimes after transformations…"

Her face softened. She got up out of her chair and crawled onto the bed beside him. Without any hesitation she curled up against him so that her mousy brown head lay upon his chest.

He ran his hand along the side of her heart-shaped face without even thinking-

"For years," he said quietly. "I've transformed alone and by myself. Even now after all this time, you'd have thought that I'd have gotten used to it- but I can't. I wake up the next day- always terrified and always alone. And sometimes…most times…" he paused and settled to tell the honest truth, "Every time in fact, I wish that I wasn't."

A long pause stretched between them and Remus closed his eyes taking ease from the warm, gentle pressure of Tonks lying next to him. Her presence was a strange comfort to him that he had never experienced before. He had often dreamed of those warm "presences" that many lucky people seemed to possess in their lives, the people that seemed to light up rachother's lives and worlds. Remus had just always assumed that he would never have the chance to experience that himself, but he knew then that what was lying right next to him was what he had been looking for during all those long and lonely years. The realization hit him like a bolt of lightening. He didn't feel as empty and drained, and the dark shadows that always seemed so close to him after the full moon didn't seem to be there anymore. It was like having a shining silver patronus by his side against a cold ring of dementors.

"I can hear your heart beating." Tonks remarked quietly. She looked up at him slowly. "You know Remus, people have a certain image in their heads of rebels and fighters. Sirius was possibly the most typical image of it, but there are people out there who rebel silently and they have more courage than they let on or that people see in them at first glance."

He stared at her and he saw that she was pleading with her eyes for him to listen and understand…

"You are the strongest, bravest man I know." Tonks said quietly.

Remus pushed back a stand of hair that was falling into her eyes. "And you Nymphadora, remain the most perseverant and loyal woman I have ever known."

She smiled and Remus realized suddenly that he had said the words he had been thinking outloud. He was far too tired to take them back however-

"Loyal works well for Tonks." She corrected him, as she snuggling closer to him. "I won't hit you today for using my first name…"

There was another moment of silence between them, but it didn't bother Remus at all.

"You know," Tonks said slowly. "To be perfectly honest…sometimes I really am afraid, totally frightened out of my mind- but when it comes to you I can't leave or forget you even if I ever wanted to try to. Guess that's loyalty then, huh?"

"Loyalty is a form of bravery."

"Perhaps."

He allowed himself a small smile as he ran a hand through her mousy brown hair. He was so accustomed to pink, it bothered him more than a little. He sighed, and stared up at the plain, white ceiling.

"The loyal and the brave…" he said quietly. "What a pair we make."

* * *

"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around…Turn around, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears-" 

Remus woke to hearing what he thought was a dying augery before realizing it was Tonks's voice. He felt the ghost of a smile appear on his face. Some things never changed, including Tonks's dreadful singing.

Tonks burst into the room carrying a large tray. "And I need you now tonight! And I need you more than ever, and if you only- Oh, sorry Remus." She said with a grin.

"You're in a cheerful mood."

"What can I say? The company of a gloomy, despairing werewolf adds to the décor of the house so nicely."

"Ever the joker."

"That's me. Joking like there's no tomorrow. Here! I made you some soup!"

"You didn't burn it." He smiled.

"Nope. No one's been here to save me these past few months from a burning kitchen so I learnt it myself."

He hung his head. "I'm sorry."

"Forget about it." She said, but from the sound of her voice, she was only half joking.

To avoid looking into those dark eyes he focused on balancing the tray on top of the blankets. Tonks handed him the spoon before sitting herself on the edge of the bed. "How're you feeling?" she asked him.

"Much better thank you." He tugged at the too large pajamas he had not realized he had been wearing until that morning. "Whose are these by the way?"

"Oh-" she said, her cheeks slightly pink. "Their my Dad's."

"Your dad's?"

"He left them here a long time ago so I brought them out again. I figured it would be better than wearing nothing."

Remus's eyes widened as he realized something utterly terrifying concerning the most recent events but before he couldn't seem to summon the strength to ask the embarrassing question Tonks sat back in her chair, pushing off some of the dirty laundry onto the floor. "Yesterday, when I sent out a message to the Order telling them what had happened, Hestia said she'd bring over some medicine this afternoon. I'm waiting for her to arrive any minute now."

"That's very kind of her." said Remus (feeling enormously grateful the conversation had moved on) and taking a mouthful of piping hot soup. "And this is wonderful soup."

"Stop trying to flatter me with my lousy cooking skills."

Remus smiled at this but then a slight frown crossed his face as another thought came to mind. "I should personally get in touch with Dumbledore. Perhaps send him a message myself."

"Without a wand?" Tonks said raising an eyebrow.

He opened his mouth and then looked to the side where the bedside table was.

"Where is my wand?"

"And for constant vigilance Remus Lupin, you receive a big fat T for Troll." Tonks said smugly. "Just realized that?"

"I'm getting exasperated with the fact that my wand has been out of my hands these days more times than I can count."

Tonks snickered pointedly at this statement and Remus gave her an exasperated look in return.

"Give it back, please?"

"Hmmmmm….no."

"Are you planning on holding me as a prisoner here?"

"Just until you come to your senses which judging from the statement you made not too long ago, we have a long way to go."

"I may be weak but I'm not mentally unstable." Remus said shortly.

"You're not weak." Tonks said. "You're exhausted, and that's why you need to rest for awhile and not worry about little things I can easily take care of. Have you taken a look in the mirror recently? You look worse than Sirius did in his 'wanted' posters."

"Thank you." He said dryly.

"Well it's true. And you put yourself through all this, you gloomy martyr you, so I hope you're pleased with yourself."

"That was not my intention."

"Sure." She said, rolling her eyes.

He took another mouthful of soup. "So how has work been at the Ministry?"

"Well the past year hasn't exactly been dull." Tonks said dryly. "I mean the Order's kept me busy of course, and work at the Ministry has certainly made quite a change since the battle at the department of mysteries, and then last night where I was nearly bitten by the same werewolf that bit you-"

The soup spoon fell with a loud clatter. "What?" Remus asked sharply.

"-and I'm fairly certain that I've been being watched or stalked by someone. At least since Christmas…"

"That was Randolph Horrell." Remus said coldly.

"Who?"

Her voice snapped Remus out of his dark, wildly spinning thoughts. "You said that Fenrir nearly bit you? When?" he demanded.

"You tell me about this Randolph bloke first and then I'll tell you about Fenrir."

Remus stared at her shrewdly for a moment before lying back onto his pillows with a heavy sigh. "Alright."

Tonks listened to him in avid horror as he told her the entire story of Randolph Horrell. When he finally finished, Tonks was quick to drop her hands that had been covering her mouth in shock during the duration of the story and ask,

"But he's dead now? Right?"

"Defiantly dead." Remus said, feeling as if the soup he was halfway through was about to come up again.

Tonks let out a breath of relief.

"What happened with Fenrir?" he asked.

She stretched her arms for a moment before letting them fall and saying, "The other night, I found Davey's cousin when I apparated away into the Montgomery's woods. I was bringing him back to the house when we realized that there was something behind us. It was a werewolf and so I sprinted back to the house and got the Montgomery's inside."

Remus could feel the blood draining faster from his face than if he had been fatally stabbed.

"-well, spells don't work on a werewolf. You know that. But I managed to slow him down and when he lunged, I did the only thing I could think of at the time and sent up flames between us. It worked pretty well until my other fellow aurors showed up at that moment and sent stunning spells at the wolf. One of them hit me by mistake. I bet it was Hain." She added with a scowl.

"And then?" he croaked.

"Well I don't remember obviously what happened next." Tonks shrugged. "But they managed to chase the werewolf off and lost him in the woods. When I woke, Hestia was there and taking care of me."

His eyes narrowed at this as he scanned Tonks for any injuries.

She held up a pale arm. "My arm and side got burnt really badly. But its alright. I finally managed to finally fix them with morphing last night."

"So is that any better? Your morphing, I mean?"

"If it was finally all better, would I still be having my hair like this? She said, pointing up at her limp looking tangle of mousy brown hair."

He opened his mouth to respond to this but suddenly the doorbell rang.

"That'll be Hestia." Tonks said, standing up. "Finish the rest of your soup, I'll be right back."

She left the room and Remus was forced to finish the soup, straining his ears in vain to hear the muffled voices from the conversation taking place down the hallway.

It was only a short little while later when Tonks came back, her face pale.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked immediately.

She didn't answer right away. She seemed to be composing herself before saying, "Hestia wanted me to apologize for her. She couldn't stay but she wanted to see how you were."

Remus waited in silence, knowing that this was not all that was going on.

"Remus," Tonks said slowly. "The boy Davey…"

He felt his heart stop.

"He…he died this morning at St. Mungo's."

There was a moment where the world seemed to join his heart- completely frozen. Unable to move or act-

Then he threw back the sheets of his bed and swung his legs over onto the side.

"Remus?"

He stood up.

"Remus!"

He had barely made it several steps in the slightly spinning room, before he felt his legs buckle out from under him and he nearly fell to the floor had it not been for Tonks's quick reactions.

"What are you doing?" Tonks demanded.

"I have to go."

"Go where?"

"Back to the pack."

Her eyes widened. "Are you INSANE?!?!"

"Where's my cloak?"

"Don't be stupid, you tosser! Get back to bed right now!"

"I need to go back there."

"Remus you nearly died!"

"Hardly." He said coldly, swaying as Tonks tried to steer him back to bed. "I'm a werewolf- there was nothing Greyback could do to harm me."

"You know as well as I do that he could have easily killed you Remus!"

Remus shook his head in protest but did not reply.

"And now he suspects you for standing up to him like that." She said, roughly forcing him back into bed.

"I had to, Dora-" he said as she threw the covers back over him and saved the tray of soup that was perched precariously on a part of the blankets.

"I know you did- that's not the problem. The problem is that he suspects you now since your cover has gone to hell in a handbasket, Dumbledore needs to know that you-"

"My cover isn't completely gone. I can cover it with a plausible excuse."

"You're not telling me you're really going back in there?" Tonks cried.

He looked up at her. "Dumbledore assigned me to the position of spying on Fenrir's pack."

"Remus you know that it would be suicidal! I'm sure that Fenrir is more than a little suspicious now about you and as soon as you set foot back there he'll have the pack tear you to pieces!"

He chose at this point to pick up his spoon and pretended to focus on finishing his soup next to him rather than admit she was right about that much.

Tonks looked as if she was fighting the temptation to take the soup from him and throw it in his face.

"Remus." She said slowly, surprisingly managing to keep her voice very steady. "Think about this rationally, or as an objective third party. Hestia already brought some medicine for you…you're not even fully recovered yet. And Dumbledore wants you to stay here…just for now until everything is sorted out."

He finally looked up at her and met her eyes straight on.

"Stay…" She whispered, her eyes pleading.

Perhaps it was the sound of desperation in her voice that sent Remus's mind flashing back to the past-he felt a shudder pass through him and couldn't help but quietly murmur the rest of the short mantra under his breath. He closed his eyes and fought back another shiver.

Brief as it was, it had not gone unnoticed by Tonks. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing my arse! Merlin's balls, the amount of martyr crap I have to put up with for you!"

"Tonks-"

"Why do I bother?" she said in exasperation, talking more to herself than to him. "Really? Why do I?"

"Tonks, perhaps-"

"Shut up." She said huffily. "Go back to sleep and I'll send a message off to Dumbledore for you. Look, here's some medicine." She held it out and then frowned at one of the bottle's small labels. "Says you need to take as often as needed for pain."

"Give them here. I'll take a small dose."

She slapped the bottle into his hand, none to gently. "I doubt fifty of those bottles would relieve half of my pain, you miserable bugger." She said before leaving him alone in the room to take some of the medicine before surrendering to an exhausted and dreamless sleep.

* * *

It had been another day- most of it spent sleeping on his part when Tonks woke him up with a small smile on her face, yesterday apparently forgotten. 

"Good afternoon, Professor. You slept the whole day."

He blinked and sat up- the dim shadows on the walls showed him that she was absolutely right.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Come here- I want you to do something."

Feeling much stronger than he had of late he sat up and she tossed him a fuzzy bathrobe.

"Put that on and follow me."

After she had left and he had tied the bathrobe tightly around him he walked down the hall where he could hear running water coming from the bathroom.

It was very cramped inside and Tonks was standing there on the edge of the tub, testing the water. It was then that Remus finally knew what Tonks was up to.

"The hot water should be just about right." Tonks said. "Sometimes if the bloke upstairs flushes his toilet though it gets kind of cold."

"Tonks, this really isn't necessary."

"I think it is." She said, dumping copious amounts of soapy liquid from a purple bottle into the tub.

"I don't take baths after transformations-"

"Well there's a first time for everything." She said capping the lid back on. "Is that enough bubbles for you?"

The bright bubbles that smelled strongly of exotic fruit and strange flowers was nearly gagging him. "That's plenty."

Seeing the cross look on his face she smiled. "Do you not want to take a bath?"

"Not really, no."

"Scared of the water?"

"No, I just don't take baths."

"Would you feel better if I got in with you?" she laughed.

He felt his ears turn bright red. "I think I'll manage." He said in a strained voice.

She let out a snort of laughter at that. "I'm kidding Remus! Merlin's beard, you're so easy to wind up." She started to squeeze past him to get to the door. "Towel's right here for when you get out." She added, pointing to it.

The embarrassing question that had been on his mind of late suddenly came to mind again as he stood there in the small cramped bathroom. Perhaps it was because he was about to take a bath for the first time in ages that had given him the nerve to finally ask it-

"Er, Tonks?"

She paused, her hand on the doorknob. "Yes?"

"I never actually asked you…were you the only one who saw me the next morning after the full moon?"

"Yup."

He could feel his face quickly turning crimson. With as much dignity as he could muster he cleared his throat quietly and asked, "So you saw…everything?"

A sly smile spread across Tonks's face. "Oh, I saw everything alright."

He stared at her, face turning brighter by the second and coughed in a lousy attempt to clear the tension.

She leaned forward and said quietly in his ear, "And if it's any comfort to you, I liked what I saw."

Remus resisted the urge to strangle himself right there with his bathrobe from sheer mortification.

She leaned back, that same sly smile on her face and gave him a quick wink before she started to head out the doorway.

"I'll be back later to see how you're doing. I was going to try to make dinner but I figured we'd be safer just ordering out. That sound good?"

He nodded numbly as she left the room and shut the door with a small snap. He could hear her walking down the hall, singing to herself. "And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever…And we'll only be making it right, cause we'll never be wrong together…"

* * *

After a long bath and with Remus smelling more like 'Wild citrus splash' than he ever had in his entire life and finally dry from his long (and were he to be entirely honest with himself, 'relaxing' bath), Remus walked into Tonk's kitchen. 

Tonks was already there, looking guilty with a piece of half eaten pizza halfway to her mouth. "Oh…sorry Remus. I got hungry and dug in already."

"That's fine." He said honestly. "I wouldn't want you to wait for me for my behalf."

He had barely gone a few paces into the kitchen when he heard something from the wireless radio that made him stop short-

"You're listening to La Boheme." Remus said in shock.

"Oh yeah." She said carelessly through a mouthful of pizza. "Well, it kinda grew on me after a bit."

"Well that's…" as he struggled to find the right word, Tonks grabbed a fork and brandished it threateningly.

"Don't think that I've given up the Weird Sisters though!"

"I never said that." Remus said, raising his arms in mock surrender.

She smiled. "Good."

He sat down and pulled a piece of pizza onto his plate.

"I put all the drinks on the table." Tonks said with a gesture. "Help yourself."

Remus helped himself to some pizza. "I've been thinking a lot lately…"

"Oh?"

There was a pause as Remus swallowed some of the pizza and Tonks munched on hers waiting for him to finish his thought.

"I think tomorrow I'll go to see Dumbledore." Remus said slowly.

Tonks stared shrewdly at him. "That's probably a good idea."

"I don't know what will happen to me and the pack. Honestly, you may very well be right. It may be over already."

Perhaps it was just his imagination, but Tonks's hair suddenly seemed a little less limp…a bit lighter too.

"Oh." She said coolly. "Well I'm sure you'll figure it out tomorrow with him. He'll be glad to talk face to face to you instead of me sending him messages instead."

He watched her chewing her pizza for a minute before turning back to his own.

It was Tonks that spoke up again, "Where will you live then if you don't go back to the pack?"

"I'm not sure." Remus admitted. "Kingsley has my trunk and such so I might go pick that up before moving to another apartment."

She nodded at this, but didn't say anything.

The longest silence yet followed. They ate their pizza pieces quietly as La Boheme played in the background and Remus began to solidify his frantic thoughts and braced himself. He was going to ask her…something he had long thought about asking for ages…Something he desperately wanted to hear an answer to, but what particular answer he could receive from her, he dreaded…

"Tonks," said Remus quietly.

She looked up at him from her pizza. "Hm?"

He cleared his throat quietly, "If I wasn't what I am…if I…" he took a deep breath. "If I wasn't a werewolf…would you ever consider...marrying me?"

The air suddenly seemed thick with the tension. She stared at him long and hard at him for a moment. She appeared to be in deep thought. He watched her, his breath held for her answer- his heart pounding furiously.

"No." she said finally.

He felt as if his insides had turned to ice. He opened his mouth, not even sure what he was going to say when Tonks cut him off-

"The only Remus Lupin I would ever marry would be the one I know now, the Remus Lupin who is a werewolf." She said finally.

For a moment, the world seemed muted and the young woman sitting across from him was all he could see-

"Oh." he said.

She looked at him expectantly and he quickly turned his head away to stare at the blank, opposing wall.

After a long, awkward silence that even the music on the radio couldn't relieve- Tonks let out one of the loudest, most exasperated sighs Remus had ever heard. He turned to look at her and saw her face was livid as she glared at her half-eaten pizza before her. Her gaze was so intense, Remus was amazed the pizza hadn't already spontaneously combusted.

"Are you alright?"

"No." Tonks said, her lips all but shaking with fury as her head snapped up to face him. "I am not bloody well alright! What the hell is wrong with you?"

He fixed her with a stern eye as he realized where this was heading, "We've gone over this before Tonks."

"Oh yes," she said sarcastically. "You snogging me in the snow before apparating away cleared up EVERYTHING going on between us and now this!"

"Alright, I apologize for-"

"Don't you dare take it back!" she said angrily. "I don't understand this? Why won't you let me in already?"

"I'm too old for you, and too poor and too-"

"What Remus? You're a werewolf? You're dangerous?!?!"

"Yes."

'"So it's this stupid argument again. What is it then? Do you think that I don't know about the dangers or do you think that I don't truly love you?"

"Tonks," he said weakly. "That isn't it at all. I'm not doubting your intelligence or your…affection. I'm still afraid of what might happen to you- what harm might come to you if I let you in."

"SOD IT REMUS!" she shouted. "Why are you still going to be a prat after all this? Did you learn ANYTHING at all this past year? I'm still willing to stand by you!"

Something seemed to snap inside him at these strong, powerful words.

"But why?" Remus said harshly. "Why, Tonks? Why are you still willing to do it?"

"Because…" said Tonks, her dark eyes blazing. "Because I love you. And that's what love is. You stand by the people you care about despite the fears and worries. Here, I'll tell you the truth. Before you I was more than slightly prejudiced. I thought werewolves were total bastards for attacking innocent children and such. I couldn't understand why anybody would want to give one a fair trial after biting a child. Yes Remus," She said, her eyes still a blazing inferno. "I admit it. Before you I thought werewolves belonged in the lowest circle of hell. But then I met you and if you remember correctly, I had no idea you were a werewolf when we first met. Had I known before, who knows what our relationship would have been like? Perhaps I never would have looked hard enough to see what I found quickly upon meeting you. When I found out what you were, it took some getting used to, yes. But when I realized how amazing you were, I also realized that it didn't matter that you were a werewolf."

"But it does matter."

"It doesn't!" she exclaimed. "Why don't you understand? It doesn't make a difference to me anymore if you are a werewolf or the richest, most gifted pureblood alive!"

Remus blinked at this. "You overcame a prejudice because of me."

"Flatter yourself all you'd like." she spat. "It's true. I did overcome it, just like Sirius. Just like your other friends, James and Lily Potter, and even Peter. Just like the small number of people you knew at one time or another that were willing to overlook a certain condition of yours because they learnt that it didn't take away from the whole picture of who you truly are."

And in that split second of a moment it was as if suddenly the world was thrown into sharper relief. The colors more vivid, the air clearer- it finally made sense to him. Beautiful, miraculous sense…but even as he stared at her, Tonks seemed to have had enough. The beautiful moment of clarity was gone as she rose to her feet and after nearly knocking over the chair, dramatically stormed from the room. Remus leapt to his feet and followed her as she turned the corner of the hallway and ran to the closest room, which Remus recognized as the toilet. Before he could shout anything to her or try to stop her she ran in and slammed the door as hard as she could behind her.

There was an odd muffled noise from the door and Remus looking up, realized that the towel that had been hanging on the doorframe was now jammed between the crack of the door and the doorframe. There was a few seconds pause where he watched the towel attempt to be pulled off the door from inside the bathroom. When it refused to budge, the door was suddenly wrenched open and the towel ripped aside before Tonks slammed the door again with all her might.

The second time, it worked.

* * *

_Author's note: I don't have any time…I don't have an editor…Neither of those factors help me while I attempt to write this crazy story at ungodly hours, but we plow on together, eh? _


	25. A Little More Love

_Author's note: Wow. I have no excuse for my lateness in putting this out besides the usual excuse: my life is just one maddening, chaotic cesspool. I'm so sorry._

_This chapter was hard. I've read the same damn chapters in half blood prince about a million times, but some things still don't make sense to me. Like where certain characters were at certain times and such. Ex: How many Death Eaters were there total? Where was everyone as Harry ran away after Snape? And the number one question of the series- Fenrir has the full body bind put on him, how the __hell__ does he get out of it and leave the building?!?!? Also it seems to me that this chapter has the most stolen lines from a Harry Potter book, but I felt it was necessary to the storyline and besides, trying to rewrite Rowling's beautiful work is an impossible task. It was far too perfect the way it was…_

…_of course, she COULD have written a ton more on Remus and Tonks's parts so that I wouldn't feel the need to have to write this story but whatever. Can't have everything I suppose._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty five- A Little More Love**

If Albus Dumbledore had wanted to put Remus in the most awkward position imaginable he couldn't have done it more properly.

Remus had been summoned to patrol the school corridors with Bill Weasley and none other than Nymphadora Tonks. From the sounds of it, McGonagall was going to join them as well.

Dumbledore had been quite vague about where he was planning on going, simply saying that he'd be off for a short time and he would be back hopefully by the morning at the very latest. So the Order had in shorts, been assigned to Argus Filch's duty of patrolling the school.

It wasn't so much the assignment he had concerns with; it was who he was with.

Since that fateful day several weeks ago, Remus had effectively avoided Nympahdora Tonks like dragon pox. The day after the disastrous incident held over the pizza, Remus had left early the next morning and had finally received his wand from a silent and cold Tonks. She had not protested his departure- in fact, she hadn't spoken to him at all and since that morning when they said their short and chilly goodbyes- neither of them had spoken to the other one since.

Remus had been unable to return to his mission as a spy among Fenrir's pack. When he had met with Dumbledore he thought his former headmaster would be disappointed in him but he was not, he seemed to understand the situation perfectly. They were both dismayed over the death of Davey Montgomery however. Since that private meeting, Dumbledore had given Remus several different missions in the Order that he took up with zealous relish. By burying himself in work, Remus had been desperately trying to avoid the woman that was constantly on his mind during the daytime and more so in his dreams….Yet Tonks seemed determined to ignore him, and when their eyes did momentarily catch each others at various Order meetings, it was an almost angry glare that appeared etched on her pale face.

And there he was standing beside her, the closest to her that he had been in weeks as Dumbledore was saying goodbye to them all.

"-what do you mean, be on the lookout for anything 'unusual'?" Bill asked Dumbledore.

"Oh, the common sort of unusual." Dumbledore said with a small smile. "Just keep your guard as you patrol the corridors. If I return-"

"If?" Remus asked sharply.

Dumbledore turned to him and fixed him with a knowing stare. "Perhaps I ought to have said, 'When I return,' Remus? But these are dark times, and dark times call for dangerous risks."

Despite saying something so ominous, the old wizard looked almost cheerful.

"Headmaster," Remus said. "It's not my place to ask, but will you be alright where you are going? Do you need extra assistance? Perhaps one of us could act as an additional guard-"

"A comforting notion, but an unavailable one nonetheless. No, I shall be able to defend myself adequately enough where I am going."

Remus stared shrewdly at Dumbledore who turned back to Bill and Tonks. "I spoke to Minerva not very long ago so I expect that she will be here soon, perhaps you two can discuss which particular places to start patrol and Remus if you would be so kind as to have a small chat with me for a moment before I go..."

Recognizing that Dumbledore wanted a private word, Remus walked alongside his old headmaster as they slowly started to head down the corridor together.

Dumbledore spoke first. "Do you remember what I told you and Kingsley last week before you went off on your mission together?"

Remus nodded. "You told us to 'Trust Harry. He is our best hope.'"

Dumbledore smiled. "Remember that."

"Of course I will."

There was a pause between them, Remus thinking quickly….

"You're taking Harry with you tonight, aren't you?" he asked shrewdly.

Dumbledore bowed his head but said nothing. His silence was his affirmation of Remus's guess.

Remus let out his breath slowly. If there was anybody he would trust to take care of the boy it would none other than the elderly headmaster himself. "Good luck Headmaster."

Dumbledore's light blue eyes fell on him, piercing him- "You have grown up to be a brave man Remus."

"I'm glad that I was given the chance."

A look of understanding seemed to pass between them. Remus put out his hand and Dumbledore took it to shake a solemn goodbye. "One more thing Remus."

"Yes?"

Dumbledore was already moving down the dark corridor that lead to the entrance hall. His tone was calm and not at all reproachful but his words still shocked Remus- "Don't leave her again."

He blinked. "Headmaster?"

But Dumbledore had already turned the corner and was gone.

He stood there, rooted to the spot feeling stunned when suddenly there came a shout behind him-

"Lupin!"

He turned to see Bill and Tonks standing there, obviously in mid conversation that Bill had just broke off.

"How would you feel about patrolling with Tonks on the east side of the castle?"  
"I already said I'd patrol alone or with McGongall!" Tonks said furiously.

Remus was about to say he'd prefer if Tonks had her own way when he suddenly remembered Dumbledore's last words. "I think it's safer actually if we were to divide ourselves up equally."

A dangerous look came over Tonks's face. "Equally?" she spat, still facing Bill but it was obvious who she was really addressing. "And what does that imply, exactly?"

"I didn't mean that any of us are better than the others-" Remus said quickly, also facing Bill instead of whom he was talking too. "But perhaps if were to split up equally by gender-"

"And what does THAT mean?" Tonks said angrily as Bill took a nervous step backwards. "Is the spirit of the sexist Mad-Eye here or something? Will me and McGonagall's feminine scruples cause us to botch up the job? Or are we not capable of handling the possibility of a stray male adolescent wandering the halls on our own?"

"That's not what I meant." Remus said. "In light of the situation it would be better that we went in pairs and…"

He glanced over and trailed off at the sight of Tonks's face, her eyebrows growing more narrowed by the second.

"He has a point." Bill said, still looking slightly apprehensive. "Not that I'm thrilled about patrolling with McGongall but it makes sense."

Tonks crossed her arms and said nothing. Remus ran a hand through his graying hair wishing he was far, far away from this awkward situation.

Bill raised an eyebrow as he looked at them both. "Are you two alright?"

"Fine." They snapped in unison.

Bill frowned. "It's just that you both seem a little…"

He trailed off as they both gave him a dangerous, warning look. "Right." He said with obviously as much cheerful force as he could muster. "You two will take the east side of the castle for now and me and old McGongall will take the other side. We can check in on each other every hour."

Tonks nodded at this and then turned and began to walk down the hallway without waiting for Remus. Shaking his head at Bill's silent inquiry, Remus ran after her to catch up.

As he fell into step beside her he could have sworn that under her breath she muttered, 'L'awkward."

They walked along in silence, Remus thinking for a moment about some of the darker thoughts that had been weighing heavily on his mind for quite a bit. Hearing the story from Tonks of how she had been stalked by Randolph Horrell and nearly bitten by Fenrir himself had put her in a horribly risky position. He didn't need Dumbledore's words of advice to help him out on that. The knowledge that Tonks had been in danger while he had ran with the pack had made him feel ashamed of himself and terrified for her future safety.

As he walked beside her he made a vow to himself. He couldn't allow himself to engage in the idea of what happiness with her might consist of and he couldn't entertain the emotions of anything deeper than platonic friendship. He hated to do it, but he knew that was what had to be. He would watch over Tonks and protect her…he wanted to badly- just as long as he remained hidden in the shadows behind her for the rest of his life. He belonged to the shadows, and the nymph at his side belonged to the light…that was all there was to it.

* * *

Tonks was seriously considering murder at that point. Remus Lupin was the biggest bastard ever. He was maddening. That day at her flat he was so close…soooooo close to actually saying the words that she had been dying to hear from his lips for months, but no. He had pulled another brilliant act of supreme cowardice, or nobility or whatever the hell it was called. Not that she cared anymore… 

Walking beside him she tried to watch him from the corner of her eye and could only see the side of his neck- she was torn between wringing it or planting furious kisses on it, it was a tough call to make-

She had been staring a bit too long- she tripped over a rug and stumbled.

Remus, as always, caught her just in time. "Steady…" he said gently.

For a moment, her biting reply was stuck in her throat. The touch from his gentle hands on her had caught her more off guard then the near fall had. Being this close to him- him just touching her…she seemed to have lost half of her brain cells-

"I used to fall down this hallway a lot when I was younger." She said lamely, anger momentarily forgotten.

He smiled faintly as she stood up straight again. "I hope someone was there to catch you or that would have lead to some very nasty bruises."

"Well you had long since graduated Hogwarts before I came along so-"

She realized that the lines on Remus's face had just gotten a whole lot darker.

_Bollocks. I mention the age gap between us off hand and he gets all sensitive about it again…_

The very long stretch of time that soon followed was filled with utter silence making things both dull and awkward…it seemed like hours passed by, as they covered the school including many of the secret passageways. Tonks thought she knew most of them (having been a rather adventurous and rebellious student in her youth) but Remus stopped several unexpected times to add more protective spells to ones she had never known of before. She wanted to ask him where half of them led to or how he had discovered them, but since she was angry at him she decided not to oblige.

Tonks sighed heavily. It wasn't as if Voldemort was just going to come flying into the castle when Dumbledore was away- Dumbledore had been away most of the year and nothing of particular importance had happened. Besides, the school had naturally powerful enchantments on every entrance of the castle. It was nearly impossible for someone to try and break in.

She tried to direct her attention by focusing and thinking on the task she was doing. 'Constant vigilance' as Moody had told her many a time, but she could only inwardly wallow and seethe at the miserable situation she was standing in.

Perhaps she should've given up hope long ago. Perhaps it really had been just a waste of time on her part. She had felt differently about Remus and had waited for him longer than any other man in her entire miserable love life but maybe it had all been for naught. Maybe she was an idiot to have waited this long. Standing behind him as he added another charm to a secret corridor, and feeling more miserable then ever she made a face at his turned back.

"Tonks you really shouldn't make faces like that when people's backs are turned." He said without turning around to face her.

She stared at his back, utterly shocked. "How did you know that I made a face at you?"

"Because I can see your reflection in the suit of armor in front of me." He said calmly and she could make out just the slightest hint of amusement hidden under that casual, hoarse voice.

She stood there, her mouth open in indignant rage. _Damn him._

He turned around slowly, his face arranged into the most neutral of expressions. "Is something wrong?" he asked politely.

"No, what could possibly be wrong?" Tonks snarled.

"Alright then."

Her mouth dropped as she watched him turn away from her virtually ignore her as he headed down the corridor. She raced up to his side-"You're just going to leave it at that? When you KNOW something is wrong?"

"You said that there wasn't."

"I'd have thought my tone of voice made it pretty obvious that there was,Professor!"

He opened his mouth but suddenly a voice at the end of the hallway cut them off.

"Professor Lupin!"

"Tonks!"

They turned to see two red headed children and another familiar boy sprinting up to them looking frantic.

"Ginny?!?!"

Ron opened his mouth to speak but Ginny cut him off-

"Thank god we found you! It's Malfoy- he's brought Death Eaters right into the school!"

Tonks felt a wave of horror and a surge of heart racing adrenaline as she heard Ginny's words. She couldn't help it. She had expected guard duty, but this? It had to be the most unexpected, worst case scenario yet.

"How?" Remus asked sharply. "How did they get in?"

"The room of requirement." Neville said. "Where we used to have the DA meetings last year."

"Lead us to them." Tonks said, stepping forward. The three children took off, Tonks right behind them. It took her a moment to realize that Remus wasn't beside her. She turned and saw him, sending off a patronus down the corridor for McGongall and Bill.

"Oh, good thinking." She conceded. "Those of us who are unfortunate enough to possess the Black blood are a bit too reckless sometimes."

"And us Weasley's are incapable of understanding the true meaning of personal danger." Ginny said from at her side.

Tonks gave her a quick smile as they ran down the deserted hallway, the children hastily explaining the situation as they ran to the scene.

" We were guarding the room of requirement-'''

"-and Malfoy had his hand of glory we think, and-"

"-he threw something into the air and it was all black-"

"we tried to find a way out, we could hear people running past us and we tried to follow them but then we ran into you-"

Tonks forced away a very gruesome image of what would have happened if the three school children had encountered the Death Eaters without running into her and Remus first.

It seemed to take no time at all

"There they are!" Ginny exclaimed.

Sure enough ahead of them in the dimly lit corridor were the Death Eaters heading quickly toward the Astronomy tower's staircase. Tonks sent a stunning spell at them even before Ginny's words and the Death Eaters rounded on them as the spell narrowly missed one of their fellow's heads.

As she immediately engaged in a duel with one of the many now scattered and off-guard Death Eaters she glimpsed a Death Eater named Gibbon break away and race up the tower stairs- the Malfoy boy (her cousin, she reminded herself in a small back part of her mind- ) was nowhere to be seen…

She heard a shout from another one of the Death Eaters and in the briefest of glances saw Bill and Professor McGongall rushing onto the scene. Though the numbers were slightly more even now- most of the fighters against the Death Eaters were underage wizards. Tonks felt a stab of horror as she thought of the earlier mental image that had come to mind and propelled by this terrifying thought she sent a flurry of jinxes at her Death Eater.

_Where on earth is Malfoy? _She wondered as she momentarily helped out Ginny by sending over a hex at her opponent.

Across the room she glimpsed Remus dueling with another Death Eater and saw him duck not a moment too soon from a killing curse that had been aimed at him. It skimmed just over the top of his head and hit Gibbon who had just reappeared at the bottom of the stairs.

Tonks let out her breath she hadn't realized she was holding in a loud whoosh. One down. she thought dryly as she sent over another stunning spell at the Death Eater who had tried to catch her off guard. Their spells collided in midair and Tonks took a step backwards, only to stumble over the back of her own robes forcing her into a sort of spin. The distraction would be costly and as she raised her head half expecting to see an oncoming spell she was surprised to see that Bill had jumped between her and the Death Eater and had sent a jinx at her opponent.

"You owe me one Tonks!" he shouted over the roar of the battle.

"I was practicing my dancing!" she retorted.

He flashed her a grin and jumped to the side as a short death eater by the name of Alecto charged at him.

Tonks a few moments later had just managed to temporarily bring down the Death Eater she had been dueling with when she suddenly she saw him. A large man wearing Death Eater robes that looked too tight and bore a face she had seen on many wanted posters for some time; had just lunged at Bill who had not expected the unexpected attack from the side. Against Fenrir Greyback's legendary strength and speed Bill hadn't the chance or time to defend himself from an attack that didn't include wands or magic…

_"_BILL!" she screamed. Over the bursting of spells and the shouts she doubted her voice was even heard over it all but she sprinted forward across the crowded room while sending a curse right at Fenrir. He had twisted out of the way just in time and she watched in horror as Bill fell to the floor, his hands covering his face- Tonks could see blood welling between his fingers-

As the spell went by him, Fenrir noticed and he turned sharply on her, his mouth twisted into a terrible smile. Blood was dripping from his sharpened teeth and dribbling all over his chin. He ran a tongue over his lips as if he was savoring the taste- and then suddenly he lunged at her.

Tonks threw up a shield charm not a moment too soon. As she did so however, a stray Death Eater's jinx caused a large cracked part of the ceiling to fall beside her, causing her to momentarily stumble forward-

Fenrir was inches from her now and she didn't have time to raise her wand.

Instead she brought her elbow back hard and swung- the point of it smashing into the side of Fenrir's face.

It hurt her terribly, sending a jolt of pain to go shooting up her arm but it seemed to have momentarily stunned Fenrir for the a few seconds.

Tonks stared at the werewolf before her in revulsion,

"You sick fuck."

She brought her wand slashing through the air and Fenrir let out a snarl of pain as he stumbled backwards- finally realizing that her wrath was not something so easily dismissed.

"That one was for Bill!" she spat before bringing her wand across again, sending another crippling blow to the stumbling werewolf who let out a howl of rage as he was cornered against the wall now.

"That was for Davey Montgomery!"

She ducked a curse that had come out of nowhere and with all her anger and willpower sent her wand slicing through the air in a way that would have made her aunt proud- the werewolf who had started to try and run from her was blasted backwards toward the stairs, crumpling to the floor.

"And THAT was for Remus Lupin you vile piece of scum!"

She sent a stunning spell at him but suddenly someone smashed into her, sending her to the floor in a crumpled heap. She looked up frantically and saw Fenrir leap unsteadily to his feet before racing up the tower stairs.

_Damn!_

She ran forward but nearly collided right into McGongall who was dueling fiercely with a brutal faced looking death eater who upon noticing Fenrir's escape, ran up after him. McGongall turned and ran across the other side of the room sending spells at another Death Eater who had just blasted one of the glass windows with an off target curse. The room seemed slightly less full of Death Eaters now- Tonks felt a terrible sinking feeling in her gut as she realized that most of them had all run up the tower. She ran forward, but Neville Longbottom was ahead of her- running at the stairs at a full sprint. Upon reaching the foot of the staircase he was blasted backward as if he had collided into a brick wall. He fell to the ground and lay there, and Tonks jumped between him and a giant blonde death eater who had just sent a curse at the fallen Neville.

The Death Eater was huge- at least twice her size in both height and width, and seemed to have no care that his wild spells were going in no apparent direction, but bouncing off the walls aiming at both friend and foe. While Tonks frantically dueled the giant Death Eater she saw a flash of black robes that she knew did not belong to a death eater-

_Snape!_

Never had she been so happy at the arrival of her former greasy haired potions master-but when she had finished throwing another hex at the Death Eater before her and looked quickly around to see where Snape was, he was gone. The Order was loosing, Dumbledore was gone and Bill was now bleeding heavily on the floor somewhere nearby with no one to help him-

_We're in a pickle now…_

* * *

Remus in the middle of a duel-had just seen with a sudden stop of his heart none other than Fenrir Greyback race up the astronomy tower steps. McGongall took his place in his duel as Remus lunged forward and raced towards the foot of the stairs only to see Neville Longbottom be thrown violently backwards from it. Only seconds later- there was a flash of black robes and Severus Snape appeared from the battle running through the obvious magical barrier as if there were nothing before him- 

Remus ran forward towards the steps, but the barrier remained just as solid and unyielding for him as it had been with Neville.

"They've blocked the stairs!" Remus shouted. "Reducto! REDUCTO!"

But it seemed to have no impact on the invisible barrier.

Ron had appeared by his side, and he too was throwing desperate spells at the barrier which were bouncing away like Remus's but Remus wouldn't stop. He kept trying everything he knew, fighting away like a maniac because the one thing he knew was that Harry was with Dumbledore- Harry could be in danger- and some of the Death Eaters had escaped.

The one consolidation he had was that Snape was there- Snape would try to help of course-

He threw another spell and watched it uselessly be absorbed into the blank, unyielding air before him.

Perhaps Dumbledore and Harry wouldn't even be there at that top of the tower- there was no reason to believe they'd come back already and no reason why they would go to the top of the astronomy tower- But Gibbon who had ran up the tower stairs earlier could not have been going up to enjoy the night sky. Remus suspected he had sent up the Dark Mark already- perhaps they were waiting for Dumbledore and Harry to swallow the bait and go there, but no one had been killed yet.

_Yet…_

The single word sent a surge of panic through him and Remus angrily ran forward at the barrier and as he reached it, felt himself be thrown backwards as if he had been roughly pushed back by someone the size of the Death Eater that Tonks was now dueling.

The blonde Death Eater seemed to be absolutely out of control- jinxes were bouncing off the walls and just barely missing everyone. Remus who had put out his hand to push himself up off the floor almost had it blasted before his eyes as a jinx put a crater size hole in the floor a millisecond after he had lifted his hand.

Ginny was trying to make her way through the rubble with Professor McGongall- both visibly unhurt to Remus's relief- in the flashing of spells he couldn't see Bill or Neville. He could hear Neville groaning nearby though so at least he knew the boy was alive which was a relief.

Suddenly there was a loud noise from above that sounded like a crack of lightening. Remus's head went up instantly and he saw that the blonde Death Eater had just sent a jinx at the ceiling right above the doorframe to the stairs.

There was a few seconds of utter silence and then a loud, deafening rumble as half the ceiling caved in. Remus could hear Ron let out an angry swearword as the stones came tumbling down. He sent over a shield charm at a nearby Neville so the boy wouldn't be hurt by the falling boulders and ducked as stone grit began to fall on them all like rain.

Coughing and gasping were the only sounds for a moment before the large Death Eater continued to send curses haphazardly about the room as if nothing had happened. A large cloud of dust was growing larger by the second and Remus blindly ran towards the tower staircase-

Two dark figures emerged from at the foot of the stairs. Remus had his wand raised ready to curse them when the smoke parted for a moment and he saw that it was Snape and Malfoy.

Remus let out a sigh of relief- perhaps there had been nothing to worry about afterall. Harry and Dumbledore obviously weren't back or they would have come out with Snape and Malfoy as well-

There was a yell and suddenly Death Eaters were pouring out of the stairway- wands raised and in a few chaotic seconds, the room was full of flashes again and the shouting of spells. Remus could distinctly hear Snape shout- "Its over, time to go!"

_What was 'over'?_ Remus thought as he dueled one of the Death Eaters, but he couldn't focus on Snape's words when the heat of battle made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything but staying alive.

There was a bright flash from one of the other nearby duels and in that split second, Remus saw him. Harry Potter was at the foot of the tower stairs, his face pale and the look in his green eyes was that of wild determination. Though he was too wound up in the state of battle to ponder why Harry had just appeared from out of nowhere, Remus felt a cold stab of fear. He had seen that look on far too many fighter's faces before they led themselves to their immediate, reckless destruction.

"Harry!" he shouted as he sent a jinx at the Death Eater before him.

But Harry seemed to be deaf to his cries that were most likely lost to the noisy battle that engulfed them on all sides. Remus glimpsed the boy run forward into the fray before turning back to the Death Eater he was dueling.

The Death Eaters seemed to be fleeing. Remus saw Alecto and Amycus Carrow running down the hallway after Snape and Malfoy. Were they chasing them or just trying to escape? Remus's death eater seemed to realize that half of his crowd were leaving and with a terrified bellow he ran after them.

The enormous blonde death eater let out a yell as a hex hit him suddenly in the face and he too bolted after Alecto and Amycus. Nearby Remus could see McGongall had engaged in a duel with another death eater and as he glanced about again he saw Harry at a full sprint taking off down the hallway that the Death Eaters had gone down.

"Harry!" Remus shouted. "HARRY!"

A movement against the wall caught his eye and as he turned, time seemed to slow to a crawl. His blood which had been surging with fiery adrenaline before now quickly turned to a black, seething bloodlust similar to when he was transformed as a werewolf-

Fenrir Greyback.

Remus couldn't stop himself- the last time they had been this close was out in the woods- the Montgomery's woods right before the moon had risen and Fenrir had bitten that little boy…Davey…a boy had been killed because of Fenrir, and Tonks had been in danger too-

Remus let out an inarticulate yell of rage as he sent a spell right at the sneaking werewolf. Unfortunately it missed him by the narrowest of hairs and he jumped backwards- his eyes narrowed as they darted about the room looking for his foe.

Remus charged and Fenrir's blood-stained teeth bared as he saw him. Remus sent another spell at Fenrir and the werewolf ducked with reflexes so fast he was a blur. As they fought- Remus sending spells and Fenrir ducking them as he tried to run, he knew that he had the upper hand. Fenrir wouldn't try to attack him like this when Remus had his wand in his hand and was using it with an unabated fury.

There was a scream from behind him, "REMUS!"

He knew instinctively that it was Tonks but he could only focus on trying to curse the werewolf before him to make him suffer. He was allowing himself to succumb to fight for revenge- revenge for Bronagh, Davey and all the other hundreds of bitten victims this monster had brought into the world.

"Catch me—if you can—Lupin!" panted the werewolf as he ducked another burst of spells from Remus.

Remus raised his wand again, his lined face contorted with fury- and a sudden spell from behind went shooting past his ear. The spell had thrown him off balance for the briefest of seconds and that was all Fenrir needed. As Remus glimpsed the Death Eater behind him who had tried to curse him- Fenrir ran.

Furious at the distraction, Remus ran forward after Fenrir but felt another spell from the death eater hit him from behind, this one meeting its mark-

"Crucio!"

White hot daggers were piercing him all over- for a moment, Remus forgot everything, but as the pain mounted he remembered and determined to resist, Remus stumbled forward trying to follow Fenrir- his limbs twitching and writhing, resisting his attempts to ignore the blinding pain. He felt himself fall forward, engulfed in the overwhelming agony-

"NO!" shouted a voice and the spell lifted. Remus sat up, dazed and unfocused as the Death Eater ran down the corridor after Fenrir.

There was a blast of red light as Tonks sent another spell after the running Death Eater. Remus got to his feet and stumbled before starting to set off down the hall-

"Remus, no!" Tonks had grabbed the front of his robes and was holding him tightly.

"There are…students in the building, Tonks…Greyback-"

"I'm going now-" said another nearby voice. Minvera McGongall was sprinting down the hall, her square glasses slightly askew. "No harm will come to a Hogwarts student inside of these walls!"

The pain was slowly subsiding. Tonks was still holding him up by his robes, her dark eyes almost frightened as she started intently into his face.

"Thank you." He whispered, his breathing still heavy.

Tonks looked as if she were having an inward struggle with herself and in the end, settled for gently letting go of him and smoothing down a torn part of his robes with her hand.

"You're welcome." She said.

Remus stood there swaying- trying to think of what to do next…

Ginny Weasley suddenly let out a scream. "Bill!"

Remus turned at the terrified scream and saw Ginny at Bill's side looking frantic as she gazed down at her older brother.

"Bill!"

Remus felt a stab of horror. He raced forward his legs still feeling heavy and unsteady as he climbed over the large bits of fallen ceiling and the cracked, dusty ground to kneel by Bill's side. It was as if he were looking into a stranger's face. It was so distorted and deformed under all the blood, he never would have even guessed that this had once been the handsome Bill Weasley. And those claw marks were terribly familiar….

But he was breathing. Despite the fact that his face was horribly damaged, he was visibly alive.

Tonks fell to her knees beside him. "He's alright- he's alive...just unconscious." she said to Ginny who looked utterly petrified.

"We'll have to get him to Madam Pomprey." Tonks said quickly, turning to him and Remus nodded his agreement.

Tonks tore off a apart of her ripped sleeve on her robes to try and stop the flow of blood on Bill. Within a few alarming seconds, the cloth had turned a dark, angry crimson. Remus looked back over at his former students, Ron was starting to come over to see Bill, a shocked expression on his pale, freckled face. "Ron, would you help carry Neville to the hospital wing?"

"Yeah, sure." said Ron slowly, as he began to retreat- his eyes never leaving Bill's face as he reluctantly made his way over to a groaning Neville.

"We'll lift him on the count of three." Tonks was saying and then stopped, Bill's limp arm over her shoulder. "Where's Ginny?"

Ron nearly dropped Neville.

Remus eyed the bloody footprints leading away through the thin dust cloud and Tonks followed his eyes and drew breath sharply.

"Ah," she said. "I should have guessed."

"Let's get Bill to the hospital wing-" said Remus. "And Neville too while we're at it."

"Where's my sister?" Ron asked, still looking about.

But Tonks spoke up, "I think she went to follow Harry."

Ron swore very loudly.

"McGongall went that way too." Remus added hoarsely. He felt exhausted, but the fear of not knowing where Harry was in this terrible situation was keeping his nerves more alert than ever before.

Tonks started to heave Bill to his feet. "I want to find them after we get Bill taken care of."

Remus took hold of Bill's other side. "I'll be there too."

* * *

Remus could have put money down that the last thing Madam Pomprey had expected to see upon being woken up at such a late hour was a man with such a bloody visage he looked as if he were wearing a Halloween mask. From seeing her shocked expression, he believed that the old matron had been a second away from swearing- but she caught herself quickly and set about getting ready to work remarkably fast. 

"Are you two hurt?" she inquired of Remus and talks as they both lay Bill gently on the bed.

"No." Tonks said as Remus shook his head.

She looked at them, momentarily shocked. "Not at all?"

Tonks spoke up, "Madam Pomprey...Bill!"

"Of course dear." said the matron as she hastily got to work on the oldest Weasley boy. "But it's odd coming from you both. I daresay I spent more time nursing up various injuries from you two then the rest of the students in your years combined."

Indeed when Remus had walked into the hospital wing, it had all been very strange. It seemed as if he had spent at least half of his school years in there, recovering from monthly transformations. It certainly wasn't helping his nerves in his current state to be standing there again.

Hermione and Luna Lovegood arrived just seconds later with a still rather frantic looking Ginny who had been sent to the hospital wing at McGongall's orders when she ran into her. At Remus's immediate inquiry she told him that she had not found Harry.

Madam Pomprey was still working furiously with Bill's wounds- wand in one hand, a jar of some foul smelling liquid in the other, murmuring incantations as she worked on Bill's newly acquired scars.

"It seems as if the whole school is awake now." Hermione was saying quickly, after being reunited with Ron. "What's going on?"

"Well there was a fight up at the Astronomy Tower-" Ron said in a hollow voice as he stared blankly at one Bill's medicine bottles. "Obviously. And Harry's run off after Snape and Malfoy-"

"Harry's back then?" asked Hermione. "Then where is Dumbledore?"

Remus until then had not thought of the elderly headmaster, but now that Hermione mentioned it- it seemed an alarming question. Where was he? Surely he wouldn't have let Harry run off on his own after the Death Eaters?

No sooner had he thought this and watched as Madam Pomprey turned to get new supplies for Bill- Hermione finally caught a good look at Bill and she gasped loudly, "Oh my goodness…Bill!"

Ron stared at his brother's face in numb silence as blood continued to dribble down the cloth Madam Pomprey had just laid there, as she reached for another bottle and flipped to a page in an ancient looking book she had brought out and perched on the bedside table.

"It was Fenrir." Tonks said in a hollow voice. "I saw it happen."

A hushed silence fell over them all.

Remus caught Tonks's eye and held it as they exchanged a look of silent understanding over the body of Bill that might have lasted forever if Hermione hadn't spoken up to Madam Pomprey, breaking the slience-

"There's no way you can fix them, is there?"  
The matron shook her head. "No. He won't look the same way again- I can try everything I know, but the fact is werewolf bites never heal properly."

"What about the aftereffects?" Hermione asked timidly.

"I don't know that either." said Madam Pomprey nervously. "Not until he wakes up at least."

Neville let out the smallest of groans and Madam Pomprey rounded on him. "Why haven't you taken the medicine I've given you?" she demanded.

"I want to stay awake-"

"-I've already told you my boy that sleeping is apart of that particular potion! You have to take it to get better-"

"I want to know what's going on-"

"Don't worry, Neville." said Luna Lovegood suddenly in her soft dreamy voice- "We'll tell you everything later if something important comes along."

Hermione nodded and Ron managed to tear his eyes away from his older brother and add in a flat voice that was obviously trying to sound encouraging, "Yeah…go ahead Neville."

After a few seconds, Neville's face still screwed up with pain as he tried to appear defiant- he reached for the potion bottle by his bedside.

"Drink it up." said Madam Pomprey as she turned back to Bill.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Neville slumped back amongst the pillows in a deep sleep and the bottle fell from his limp hand where it would have smashed on the floor if Hermione hadn't caught it in time.

The minutes ticked by agonizingly slow as everyone watched helplessly as Madam Pomprey cleaned Bill up. Suddenly a sharp movement caught Remus's eye and he looked up to see Tonks looking about the deserted ward as if she was looking for something, "Where's Ginny?"

Everyone, even Madam Pomprey turned to look about the ward.

"I think she's gone outside." Luna stated calmly.

Tonks made a move towards the door at the end of the ward, but Remus reached out and grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"Tonks-"

She rounded on him looking furious that he had touched her and yanked her wrist away from him as if she had been burned. "What? I'm just going out in the hall to check and see-"

"McGongall gave us orders to stay here."

"Well somebody already broke them so I don't feel that bad about going out to see-"

"I'll go then, and you just-"

"-stay here?" she finished, in the most acid of tones.

"Tonks please-"

"Forget it-"

Just then, at the far end of the ward, the doors suddenly swung open. Remus heard Tonks let out an enormous sigh of relief. To Remus's own utter relief Harry walked in looking utterly exhausted, with Ginny close behind him. Hermione ran forward to Harry and hugged him and Remus was right behind her-

"Are you all right, Harry?" he asked anxiously. He was safe….he was alive…It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his chest and he could breath easier. Despite this miraculous relief, Remus wondered where Dumbledore was. Surely he would want to keep an eye on Harry in all this confusion? He had to be coming by in another minute or so….

"I'm fine." said Harry carelessly. "How's Bill?"

Remus watched as Harry looked about the room and his gaze fell upon the newly mutilated appearance of Bill.

"Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" he asked Madam Pomfrey.

"No charm will work on these," said Madam Pomfrey heavily. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites."

_Don't I know it._ Remus couldn't help but think dryly.

"But he wasn't bitten at the full moon," said Ron, who was still staring in shock at his oldest brother's face. "Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a—a real—?"

Ron's eyes slid to him, his face still etched with fear and uncertainty. Remus had the sensation that suddenly everybody was hanging onto his every word.

"No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf." He said slowly. "But that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and –and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on."

Remus could only feel guilt and frustration that he couldn't have finished Fenrir off when he had the chance earlier. He had been so close…

"Dumbledore might know something that'd work, though," Ron said. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state—"

"Ron—Dumbledore's dead." said Ginny.

It was in that moment that Remus's world finally seemed to collapse and shatter. Though the night had thrown many different changing and challenging obstacles, Remus had held his thoughts and emotions in check, but this news made it all blasted into oblivion.

"No!" he said loudly. He looked wildly from Ginny to Harry waiting for him- waiting for anyone to say that this was false, a lie, an appalling untruth-

And there was nothing but silence. Harry's brilliant green eyes just held grim acknowledgment of Ginny's terrible words.

He was truly gone then.

Remus fell backwards into a chair beside Bill's bed- if the chair hadn't been there he probably would have fallen to the floor. He didn't care though. He buried his head in his hands trying- trying beyond endurance to pull back snapped threads of an old reality- another world…

But it was useless. It always had been useless. Since the moment he had been bitten as a small child, the world seemed to destroy itself around him in wrathful waves-his family- James and Lily- Sirius- Dumbledore…

But he had known. Just as he had always known deep down as soon as Harry had walked into the ward- before that even- perhaps even before Dumbledore himself left his side a mere few hours ago…he had known in his heart that Dumbledore was gone.

It wasn't grief he was trying to cope with- he knew from experience that the grief took days, weeks- even months to come to terms with. In that moment it was just plain shock that he had to overcome. The three words- a sort of morbid mantra, 'Dumbledore is dead'. To accept them, to even process the words in his brain and understand their meaning was what he had to come to terms with there.

He was only drawn back to reality- a floating, dreamlike state- as he felt rather than heard Tonks take the smallest of steps towards him. "How did he die?" whispered Tonks. "How did it happen?"

It seemed as if everything was suspended on this terrible moment- he didn't want to hear it- he couldn't hear it…but he had to know…

"Snape killed him," said Harry. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that's where the Mark was….Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realized it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilized me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak—and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him—"

He saw Hermione clap her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned out loud. Luna Lovegood's mouth trembled.

"—more Death Eaters arrived—and then Snape—and Snape did it. The _Avada Kedavra."_

_Snape…Snape killed Dumbledore. _And he had had Snape at wand point earlier before letting him pass- still believing- still foolishly believing Snape was their ally. How much of that wretched man would Remus have to endure? The man who seemed to have a hand in most of the destruction of Remus's friends and their eventual demises. Remus sat there, his heart feeling more and more painfully tight by the second. It was like when he had seen Fenrir again, the poisonous rage was quickly coming back to him. Remus wanted Snape dead. And he wanted to be the one to kill him.

Deep down he knew that he was letting his anger get the better of him- but the overwhelming desire to run off and kill the man in revenge for Dumbledore's unnecessary death was more than a little tempting.

He had to hear the whole story…he had to know the truth….McGongall soon arrived and the truth did quickly start to unfold- the horrible truth- how Dumbledore had honestly believed Snape was sorry he had killed James and Lily…how Draco Malfoy had gotten the Death Eaters into the school….the fight that broke out around the tower stairs…

Tonks was talking now in a unusually hollow voice, "We just let them pass, we thought they were being chased by Death Eaters –and next thing, the other Death Eaters and Greyback were back and we were fighting again—I thought I heard Snape shout something, but I don't know what—"

"He shouted 'It's over,'" said Harry. "He'd done what he'd meant to do."

The silence that followed this statement was long and suffocating. It truly was over. The world as Remus had once known it was gone forever… resigned to ashes….resigned to dust…just like Dumbledore…

Out on the grounds he could hear Fawkes singing a lament. The audible sorrow from Dumbledore's faithful pet was perhaps the only thing in the world that could match Remus's grief. He buried his head in his hands again,

_It is over._

* * *

Tonks stood there feeling numb. Dumbledore was dead. Dumbledore had been killed….killed by Snape. How could something like this happen? She half expected the world to stop spinning when Ginny had told them the terrible news- It couldn't possibly be true, and yet it was- 

The doors of the hospital wing burst open suddenly with such a loud bang, they all jumped in surprise. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had arrived at last with a terrified Fleur right behind them.

McGongall got to her feet- "Molly—Arthur—" she said, "I am so sorry—"

Tonks did not blame Molly Weasely in the slightest for all but ignoring McGongall as she caught sight of her son's mangled face and pushed past them all, "Bill…Oh Bill!"

Tonks hastily stood up and Remus by her side got up as well so they could move aside to allow Mr. and Mrs. Weasley the chance to get nearer to the bed. Tonks watched as Mrs. Weasley bent over her son and pressed her trembling lips to his bloody forehead. As McGonagall and Mr. Weasley talked, Tonks could not help but stare at Fleur.

The beautiful veela descendant was standing there, looking like a beautiful ice sculpture as she stared down at her fiance's mangled face. In her eyes were the purest expression of shock. Tonks had never liked Fleur very much, but she felt a wave of pity for her.

"Dumbledore gone," whispered Mr. Weasley, but Mrs. Weasley suddenly began to sob for her eldest son.

"Of course, it doesn't matter how he looks….It's not r-really important…but he was a very handsome little b-boy….always very handsome….and he was g-going to be married!"

Fleur's head snapped up at these words. "And what do you mean by zat?" she said loudly. "What do you mean, ''e was _going_ to be married?'"

Mrs. Weasley raised her tear-stained face, looking startled. "Well—only that—"

"You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore?" demanded Fleur. "You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?"

_Love me…_

"No, that's not what I—"

"Because 'e will!" said Fleur, drawing herself up to her full height and throwing back her long mane of silver hair. "It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

_A werewolf…_

"Well, yes, I'm sure," said Mrs. Weasely, "But I thought perhaps—given how—how he—"

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped?" said Fleur, her nostrils flaring. Tonks could not honestly blame her for being as furious as she obviously was. "What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" she added fiercely, all but pushing Mrs. Weasley aside as she seized the ointment from the stunned woman's hands and began mopping up Bill's wounds herself.

Nobody said anything, or even moved as they waited for the inevitable explosion, but Molly Weasley standing against her husband was watching Fleur with a strange look on her face.

After a pause that seemed to last for an eternity- Mrs. Weasley spoke-

"Our Great-Auntie Muriel has a very beautiful tiara—goblin-made—which I am sure I could persuade her to lend you for the wedding. She is very fond of Bill, you know, and so it would look lovely with your hair."

"Thank you," said Fleur stiffly. "I am sure zat will be lovely."

And suddenly, both women were crying and hugging each other as everyone else exchanged bewildered looks…

Everyone that was, besides Tonks. At the sight of the two crying women over Bill's body something inside her seemed to snap inside of her. Everything that had happened that night and built up all over the past few months seemed to break suddenly like a dam-

She turned to face Remus who was watching the scene with mild surprise on his lined face.

"You see?" she said in a strained voice. "She still wants to marry him even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

Remus tensed as if she had brandished a whip and his eyes immediately fell to the floor. "It's different." he said, his lips barely moving as he avoided looking at her. "Bill will not be a full werewolf, the cases will be entirely different-"

She had had enough. Tonks forgetting the fact that the room was full of people watching them seized the front of his robes and began shaking him roughly. "But I don't care either, I don't care! I've told you a million times!"

Tonks was only dimly aware that everybody in the room was still watching them. Remus's reply was all that mattered-

But he still wouldn't look at her. "And I've told you a million times," he said quietly- his voice sounding as if it were pleading for her to understand- "I'm too old, too poor… too dangerous…"

Tonks took a sharp breath and was a second away from physically slapping him when suddenly a voice came to the rescue-

"I've said all along that you've taken a ridiculous line on this Remus." Molly Weasley said as she patted Fleur on the back.

"I am not being ridiculous." Remus said steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole-"

But then Mr. Weasely spoke up, managing a small smile as he said- "But she wants you. And after all Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily stay so-" He gestured sadly to a disfigured Bill.

She watched Remus swallow nervously. "This is… not the moment to discuss it-" he said distractedly looking about the room, avoiding all eye contact whatsoever. "Dumbledore is dead."

And then a third savior- "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody knowing that there was a little more love in the world." McGonagall said curtly.

Tonks waited for his response- waited for anything….a sign from above-

The doors at the end of the wing burst open once again and everyone wheeled around to see who it was. Hagrid stepped inside. Tonks reluctantly let her hands fall from Remus's robes as Hagrid, shaking with tears spoke-

"I've….I've done it, Professor," he choked. "M-moved him. Professor Sprout's got the kids back in bed. Professor Flitwick's lyin' down, but he says he'll be all righ' in a jiffy, an' Professor Slughorn says the Ministry's bin informed."

"Thank you, Hagrid," said Professor McGongall, standing up and facing them all looking like an impressive tower of strength. "I shall have to see the Ministry when they get here." she said to them all. "Hagrid, please tell the Heads of Houses—Slughorn can represent Slytherin—that I want to see them in my office forthwith. I would like you to join us too."

Hagrid nodded and shuffled out as McGongall turned to Harry, "Before I meet with them I would like a quick word with you, Harry. If you'll come with me…"  
Harry turned slowly to his friends and said solemnly, "See you in a bit." before following Professor McGongall down the ward and the doors closed behind them.

A heavy silence fell over them all. The distant phoenix song was now but an echo on the outside grounds. Tonks stared numbly at Bill in order to avoid looking around the room and meeting the curious stares she could feel coming in all directions at her and Remus. Oddly enough, she had the strange sensation that Remus was staring just as intently at Bill too…probably for the same reason.

"So, what's going to happen now?" Ron asked awkwardly.

Mr. Weasley sighed heavily and ran a hand through his thinning hair. "I'm not sure."

"What about the school?" Hermione asked. "Will they shut it down?"

The other children looked startled at this alarming proposition but Remus spoke up suddenly,

"Perhaps. Honestly, I would be very surprised if the school did stay open. Many parents will be upset over what has happened tonight."

_Damn him for trying to avoid the subject between us!_ Tonks thought furiously, though were she to admit it, it did make sense to a point to try and move on in the company of everyone. It did annoy her just the same though that he was so eager to avoid the subject all together as if nothing had just happened between them. She felt like she wanted to cry or scream…maybe even both.

Another awkward silence fell over them all again.

Ginny stood up suddenly to go sit by her mother's side. Mrs. Weasley drew her daughter tightly to her, sandwiching her between Fleur and herself. Ginny caught Tonks's eye and gave her an understanding look which Tonks was finding easier to accept than the pitying look that Hermione was now giving her. She was feeling more ashamed and embarrassed by the minute that she had snapped so dramatically in front of everyone. Of course- she would never take it back. She had had enough of Remus. She couldn't have taken it any longer. Standing there by Bill's bedside, with her thoughts unable to focus on anything but Dumbledore's sudden death and the stupid bloke standing beside her- she decided she had to take action.

She cleared her throat. "Are you lot alright?"

"Yes." said Hermione, who though she still looked shaken seemed to have regained a sense of composure.

Luna and Ron both nodded and Ginny who was sitting by her mother's side seemed calm enough given the situation.

Tonks straightened up and took a deep steadying breath, "I'm going outside for a walk, I'll be right back."

There were a few more mute nods and Tonks left the hospital wing quickly, letting out her breath in a heavy sigh. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, grief-stricken over Dumbledore and wanted nothing more than to clear her head. She figured a solitary walk on the grounds might help her.

She walked down the long hallway to avoid the oncoming Ministry party she could hear that had just entered the castle. From the sounds of it Scrimgeour had brought half the Ministry. She continued on her deserted way quietly as she started remembering how good Dumbledore had been to her. Of course, he had let Remus on that stupid mission but she owed him much more than a pointless, half-hearted grudge. He had allowed her to join the Order (which was she thought was a very good thing, other wise she never would have met Sirius or Remus). He had given her a reassuring smile at her first Order meeting and his eyes had twinkled with sincere amusement at some of her antics on several occasions that failed to amuse most of the other members. And he had been one of the few that had called her Tonks at her request…he didn't use Nymphadora at all, well- at least not to her face.

And before that even- when she had been at school, an awkward first year and he had accidentally discovered her hiding and crying in an empty classroom. She had been teased ruthlessly by some of her fellow classmates for being a metamorphous. After calming her down a bit Dumbledore had handed her a purple handkerchief to dry her eyes with and told her something that she never forgot…

_She had been sniffling into the handkerchief, still slightly terrified to meet the great Headmaster's light blue eyes straight on. "People laugh at me because I'm different- I don't want to be different."_

_He had smiled gently at this. "Miss Tonks, everyone is different in one way or another. Just because your way stands out more does not mean you have to be ashamed of it. People should be proud of their differences; it's what makes us uniquely individual." _

_"Other kids don't grow pig snout noses." she had mumbled while shuffling her feet awkwardly. _

_"No." he had said thoughtfully. "Most do not. But I think it's better for a person to grow different noses than to shrink their heart. I personally think that if I had a skill like yours I would use it to do something wild with it. Perhaps I would change my hair colour. I would give myself a bright, sunny yellow beard instead of the dull white one I have now." Tonks was so shocked that her headmaster was saying something so ridiculous, she had actually smiled. "Or maybe to get into the holiday I would try growing some fangs on Halloween?"_

_"People would think I was a werewolf." Tonks had laughed. _

_Dumbledore had appeared pensive for a moment before saying wisely, "People tend to be afraid of what they don't truly understand or know." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate frog and handed it to her. "It is our job as humans to not simply teach others the truth, but to teach acceptance and love through our actions."_

Tonks, now walking down the deserted corridor felt an aching sort of sadness in her heart. Dumbledore was gone. The idea of fighting a battle against Voldemort without Dumbledore on their side was suddenly terrifying. How could they stand a chance? If only he was still alive…

She shook her head and wiped away a falling tear. There was no purpose in using the words 'if only'. The world was made up of them but they still changed nothing. You could think of them until your head ached and your tears could fill one of Hagrid's oversized tankards but the truth was, they didn't help. Besides, Dumbledore himself would have wanted them all to move on and remember the old times with fondness while carrying on a brave face for the dark future- she knew that if nothing else for certain.

She had just reached the Entrance Hall and had just crossed the length of it to throw open the heavy doors when she heard a voice echoing behind her.

"Tonks?"

She would have known that voice anywhere. A surge of anger rose within her and she picked up her pace without turning around.

"Tonks-"

Almost inwardly cursing herself for doing so, she turned around to face him. "What?" she huffed.

"Why did you leave?"

"I must have spent half of my school years in the hospital wing from various accidents." she said shortly. "Staying in there was giving me bad memories."

Unbelievably he smiled at this. Furious at him, she turned and continued to storm across the entrance hall.

"Tonks, wait-"

She ignored him and walked out the large front door onto the dusky grounds. She was halfway down the front steps when she heard her name again-

"Tonks, please wait for a moment-"

She stopped short and took a deep breath before turning to face him again, "I'm not a patient person Remus. And I have waited a very long time.

"I know." He said solemnly from standing on the top of the stairs, looking down at her with an unreadable expression.

"So why'd you come out here? Did Molly Weasley give you some encouraging words perhaps?"

He seemed removed from the bitterness in her words. "No." he said softly. "I came out here on my own."

She was about to walk away again and never look back again but she found herself talking instead. "I love you. I've always loved you, and I know that at least one time you loved me back. I wasn't the only one who saw it."

He stared at her in silence.

The words continued to flow from her mouth, but she was so tired- she had no desire to stop them-"I've held onto hope for the both of us now, and let me tell you- when one person refuses to even try it's hard. And after some time you start to doubt if you're making the right move or if it's even worth holding onto since it obviously isn't going anywhere."

She started to walk slowly down the rest of the steps, her eyes filling with tears that she had no control over. Remus walked quietly behind her, minding his distance-

"I'm not asking for a fairytale ending Remus- how many fables do you know end happily with the wolf and the princess riding off happily into the sunset? But I am asking for moments, Remus. Just moments. Little things to live by, because that's what life is all about…moments…"

She looked out at the dark sky- in the east, it was just slightly less dark- the sun was about to rise…

"I've held onto hope for the both of us and now I want to know if I should just stop here, because really, what's the point now if its never is going to go anywhere?"

She turned to look at him, unable to stop the flow of tears. She saw the concerned look in his brown eyes but she kept talking, determined to get every last thing that she wanted to say out at last-

"You've been hurt before, I know that. You've been hurt by people and hurt even more by allowing yourself to care and love others before they betrayed you or you lost them in one way or another- but I'm not going to hurt you. I won't hurt you like they did. As long as its in my control I won't hurt you and I can take good care of myself you know…"

Retaining some of her dignity at those last words she took a deep, shaky breath and drawing herself up to full height looked at him. "If there's one thing I can't stand though, its liars Remus. So tell me the truth. Just give me the honest truth and I'll leave this whole thing in the past with no more questions or anything...does it end here today, or not?

She unconsciously held her breath as she waited for his answer…

He stared calmly at her for a moment before saying in a steady voice, "I hope it does end today."

Tonks felt her heart freeze before it started to crack and break like shattered ice. She closed her eyes, pursed her lips and tried to stop the tears.

"I hope this does stay in the past because I love you and I want to move on from all this and start over."

Her eyes snapped open. For an incredulous moment she believed- she opened her mouth- her breath caught in her throat- the question halfway to her lips.

"Yes," Remus said seriously. "I do love you. Don't you doubt it- not even once."

Tonks stood there, swaying slightly on the spot. He said love. He had said it. Said the word that she had waited to hear from him for ages. There was no apology or embarrassment in his eyes. Just the truth.

She knew, just as she had always known that deep down, he had truly loved her.

Tonks ran forward and threw her arms around Remus's neck- feeling as if she could die from happiness- all they needed was the swelling crescendo from the stupid opera he loved so much and it would be absolutely perfect.

Slightly off balanced from her thrown weight, he swung her around gently and set her down carefully, pushing a stray lock away from her face. She was crying like an utter prat and she wasn't even sure why- "So you're willing to take a chance with me?" she asked.

"If you'll still have me and forgive me for my atrocious actions over these past few months." Remus said quietly.

"Because you love me?"

"Because I finally realized no matter how hard I tried to fight it-I was always going to go on loving you. It's difficult to fight lycanthropy- but I discovered that it's harder, impossible in fact-to fight love."

She opened her mouth to say something ridiculous or anything at all and stopped- staring closely at him. He was smiling faintly as the soft wind blew his slightly untidy gray-streaked hair about. Tonks felt the tears still flowing from her eyes and stood there stock still as he ran a pale hand along the side of her face and pushed back her own mousy brown hair that had fallen into her face-

Both of them went forward at the same time, their lips meeting the others with a gentle and slightly hesitant longing. After a few seconds as they tentatively explored the other lips, Remus making no effort to resist- their lips parted and all Tonks could do was surrender to the unrestrained warmth. Eyes closed, she waited to wake- because this all had to be a dream- Remus saying he loved her, them kissing one another like this after such a tragedy. Despite the most recent and dark events Tonks could only think of the present and surrender to her happiness. Reluctantly, realizing she needed air, she pulled back slowly and opened her eyes.

His eyes had opened and as he stared breathlessly at her, he was smiling broader than before.

"What?" Tonks asked curiously, her heart still beating fast against her ribcage.

"Pink again." Remus stated with a nod towards the top of her head, a hand still around her waist.

She reached up to her own head and felt the long lost short-spiky pink locks on her hair again in full bloom.

"I missed them." He said as he eyed them fondly.

"Bollocks, my hair- I missed you more." She said as she grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him closer to her as their urgent lips met yet again.

They stood there kissing one another, entwined in each other's arms, oblivious to the world, unaware of the dangers that lay ahead, only caught in the present and only aware of the other as golden rays of sunlight peeked over the dark horizon…

It was a new day.

* * *

_Author's note: Ah, Part II is finished! This is where originally I had put the words: 'The End'. I had never planned a part III, but then I finished reading Deathly Hallows, picked my jaw up off the tissue-covered floor and almost immediately started thinking…_

_So now there's a Part III to be written, and coming very soon. I hope you lot are happy. :D_


	26. Upon the brink of disaster

"_So what's the plan Harry?" said George._

"_There isn't one," said Harry, still distorted by the sudden appearance of all these people, unable to take everything in while his scar was still burning so fiercely._

"_Just going to make it up as we go along, are we? My favorite kind," said Fred. _

_The above quote could be fittingly applied to my current writing situation. Here begins Part III of FHNWFL. I had never planned this far ahead, so from here on out-its going to be me writing this as it just comes. Part I and II were slightly more planned out, or outlined. This, much less so. _

_But I'm back! It's taken ages, I know. I'm sorry. The amount of work I've had to do these past few months has been something of a living nightmare. I've written NOTHING since I last posted here several months ago- not even my other non-fanfiction stories. _

_But here we go! :D  
_

_Ps. I went back and read some of the old chapters of this story to get back in the mood…what the HELL is with the numerous spelling errors? It's slightly embarrassing and it annoys me but I'm too lazy to go and fix it._

_Pps. Oh and one more thing- YOU GUYS ROCK! So hard. All the loving reviews made me both sheepish and happy. Thanks for being so patient._

* * *

_**Part III**_

"_**PART"**_

**Chapter Twenty six-Upon the brink of disaster**

By the marble white tomb there was a man.

He wasn't entirely alone. There were many others wandering about nearby, conversing quietly in small groups- but he was standing by himself in front of the new tomb. The bright sunlight sparkling off of it was making it look as white as bleached bone.

Remus Lupin standing in front of Dumbledore's final resting place could only numbly stare at what lay before him. It still seemed so incomprehensible that the great man who had given so much was finally gone. The one wizard powerful enough to lead them in the war against Voldemort …He closed his eyes…war was cruel and death even crueler in the random choosing of its victims.

He drew a deep breath to try and steady himself when he felt a familiar hand touch his arm, right where his old scar from Fenrir Greyback was. He opened his eyes, but did not turn around.

"Let's go." said a soft voice.

"Where?"

"Painting." she said. "Let's paint the town red."

And even through his threadbare robes he could feel the warm touch of her hand. That gentle, pliant hand he had held through Dumbledore's funeral offering him strength and silent support… there was something to live for this time…

He stared at the tomb for just a few seconds longer and then turned around. A young pink haired woman was standing behind him- a promise in her eyes.

"Alright." he said.

* * *

It seemed strange to be going out to a restaurant after just coming back from a funeral earlier that day, but stranger still to be with somebody. Remus had often left funerals alone and rightfully morose, but this new change was oddly comforting. With Tonks whom he knew was also still mourning the loss of Dumbledore, it felt that there was someone to share the pain with and yet also take much needed comfort with. It had only been a few days since the Battle of the Tower but Remus had taken unashamed consolidation that he and Tonks were finally, gloriously together at last.

After an impromptu (and rather lengthy) Order meeting that set about trying to organize the tasks to be accomplished in the days to come, Remus and Tonks were at a small muggle restaurant in London. As evening pressed on the city, the large window by their private booth was slowly darkening. The room was lit up by two rivaling sources of brightness- the overhead light hanging from above their table, and Tonks's blinding pink hair.

They had ordered drinks when they came in, and when Remus had ordered tea, Tonks had let out such a loud snort, half the people in the room looked over in alarm. At her persistent nagging, wheedling, and well-versed cajoling he finally had agreed to let Tonks order him a real drink.

"Oh look! They put an umbrella in it!" said Tonks gleefully after the waitress set down the drinks and headed off. She reached across the table and snatched at it.

"You collect paper umbrellas?"

"No, I just think their cool." She said happily as she tucked it behind her ear.

Remus smiled but his features slowly slid into a frown as he looked down at the drink before him.

"So this is a Pina Colada."

It looked harmless enough. The pineapple slice on the side of the rim and the ice bobbing on the surface made it look perfectly refreshing.

But appearances were deceiving. He reached for the straw and slowly stirred it.

"You'll like it." said Tonks.

"And if I don't?"

"You will."

Remus stared shrewdly at her for a moment before finally picking up the drink and taking a small sip. The rum was quite strong but it actually wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Of course he didn't say this to Tonks because doing so would be admitting defeat.

Instead he grimaced and Tonks burst out laughing.

"It's not that bad." he admitted.

Tonks's slim fingers were now edging across the table to steal the slice of pineapple that was on the rim of his drink.

"You're first cocktail, Professor?"

"Actually Sirius made me one once, shortly after we had graduated from school…it was at a party."

"What was in it?"

"I don't want to know." Remus said closing his eyes to fight back the wave of nausea as he remembered the foul concoction.

Tonks laughed.

He opened one eye. "You think it was funny?" he asked pretending to be offended. "I was ruthlessly force-fed some dangerous and most likely illegal brew and you find it amusing?"

"I find it amusing that you have so many bizarre stories that you would never guess about you, judging from appearances alone."

"Thank you Tonks." he remarked dryly.

She smiled and then pushed her own bright red drink towards him. "Try my drink!"

"No thank you, I'm working on this one."

"Have you ever had a margarita? Come'on!"

"No."

"What're you afraid of? Getting the lurgy?"

"I'd have thought that kissing you as much as I have these past few days would've given me lurgy rather than sharing the same drink."

Tonks looked smug at this but her voice was mockingly stern. "Are you suggesting I'm carrying the lurgy?"

"A woman as beautiful as you? Impossible."

"Very flattering."

"I do try."

Tonks laughed and Remus gave her a small smile in return and used his straw again to try and stir his drink around a bit.

Tonks was now staring at the menu lying off to the side. "Let's order a brownie or something."

"Chocolate. Excellent." said Remus, perking up at once.

"Who said it was going to be chocolate?"

He frowned. "Most brownies are chocolate."

"Some are vanilla flavoured."

The silence that followed stood as a sort of invisible challenge. Remus and Tonks's eyes locked and neither of them moved or blinked for several tense seconds. Finally, Remus spoke first.

"Are we going to have an argument over what flavoured brownie to order then, Tonks?"

"Yes." she chuckled, the tense moment gone as quickly as it had come. "And it'll end with me throwing my drink in your face and run screaming from the place, leaving you to stare about the stunned room before throwing down some money and running off after me."

"How very dramatic."

"There are times when one has to be dramatic." She grinned and then took along sip of her margarita before leaning back, looking rather thoughtful.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about the Order."

"What of it?"

She shrugged. "Well Mad-Eye mentioned to me after the meeting about how we're going to have to start thinking of a plan to move Harry before his seventeenth birthday, and I was wondering how we're going to go about doing it."

Mad-Eye had unofficially and unanimously become the head of the Order following Dumbledore's death. In Remus's opinion there was no better choice and in the dark times ahead, Moody would be the perfect, fearless leader needed to lead the Order. "No ideas on your part?"

"I'm afraid that no creative bursts are coming from me today. The best idea I've come up with so far is to end the war and get rid of Voldemort before Harry turns seventeen but I don't think that's a likely possibility at this point."

"We'll get by." said Remus quietly. But he didn't believe it. Not in the slightest.

Nor apparently did Tonks judging from the skeptical look on her face.

Remus took another sip of his drink. "How do you think we should go about getting him?"

"You're asking me?"

"You were the one that came up with the idea to get him out of his Uncle's house two years ago."

Tonks looked pleased at this but her answer was modest, "Anybody could have thought of that Remus- it just so happened that I voiced it first."

"But it worked." he said warmly.

"And if it hadn't it would have been my arse on the way out." She said. "I remember one grumpy old man was against it from the start."

"The 'grumpy old man' appreciates you Tonks."

"I'm talking about Mad-Eye, Remus- not you."

"I was talking about Mad-Eye as well. He thinks very highly of you."

"He should. Because he knows that I am the one with the connections." Tonks said mischievously. "He knows that one day he's going to look for a nice decent woman to settle down with and I am the only one who can arrange a meeting with a suitable mate-to-be. He'd never try to find a woman on his own."

"He might." said Remus, but without much conviction.

Tonks let out an obnoxious snort of laughter. "Sure if he wants to settle down with Mrs. Figg or any of those other mothball smelling crones, he could. But with me I can provide more options-"

"I don't think Mad-Eye is really on planning on settling down, Tonks-"

"Well he should."

There was a pause between them as Tonks smiled and looked thoughtfully out of the darkened window.

"Tonks…"

"Hm?"

"Nothing." Remus said quietly. "I was just thinking of your name again."

She flared up instantly. "If you so much as THINK of calling me the infernal N-name—!"

"I'm not." He said hastily. "I know you hate it but Tonks just doesn't seem…"

"What?" she asked in a slightly worried tone. "What's wrong with it?"

He smiled. "Nothing is wrong with it. But there's not many nicknames that come from Tonks, you know."

"You're thinking of giving me a nickname?" she said deviously. "Like what sort of a nickname?"

"Well a creative variation of 'Tonks' is not easy to come by."

"Maybe an anagram?"

"A what?"

"Remember?" grinned Tonks. "Christmas Eve at Grimmauld Place- we all gave each other anagrammed names."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise that she had remembered. "That's right…" For a minute he thought back on that day where an inebriated Sirius had had a shining moment of drunken brilliance- "But I'm not calling you 'Mad to Horny Spank'."

She shrugged, her grin in danger of falling off her face. "I wouldn't complain."

He pushed some of his hair that had fallen into his eyes off to the side- "Nympha-"

Tonks kicked him from under the table.

"Ouch, alright- fine…" he winced. "Would you be upset if I called you Dora?"

Her mouth opened angrily in protest but then she paused and closed her mouth looking thoughtful. "You've called me that before…"

Remus stared at her in surprise. "I have?"

She nodded, still looking lost in thought. "At Christmas…"

He thought back on the rest of that wild night at Grimmauld Place…the drinking…the uncontrollable laughter…kissing Tonks…

"I don't remember." he said honestly.

"This most recent Christmas…" she said. "The one where you came to visit me and then I verbally attacked you along with some poorly made snowballs."

"Ah…" Remus said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "Yes."

He remembered calling her Dora before she snapped at him, reminding him that it was Tonks- "I called you Dora several times. Once inside because you had already told me off for calling you Nymphadora and then several more times while out in the snow and you were yelling at me."

A faint blush had spread over her cheeks.

"You had ever right too." Remus conceded.

"I might've gotten abit out of line. You got really angry."

He smiled. "Yes."

She looked pained. "Because I called you a coward."

"Yes."

She frowned and looked slightly confused at his calm almost amused reaction from him. "You're not upset about it now though."

"No I'm not. It's in the past…to be remembered but defiantly left behind."

"Wisely put." she smirked.

He smiled but then asked, "So what about 'Dora'? It seems to be the most natural option."

She pretended to mentally debate it for a little while and then a large smile spread across her heart shaped face. "I'll take it." she said.

"Good." he said. "Because I think it's quite endearing."

She tossed back her head loftily and ended up bumping the back of her head on the wall behind her.

"Ow- graceful." She winced, rubbing the back of her pink haired head with a pained expression.

"Take a sip of your drink to take away the pain." Remus suggested jokingly.

A dark eyebrow rose sharply, "Professor, are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Yes." said Remus, his tone suggesting anything but.

"I can hold my drink quite well you know."

"I'm sure."

"Looks like you'll have to find some other way to get me all helpless and unresisting then." she laughed.

He saw her hand on the table and boldly reached for it before lifting her hand to his lips. Amazing how just several months ago, such a task would have seemed unbelievably daunting.

"I shall try my best." He said, gently kissing her hand.

"You gentleman you." she said teasingly, and Remus was delighted to see her cheeks grow a rosy pink which morphing couldn't appear to hide.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"Are you kidding?"

Remus reached for his own drink and took another sip.

Tonks watched him looking thoughtful. "Remus?"

"Yes?"  
"Do you remember that day when I went to visit you before you went Underground with the pack?"

His head shot up as he started intently at her.

"Do you remember what you said to me about—?"

"Please Tonks, don't bring that up again." he grimaced.

"So much for 'remembering the past before leaving it behind'. But you know, I said some pretty nasty things too." Tonks admitted. "Right before I ran out on you…"

"I remember." he said hoarsely. It was unlikely he would ever forget.

"But that wasn't what I was going to ask if you remembered."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…what you said about us having to end it there and now. Did you ever think after that we'd get back together?"

"Truthfully?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I'm just asking you so that you can lie. Yes, truthfully."

He smiled at this but then sobered. "The day we last saw one another before my assignment…I wasn't sure. I hoped we wouldn't see each other again because I was worried about your safety, but I think perhaps deep down, I wanted us to get together after it all ended. I didn't ever allow myself to even think on it though in case the worst should happen."

She was looking at him closely, her eyes thoughtful.

"What about you?" he asked her.

She nodded slowly. "I hated you after that even though I knew what you were saying made sense. I wanted nothing to do with you after that, but when I realized I couldn't forget about you I hoped we would get through it."

There was a pause that was punctured by other couples talking noisily around them. Remus reached for his drink again and took a sip watching Tonks whose customary smile was strangely absent.

"Sorry." Tonks said heavily.

He looked at her, surprised. "For what?"

"For bringing up all this depressing rubbish again. I just feel all out of sorts still…"

Remus knew what she meant and he reached across the table to hold her hand.

She squeezed his hand tightly and he watched as her dark eyes darted about the room distractedly, unable to rest on any one particular object for too long. Then he realized with a jolt of shock that her eyes were starting to shine with tears.

"Dora…"

"Sorry." Tonks sniffed and grabbed a napkin from off the table to quickly wipe her eyes with. "It's just that I keep thinking that I never quite made up with Dumbledore. I was so angry at him for all these months because he let you go on that stupid mission. And then he died and I never got to properly apologize to him."

"I'm sure he knew that you were just upset over the situation-"

But she talked right over him, with words that she was apparently was unable to stop from coming, "I use to try and corner him after Order meetings when you were gone. When he hadn't gone to several of them, I went to his office up at the school-"

"To say what?" asked Remus.

"I asked him to bring you back. I hated him for allowing you to go on that stupid mission because I knew if there was anybody's word you would have listened to, it would have been his so I thought that maybe if he told you to not do it, you'd come back."

There was a brief moment of silence between them, where tears were still streaming heavily down Tonks's pale face. He had noticed that it took a lot for Tonks to actually cry. She was so strong and always smiling or talking away to others to try and cheer them up with her extrovert personality. As an Auror, she was as tough as nails and about as fearless as the Chimaera who had killed Dai Llewellyn while he was on holiday in Greece.

"I hated my self for some time because I was so angry at you, but I really hated Dumbledore for forcing that mission upon you. For using you like some sort of useful but disposable puppet. And now all I can do is feel guilty that I didn't snap out of it in time."

"How would you have known what was going to happen and when?" Remus said gently. "And Dumbledore being who he was, I'm sure he knew that you truly didn't hate him."

"You think so?"

He nodded. "I do."

She took a shaky breath and Remus handed her another napkin since the other one was rather crumpled.

"He was always so good to me, at school and then afterwards with the Order and everything."

"He certainly was." Remus agreed. "And with me too."

Suddenly there was a noise at their side and they turned in surprise to see their buxom waitress standing there, clearing her throat impatiently. "Would you like to order anything? Maybe something from our desert menu? We have excellent cakes and brownies."

They looked at each other in surprise and laughed. The waitress raised her eyebrow and Remus gave her an apologetic smile.

"What flavoured brownies do you have?"

"Chocolate and vanilla."

Tonks snorted and wiped away the last of her tears with her napkin.

Remus turned back to the waitress, "Could you give us a moment to decide?"

She nodded and shuffled away.

Remus turned back to Tonks. "It looks as though we're going to make a decision, Dora. I hope you're ready to be dramatic."

"Or we could just order a vanilla flavoured brownie and avoid the drama altogether." She said sweetly, moving the crumpled napkins off to the side. "I'm enjoying this margarita very much and I really don't want to throw it in your face."

Remus sighed. "Perhaps we ought to order two brownies."

"That's stupid."

"Well I'm not eating a vanilla brownie. It just sounds revolting."

"And chocolate brownies make me feel dehydrated."

"How on earth could a brownie make you feel dehydrated?"

"I don't know. They just do! Its like an overload of thick gloopy sugar all congealed into a dark mass- ugh."

"That is ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous!"

Unfortunately, the waitress was back again. "Are you ready to order something now?"

"We'll take two brownies." Remus said. "One chocolate and one vanilla."

As she left, Tonks poked Remus with a spoon lying on the table. "I'm paying."

"You will not." said Remus firmly.

"Two brownies is embarrassing, letting you pay for both would be even more mortifying. Let me pay."

"No."

"Remus-"

"We'll argue about it later." He said quickly. "For now, lets just try to enjoy ourselves."

She grinned, but said nothing. "At least I didn't have to dispose of my drink in your face and run away."

"I wouldn't have gotten up and followed you if you had."

"Oh yes you would have."

He smiled faintly, knowing perfectly well that she was right. As Tonks slurped some more of her margarita, Remus looked out the window- just over the line of buildings he could make out the silver glow of the nearly full moon.

"That's coming up soon, isn't it?" Tonks said.

He nodded. He hoped they wouldn't have to talk about it.

Tonks looked at him, but he just gave her his bravest face and a reassuring smile before stirring his drink absentmindedly.

It seemed to have worked….

…almost.

Her voice cut across his blank thoughts,

"You really were going to kill him at the Battle of the Tower, weren't you?"

He looked up at her.

"Fenrir I mean…" she said looking slightly nervous. "You lunged at him and I'd never seen you look that way before. Almost…reckless…"

Remus inclined his head at her words. "Yes. I was going to kill him."

She seemed surprised, either at his declaration or at how calm his voice was.

"Dora," he said gently, leaning across the table so she could hear him better in the noisy room. "I'm not as noble as you might believe. I do occasionally get angry, and when I do I tend to put not only myself in danger, but others."

"I don't think I've ever seen you angry except for that day in the snow." she said thoughtfully. "And the battle of the tower of course, but that was different. I just got a bloody spectacular kiss that Christmas, but at the Tower…" an odd emotion that looked like a contained shudder crossed her face. "It was like you were an entirely different person."

Remus felt his heart sink. What wouldn't he have given for her not to have seen that. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "Sometimes…" he said slowly. "Sometimes I can't keep it in any longer and I just have to succumb to rage-"

"Righteous rage I should think."

"Perhaps." Remus said without much conviction. "But it happens very rarely. I worked for many years to keep my emotions under tight reign."

She looked startled. "Why?"

"When I was a student at school, the knowledge that I was different from everyone and more importantly, I was an actual physical danger to them made me want to control my thoughts and emotions beyond the ideal disciplinary behaviour. I wanted to see all my friends and schoolmates truly happy and carefree and never have to worry about the terrible events that I usually did."

"So you were to content to suffer as they lived in blissful ignorance?" Tonks asked in annoyance.

"I think 'suffer' is a strong word, Dora."

"But that's essentially what it was."

He shook his head. "No. It wasn't. I just had to be careful, that was all. I wasn't always cautious as you well know- just look at some of the numerous detention records at Hogwarts."

"I would've given all the gold in Gringotts to see the little Professor running around setting off dangerous pranks before running behind a suit of armor to giggle over it."

"I certainly didn't giggle." said Remus stiffly. "Though Sirius did on more than one account with his occasionally feminine laugh."

Tonks let out a snort of laughter that she managed to bury in her drink.

Remus cleared his throat quietly. "But sometimes Tonks…it catches up with me. That night in the Shrieking Shack-after years and years of believing Sirius's guilt, the night when I finally realized the truth as I saw it laid on the map before me and later heard it at last from Sirius's own lips- something inside me snapped. Though I appeared calm and collected that night, my fingers were all but trembling as I held my wand, aching with every cell and fiber in my body to kill Peter."

He let his head drop into his hands, unable to meet Tonks's piercing eyes straight on. "It's times like that when I'm ashamed of myself afterwards but more disturbing still- I still feel that what I was about to do was right."

He felt Tonks's gentle fingertips lift his chin up so she could look straight into his eyes. She shook her head gently, her eyes warm. "Remus…there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's ever been a man with a more direct moral compass…perhaps it works a little too well." Her small smile faded as she grew more serious. "Everyone suffers lapses like that, and sometimes you have to take justice into your own hands…but you're only human."

_Human…Half human, half wolf…_

He opened his mouth, but Tonks beat him to it. "And don't you dare start on that whole, 'I'm a dangerous werewolf' rubbish!"

Another couple who appeared to be muggles, sitting at one of the nearby tables looked over at them in confusion and then scooted their chairs further away from Remus and Tonks as if they were mad and the madness was contagious.

Tonks rolled her eyes at them before turning back to him with a lowered voice. "I mean it though. It's not your 'wolf side' or whatever you think it is coming out. That's just another part of Remus Lupin that not everyone gets to see everyday. We should sell tickets it's so bloody rare."

Remus let out a reluctant chuckle and she smiled encouragingly at him.

She reached across and punched his arm lightly. "Come'on Professor. Don't be so worried about it. I trust you, and you know me well enough by now that my trust of people, despite what others might think, is not something I throw out to everybody I come across."

His heart feeling lighter than it had in days he allowed himself a genuine smile, "You're right."

She took another sip from her margarita and then her eyes seemed to grow wider as a random idea struck her, "Lets go skydiving!" she exclaimed wildly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Skydiving! Let's go! Let's do something mad! Travel the world! Go to Venezuela! I always wanted to see 'Angel Falls'…it's the highest waterfall in the world, you know."

"Really?" he said, rather surprised at this new, unexpected knowledge coming from Tonks.

"Childhood dream of mine." she said, her eyes misting over. "I used to imagine scaling the side of the cliff with the water roaring nearby and all the trees on the ground so far below…a rainbow shining through the mists…"

"One day we'll see it together."

"Is that a promise?"

"Of course it is. But I am rather old, Tonks."

"Shut up you git." she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm just pointing it out as a fact. There's no getting around it."

"Well then I'll just buy you a cane and some prune juice for your birthday, alright?"

He laughed loudly at that.

"Seriously Remus, you need to stop thinking of yourself as old. It's all mental. You need to start using positive terms for your own mental health- instead of saying 'I'm old' you need to say, 'I'm vintage'."

Remus nearly chocked on his drink.

"What?"

"Positive thinking! Its like either looking at the glass half full or half empty. Your gloomy perception is fixed on half empty. You need to start thinking of things as half full."

"I'm old." Remus said again with a smile.

"'Vintage.'" She immediately corrected him.

"Too poor."

"'Bohemian.'"

He almost snorted at that but then sobered at what he was about to say next, thinking of what they had been discussing earlier.

"Too dangerous…"

There was a small pause as Tonks looked at him thoughtfully.

"'I make things interesting with my martyr complex.'"

Reluctantly he let out a small chuckle and she smiled at him but her dark eyes were serious.

"You're not having second thoughts about all this are you?"

"Not anymore."

"Good." She grinned, the smile finally meeting her eyes.

For a moment Remus felt a stab of nerves. Since that fateful day neither of them had mentioned marriage but the thought had come up more than once or twice in Remus's mind over the past few days. And as they sat there he thought of it again.

Slightly panicked, as if Tonks would suddenly be able to use Legilimency, he swiftly changed the subject-

"Perhaps we could go out to dinner next week." he said in a light hearted voice.

"That might be nice."

"Skydiving might have to be put off for a bit."

"That's alright."

"We're still going to do it though?"

"Without a doubt."

"We'll have to get rid of Voldemort first."

"Good plan."

"Well then we'd better get to work. I'm so eager to jump off of a cliff at several hundred metres with nothing but a piece of cloth to save me."

"The danger is what makes it exciting!"

"You have thrill-seeking issues Tonks. I see us jumping off the cliff and you realizing you'd forgotten your parachute or something along that line."

"You'd just save me." Tonks laughed. "As always."

Remus smiled at this.

The waitress finally arrived with their two separate brownies, setting the vanilla one in front of Remus and the chocolate one in front of Tonks before moving off.

Almost immediately they reached for the other's plates and nearly knocked over their drinks as they switched brownies.

Tonks steadied her drink just in time before turning her attention to her brownie. "And no, for your information, I do not have 'thrill-seeking issues', I just inherited crazy genes from my Mum's side of the family."

"Undoubtfully." said Remus, using his fork to start eating some of his chocolate brownie. "I suppose I should be thankful you don't possess a motorbike."

"You know, I always wanted to get a hold of Sirius's motorbike and take it for a spin."

Remus winced as he thought of Tonks being as clumsy as she was being on a speeding motorbike. "It wouldn't take a seer to recognize that that could be a very bad idea, Dora."

"Well I'd love to see you try it sometime Professor!"

"I was never very good at it."

Tonks dropped her fork, sending bits of vanilla brownie everywhere. "You actually rode a motorbike?"

"Sirius's bike? Several times in fact."

"No…bloody…way."

Remus smiled. "Another deep dark secret you never knew about me."

"You're kidding!"

"I'm not. Sirius insisted I learn how to ride it before things started getting too grim during the first Order, and on one occasion I…how would you put it? 'Borrowed without asking permission' the motorbike from him."

"You're lying!" Tonks said desperately.

"I can assure that I am always a man of my word. Although I have no one that can vouch for me, I can always show you the memory the next time we get a hold of a pensieve."

Tonks looked torn between being stunned and furious. "Now you've made me jealous."

"Sorry. Perhaps we'll get a hold of a bike and go for a ride one of these days but until then, how does dinner sound to you?"

"Will you be up for it after the full moon?"

"With you, of course."

Tonks beamed and Remus smiled at her contagious happiness. Despite the knowledge that they were both standing on the edge of something—the brink of a dark and dangerous war that would make everything till now seem mere shadows in comparison—he simply couldn't think of it. All of it pressed too heavily on his mind at once, Dumbledore's recent death…the Order barely held together…protecting Harry…trying to keep the Ministry from being overthrown…trying to keep people safe from Voldemort…it was all too much and it was all worth fighting for, but as he looked at Tonks's smile from across the table he knew personally what was worth fighting for the most. Perhaps it was selfish, but if it was- Remus didn't care.

He sighed and turned his head to look at his dim reflection in the dark, glass window. "I may be 'vintage' Tonks, but my hair is grey..."

Tonks leaned forward to steal a sip from his pina colada and with a surprisingly graceful gesture, brushed back a strand of hair from his eyes. "No," she said, her eyes shining with happiness as she looked at him. "Your hair is perfect."


	27. Jumping together

_Author's note: Alright, this chapter was HARD. I had outlined it quite awhile ago, so I thought it would be fun and easy to write. _

_Damn, was I wrong. In between nursing a sick dog and listening to friggin 'Om Shanti Om' through the wall thanks to my Bollywood obsessed sister these past few days have not lent much to the creativity of this chapter that I've been dying to write. Meh.  
_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Seven- Jumping together**

If pacing were an art, Remus Lupin would have been a full-blown connoisseur.

He had been pacing for some time. He was in an old, partially underground, war bunker that had been converted into a safe place for a werewolf transformation. There were many different specialized places the Ministry had set up for transformations and this was one of them. Unfortunately it looked as if it hadn't been used in years. There were broken tables and chairs strewn about the dirt covered floor and some broken planks had been abandoned by the door. He had tried to clear up some of the wreckage earlier but was far too distracted to really put his heart into it. Instead of cleaning now, he was pacing, wandering about- looking up at the small barred window in the high corner of the room where the moon would eventually rise.

The only entrance and exit besides the small window, (which was far too high for a man or wolf to reach, and too small to squeeze through-) was a heavy door that he had sealed by magic. The thick door was made from some dark, grey metal. The only gap in it was a small slot where apparently mail used to be passed. It was too small for Remus to stick his hand through, which helped contribute to his relief that a wolf paw would never be able to fit. Beyond that door was a small hallway that lead to another door which was the way to the outside- it lead out onto the slope of a hill. That door was locked as well- the hinges were secure-

_Stop it._ he told himself sharply. _Calm down. There's no way you can get out._

Remus was always nervous before full moons and the possibility of escape. Ever since the incident with Snape in his fifth year, his rational fear of escaping had increased tenfold. In a way he could thank Snape for foolishly listening to Sirius's biggest mistake… not a full moon went by when Remus shuddered at the dangerously close call.

_Snape…_ unconsciously he stiffened as he thought of the old Potions Master running down the stairway through the swirling dust-

_"It's over! Time to go!"_

Unconsciously his hands curled into fists. He had killed him…killed Dumbledore, killed the man who had been deceived like the rest of them into believing that he was trustworthy…

_No. _

It wasn't good to dwell on things like that. Dumbledore's death had caused enough frustration and grief for Remus that would only stay with him when he transformed. Such strong emotions would only raise the caged wolf's anger. And those transformations usually became the most violent. The worst had been the moon after James and Lily's death- where Sirius had recently been sent to Azkaban and Peter was supposedly a fallen war hero. The moon had risen- Remus still wallowing in the tumultuous sea of emotions he was in- and when he had finally woken up he found himself in St. Mungos where he was told that he had been unconscious for several days. The numerous injuries had been terribly severe and some of the wounds had been so bad, Remus still carried the scars on him.

For a moment, he thought back on James and Lily. He would always remember that terrible, terrible day. It was so early, he hadn't even read the morning paper yet. His fire grate had nearly exploded as Ministry officials burst into the room by way of Floo powder and all but dragged him to the Ministry itself. They had been trying to find Sirius of course, but no one had told any of this to Remus who had found himself in a room full or arguing officials, terrified that he was there because of his being a werewolf. No one mentioned to him the terrible events of that early morning until several aurors came over to him, looking stern-

_"Remus John Lupin?" said the mustached man, reading his name from off a paper file. _

_"Yes."_

_"You knew James and Lily Potter, correct?"_

_"I know them yes." In his state of confusion he had not even picked up on the past tense. _

_The aurors exchanged looks. _

_He felt a sense of dread. "What's all this about? What's going on?"_

_One of the other aurors stepped forward, a woman, looking at him sympathetically. "You're not aware of what happened this morning, are you?"_

_"What- what are you talking about?" he croaked, his insides quickly turning to ice and his heart start to thump painfully. _

_They exchanged looks again, obviously hesitant to divulge the information they were about to give. _

_The woman took a deep breath, "Mr. Lupin, James and Lily Potter are dead." _

_Dead…_

_The mustached auror pushed past his startled colleague and said impatiently- "We need to ask you some questions Mr. Lupin about some of your friends, we're in a bit of a rush right now- when was the last time you spoke to Sirius Black?"_

_Remus opened his dry mouth but not a sound came from it._

_"Mr. Lupin?"_

_He could feel his heart pounding frantically in his chest, so hard it hurt- this couldn't be happening-it couldn't. He felt as though he'd been petrified. He couldn't move a single muscle._

_Dead…_

_"We need to ask you some questions about your connections with Sirius Black who we feel may have been directly involved with the death of your friend James Potter and his wife Lily, so if you could provide us with any—"_

_He couldn't breathe properly. His breath was coming in searing, painful gasps and he felt himself swaying._

_"Blimey! Look at the kid!" someone cried but their voice seemed to be coming from a great distance._

_"Mr. Lupin? Are you alright?" _

_…concerned faces peering at him, staring…_

_"He doesn't look good-" _

_Remus felt someone's hand close around his wrist and a woman's voice rang distantly through the growing blur of sight and sound. "I think his pulse has dropped, he's all cold and clammy…is there a Healer in the room?"_

_"-We need this kid to answer some questions-"_

_"-We need a healer over here!-"_

_"-just going to have to wait till he wakes-"_

_But Remus heard no more as the blur swiftly focused onto the floor rushing up to meet him and everything finally fell into merciful darkness. _

Remus blinked, finding himself staring at a grey, stone wall. He had almost forgotten where he was and what he was doing.

_Remus Lupin- that was amazingly stupid. Why need a dementor when you have one Remus John Lupin to suck the happiness out of the air?_

With a heavy sigh he peered up at the window. There was still some time. He went over to the locked door and checked it again, he examined some of the crude planks lying against the wall, he started pacing again.

_Tonks would kill you for thinking so negatively…_

He had been worried that Tonks would try to do something foolish and come to see him tomorrow morning right after his transformation. He was slightly comforted by the fact that she had Ministry work to accomplish and had told him in a rather disappointed way that she would be tracking with several other aurors until tomorrow afternoon sometime. By the time she would be off from work, he would hopefully be back at his small, recently rented apartment and would look relatively well rested and healed. Though she had been the one to nurse him back to health following the incident at the Montgomery's, he had a feeling that this transformation would be brutal. The idea of Tonks seeing him in such a weakened and battered state did not bring him any mental consolidation.

Thinking of Tonks helped his nerves slightly. As he stared up at the small window, making out the passing dark clouds far up in the sky he knew the moment of transformation would be soon and nervously in an attempt to distract himself, he found another, much more cheerful memory-

_"You git! I'm not taking your cloak!" she said tossing the threadbare cloak back at him._

_"I'm afraid you have to Nymphadora. I've been watching you shiver since we first got on the bus and it would be very un-gentlemanlike of me not to offer you my cloak." he said, putting it back on her._

_"I've already got my own tweed today." she retorted, pushing the cloak away.  
He looked over at her. "Yes I noticed. But its not genuine tweed."_

_"And you would know because…?_

_"Because 'tweed is the equivalent of the muggle dinosaurs…its old fashioned…no, not old fashioned…extinct.'" he quoted. "Your observation of my love for tweed jumpers that day was correct. I happen to prize my extensive knowledge of the ancient fabric since so very few obviously possess it."_

_Her wrinkled cheeks grew pink. "Well forget what I said then… I'm making it up to you today by dressing to match."_

_He gently tugged a tightly curled lock of iron-gray hair on her head. "And so mocking my own appearance is necessary as well?" _

_"People would just assume we're an elderly couple riding the bus. You should've brought birdseed to make it look more convincing."_

_"Haha." he said bleakly, putting the cloak on her shoulders again. _

_She pushed it back towards him. "I don't need your cloak. I am a fully capable auror."_

_"This I am well aware of, but aurors possess bountiful amounts of common sense so I would have thought you would see the sense in borrowing my cloak, after already making the mistake of wearing faux tweed on this chilly winter day."_

_"However an auror may dress, they also have pride." she said stubbornly. _

_Slightly irritated now, he put the cloak firmly around her. "I'll be gone for several months, allow me the privilege of letting you borrow you my damn cloak." _

_She gasped._

_"What?" he asked in alarm. _

_"You swore!" _

_He smiled. "I am human."_

_Her eyes widened even more. "No werewolf rubbish either!"_

_Immediately a frown crossed his face. "I meant that I'm human, not a robot- of course I can swear. I meant that statement figuratively." _

_"Bollocks Remus!" she said gleefully. "You can swear and you forgot your 'I'm a mopey werewolf routine'!" _

_"Tonks-"_

_"I like it." she said immediately. "You should say stuff like that more often."  
"It was an accident."_

_"Don't take it back. It'll depress me."_

_"Sorry to disappoint. I take it back."_

_She glared at him and with an angry huff, pushed his cloak to the bus's floor before turning away to stare out the snowy glass window. _

_Growing irritated at the lack of respect for his worn, patched cloak he was ready to pick it up again, when he stopped. _

_"Tonks?"_

_No answer. _

_"I'm sorry." he said honestly. "Yes I do occasionally swear, and yes- for twenty-nine days of the month, I am human."_

_She turned slowly. "You're always Remus Lupin."_

_"Except for the one day." he said stiffly. _

_She cocked her head, looking at him closely. "Maybe you feel like you lose yourself that one day, but I see it as just another part of you."_

_"That isn't me. You've never seen it- that monster that comes about-"_

_She put a finger to his lips, covering his protest. He stared at her startled, frozen. "Say what you will, but aurors have incredible perspective and observation skills. I say what I want to. Plus, if you take it back now- I will refuse to wear your cloak and I am so miserably cold right now."_

_Tentatively he smiled and Tonks leaned closer towards him wearing a similar grin that was making her eyes sparkle in a truly beautiful way. They both were inches from each other, their breaths each tickling the other's face and an irresistible force was pulling them closer together -_

_"Choo doin' back 'ere?" came a loud voice right behind them and they both jumped in surprise before turning around to see the spotty bus conductor in his purple uniform, standing right behind them, watching them curiously as he held onto a nearby candle bracket. _

_"We are always interrupted in moments like these, aren't we?" asked Remus quietly and Tonks let out a small laugh._

_"If it's not Sirius, or the kids-" That morning while eating breakfast, there had been another private moment that was hastily interrupted by the trio- "its a random bus conductor."_

_"That is the story of our lives, Nymphadora."_

_"I will strangle you with your own cloak if you call me that." she said menacingly. _

_The bus lurched again and Tonks picked up Remus's fallen cloak and put it around her before resting her grey-haired head on his own tweed shoulder. _

_Though he tried to focus on reading the paper he had brought along, he could only smile as Tonks wiggled about for a moment before finally getting comfortable and dozing off…_

Remus standing there in the dreary bunker, smiled. It really hadn't happened that long ago…not even two years…who would have thought so much would have happened in that short amount of time? He'd spent so much of his life alone and in just a few short recent years (_a blink in his long, rather dull lifetime, _he thought,_)_ it had been filled with a riot of…well…pink. Something about that short spiky bubblegum-coloured hairstyle would always remain imprinted on his memories when reflecting back on those precious years.

He adjusted the blanket he had brought along. He had wrapped himself up in it because although he was alone- sitting starkers in a cold dungeon-like bunker did not seem practical to him. Perhaps it was silly, but it was also something of a habit. Madam Pomprey had always supplied him with a blanket when he was a boy and waited out in the Shrieking Shack to transform. Wearing his clothes when transforming was ridiculous because they were almost always a torn mess of rags when he awoke the next day. It just made sense to go naked, but he didn't want to catch a cold, hence the blanket.

Or maybe he just had prudish, Victorian ideas about his body. Not that it really mattered. It wasn't really something that really came up in everyday conversation.

There was a small rustling noise near the door and Remus turned sharply, his heart pounding furiously but saw nothing except the looming shadows on the grey, stone walls. He let out his breath in a relieved sigh. _Probably a mouse._ He hoped it would leave quickly so that it wouldn't get hurt. Werewolves didn't attack animals unless they got in the way of human prey, but there was always a chance a plank could fall on it during his wolf rampage. He felt a wry smile cross his face…_I'm worried about a little mouse being hurt when I'm seconds away from turning into a blood-crazed monster._

He wished that he had Wolfsbane. It was so unbelievably miraculous, possessing a human mind while in a wolf's body. The relief of being in control, of knowing he would transform back without the horrible panic of wondering if he had hurt somebody was worth the horrible taste. Unfortunately, Wolfsbane was unbelievably difficult to make and the ingredients, expensive. He couldn't get a hold of any of it even if he wanted to.

He sighed, trying to keep his mind blank or at least filled with harmless, inconsequential thoughts…he was failing. Like an internal clock, his heart was ticking away the seconds he had left.

_Now…_

He stopped short- staring at the floor before him. The long-awaited moonlight suddenly splashed across the floor, an inch from where Remus was standing. He stared at it.

_So begins another nightmare._

He took a deep breath and then stepped forward into the silver glow.

Stepping into the moonlight was something that many could never understand or imagine.

A cold pierced him all over felt like sharp, pointed knives- it was so sudden and painful it took his breath away. It was more of a fire than cold- from head to toe he was suddenly engulfed- the icy fire seared through his skin and quickly went deeper, ruthlessly plunging its way to the very marrow of his bones and core of his body.

But Remus knew that that was nothing for what was about to come…what always followed.

His limbs began to shake uncontrollably. His bones felt as if they were splintering now alongside his rapidly burning skin…his insides felt as if they were tossed into a bowl of burning pitch…he writhed in pain as he frantically began his old familiar mental mantra…

_My name is Remus John Lupin. My name is Remus John Lupin. My name is- _

Every pore and atom of his body was shrieking in agony as if they had simultaneously exploded- every inch of his body was dowsed in blinding, excruciating pain. Then he felt his limbs start to mercilessly snap and crack as they shattered to rearrange themselves for what was to come…

_My name is Remus Lupin…_

He fought to stay conscious…what felt like an invisible pillow was now pressed over his mouth and nose. He frantically attempted to draw breath but of course, nothing happened. His desperate gasps for air were not filling his lungs which had sealed themselves from the very precious element they were screaming for. His head was spinning…

_My name…Remus…_

The pain rapidly mounted. Remus let out an involuntary scream and heard a loud, feral snarl emerge from his lips instead. His body was no contorting into a shape that was no longer his own. He fell forward, limbs curling from the torture and he saw his fingers twisting in a way that would have been impossible as a human…twisting and quickly sprouting fur…

_My name…_

He could feel his shoulders hunching and his human features melting away like an old waxwork tossed carelessly into a burning fire. He was no longer looking at human hands…paws were there…paws bearing terrible curled claws- claws to kill with…

_My…_

And just when the pain had reached its climax, there was a burst of silver white light from behind his eyes and Remus knew nothing more.

* * *

He was aware of pain once again.

He hadn't even opened his eyes yet- he wasn't even fully conscious- but through the hazy fogginess- sharp pain was all he could acknowledge.

And it quickly grew as his struggle to become conscious grew. Every inch of him, every pore of his body was in pain. Every molecule seemed to be throbbing. God he ached…

It was very cold…and he supposed that he was shivering, but it felt more like minor convulsions.

He forced himself to open his eyelids which felt like lead they were so heavy.

At first all he could make out was a dense white fog that seemed to cover his eyes, but it soon started to fade as his consciousness strengthened.

He didn't move. He wanted to scream, to moan from the pain but to do so would hurt even more so he focused on his wild breathing which was coming to him in desperate gasps that pierced his lungs and every atom of his body that moved because of it.

He closed his eyes. He could feel warm blood oozing down his sides and slowly seeping onto the dirt floor under him. He would rest a little while before trying to move- he wondered if he'd even be able to apparate. He doubted it, but if he didn't head back home before Tonks got there, she might worry-

There was a loud thud that sounded as if a plank had fallen over by the door.

"Ow! Bugger!"

His eyes snapped open. It was impossible.

But apparently it wasn't, because through the blurred haze of his own weary eyes- Nymphadora Tonks was striding over towards him, stepping over the wreckage….

He wanted to shout at her but he was so exhausted he couldn't even be properly furious, "Tonks….no."

"You think that I'll be ashamed to see you like this?" she asked briskly, undoing her heavy, traveling cloak

"Please…"

She ignored him.

"Tonks…what are you doing here?"

She threw her cloak around him, like a blanket. From what he could see, his own blanket that he brought along was torn and scattered about the corners of the room. "What am I doing here? Good question. I came here to practice my ballroom dancing… what do you think you stupid prat?! I came here to take care of you, something all good girlfriends should do when their boyfriend is a werewolf."

"What about tracking with the other aurors?"

"I lied." she said cheerfully.

He could feel a muscle jumping in his jaw as he involuntarily clenched his teeth.

"Don't look so angry Remus, I had to have some good excuse up my sleeve so you wouldn't get suspicious."

"How long have you been here?" he asked, his voice as dry and rough as sandpaper.

Tonks was on her knees and propped him up so that he could be reclining against her. "The whole night."

The exhaustion and anger momentarily vanished as a wave of shock hit him. "WHAT?"

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you." she said with a hint of complacency. "I knew you'd never be alright with it."

"Alright with it? Tonks, I could have killed you!" he said furiously.

"I was well protected." said Tonks, pointing behind her shoulder towards the dark door. "If things had gotten out of hand, I'd have apparated away."

"You never should have come here-"

"Well, I'm already here so too bad."

His shivering had ceased somewhat from under the cloak. Tonks leaned over into a satchel she had had on her shoulder and pulled out a tightly sealed, thermal mug. "But look! I brought tea for you! Cast a successful self-heating charm and everything. And I brought you some biscuits. I ate some of them before I came here, but the rest are somewhere in my bag, hold on-"

"Tonks-"

"-there was a bar of chocolate in here! Where the hell did it go? I swear I had it right here next to the-"

"Tonks…"

"-well so much for that. What?"

"What did I do?"

She stopped rummaging, a small cup in her hand to look over at him. "As a wolf? You efficiently tore the place apart and several times you attacked yourself."

Remus shut his eyes in despair. Brilliant. Now she could think of him as a self-abusing, morose, prig on top of everything else.

"But hey, you had no control over it…I don't think you even remember it, do you?"

Despite her gentle voice, Remus was still ashamed. He shut his eyes and wished with all his heart she wasn't there, that it was all just an enormous hallucination-

Tonks swore loudly as the cup slipped from her hand and hot tea spilled on her leg.

Remus opened his eyes and Tonks grinned at him sheepishly. "I didn't think it was going to be screwed on that tightly."

"Tonks…why?"

"Why what?"

"Why all this?"

"Dunno. Further proof that I'm with you to the end?" she grinned. "Evidence that I'm not as bad a caretaker as you might think? Curiosity as to why you are so ashamed of me seeing you as a werewolf? Do you even really need a reason?"

"No." he said slowly. "Not anymore. You don't have to do this though-"

She scooted closer over to him and cradled his head in her arms. "I'm not going anywhere." she whispered fiercely. "Don't even try to make me go, because I'm not leaving."

"I know."

Silence.

* * *

Tonks knelt by Remus feeling uncharacteristically like one of those tender-hearted heroines in those nauseating romance novels that were usually stacked in Flourish and Blotts. Kneeling by her love's side, minding his wounds, taking care of him with gentle affection and increasing devotion…

But she didn't mind. With any other bloke, (Hain coming vividly to mind) most defiantly not- but for Remus she didn't mind in the slightest.

She looked down at him. He looked terrible. One of his eyes was already swelling rapidly and a mixture of dirt and blood caked his gray streaked hair. There was also a nasty looking gash on the side of his face, still weeping blood. Tonks pulled up one of her long sleeves from her robes and wiped it gently away. His eyes were shut, his breathing rather ragged.

Last night had been horrible. Nothing could have prepared her for it.

As an auror, Tonks had seen a lot of terrible things. She had also heard of a lot of things that made even the most stout-hearted of aurors race to the toilets with their hands over their mouths. She had seen Remus after his fight with Fenrir at the Montgomerys and had therefore braced herself for the worst. But it still hadn't been enough. It had been the strangest thing to watch the man she loved- whom she was convinced she would love for the rest of her life- to transform so violently into such a terrifying creature.

She had watched him standing before the patch of moonlight like a diver ready to spring from a high board and continued to watch as he stepped into the moonlight, the resignation and grim determination carved into his lined face. It had nearly caused her heart to burst.

She had continued to watch with increasing horror as Remus transformed from man to wolf. Her face still bore tiny crescent shaped dents from when her nails had unconsciously dug into her face as she watched. She was a woman of action, an auror- it had been torture to sit there and stare helplessly through that small mail slot, wishing with all her heart that he wouldn't have to go through the monthly process that he loathed so much.

At one point during the night (in the midst of ripping apart the blanket) the wolf had turned sharply, probably catching just the slightest whiff of her. Had it caught more, it would have attacked that door for the rest of the night, but she had sat there in the shadows, holding her breath as golden eyes peered through the mail slot holding no love, no recognition, nothing of the man she knew. A wolf with a wild, crazed lust for sinking its teeth into human flesh was what was peering into the darkness where she sat. That same vulnerability that she had felt that night at the Montgomery's with the transformed Fenrir, was back…and after what had seemed an eternity, the wolf had finally turned away.

Since she could do nothing for Remus at that point, she forced herself to sit it out and watch every terrible second of it.

In the end, Remus had gotten through another full moon but Tonks had found it harder.

She looked down at Remus whose breathing seemed to be easing up a bit. He looked so miserable, lying there, and she loved him. Utterly and totally loved him.

He was staring up at her, his brown eyes- no more eerie golden wolf ones- meeting her gaze straight on, apparently gathering some sort of internal strength.

Perhaps next time, she could bring some dittany with her. Just to clear up some of the cuts, it would help at least some of the nastier ones.

Remus was reaching for her face with slightly trembling fingers, she helped guide his bloody and bruised hand to the side of her cheek where it rested shakily- his touch surprisingly soft.

Bloody hell, she loved him. And as for secretly watching him transform…he could deny it all he wanted, but she knew he appreciated what she had done deep down. Sitting there, unwilling to move with Remus's hand on the side of her face, she wondered absentmindedly what had became of the chocolate she intended to pack. She had a terrible feeling she had left it sitting on the kitchen counter back home when she raced to toss everything into the satchel. Next time she'd remember. Maybe write a note to herself…

Remus closed his eyes momentarily and drew a few more unsteady breaths before opening them again.

"Tonks….will you marry me?"

Her brain which had been speeding along so smoothly before, came to a screeching stop as if it had collided into an unexpected brick wall. Her thoughts had turned into a useless pile of mush, her heart seemed to have stopped dead as the air left her lungs- she had to have heard him wrong. She had to have. She forced herself to speak, to say something-

"Hhhnnnnnggggghhh?"

"I understand this isn't the most romantic or appropriate of times to ask," he said quietly, a ghost of a smile on his cracked lips. "I didn't even plan on asking you this way at all, but I feel…well…I know this is the right time to ask you. If that makes any sense…"

She could only stare numbly at him, mouth still gaping.

"Tonks?" he whispered.

She drew a deep breath and then screamed so loudly he winced.

"Just one second!" she cried, barely making sure Remus was comfortable before racing to the door, throwing it open and sprinting outside into the early morning dawn-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Her scream had sent a flock of small birds nearby to take flight in panic and Tonks momentarily in the midst of her ecstasy, was forced to duck and take cover- but as soon as the danger had passed- she screamed with excitement again before racing back inside the bunker.

Remus was now standing unsteadily using the wall for support, the cloak she had given him wrapped around him like a demented toga.

"Let me make sure I've got this straight- you finally have asked me…to marry you?"

"Yes."

Tonks let out a strange noise that was half a snort, half sob.

"I take it that's a 'yes' then?" Remus said with a tentative smile.

"YES!" she cried throwing herself into his arms.

She had done so a little too enthusiastically and his head bounced off the stone wall with a sickening loud thud.

"Bugger! Are you alright?"

"Mild concussion, that's all." he muttered.

"Here, do you want to sit down again?"

"No, no. I should probably stand for a bit."

Tonks put her hands on either side of his face, looking into his eyes which seemed to be reflecting her own dazzling happiness despite his obvious exhaustion. "Took you long enough! I mean really, you put me off so many times I thought you'd never get around to it. I considered asking you, but we both would have known that you and your old fashioned ways would never have stood it."

"I wouldn't have minded." said Remus, and she could tell that he was sincere. She beamed.

"AHHHH!! WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO GET MARRIED!"

"I know."

She felt like swatting his shoulder for that comment but settled instead for pressing her lips fiercely to his. The kiss instantly deepened, and Tonks felt herself fall into a dizzying whirlwind of very much anticipated passion. She put her arms around his neck as fireworks seemed to explode inside her head and heart-the Hallelujah chorus had to be loudly playing somewhere-it was one of those glorious moments that seemed to last much longer than it really was.

She pulled back, feeling rather flushed as she tried to catch her breath, beaming up at him.

Remus spoke up first, "I'm afraid I don't have a ring. As I stated earlier, I had no intention of asking you like this."

"I don't need a ring." she snorted. "I'd probably lose it anyways."

"Nonetheless, I'm still going to get you one."

But Tonks couldn't think of anything else except the dazzling thought of being engaged to Remus. Bollocks to a ring or a fancy restaurant or however it was supposed to go. She was going to get married! Married! Finally married to Remus Lupin!

"When are we going to get married?" she asked.

"I'm not sure." he admitted. "When do you think we should?"

"Soon."

"Really?"

"Well I don't want a really big wedding and I'd say we've put this off long enough."

"True." he smiled. "But are you sure about the wedding size?"

She nodded, reaching out and pushing some of the grey hairs that had fallen into his face off to the side. "Yeah…see my Mum eloped with my Dad, so I was never one for the big glorious weddings that everyone seems to fantasize about."

"Well we'll have to think it all over carefully." said Remus, his hand snaking around her waist.

"Mmmm." she said, her mind now focusing on something entirely different- _Mrs. Nymphadora Lupin!_ Ugh. _Mrs. Tonks Lupin!_ Awkward. _Mrs. Dora Lupin_…hmm…workable.

Remus had been watching her closely. "Why such a serious expression?"

"Oh nothing…I was just thinking for a moment of my name. You know- if I marry you…I'd be a Lupin."

"Well yes, you would be." he said, his voice lilting with amusement.

"And so I was thinking of what name would sound best. Nymphadora does not sound good with any last name you know."

He chuckled at that and Tonks grinned. With one hand still around her waist, he suddenly cupped her chin with his fingers to better look into her eyes for a moment. He seemed to be searching intently for something in her blissful expression. "You said 'yes'."

"Well…yes." Tonks said, slightly confused at the incredulous tone in his voice. "I mean, did you really expect I'd say no?"

But he had already closed the gap with his lips in a warm, tender kiss that made her insides squirm and quickly melt in a way that always occurred whenever Remus kissed her like that…

Remus was the one who broke it that time, gripping the side of the wall suddenly, swaying slightly. Tonks though she was still caught up in the romantic moment, forced herself to focus on the situation with an auror's eye-

"If I'm knackered I can't even imagine how wretched you feel."

"I'm alright." he said hoarsely.

"And the 'Screaming Skulls' are a good band." said Tonks sarcastically. "Come'on- let's go home. You should probably be resting somewhere safe and not in this miserable, dreary bunker."

She held his hand to apparate them both away (she doubted Remus would be able to do it properly himself) and felt him squeeze her hand back gently.

"I'll get us back alright." she reassured him.

"I'm not worried about that." Remus smiled. "I was just practicing for future skydiving with you."

"We'll run and jump holding hands then?"

"Yes…" he said so quietly, Tonks had to lean closer to hear him. "We'll jump together."

* * *

_Another small author's note: Eh- "lo siento". I'm going to be gone for a short while-three weeks. Obviously, I'm not going to be able to post anything during that time, but I'm gonna have a ton of time on an airplane where I can write and outline future chapters to come. So I just wanted to let you all know that I will have another chapter up, but its going to be a short while. Please don't think I've disappeared or something. Remember that I'm gonna try to have this finished by the end of the summer. Again, I'm sorry for the wait. :(_


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